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Open Thread for Personal Stuff: February 2014 Edition

catsdriving

An open thread for personal stuff, continuing from here.

As usual for these threads: no trolls, no arguments.

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katz
6 years ago

As a follow-up to the soldiers with kittens, I present a Red Army soldier feeding an owl. Anyone got a translation for the caption?

catgirl
catgirl
6 years ago

I just want to spread love and happiness to everyone.

leatapp
leatapp
6 years ago

Too many snow days here.

pecunium
6 years ago

The first word is confusing me. I can make out the suffix, but the first part makes no sense as it looks (letter which ought not go together.

So it looks like, “person, remembers pet-name”

But I could interpret the letters as any one of these:

Дьитaльтельнитца трей машинь

Дитaльтельнитца трей машинь

Дбитaльтельнитца трей машинь

Дъитaльтельнитца трей машинь

So I need to dig into the dictionaries (because the last word sort of looks like, the plural of, “Machines”, but the soft sign on the end is odd, so I think it’s an animal based hyper-diminutive of Masha).

BreakfastMan
BreakfastMan
6 years ago

Still haven’t found a job yet, but I am still getting plenty of interviews and still looking, so not doing too horrible there.

In the meantime, I am really lamenting my lack of interpersonal skills. I don’t really make friends easily, and I tend to not keep up with the people I know, which seems like it has had a fairly detrimental effect on the job-finding process. The loneliness that comes from having few friends (none of which live nearby) and no significant other doesn’t help my psyche either…

Ah well, at least my family is supportive and understanding, so everything is not super terrible. XD

Howard Bannister
6 years ago

Hey, everybody. I’ve been super-busy and super-absent. Basically, I’ve been given the not-so-enviable job of being on the team that drags a 30-year-old mainframe onto a web-based platform.

Which isn’t great.

It does mean I’ll be part of rolling out universal health care for my state… so that’s a nice feeling, at the end of the day.

(not Obamacare–we’ve already rolled that out. It’s… slightly better than what came before, but it’s still profit-oriented with major gaps. We’re going to do better, dammit)

Also, it looks like I’m going to be an officer on my fire department shortly. That’s… pretty scary. Loads of responsibilities.

I’m tired and cranky, but I feel like I’m making a difference and doing good things. And that makes up for a lot.

markb
markb
6 years ago

Katz, Pecunium,

It says, “обитательница моей машины”, inhabitant (or tenant) of my car.

Ally S
6 years ago

So my dad just told me this in an email:

[male name], I was probably within few feet of where you were at 5:09AM on Thursday. I had to pull back because we did not know who and how many people you are with and whether any of those people were armed. We could have been fired upon if we stepped on private property. So, it was our pragmatic decision to pull back.

On the bright side, he is no longer in the area and is now assisting my grandfather at the hospital in San Jose. BUT HOLY FUCKING SHIT I CAN’T BELIEVE HE WAS THAT CLOSE. At least he doesn’t know the address.

Marie
Marie
6 years ago

@Ally

That’s scary. Hugs from me, if wanted.

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
6 years ago

@BreakfastMan: good luck with the job finding process. Just remember, even if you don’t get the job after the interview, that’s not necessarily because you “did anything wrong”, it’s just a reflection of the calibre of job applicants. I’ve been in some interviews where we wished we could give everyone who interviewed a job (but there weren’t enough vacancies). It really boils down to the luck of the draw for applicants. So don’t take it personally!

@pecunium, your range of abilities continues to astound me.

pecunium
6 years ago

Oh, I missed one:

Двитaльтельнитца трей машинь

serrana
serrana
6 years ago

Holy crap, Ally.

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
6 years ago

@Ally, did he think you had been kidnapped?

pecunium
6 years ago

MarkB: so it does. have I mentioned how much I hate russian handwriting.

Kiwi girl: Aw, you’re going to make me blush. The Russian is courtesy of the US Army, and led to an interesting problem today.

I spent some time with a lovely young woman from Russia staring deeply into my eyes, while we sat in a pleasantly dim room. This is less romantic than it sounds, because she happened to be the optometrist examining me (my eyes are a bit worse than they were a year ago, maybe .25 diopter).

