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Omegle perv: Send me BEWBZ or I might just have to kill myself

So I’ve been poking around the CreepyPM’s subreddit again — it’s a place where people, mostly women, post screenshots of the creepy private messages they’ve gotten from anonymous weirdos — and I ran across this doozy from Omegle, an online chat program that links up random strangers.

This bit of passive-aggressive, cut-and-paste pervery was one anonymous fellow’s opening conversational salvo. (Click on the pic to see a larger, more readable version.)

Hey - ASKING FOR BOOBZ DOES NOT MAKE ME A FUCKING PERV! Im just having a really crap week (my grandma died) and I want a girl to be adventurous and sweet enough to show me her boobz. I DON'T want a slut, and I'm NOT horny, I just want a girl who is cool enough to try that and make me feel happier - its the effort thats important. Plus girls say I'm cute and I have abs. So DON'T add me if you won't send it! And im feeling really suicidal, so being a bitch will only make things worse :( - Im 18 Male from London, and here's my kik:

Now, I’m no psychiatrist, but as someone who’s suffered from depression, I’m pretty sure that guilt-tripping random women on the internet into sending you pictures of their BOOBZ isn’t going to actually help to cure this depression.

But the fact is, this guy isn’t actually suicidal. He’s just made that bit up in order to con women — and evidently some underage girls — into showing him their tits.

How do I know? Because. as a couple of the regulars in the CreepyPMs subreddit have pointed out, he’s done this before, apparently many times, with the same sob story about “having a really crap week (my grandma died).” So either he’s lost several dozen grandmothers in the past couple of years or he’s lying. I’m going to go with the latter explanation. Occam’s razor and all.

So congratulations, dude, you’ve managed to define a new low in shitty online pervery. From now on, people will forever measured by your yardstick. As in, “well, that’s guy’s pretty pervy, but he’s not quit as pervy as the guy who pretended to be suicidal on Omegle to get girls to show him their tits.”

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cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

Nobody should blame themselves for falling for an abuser’s lies. Abusers are good at lying, and manipulating people, and waiting until the victim feels bonded to them to ratchet up the manipulation.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

The most infuriating thing about the mess in the OP is that if the girls who’re being targeted fall for the lies and give the creep what he wants, they’ll be blamed, because why didn’t they know better? But if they ever, even once, fail to respond with concern and willingness to go along with the abuser’s attempts to manipulate them, and he does end up doing something to hurt himself, if will be all their fault, because they should have known that this time he meant it.

Ally S
7 years ago

[Content note: abuse, extremely graphic descriptions of violence]

No one has ever abused me through suicide threats, but my dad has threatened me several times with death, physical abuse, emotional abuse, and withdrawal of support (e.g. kicking me out of the house).

One time he even attempted to manipulate me into calling my mom, my step-dad, and my older siblings’ partners and personally warning them that my dad is about to murder all of them. And he described his plans in a very graphic manner, emphasizing some details like “I’ll grab a handgun, and blow their brains out.”

I can never forget his face when he told me to do that. I could tell that he was seriously considering a mass shooting. His demeanor was unmistakably murderous, and he got so angry that he broke his phone into pieces by throwing it against the car dashboard (yes, he was driving, too). Even though he wasn’t angry at me, I felt like my life was in danger and I became so terrified that I ended up calling my older siblings and my uncle for help. Later on he backed off on his threat, luckily.

And on an occasion before that, my dad left a message on our home phone when he was on his way here (flying from Dubai to Colorado) and in it threatened to murder my mom, my older siblings and me, and save my mom for last so he could mutilate her fingers and watch her struggle to pick up the phone to dial 911.

Fuck, this conversation is triggering the hell out of me now. Things like this are why I hate it when I hear anyone say that he’s a “nice, caring father” in order to discourage me from condemning him. My mom still blames herself and still suffers from emotional issues because of that marriage to him. He’s done damage and that needs to be known.

justabrowngirl
justabrowngirl
7 years ago

cassandrakitty, I know I internalized and excuse his abusive behavior to the point that I blame myself (it must be something I’m doing). And he will reinforce it with his favorite line (see what you made me do). It took me a long time to get where I’m at now and I will never let myself be in that position ever again.

