So I get periodic visits here from hostile and uninformed visitors demanding to know just what I have against those Men’s Rights activist-adjacent fellows who have declared themselves to be Men Going Their Own Way. Surely, they sniff, I can’t be really opposed to men living the lives they choose to live, independent of women? Don’t feminists encourage women to be similarly independent? You go, girls, and all that?
As a fellow calling himself Praetorian wrote:
Why are women so bitter towards men going their own way, without them
“John,” meanwhile, thought he detected some hypocrisy:
So, if a woman says she does not need a man in her life, she is seen as a strong independent woman. If a man says he does not need a woman in his life, he is seen as someone who has a deep hostility towards and/or profound distrust of women.
How convenient and how logical…………….
Happpily, the commenters here always put these misguided souls straight: we don’t object , in principle, to men “going their own way,” if that’s what they want to do.
But in practice, the men who classify themselves as Men Going Their Own Way don’t go anywhere; they stick around and stink the place up with their raging misogyny.
If you go to MGTOWforums or any other popular MGTOW hangout, you’ll discover that the regulars there don’t spend much time talking about the fabulous lives they’re leading on their own — the things they’re learning, the hobbies they’re pursuing, the experiences they’re having.
Nope. They spend virtually all their time and energy taking about women, and how awful they are. The typical MGTOWer spends more time thinking about women on any given day than the president of Planned Parenthood does. And what they think about women is awful. Just go through my MGTOW posts here for example after example.
You want to see some men who are really going their own way? Watch the video at the top of this post. These are guys enjoying themselves and not giving a shit what anyone thinks. They are AWESOME.
That’s what Men Going Their Own Way should look like. And I’m not even joking.
NOTE: I think I’ve posted this video before. I don’t care. Some people might not have seen it. EVERYONE MUST SEE IT.
MY FAVORITE VIDEO OF ALL TIME.
Holy shit can those men dance. *impressed*
Auggz,
Bwahahahahahaaaa!
Based on your twitter sidebar, I half-expected Fleetwood Mac. But these guys are great to see again.
Seconded! XD
If the MnotreallyGTOW were like the guys in the video they’d have all the attention and companionship they want (and constantly deny they want). Because they’d be fun!
Reminds me of the story of the two monks who are from an order which bars them from interacting with women in any way, but also requires them to help those who need it. On a journey, they come to a river, where they find a woman with a small child trying to cross. She is unable to do so, because it is storming and the river is high. She begs the monks for help. One of them turns his back and starts to cross the river. He is shocked when his companion picks up the woman and child and carries them across the river. He puts them down on the opposite bank, accepts their thanks and goes on his way with the other monk. After they have traveled a while, the shocked monk says to the other “You carried that woman!” The other monk says to him, “Why are you still carrying her?” While there may be men who actually do go their own way and live happy lives without women, most of those who are on line seem unable to get on with their lives without women.
I am unmarried, and happy. I have friends both male and female, a career I enjoy (teaching), and a number of interests and hobbies. A woman going her own way? See, guys (ggtow)? It’s possible… (waves).
Bonelady,
I like that parable. It helps me remember to leave the past in the past whenever possible. You have a point about these guys never putting “the woman” down. Whatever their issue, it is clear that they want to worry with it like a dog with a bone rather than let it go and move on. Independence is wonderful and going your own way is a great idea. But that isn’t what these dudes are doing. They’re pretending to “Go Gault” and when no one notices or the world does not stop on a dime to offer them their wildest dreams if they’ll only come back, they get more angry and bitter. It’s like they keep going out and slamming the door, only to come back and say, “Look what you made me do!”, to all the people who aren’t concerned about them leaving. I don’t care what they do. I hope they love life going their own way. I just wish they’d get on with it and go already. Solitude can be joyous. When Walt Whitman writes about being alone in nature, you can tell that he’s almost euphoric. There are no such poems or essays coming from the MGTOW crowd. Maybe if they really had the courage of their convictions, that might change. After all, a little quiet self-reflection can do people a world of good.
If MGTOWs were really like that bunch of guys, I think I *would* feel badly about them not being around. Those guys look like they must be a hoot and a half to hang around with. And they are so clearly full of fun!
As it is, I think of MGTOWs as pretty much human dementors: they are so miserable that they try to suck the life out of everyone around them.
Yup. The issue with the MGTOW is a classic one for MRAs, generally (at least judging by the trolls they occasionally dispatch here)–they can never stick the flounce. I’ve got people I’ve left behind, because they were toxic elements in my life. I don’t sit around waiting for them to come crawling back to me; I honestly have no idea if they’re doing well or poorly, nor do I care. (In fact, in what was easily the worst case, she’s probably doing better without me–toxic relationships, unlike abusive ones, tend to be remarkably reciprocal after awhile.) That’s the whole point of leaving–you get to stop caring; the people you leave become nothing more than the background noise of generic humanity.
Exactly. It always makes me side-eye folks when they equate being a raging misogynist with having lives outside of romantic partnership. Uh, guys, one of these things is not like the other; can you seriously not see the massive douchery going down in your subculture?
And like Freemage, they never stick the flounce. Because they don’t actually WANT to go their own way. If they did, they’d just go ahead and do it, like the old guys in the video. Instead, they want to be enticed back, and that can be appealing in fiction, but in real life, it often gets quite tiring.
