So manosphere dudes have a theory of sorts about young women that they frequently boil down to the handy catchphrase “alpha fucks, beta bucks.” The idea is that women — oh, you evil women! — have an insatiable desire to mate with and capture the sperm of hot but unreliable alpha males, and an equally innate tendency to try to con some hard-working beta schlub into paying the bills, with his beta bucks, for the resulting alpha spawn.
There are a few problems with this theory. First of all, this DOESN’T HAPPEN. Ands second,it makes no fucking sense. Why would the invisible hand of evolution want to reward the genes of Alpha men with no interest in caring for their kids and punish the betas who (at least in the manosphere version of the world) actually keep those kids alive?
But I digress. Because one clever Manospherian commenter — recently featured in a post on Rollo Tomassi’s Rational Male blog — has discovered yet more proof of the evil alpha fucks-beta bucks theory in action: Sperm banks.
Let’s let him explain, because I sure can’t:
Let’s look at this abstractly. Man and woman marry, find that she isn’t getting pregnant, determine from medical testing that his swimmers aren’t winning the race. So they pay for another man to impregnate her, although via a medical go-between. The original sperm banks screened donors and pretty much limited them to med students and other college men.
This is “Alpha Sperm, Beta Provisioning”, and nothing less. Putting a tech or a doctor in the middle wearing gloves and a lab coat, and injecting semen with a syringe rather than the usual method doesn’t change that.
Uh, aren’t sperm banks a way for couples who want babies and can’t have babies themselves to have babies? The guy in this scenario has no way to pass on his genes. That’s not an option. He wants a baby, too.
Sperm banks are therefore a clinical version of AF-BB, and as such clearly serve the Female Imperative in the same manner as a married woman having an affair while she’s ovulating … .
Uh, BUT THE MAN WANTS THE BABY TOO. Men can love children who are not biologically theirs. Families adopt children. They love them too.
[T]he whole idea of a sperm bank is a clear, medicalized, fully legal example of the Female Imperative of AF-BB … today we all accept it because teh wimmenz deserve their own bay-bee if they want one (or more), no matter the cost to anyone else.
What cost? WHAT COST? THE MAN WANTS THE BABY TOO.
“Rollo Tomassi” adds some conspiracy theorizing to the mix:
On virtually any post I’ve made about feminism … one or more commenters invariably post the youtube video about how feminism was conceived to destabilize western society (by the Rockefellers?). …. the fact that sperm banks were an unheard of development prior to the sexual revolution does give me pause to think that they were a need anticipated to better facilitate and perpetuate a future feminine-primary society.
Yes, that’s right. Feminism + Sperm Banks x Rockefellers = MALE ENSLAVEMENT
Indeed, he points out, some of the women who go to sperm banks DON’T EVEN HAVE HUSBANDS.
Almost as if in anticipation for the unfettering of women’s hypergamy, the facility of insuring a woman’s best optimized hypergamy was institutionalized and normalized. This may sound like conjecture (since the socially proposed purpose was to facilitate pregnancy for an infertile man), but the utility of sperm banks quickly shifted to facilitating the pregnancy of women who wouldn’t be married or had no intention of marrying to start a family.
Unmarried women having sperm bank babies. Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!
This was the first institution, legalized and normalized that laid bare feminism latent purpose – strong independent women® could remove the man from the equation of effecting an optimal hypergamy, while at the same time effecting future legislation and social engineering to enlist men (either publicly or privately) in the provisioning of this new breed of motherhood. And with every guy dutifully jerking off into a petrie dish, they effectually contribute one more element to institutionalized Alpha Fucks / Beta Bucks.
And so a dude getting paid to masturbate into a cup — they don’t use petri dishes, dude — becomes yet another brick to the wall of the manosphere’s imagined oppression of men.
Having done a newspaper story about sperm banks I went through the entire application process (because they wouldn’t talk to us at all). They don’t ask how alpha you are.
Parents to be want their kids to be smart, so how many languages you speak, what level of education you had, etc.
They have a big thing for viable, so it’s 72 hours (at a minimum) since your last ejaculation, and a random sampling for sperm count, as well as active sperm post deep-freeze.
For all that one got (in 1988, when I did the story) $15. They also wanted a commitment of not less than 6 donations a month, so that means the “Alpha Dude” is promising to not be orgasming for more than half the month.
Somehow I don’t think the dudes who are “swimming in women” were gonna be pursuing that for a whopping $90 bucks a month.
Even if it’s up to say 50 bucks, that only $300, for almost three weeks a month of no nookie.
re cats and food: When I moved in with my former housemate I was having a dinner of olive oil, bread, wine and olives. One of the cats decided he need to be allowed to have some of the olive brine. After enough pestering I let him.
He never tried to drink any liquid I was having again.
How about cuttlefish? The “alphas” are big, strong males that mate with a group of females they manage to impress. But there are also the smaller “betas” that disguise themselves as females to slip into the alpha’s harem and sexes up the ladies while the alpha isn’t looking. The females are impressed by the one’s strength and the other’s skill.
Aren’t there monkeys that practice polyandry?
That’s a smart cat. Buster waited until my tea was lukewarm, and then drank it. Now she always wants my tea, even when it’s too hot for me to drink. She’ll sit next to my thermos, head-butting it to try to get it open.
I’m not saying she’s not smart. But maybe she isn’t as smart as she thinks she is.