Ally S
7 years ago

FFS, I still hear family members who have been abused by him downplay the severity of his abuse merely because of his “high blood pressure/sugar problem” (even though he is very much capable of controlling his anger), his withdrawal from nicotine, and his “overprotectiveness.” They never even consider the possibility (and, as I believe, reality) that he behaved that way because he’s an asshole who tries to get his way through abusing others.

justabrowngirl
justabrowngirl
7 years ago

Sorry Ally, no one should go through that.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

If we ever do create something about abuse for the Borg then that line should be included as the biggest red flag out there. “See what you made me do”? No. Nobody makes anyone else abuse them.

Ally S
7 years ago

[Content note: physical abuse]

“See what you made me do”?

Exactly what my dad says after almost every time he physically assaults me. In his view, I’m always deserving of his headlocks, slaps and nail marks on my face, boundary invasions (e.g. not letting me move freely and blocking my path), extremely painful ear-pullings, and actual bites on my arms and legs. I’m always seen as the one responsible for making his blood pressure high or upsetting him by refusing to obey him all the time, no matter what I say or do.

justabrowngirl
justabrowngirl
7 years ago

Abuse is such a vicious cycle…I’m hard on myself because I should had notice the red flags due to growing up with an abusive dad. But I look back now and the constant emotional, verbal and physical abuse in my home was the norm to me.

Ally S
7 years ago

@justabrowngirl

[Content note: abuse]

My mom also had to get a restraining order on my dad, after he threatened all of us with murder. Eventually she divorced him because he became very invasive, stalker-ish, and one time he even snuck into our house. It was terrifying, and while our circumstances weren’t exactly the same I can imagine how difficult it must have been. I’m happy to hear you and your kids are safe now.

kittehserf
7 years ago

Brain bleach: cats proving there’s no such thing as “uncomfortable” for them.

http://youtu.be/8abNtjTYShk

justabrowngirl
justabrowngirl
7 years ago

Thanks kittehserf, I will dream of kitties…nite.

kittehserf
7 years ago

Niters, justabrowngirl!

Ally S
7 years ago

Much needed brain bleach. Thanks, kitteh. ^_^ I was seriously feeling triggered again.

And goodnight, justabrowngirl!

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
7 years ago

And some humour:

kittehserf
7 years ago

You’re welcome, Ally – kitty power to the rescue!

leocigale
leocigale
7 years ago

Ally — I’ve dealt with the whole “people trying to sympathize with my abuser” shit… TRIGGER WARNING. My father would make horrible misogynist comments all the time, always point out that women were inferior, and whenever we passed the tampons/pads area of a supermarket he would point and snicker, “Need any of those?” He constantly made me feel unclean, saying guys don’t have to wash their hands after toilet because they don’t “pee all over them” like girls (I was identified female at the time, though now I am transitioning…) … And anyone I told this to would say “Oh, he’s just being a guy. He’s pretty nice. Be grateful he gives you an allowance/takes you on cruises/etc.” (I was very priveldged, and both my father and his defenders would always bring out the “But you’re so well off!” card.)

I’m so sorry for what you went through, Ally… I try not to think about things like that because it makes me hate men… And I really don’t want to, as my partner is a wonderful man whom I love dearly.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

He constantly made me feel unclean, saying guys don’t have to wash their hands after toilet because they don’t “pee all over them” like girls

Argh! See, this is why I hate using shared computers and other things that multiple strangers might have touched. You never know how many of them might be from the “nope, don’t need to wash my hands” school of dumbass thought.

leocigale
leocigale
7 years ago

BRAIN BLEACH IN THE FORM OF A CUTTLEFISH:

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
7 years ago

@cassandra, I don’t even like touching elevator buttons and pedestrian crossing buttons. I would rather wear gloves or mittens. I also won’t put my bag on the floor in the train, for the same reason I loathe people wearing shoes inside and putting shoed feet up onto furniture.

Re men not washing their hands after urinating, ugh. Although, I do wish more toilets would either have water that starts automatically when one puts one’s hands under the tap, or have handles that you hit with your elbows.

Re negative male attitudes to menstruation sanitary products, that seems to be the level of small children saying “poo” and laughing. Mr Kiwi does the shopping and picks up what I need. 🙂

Marie
Marie
7 years ago

@Justabrowngirl

Glad to hear you got away from your abuser. Sorry to hear that happened to you though 🙁

@Ally

Wow your dad sounds horrible 🙁 All the internet hugs from me you want.

and adding to the brain bleach pile.

re: washing hands

I didn’t know that was something some dudes didn’t do. :/ (okay, some obviously, cuz some of everyone, but I didn’t know ‘guys don’t need to wash their hands’ was a thing.)