But when she was asking me if I could read the charts some of the letters were flipping between Latin and Cyrillic in my mind.

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
6 years ago

How did the eye test go?

pecunium
6 years ago

re the caption, it doesn’t help that in addition to crap O, and M, he made a terrible ы, I thought it was a soft-sign with an exclamation point (and that he used the m form of the letter T, which is my default for the lower case).

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
6 years ago

@pecunium, sorry what I meant was, how does the slightly worse eyesight fit into the wider scheme of things with respect to your eyesight over time. I can haz read for comprehension.

pecunium
6 years ago

Kiwi girl: I’m getting older. My eyesight has orbited this level (-6.5, about 1.0cyl) for 15 years. All in all it’s about what I expected. The edges of things have been a bit less than completely sharp for awhile (most notable when looking at things like the clock on the microwave), which could have been scuffed lenses, or a slight change in ocular acuity.

It was the latter.

markb
markb
6 years ago

Pecunium, yes, the handwriting is very odd. I was only able to make sense of it because of context. I don’t know how you can make an “O” look like a “D” by accident.

BreakfastMan
BreakfastMan
6 years ago

@Kiwi: Oh, I know. I also know that I don’t interview particularly well, as I tend to freeze up, get incredibly nervous, and find it hard to think straight. I can do just fine while working on my own, it is just that I have an incredibly difficult time doing interviews.

@Ally: Well, that sounds fucking awful. Does you family know your father is being this horrible, or are most of them sympathetic towards or in cahoots with him?

Argenti Aertheri
6 years ago

Seriously?! He didn’t try to confront you because he might be gunned down? That’s just fucking stupid. If you guys can, it may be of benefit to set up a webcam to record out a front window if there is one (idk if Katz has an apt or house or whatnot) — worst case it’d be solid proof if you need a restraining order.

You may want to reply with something along the lines of: and it’s my pragmatic decision to request you leave me alone unless I contact you. I’m safe and that’s all you need to know. (Do NOT say anything about whether anyone is armed, he’s most likely baiting you)

PA law no contact orders require the person to explicitly know you don’t want them contacting you.

Pecunium — oh misplaced Cali boy (man, whatever), do you know the laws on that out there? I only know PA’s. Also…cá va bein? (Is that spelt right?)

Argenti Aertheri
6 years ago

Oh, the other thing to do, if he does show up, tell him to leave (or have katz do so) — if he refuses, call the cops, he’s trespassing.

Argenti Aertheri
6 years ago

Not to spam this thread but Pecunium there’s a question on the spermbank thread about Quakers.

cloudiah
6 years ago

Shit that’s scary, Ally. I think I agree with David about the restraining order.

I’ve added some stuff to the bucket o’ hugs.

Ally S
6 years ago

We are considering a restraining order, but we would rather not get one until/unless it’s absolutely necessary. And just so you folks know, my phone is off and untraceable because I took out the battery and the SIM card.

kittehserf
6 years ago

So if your phone’s off, how did he trace you, Ally? How does he even know what city you’re in?

Could that whole “I was so close” be a bullshit line to scare you? I wouldn’t be at all surprised. If he can’t trace you, how could he claim to be within a few streets?

I think (I hope!) that was just another intimidation tactic.

Definitely agree about the restraining order, though.

Ally S
6 years ago

Somehow it accidentally turned on, perhaps because of a power surge when it was still connected to the wall charger.

kittehserf
6 years ago

Oh fuck.

Howard Bannister
6 years ago

@Ally — seconding/thirding/fourthing/nthing all the yikes. Whatever you decide with the restraining order, good luck.

cloudiah
6 years ago

And @Howard, good on you for the Fire Dept stuff. I’m sure they wouldn’t do that if you weren’t eminently capable.

