So I’ve been poking around the CreepyPM’s subreddit again — it’s a place where people, mostly women, post screenshots of the creepy private messages they’ve gotten from anonymous weirdos — and I ran across this doozy from Omegle, an online chat program that links up random strangers.
This bit of passive-aggressive, cut-and-paste pervery was one anonymous fellow’s opening conversational salvo. (Click on the pic to see a larger, more readable version.)
Now, I’m no psychiatrist, but as someone who’s suffered from depression, I’m pretty sure that guilt-tripping random women on the internet into sending you pictures of their BOOBZ isn’t going to actually help to cure this depression.
But the fact is, this guy isn’t actually suicidal. He’s just made that bit up in order to con women — and evidently some underage girls — into showing him their tits.
How do I know? Because. as a couple of the regulars in the CreepyPMs subreddit have pointed out, he’s done this before, apparently many times, with the same sob story about “having a really crap week (my grandma died).” So either he’s lost several dozen grandmothers in the past couple of years or he’s lying. I’m going to go with the latter explanation. Occam’s razor and all.
So congratulations, dude, you’ve managed to define a new low in shitty online pervery. From now on, people will forever measured by your yardstick. As in, “well, that’s guy’s pretty pervy, but he’s not quit as pervy as the guy who pretended to be suicidal on Omegle to get girls to show him their tits.”
Nobody should blame themselves for falling for an abuser’s lies. Abusers are good at lying, and manipulating people, and waiting until the victim feels bonded to them to ratchet up the manipulation.
The most infuriating thing about the mess in the OP is that if the girls who’re being targeted fall for the lies and give the creep what he wants, they’ll be blamed, because why didn’t they know better? But if they ever, even once, fail to respond with concern and willingness to go along with the abuser’s attempts to manipulate them, and he does end up doing something to hurt himself, if will be all their fault, because they should have known that this time he meant it.
[Content note: abuse, extremely graphic descriptions of violence]
No one has ever abused me through suicide threats, but my dad has threatened me several times with death, physical abuse, emotional abuse, and withdrawal of support (e.g. kicking me out of the house).
One time he even attempted to manipulate me into calling my mom, my step-dad, and my older siblings’ partners and personally warning them that my dad is about to murder all of them. And he described his plans in a very graphic manner, emphasizing some details like “I’ll grab a handgun, and blow their brains out.”
I can never forget his face when he told me to do that. I could tell that he was seriously considering a mass shooting. His demeanor was unmistakably murderous, and he got so angry that he broke his phone into pieces by throwing it against the car dashboard (yes, he was driving, too). Even though he wasn’t angry at me, I felt like my life was in danger and I became so terrified that I ended up calling my older siblings and my uncle for help. Later on he backed off on his threat, luckily.
And on an occasion before that, my dad left a message on our home phone when he was on his way here (flying from Dubai to Colorado) and in it threatened to murder my mom, my older siblings and me, and save my mom for last so he could mutilate her fingers and watch her struggle to pick up the phone to dial 911.
Fuck, this conversation is triggering the hell out of me now. Things like this are why I hate it when I hear anyone say that he’s a “nice, caring father” in order to discourage me from condemning him. My mom still blames herself and still suffers from emotional issues because of that marriage to him. He’s done damage and that needs to be known.
cassandrakitty, I know I internalized and excuse his abusive behavior to the point that I blame myself (it must be something I’m doing). And he will reinforce it with his favorite line (see what you made me do). It took me a long time to get where I’m at now and I will never let myself be in that position ever again.
FFS, I still hear family members who have been abused by him downplay the severity of his abuse merely because of his “high blood pressure/sugar problem” (even though he is very much capable of controlling his anger), his withdrawal from nicotine, and his “overprotectiveness.” They never even consider the possibility (and, as I believe, reality) that he behaved that way because he’s an asshole who tries to get his way through abusing others.
Sorry Ally, no one should go through that.
If we ever do create something about abuse for the Borg then that line should be included as the biggest red flag out there. “See what you made me do”? No. Nobody makes anyone else abuse them.