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

It’s not just dudes. I used to work with a woman who only washed her hands if she pooped, with peeing she didn’t because of the “but I don’t pee on my hands” logic. I tried pointing out that you touch all the same things when peeing as when pooping (underwear, toilet paper, and so on), and so does everyone else, but she wasn’t having it.

Every time she offered me food or wanted a bit of my food after that I was freaking out internally while trying to conceal that reaction so as not to hurt her feelings. Normally I like sharing food with people but ew, no.

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

“Sexy sexy udders! Maybe we could put together some appropriate response pics on the Borg as a public resource.”

Email me and I will make it happen!

As for doing red flags as a Borg feature, I am entirely in favor of this, anyone who wants to write something should clicky my nym and drop me a line via the contact form.

Samantha Vimes
7 years ago
Chie Satonaka
Chie Satonaka
7 years ago

Washing your hands also limits your exposure to everything else that you’ve touched in a communal space (whether it’s your home or work or the public sphere). We’re talking diseases like the flu, which decimated my office this winter. And bathrooms are filled with tiny bits of fecal matter floating around in the air. If you can smell poo when you walk in the door, you’re walking through the bits. Not only do I scrub the hell out of my hands every time, but I do not touch anything after that. I use my elbow to shut off the water and my foot to open the bathroom door.

It’s not just what you touch, but what everyone else has touched. Why don’t people get that?

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Samantha Vimes — gorgeous boobies you’ve got there!

10knives
10knives
7 years ago

You know, I wonder just where exactly the term “boobs” actually comes from.

I mean, I look at some of them and…yeah, “tits” comes from teats, a part of a farming animal. But how you did get a “oobs” sound from a corruption of “reasts”?

And the breasts don’t resemble anything that has a name that sounds like “boobs”…

Kim
Kim
7 years ago

@10knives
from etymonline.com – which has so many answers to these kinds of questions.

boobs (n.)
“breasts,” 1929, U.S. slang, probably from much older term boobies (late 17c.), related to 17c. bubby; perhaps ultimately from Latin puppa, figuratively “little girl,” hence, in child-talk, “breast.” Or else it is a natural formation in English (cf. French poupe “teat,” German dialectal Bubbi, etc.)

So, sounds like, as with a lot of english words, it came to us via several other languages.

10knives
10knives
7 years ago

Thank you, Kim.

shayla
shayla
7 years ago

Hugs for anyone who wants them; like auggziliary said no one deserves that treatment and it wasn’t right you had to go through that.

@auggziliary, What kind of phone service does your roommate have? I think most cell providers and some landline providers offer call blocking for free, at this point he doesn’t get the right to disrupt your lives with his calls.

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

Thinking about this some more, what I have seen is that where the girl has gone through with the abusive pictures, *she* is the one that becomes actually suicidal. So the whole “do this or else” is even worse, morally, than “simply” manipulating a female into providing pornographic/semi-pornographic pictures.

On this, has anyone got an example where a male has attempted suicide after sending dick pics? I’m trying to work out whether this has occurred for males as all the examples I can think of are female.

^^^^ ZOMG THIS.

Amanda Todd. Does she have a male equivalent, some guy who killed himself because a manipulative power-tripping woman demanded dickpix or else? And who harassed and blackmailed the shit out of him after he caved in? Or is that just something that happens to girls, with older guys? Because I’m trying to think of a single instance where this happened to a boy, and I’m drawing a blank. One would think such a thing would have made the news, if it happened, because it is just so egregious.

And to think the MRAsshats think guys have it so rough. Because an underage girl won’t flash her boobs at some predatory voyeur who isn’t content to look up a Tumblr or something if all he wants is a wank, and who insists on a special show instead so he can have himself a real power trip. “Dead Grandma” excuse be damned…wanking was always the furthest thing from my mind when I lost a grandparent. The only thing on my mind then was grief. But a young girl who’s never lost a loved one isn’t going to realize that. And she won’t realize that truly suicidal people don’t go demanding boobie-flashes, either. That’s what makes this whole shit-show so truly filthy.

I’ll bet this Omegle troll is one of those “cappers”, like the ones who drove Amanda Todd to suicide. The police should be put onto him before it happens again.

Hugs to all who need ’em. Positive vibes to Auggz’s roomie, too…

historophilia
historophilia
7 years ago

TW: Sexual assault

Adding to the tales of woe, I’ve had suicide threats used against me as well, by the guy who sexually assaulted me. In fact he did it twice.

