So manosphere dudes have a theory of sorts about young women that they frequently boil down to the handy catchphrase “alpha fucks, beta bucks.” The idea is that women — oh, you evil women! — have an insatiable desire to mate with and capture the sperm of hot but unreliable alpha males, and an equally innate tendency to try to con some hard-working beta schlub into paying the bills, with his beta bucks, for the resulting alpha spawn.
There are a few problems with this theory. First of all, this DOESN’T HAPPEN. Ands second,it makes no fucking sense. Why would the invisible hand of evolution want to reward the genes of Alpha men with no interest in caring for their kids and punish the betas who (at least in the manosphere version of the world) actually keep those kids alive?
But I digress. Because one clever Manospherian commenter — recently featured in a post on Rollo Tomassi’s Rational Male blog — has discovered yet more proof of the evil alpha fucks-beta bucks theory in action: Sperm banks.
Let’s let him explain, because I sure can’t:
Let’s look at this abstractly. Man and woman marry, find that she isn’t getting pregnant, determine from medical testing that his swimmers aren’t winning the race. So they pay for another man to impregnate her, although via a medical go-between. The original sperm banks screened donors and pretty much limited them to med students and other college men.
This is “Alpha Sperm, Beta Provisioning”, and nothing less. Putting a tech or a doctor in the middle wearing gloves and a lab coat, and injecting semen with a syringe rather than the usual method doesn’t change that.
Uh, aren’t sperm banks a way for couples who want babies and can’t have babies themselves to have babies? The guy in this scenario has no way to pass on his genes. That’s not an option. He wants a baby, too.
Sperm banks are therefore a clinical version of AF-BB, and as such clearly serve the Female Imperative in the same manner as a married woman having an affair while she’s ovulating … .
Uh, BUT THE MAN WANTS THE BABY TOO. Men can love children who are not biologically theirs. Families adopt children. They love them too.
[T]he whole idea of a sperm bank is a clear, medicalized, fully legal example of the Female Imperative of AF-BB … today we all accept it because teh wimmenz deserve their own bay-bee if they want one (or more), no matter the cost to anyone else.
What cost? WHAT COST? THE MAN WANTS THE BABY TOO.
“Rollo Tomassi” adds some conspiracy theorizing to the mix:
On virtually any post I’ve made about feminism … one or more commenters invariably post the youtube video about how feminism was conceived to destabilize western society (by the Rockefellers?). …. the fact that sperm banks were an unheard of development prior to the sexual revolution does give me pause to think that they were a need anticipated to better facilitate and perpetuate a future feminine-primary society.
Yes, that’s right. Feminism + Sperm Banks x Rockefellers = MALE ENSLAVEMENT
Indeed, he points out, some of the women who go to sperm banks DON’T EVEN HAVE HUSBANDS.
Almost as if in anticipation for the unfettering of women’s hypergamy, the facility of insuring a woman’s best optimized hypergamy was institutionalized and normalized. This may sound like conjecture (since the socially proposed purpose was to facilitate pregnancy for an infertile man), but the utility of sperm banks quickly shifted to facilitating the pregnancy of women who wouldn’t be married or had no intention of marrying to start a family.
Unmarried women having sperm bank babies. Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!
This was the first institution, legalized and normalized that laid bare feminism latent purpose – strong independent women® could remove the man from the equation of effecting an optimal hypergamy, while at the same time effecting future legislation and social engineering to enlist men (either publicly or privately) in the provisioning of this new breed of motherhood. And with every guy dutifully jerking off into a petrie dish, they effectually contribute one more element to institutionalized Alpha Fucks / Beta Bucks.
And so a dude getting paid to masturbate into a cup — they don’t use petri dishes, dude — becomes yet another brick to the wall of the manosphere’s imagined oppression of men.
Petri dishes would lead to a lot of spills.
Does the sperm bank form have the question: Are you an alpha male? And if the guy answers “yes” he gets to donate, otherwise he gets to leave?
Or is there some type of “alpha male detector scanner” thing that activates when a man walks through the doors.
If alphas already have all the hot chicks then where do they find time to do all this donating? Couldn’t the beta males find the time while they’re waiting to get the has-been females?