It’s like if somebody yelled at you randomly from the street “I’M NEVER MARRYING YOU NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY GOODBYE FOREVER” and you’re like “Okay… fine?” And you expect never to see them again, but then, much to your surprise, you find they’ve bought the property next door specifically so they can scream at you when you enter your own backyard. “YOU ARE HIDEOUS! YOU DESERVE MISERY AND PAIN! HOW DARE YOU THINK AND SPEAK AND LIVE IN MY PRESENCE?!” And when you ask them to stop hurling abuse at you, they say again that they have no interest in marrying you, as if that were somehow pertinent to the issue. “WHY ARE YOU SO MAD THAT I DON’T WANT TO MARRY YOU, YOU SOULLESS HUSK?!” It’s as if they believe marrying you or constantly invading your life to make it as unpleasant as possible are the only choices they have.
I long for the days when the Men’s Movement was about men going out in the woods, drumming and chanting, and running around naked.
Their behavior is just like the little kid who packs a bag dramatically and declares that he is running away because he was told no. The response is supposed to be much begging and apologizing so he stays. He gets mad when that doesn’t happen and keeps up the empty threat hoping it will bring about the desired result. It doesn’t work for a little kid and it sure won’t work for a grown-ass man. If you want to go, then go. We are not in a Dr. Seuss book. No one is going to give you a bunch of ways to leave until you make up your mind. If you don’t want to go, learn the social rules that help people get along instead of pouting about how the norms don’t work the way you want. Either way, do the work and quit complaining.
RE: theladyzombie
You and me both. Apparently Robert Bly was non-douchey? I think? So I’ve been told, anyway.
Yep, if that video above is what the MGTOWs could be, this one tends to represent what they are; stalk people relentlessly so that they can pitch a wobbly for the attention.
This video is amazing. 😀
And the song is also very catchy.
I can’t get wrap my head around this so call MGTOW mentality (it might be my head cold but in this case I don’t think so). I have been dealt pretty shitting hands in my short life time but I don’t dwell in it for too long, I dust myself off and keep it moving. Now I not saying not be angry or hurt…by all means cry it out, kick, scream, do what you have to do, but don’t stay there for too long, or you will never move pass it. I for one try to avoid at all cost people or things that I know I have a great adverse reaction to, and I definitely don’t go out of my way to humiliate, harassed or just be plain mean to them…that will be giving them too much power over you.
One of my favorite Mark Twain quotes really says it all. Never allow someone to be your priority, while allowing yourself to be their option.
The guy with the tilted baseball cap is wonderful, and watching him dance is just happy-making.
They also all dance far better than my random flailing! If more people (girls and guys and those who defy the culturally implemented gender binary) were like these guys in this video, the world would be so amazing…
… well, as long as we take some breaks from being awesome in order to make sure we get other important things done, like jobs, eating and drinking, and sleeping.
gillyrosebee, that is hilarious… the little boy/girl is…where did you go? Don’t you see me crying here? lmao.
My secret weakness is people shamelessly enjoying themselves on the Internet. So, in keeping with men shamelessly dancing, I introduce to you: Steve Kardynal! http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=InYvRyX2Fu4
Steve Kardynal is a blessing granted unto humanity. He has made 100 million people happy with his Wrecking Ball video alone. Most of us can’t say as much.
LBT, I love that guy…he is awesome. Have you seen peacock by Katy Perry parody by him?
I got through Christmas because of the linked video. And yes, justabrowngirl, I’ve seen his Peacock one. That’s why my husband likes the song; he pretty much aspires to be Steve Kardynal.
Maybe that’s why they hate single women over thirtysomething so much– “MGTOW” assume “spinsters” resent men like they do women.
This is not at all true IME– I think that by the time a woman reaches her late 20s or so without suitable “spousal” prospects on the horizon, she tends to figure out she needs more going on than in her life than a fixation on romantic relationships, and starts to enjoy the upsides to the life she actually has, instead of angrily pining for one that may never pan out. (Y’know, developing some maturity! Heaven forbid.)
(In general, I would say that of my heterosexual female peers, the married ones are way crankier about men than the longterm singles. ha Could be a lifestage thing, though– married people my age also tend to have little kids underfoot and that adds *lots* of extra stress and pressure to the picture!)
Anyway, no, MGTOWers do not generally sound like they have truly accepted and made peace with their lives at all.
A bit offtopic and somewhat old but I thought this article was really interesting; it’s written by a man named Kim who couldn’t get any callbacks for his sales/engineering job applications until he added Mr. to his CV, at which point he immediately landed calls for interviews and a job.
I remember at my last job watching my supervisor cull down a list of pretty diverse qualified apps into a final group that “just happened” to seem white and male going by their names. The one who got the job got it because “he’s funny! He likes Family Guy too!” Sigh… There was never a point where anyone clenched a cigar in their teeth and growled “throw out all the applications for women and minorities” and there was nothing concrete I could point to or take to the DOL, just a subtle lack of interest for resumes bearing certain names and certain clubs. Folks just deny it happens because it’s not blatant all the time anymore and blame minority groups for supposedly not applying, but hiring bias is so real. I only got hired there myself after being grilled about my childbearing plans (illegal btw) and later discovered I had more education, more experience, and much less pay than my supervisor (who as it turned out came in on the same round of interviews as me but got hired first as division head).