First of all when I cut called him out and then cut contact with him due to unrelated bad behaviour (namely mocking and being disrespectful of my family), he made a post about it on a social media site where he knew I would likely see it, making references to bridges and lakes. I knew this was a suicide threat because he had told me about his suicidal thoughts before, and they always involved jumped off bridges into lakes.

Then when I started to speak up about his sexual assault of me, he did it again, on the same social networking site, this time more explicitly, but still with references to bridges and lakes.

Unfortunately he deleted his account on the site and I didn’t keep records of the threats, but several people saw them and could confirm if it was ever needed.

It’s despicable behaviour to threaten suicide in an attempt to control or silence people, and for a while it did make me feel really guilty for calling him out and speaking up, which was what he wanted.

As soon as I made it clear that I was not going to shut up and started getting him removed from spaces full of vulnerable people the suicide threats stopped. He only used them when he thought he could make me feel guilty and keep me quiet, as soon as they became useless he stopped. And that tells you everything you need to know.

sparky
sparky
7 years ago

Well, this is just so infuriating on so many levels.

Instead, this cat is awesome:


http://pinkbluelovescute.com/2012/11/gif-cat-pops-head-out-of-couch/

franticcaps
franticcaps
7 years ago

On this, has anyone got an example where a male has attempted suicide after sending dick pics? I’m trying to work out whether this has occurred for males as all the examples I can think of are female.

CONTENT NOTE: Bullying, suicide, sexual predation/exploitation

There was a case in Fife (Scotland) last year where a teenage boy killed himself after being blackmailed with footage he’d provided thinking he was talking to a girl his own age. I’m not sure if the identity of the predator was ever confirmed. You can read a (pretty vague but nevertheless deeply distressing) BBC news report on it here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-23712000

And here is some brain bleach:

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
7 years ago

That’s why we ‘Muricans hoard all of the FREEDOM and LIBERTY. Can’t really go out and give it to just anyone now, can we?

Wait, I thought we were giving it away to other countries, whether they wanted it or not?

Had I not been lucky enough to get my ass to MA and safely insured, I would’ve been DEAD.

God bless Romneycare, for real. The only plan I’ve ever had that was better, public or private, was Vermont’s state health care. I love the economic and entertainment opportunities available in Boston, but in terms of politics and progressive values, I really miss living in Vermont.

@Shayla, I have had excellent luck with Blue Cross by calling and talking to someone in person.

@Unimaginative, ugh, don’t even get me started on dental. I’ve needed braces since I was a kid; I’ve already had to have one gum graft (with more in my future) because my teeth are so crooked they’re being pushed out the front and back of my gums. But there’s no such thing as dental medicaid unless you’re dirt poor (even unemployed and injured, I didn’t qualify), and nothing that’s available through my employer covers braces. Dentistry is still considered purely cosmetic in this country.

Tim
Tim
7 years ago

You are so embarrassing. You deserve to be a perma-virgin.

I bet you think that the nonsense that you’re spouting here is going to win you accolades among the women folk.
It won’t.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: Marie

That fucking sucks 🙁 I hope you manage to keep your disability benefits.

It should be okay. It’s just extra trouble for me and aggravation. I swear, people seem to have the NWO idea that disabled people just cry in the street and get things.

RE: emilygoddess

The only plan I’ve ever had that was better, public or private, was Vermont’s state health care.

Man, much envy. I considered moving to Vermont, but I didn’t know anybody there, and unfortunately, these days I can’t just uproot and go somewhere without people who know what’s going on with me. God willing, I’ll manage to squeeze the damn Ohio government into giving me my legal healthcare. *eyeroll*

RE: suicide threats [obvious WARNINGS]

Rapist never tried that one on me, though he DID try the whole, “Without you, I’ll lose my job and not be able to keep my life together because I NEED YOU!” Seriously, dude was fucking twenty-one and he needed a sixteen-year-old kid to be the goddamn adult in the relationship. He sobbed like a child when I cut him off, and his tears were like delicious candy to me. Seeing how the cops couldn’t do anything, and nobody around us did anything, it was my sole consolation. Maybe I was helpless to get him charged or arrested or even get him socially shunned, but I made that fucker CRY!

I DID have the suicide shit pulled on me with a close friend, though. They had been suffering suicidal depression for a while, and I tried to run support, and I failed. I failed HARD. They later called me up furious, telling me that the only reason they didn’t jump in front of a bus because of me was because the bus was late. That fucked my head up for a while, and I actually pretty much retired from a lot of the Internet for a year or two just because I was terrified that I would kill someone by accident out of sheer stupidity. (It didn’t help that we had a lot of mutual friends.) Last I heard, they were still furious and terrified of me; if you’d like the longer story, you can just Google ‘baaing-tree’ and ‘suicide.’