All I have is questions!
Well that’s one giant WTF. Not understanding how women remove men from the equation entirely while simultaneously taking advantage of the “beta” men’s bucks.
I wonder what his thoughts are on egg donation and surrogacy.
I think Rolling Tosser believes that all these unmarried women having babies via sperm banks are then living the high life on welfare. Thus the betas bucks from taxes. Apparently, in Tosser-world, alphas don’t pay taxes. Obviously, women don’t pay taxes either because they’re all being kept by betas or living on welfare.
I’d have thought the MRAs would be all for sperm banks. If women can go get sperm from a bank, surely there’s less chance of them being spermjacked?
I always internally hear that “alpha f*cks beta bucks” stupidass quote in Daffy Duck’s voice.
I see. So single women never have their own jobs.
I admit that this one confuses me. If a woman (or any person with uterus) wants a baby, is able to conceive and goes to a sperm bank to do so, what cost is there to anyone else?
grumpycatisagirl, Nope…I’m rolling in deep in betas bucks.
Makes sense. Look at how often these PUA types complain about paying for dates and drinks. These are guys who buy into the idea that women want superstar looks, massive wealth and celebrity power, and are furious because they have none of this and it’s just SO UNFAIR.
(Too bad they don’t realize that people are also attracted to personality and attitude. I mean, they don’t have that, either, but at least it’s something they have a chance at fixing. If they could acknowledge that was the problem, that is.)
In their desperate fantasies, they want to be the suave Alphas whose mental tricks and Machiavellian wiles manage to fool hot women into bed. They want to be Masters of the Universe despite being on the bottom of the economic pyramid.
@grumpycatisagirl – or if a single woman does have a job, it’s not a real one, it’s just make-work 😉
Yeah, I was baffled at first by the apparent lack of betas to provide beta bucks until I realized that he was suggesting that BIG DADDY government was taking beta bucks in the form of taxes and giving them to the ladies and their alpha spawn, and that this was what he was getting at with all this:
Of course this assumes that women don’t have jobs and that all taxes are paid by beta males.
But it gave me a chance to use my “only men pay taxes apparently” tag.
Women all have phony government jobs, or they’re women’s studies professors, with their salaries subsidized by men working dangerous jobs.
titianblue , I just sit around all day eating bon bons and getting those betas checks…Cashin out!!
Are the guys “dutifully jerking off in petri dishes” alphas or betas? He seems to be vacillating between the two. Also, *they’re* the ones who get the bucks for doing so, no?
Is it just me or is there is a strong element of “how dare the women go to sperm banks instead of me being able to fuck them! Waaah!” ?
The picture accompanying this post is even more hilarious than the dudes you’re writing about. Which is really saying something, because these dudes are hilarious.
grumpycatisagirl, minor details…stick to the facts mans are being spermjack and enslaved. (Big on the sarcasm).
@titanblue
It’s not just you. Which is weird, cuz I bet the guys who complain about spermbanks share an overlap with the guys whining women will spermjack them…
(idk did that make any sense? My brain is fazzled today)
For a moment I thought Owly was involved in this, then remembered it wasn’t the Rockefellers he obsessed with, it was the Rothchilds (sic).
All that twaddle about the guy’s “swimmers not winning the race” – dude, it’s not his sperm being left behind by some other guy’s, it’s some form of infertility. Look it up.
Though I guess being infertile makes one a beta anyway, to these idiots.
Hang on – I know I only have female hamsterisations running my brain, but wouldn’t it be more logical that sperm banks are driven by the evolutionary imperatives of the alpha males? e.g. the male gets to spread his semen as widely as possible, across a range of women, with no risk to himself, because somebody else has to bring up baby. But anybody who goes to a sperm bank is probably going to be a good parent, because of the hurdles involved, so he’s planting his seed in high quality territory.
auggziliary, they are just good for their superior superm.
@justabrowngirl, assuming that was a typo, that is one of the most magnificent ones I have seen. 🙂
Sure, just like blood banks are a sign of the upcoming human enslavement by our vampire overlords.