Ally S
6 years ago

Tawny and I say hi! :3

serrana
serrana
6 years ago

Hi Tawny! Hi Ally! Stay safe, okay?

pineapplecookies
pineapplecookies
6 years ago

I realize that my problems are not very serious… but depression has hit quite hard and I haven’t been able to get out of bed for almost two weeks now. I have been doing some stuff I should, but I stay in bed most of the time. Also, I have not been eaten properly.
I need to find a job, but I cannot get out of bed and stop thinking what a failure I am.
I don’t even know why I decided to share this here since I am not even a regular or anything… but I don’t want to make friends and family worried.

Ally S
6 years ago

I’m sorry, pineapplecookies. :< Internet hugs if you want them. And please don't worry about posting here – this is a thread for personal stuff, and there are no rules besides not trolling and not arguing.

I understand your fear in not wanting to make your friends and family worried. But in my experience, not telling anyone and bottling up all of your feelings hurts a lot in the long run. Of course, not everyone is the same, but it's something I think you should consider even if you're afraid of them worrying about you.

katz
6 years ago

Pineapplecookies, don’t ever worry about your problems being too unimportant to mention here. This is just a thread for hearing about what is happening in other people’s lives.

Andrew Johnston
6 years ago

@pineapplecookies: Sounds disturbingly familiar. Not knowing your exact situation, I can’t exactly give too much advice, but let me ask you this: Is there something at which you’re personally talented, or want to be? The big problem with unemployment (especially when it’s coupled with an emotional problem) is all the time you have, and if you don’t find something to occupy that time it just becomes another chance to hate yourself. Having a project might not help you find a job (I hate the people who say it does, because it suggests that anyone who doesn’t parley their hobby into a career is a failure), but at the very least you can go to bed without feeling like you’ve wasted the day. It makes a big difference.

pineapplecookies
pineapplecookies
6 years ago

Thank you, everyone and thank you for the hugs, Ally. I hope everything turns out well for you.

I am studying now, Andrew, so it occupies my mind… or it used to. I am feeling strange these past weeks, no energy, no wish to do anything I enjoy. I like your idea of having a project. I really should try that. =))
I am trying any job, really… I had some money saved, but it will be gone soon. That might have triggered my depression. I also have a broken heart and this makes me feel a little like a teenager…
I don’t know about telling people around me… I am scared they will not understand. I don’t know, when I think rationally, my thoughts of failure and worry seem so silly, but I seem not to be able to control them.

Robert
Robert
6 years ago

My eldest son made it to karate class this past Monday, and went to high school exams Tuesday and Wednesday. It wasn’t that long ago that he wouldn’t have left the house that many times in a month. He’s been getting CBT with a counselor who comes to the house twice a week. It does seem to be helping. He’s sixteen, by the way. This is part of an agreement we made with him: if he can modify his behavior sufficiently before the end of the school year, he can continue to be drug-free. If he can’t, he’ll be back on his meds. We’re hoping that the motivation is sufficient to overcome his resistance. So is he.

Younger son, twelve, is at the cusp of adolescence. He veers between using filthier language than I’ve heard from anyone in a while, to saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you ‘ to get his way. He’s completely obsessed with anime, to the point of writing crossover fanfic. Or, as he puts it, “it’s fan FICTION”.

But at least both of them truly enjoy being at home. I liked to think that that is a good thing.

pineapplecookies
pineapplecookies
6 years ago

@auggziliary: I might try the chats, I never did that before. Maybe it will give me some comfort.
I take meds and see a doctor. I wanted a therapist, but I cannot afford one at the moment and the waiting list for the free one is very long. I am there, but it will take a long time.
My depression is actually quite mild. But I have these moments sometimes. This one is being quite long and annoying….

pineapplecookies
pineapplecookies
6 years ago

You know, Robert’s post was funny because karate and writing fan fiction were major things that helped me cope with depression. It is good that your sons are enjoying these activities :))

My broken heart thing is quite recent. I know it will go… but this thought is not helping. I just need to try new interesting things to do and think. I should try something creative or craft related. But then I start thinking how much I suck lol it is a vicious cycle! I will write down some plans and try some meditation or relaxing activities.

pineapplecookies
pineapplecookies
6 years ago

just saw your new comment, auggziliary!