Oddly, it was actually my big crash of 2012 that helped me move on from that. I was dissociative and suicidal, and I realized in one of those bolt-of-lightning moments that dear god, had I SUCCEEDED in jumping, it would have been none of my friends’ faults. NOTHING they would’ve said, however stupid, would’ve made me jump, because however garbled the message would’ve been, however crazy I was, I understood that they were my friends and didn’t want me to die. I was sick and crazy, but I KNEW this, in my heart of hearts, and I was able to recognize that even if they HAD said something absolutely horrible to me, it would’ve been just a drop in the ocean that was my sickness at the time. Maybe it would’ve been a straw breaking the camel’s back deal, but still, that wouldn’t have been why I jumped.

Now, I can just be happy that I’m far away from this ex-friend, and that I’m more emotionally distant from the mutual friends we had, and that I have a larger, more variegated support network so there’s less crossfire.

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

I’ve gotten a Borg email requesting we do not just obvious red flags but commentary on why posts like the ones from MEZ the other day are NOT helpful. Anyone interested should clicky my nym and email me via the constant form.

To the person who emailed me, I figure I should make my approval of your idea public, cuz I love it 🙂

drst
drst
7 years ago

That whole power trip thing is what causes creepshots too. There’s a vast internet full of naked people in porn, but these assholes take up-the-skirt pictures and post them specifically because they enjoy violating the woman’s privacy and her rights by exposing her.

In other news, bulldogs also do not grasp the concept of “uncomfy spots to sleep”: http://fyeahenglishbulldogs.tumblr.com/post/75185866038

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

MEZ? What did I miss, Argenti?

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

That whole power trip thing is what causes creepshots too. There’s a vast internet full of naked people in porn, but these assholes take up-the-skirt pictures and post them specifically because they enjoy violating the woman’s privacy and her rights by exposing her.

Bingo. They don’t really care what’s up anyone’s skirt; they get off on the idea that they are violating her right to be left alone. Making (or rather, KEEPING) the world unsafe for women and girls is their life’s goal, it seems.

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

You are so embarrassing. You deserve to be a perma-virgin.

I bet you think that the nonsense that you’re spouting here is going to win you accolades among the women folk.
It won’t.

That’s where you’re wrong, me boyo. David’s doing us a great service by saving us having to wade through reams of toxic twaddle from guys who REALLY deserve to be perma-virgins such as yourself. And making us chuckle along the way, too.

deniseeliza
deniseeliza
7 years ago

You are so embarrassing. You deserve to be a perma-virgin.

Isn’t virgin-shaming misandry?

shayla
shayla
7 years ago

Geez, it’s so depressing when someone thinks the only reason a man would care about women/a woman is that he’s trying to get access to their/her pants. MRAs are the biggest man haters I’ve ever met.

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

Isn’t virgin-shaming misandry?

Only when women do it. To “incels”. Whom they taunt with their bodies that they refuse to hand over.

Marie
Marie
7 years ago

@historophilia and David

Sorry to hear you two have both had to deal with ex’s threatening suicide. Internet hugs from me, if either of you want them.

@emilygoddess

@Unimaginative, ugh, don’t even get me started on dental. I’ve needed braces since I was a kid; I’ve already had to have one gum graft (with more in my future) because my teeth are so crooked they’re being pushed out the front and back of my gums. But there’s no such thing as dental medicaid unless you’re dirt poor (even unemployed and injured, I didn’t qualify), and nothing that’s available through my employer covers braces. Dentistry is still considered purely cosmetic in this country.

Wow. Didn’t know it was considered just cosmetic 🙁

@LBT

It should be okay. It’s just extra trouble for me and aggravation. I swear, people seem to have the NWO idea that disabled people just cry in the street and get things.

That’s good news. Still sucks that you’ve got to go through the trouble though.

Glad to hear you got away from your ex-friend. Internet hugs from me, if you want them, too.

@auggz

Also I’ve never heard an MRA tell someone they “deserve” to be virgin. That’s a new one.

Yeah, it’s like being a virgin is some horrible fate? mra’s are confusing.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: Tim

Tim, I’m a gay man. Why on earth would I be a feminist to get into a woman’s pants? Don’t you think that’s kinda absurd?

Then again, if I absolutely had to have sex with SOMEONE on this site, I’d choose one of the women over you.