LOL I hadn’t thought of that! So it’s not Crap Memory, it’s Extreme Furrinati Suspicion.
Bwahahahahahaha!
Wipes out MRAs, then. Most of ’em don’t even speak their native language.
I saw what you did there
TFH, the so-called “futurist” and manospherian who launched the public bathroom campaign (he printed a bunch of fliers that read “The Misandry Bubble: Google It” and posted them up in public bathrooms above the urinals and on the doors across from the shitters), claims that he donates sperm regularly because he wants to spread his genes far and wide and also “get back” at “feminazis” and their “beta chump” husbands. He does this, he claims, by checking off the “caucasian” box on the form so that when, as he says, “a brown baby pops out” the feminazi mom will be surprised but the husband will be immediately suspicious of his wife.
“So manosphere dudes have a theory of sorts about young women that they frequently boil down to the handy catchphrase “alpha fucks, beta bucks.” The idea is that women — oh, you evil women! — have an insatiable desire to mate with and capture the sperm of hot but unreliable alpha males, and an equally innate tendency to try to con some hard-working beta schlub into paying the bills, with his beta bucks, for the resulting alpha spawn.”
– LOL! I know someone who employed this method and neither of the “dads” seem to mind at all. Its a long story but the “beta” who is currently raising the child loves the child as if he were his biological own. And he and the mother go way back and have been living together for years. She’s much younger than him and wanted a child. He didn’t (already has some from previous marriages). So she traveled for summer vacation and came back pregnant (by a much younger man). He was surprised but fine with it. Hey, that’s what she wanted and the child has brought so much joy into his life, particularly at this older stage.
All’s well that ends well.
What the Manosphere doesn’t get is that “alpha fucks, beta bucks” only sucks if you let it. In other words, these guys have worked their minds up into a frenzy of negativity about it. They can CHOOSE to see the positive in it and then it will be positive.
Happiness is a choice.
I’ve read a few of these MRA tracts about “male enslavement,” and the loving detail with which these predictions are written kind of make me wonder whether they’re getting off on it.
I think if I saw a poster of something I didn’t understand with all these strange words I would just carry on doing whatever I was doing. I would figure it’s irrelevant to my life.
Also, holy crap !
@ Farkus
A lot of them do seem like they’d be happier if they just went and found themselves a good pro domme, given how much time they spend imagining themselves under the high-heeled, pointy toed thigh high boot of oppression.
“A lot of them do seem like they’d be happier if they just went and found themselves a good pro domme, given how much time they spend imagining themselves under the high-heeled, pointy toed thigh high boot of oppression.”
– What about their obsession with cuckoldry? I tell you these guys are in the closet about all their genuine sexual desires and it comes out in passive aggressive (but very obvious) ways online.
coolies, http://www.singularity2050.com/2010/01/the-misandry-bubble.html
@Old Reader
Didn’t someone write like a sonnet about being cuckolded by a black guy? I think you’re on to something, here.
That was Roissy doing his unreadable garbage parody of Gordon Lightfoot’s song.
Now there’s a man who’s clearly read a lot of Rand.
Sooo… Women that literally want *nothing* from a guy–no support, no money, no time, just base genetic material–are destroying men. And women who want to raise babies with the male partner are destroying men.
And men who want mechanical wombs are heroes.
Oooookay.
Yeah, ‘cos the sperm bank isn’t going to check the form. Right. ‘cos noone would sue the spern bank if thesperm wasn’t as advertised. Nope, never going to happen. Not something sperm banks might worry about, at all. /sarcasm
Nice to know TFH is consistently stupid.
Given that MRAs are all born of woman, does anyone know how they feel about their own mother?
At best, she’d be an exception.
Oh I was thinking of guys that are just using the restroom and find all these MRA posters. If it were me and I saw this poster about ‘misandry bubbles’ before I knew what it was I would probably be like ‘mmmmm k’. And move on. My bad I didn’t clarify it very well at all lol
Yeaaaaaaah….no. Sperm banks are tightly self-regulated and have way too many checks and balances. They carefully validate donor identity along every step of the way. There are multiple in-person interviews, and any inconsistencies send up a red flag. You don’t just anonymously drop off a styrofoam cup and a form in the ATM deposit drawer.
More MRA #shitthatneverhappened. Do these guys ever post anything that isn’t a loser revenge fantasy?
Misandry bubbles, in the wiiiiiine…
Shorter Rollo Tomassi: My application at the sperm bank was rejected.
I’m picturing soap bubbles. Scented fucking soap bubbles.
Speaking of misandry, check out this stylish and useful tote: http://the-new-inquiry-store.myshopify.com/products/limited-edition-misandry-tote
Tried to look for misandry bubbles and found this instead
http://static.tumblr.com/d17cb85477be5c094b4f1a122deaa963/bmwlp9z/ydtmmch4c/tumblr_static_disney_ursula_misandry.gif
http://25.media.tumblr.com/d4430b8aeb1941e3029ec1d8324dcc94/tumblr_mua3bwlWKv1rl6c79o1_500.gif
Since people were bringing up funky animal mating habits upthread, I’ll just leave this here:
http://humoncomics.com/archive/animal-lives
(Pretty sure this is where y’all got them from in the first place. ;))
Hey, they’re gearing up for another false-accusation-a-thon over on r/mr!