No, definitely not bipolar. My doctor, when she first met me, thought so as well, but it has been discarded. I will see her soon and she might increase my medication. I think this time my depression is being caused by external factors. Sometimes it comes from nowhere, but I believe there is more of a reason now. This makes it a little easier to get over it than those times where they come out of the blue. At least that is the feeling I have.

Sam-I-Was?
Sam-I-Was?
6 years ago

Ally, I’m sending up thoughts to you in the universe that you stay safe. Remember that abusers are very good at exploiting any weakness they see so he will probably try to make you feel guilty about your family and how you are making him feel. Please keep trying to move forward you have taken a huge first step. nth’ing what others have said you might want to look at a prepaid. While I don’t think I’m in the same area I found a cheap prepaid that didn’t even have the ability to have gps (no tracking!) on it at my local dollar store for less then $10. It’s clunky and not all that nice to look at but it makes calls and it can’t be tracked.

Pineapplecookies, depression is a tricky thing as you can know in your “rational” mind that what you are thinking doesn’t necessarily make sense but it is effecting you now. I hope that you are able to navigate the list to get a therapist soon but don’t be afraid to lean on your friends and family. Your problems are important and I hope you are able to get help soon.

I am going to leave a big box of internet hugs in this corner if anyone would like some.

Marie
Marie
6 years ago

@Ally

Tawny and I say hi! :3

Aww, you and kittens, double adorable! :3

(and, um, tell me if I’m being creepy. I can’t tell)

@pineapplecookies

Depression sucks 🙁 hugs from me, if you want them. And I don’t think you got to worry about posting here even though your not a regular. (tho you post often enough I recognize you.)

@robert

Idk, man, premptive apology, b/c the way I’m reading your comment is affected by my past.

you said ” This is part of an agreement we made with him: if he can modify his behavior sufficiently before the end of the school year, he can continue to be drug-free. If he can’t, he’ll be back on his meds. We’re hoping that the motivation is sufficient to overcome his resistance. So is he.”

And idk. I hope for your son’s sake this is stuff he is okay with. (going on meds, modifying his behavior.) Because my parents put me on meds against my will, (after locking me up somewhere) and that so fucking shattered my ability to trust them and almost our relationship. Idk if this makes sense? And maybe I sound like an asshat, but I’m just worried about your son and hoping you take his considerations in this a lot.

Sorry if it seems like I’m attacking you. I’m just worried, and probably responding more to you like you’re my parents, since I don’t know what your situation is like.

Ally S
6 years ago

@Marie

Lol no, there isn’t a single person here I can think of who is creepy (besides some of the trolls). 😛

Marie
Marie
6 years ago

@Ally

Just checking :3

PlausibleFlight
PlausibleFlight
6 years ago

So I’m having a really rough day. I got laid off at my job this morning. That’s bad enough, but my partner has been a jerk about it. He yelled at me all day because when I called him to tell him I’d been let go while choking back panic and tears I was “mean.” Later I asked him if he would pick up something from the store for me because I didn’t feel up to going out and he told me no and that I should trying to be quitting sugar anyway. And he bitched because I didn’t do the dishes. I’m at wit’s end here. My life really sucks right now 🙁

canuck_with_pluck
canuck_with_pluck
6 years ago

Holy smokes, you guys, hugs to everyone who needs and wants them.

My roommate finally had her baby. He’s actually pretty adorable–and so quiet! I was worried about being able to sleep, but it hasn’t been a problem so far. And it’s really hilarious, because I keep telling people “oh, I have a newborn at home” and people who have seen me in the 9 months and therefore know (or think they know) that I wasn’t pregnant are very confused. It’s pretty hilarious.

Argenti Aertheri
6 years ago

Pineapplecookies — the standard response I get from people who’re usually caring has always been true to that, often akin to “why didn’t you say something sooner?”. Does not apply to people who’ve made comments about pulling yourself up by the bootstraps and the like.

I’m sorry but that’s the best I have. Once you’re feeling better you may want to pick a close friend or three and tell them that if they don’t hear from you for X time to poke you and see if you’re being depressive. I have Pecunium on orders not to let me disappear again 🙂

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