[Content note: physical abuse]
Exactly what my dad says after almost every time he physically assaults me. In his view, I’m always deserving of his headlocks, slaps and nail marks on my face, boundary invasions (e.g. not letting me move freely and blocking my path), extremely painful ear-pullings, and actual bites on my arms and legs. I’m always seen as the one responsible for making his blood pressure high or upsetting him by refusing to obey him all the time, no matter what I say or do.
Abuse is such a vicious cycle…I’m hard on myself because I should had notice the red flags due to growing up with an abusive dad. But I look back now and the constant emotional, verbal and physical abuse in my home was the norm to me.
@justabrowngirl
[Content note: abuse]
My mom also had to get a restraining order on my dad, after he threatened all of us with murder. Eventually she divorced him because he became very invasive, stalker-ish, and one time he even snuck into our house. It was terrifying, and while our circumstances weren’t exactly the same I can imagine how difficult it must have been. I’m happy to hear you and your kids are safe now.
Brain bleach: cats proving there’s no such thing as “uncomfortable” for them.
http://youtu.be/8abNtjTYShk
Thanks kittehserf, I will dream of kitties…nite.
Niters, justabrowngirl!
Much needed brain bleach. Thanks, kitteh. ^_^ I was seriously feeling triggered again.
And goodnight, justabrowngirl!
And some humour:
You’re welcome, Ally – kitty power to the rescue!
Ally — I’ve dealt with the whole “people trying to sympathize with my abuser” shit… TRIGGER WARNING. My father would make horrible misogynist comments all the time, always point out that women were inferior, and whenever we passed the tampons/pads area of a supermarket he would point and snicker, “Need any of those?” He constantly made me feel unclean, saying guys don’t have to wash their hands after toilet because they don’t “pee all over them” like girls (I was identified female at the time, though now I am transitioning…) … And anyone I told this to would say “Oh, he’s just being a guy. He’s pretty nice. Be grateful he gives you an allowance/takes you on cruises/etc.” (I was very priveldged, and both my father and his defenders would always bring out the “But you’re so well off!” card.)
I’m so sorry for what you went through, Ally… I try not to think about things like that because it makes me hate men… And I really don’t want to, as my partner is a wonderful man whom I love dearly.
Argh! See, this is why I hate using shared computers and other things that multiple strangers might have touched. You never know how many of them might be from the “nope, don’t need to wash my hands” school of dumbass thought.
BRAIN BLEACH IN THE FORM OF A CUTTLEFISH:
Hugs for anyone who needs one. From me or from kittens.
@cassandra, I don’t even like touching elevator buttons and pedestrian crossing buttons. I would rather wear gloves or mittens. I also won’t put my bag on the floor in the train, for the same reason I loathe people wearing shoes inside and putting shoed feet up onto furniture.
Re men not washing their hands after urinating, ugh. Although, I do wish more toilets would either have water that starts automatically when one puts one’s hands under the tap, or have handles that you hit with your elbows.
Re negative male attitudes to menstruation sanitary products, that seems to be the level of small children saying “poo” and laughing. Mr Kiwi does the shopping and picks up what I need. 🙂
@Justabrowngirl
Glad to hear you got away from your abuser. Sorry to hear that happened to you though 🙁
@Ally
Wow your dad sounds horrible 🙁 All the internet hugs from me you want.
and adding to the brain bleach pile.
re: washing hands
I didn’t know that was something some dudes didn’t do. :/ (okay, some obviously, cuz some of everyone, but I didn’t know ‘guys don’t need to wash their hands’ was a thing.)
It’s not just dudes. I used to work with a woman who only washed her hands if she pooped, with peeing she didn’t because of the “but I don’t pee on my hands” logic. I tried pointing out that you touch all the same things when peeing as when pooping (underwear, toilet paper, and so on), and so does everyone else, but she wasn’t having it.
Every time she offered me food or wanted a bit of my food after that I was freaking out internally while trying to conceal that reaction so as not to hurt her feelings. Normally I like sharing food with people but ew, no.
“Sexy sexy udders! Maybe we could put together some appropriate response pics on the Borg as a public resource.”
Email me and I will make it happen!
As for doing red flags as a Borg feature, I am entirely in favor of this, anyone who wants to write something should clicky my nym and drop me a line via the contact form.
http://www.duskyswondersite.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/blue-footed-booby-two.jpg
This is a good picture to give to any such request.