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Omegle perv: Send me BEWBZ or I might just have to kill myself

So I’ve been poking around the CreepyPM’s subreddit again — it’s a place where people, mostly women, post screenshots of the creepy private messages they’ve gotten from anonymous weirdos — and I ran across this doozy from Omegle, an online chat program that links up random strangers.

This bit of passive-aggressive, cut-and-paste pervery was one anonymous fellow’s opening conversational salvo. (Click on the pic to see a larger, more readable version.)

Hey - ASKING FOR BOOBZ DOES NOT MAKE ME A FUCKING PERV! Im just having a really crap week (my grandma died) and I want a girl to be adventurous and sweet enough to show me her boobz. I DON'T want a slut, and I'm NOT horny, I just want a girl who is cool enough to try that and make me feel happier - its the effort thats important. Plus girls say I'm cute and I have abs. So DON'T add me if you won't send it! And im feeling really suicidal, so being a bitch will only make things worse :( - Im 18 Male from London, and here's my kik:

Now, I’m no psychiatrist, but as someone who’s suffered from depression, I’m pretty sure that guilt-tripping random women on the internet into sending you pictures of their BOOBZ isn’t going to actually help to cure this depression.

But the fact is, this guy isn’t actually suicidal. He’s just made that bit up in order to con women — and evidently some underage girls — into showing him their tits.

How do I know? Because. as a couple of the regulars in the CreepyPMs subreddit have pointed out, he’s done this before, apparently many times, with the same sob story about “having a really crap week (my grandma died).” So either he’s lost several dozen grandmothers in the past couple of years or he’s lying. I’m going to go with the latter explanation. Occam’s razor and all.

So congratulations, dude, you’ve managed to define a new low in shitty online pervery. From now on, people will forever measured by your yardstick. As in, “well, that’s guy’s pretty pervy, but he’s not quit as pervy as the guy who pretended to be suicidal on Omegle to get girls to show him their tits.”

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bodycrimes
7 years ago

Isn’t it funny how much these guys hate the label ‘creep’ and yet they will insist on doing such creepy things?

HeatherN
7 years ago

As if folks with mental health issues didn’t have a hard enough time getting people to believe them…

SredniVashtar
SredniVashtar
7 years ago

Note that our creepy friend here is careful to stipulate that he ‘DOESN’T want a slut’. What can he possibly have in mind when he says that? Obviously I don’t think the word ‘slut’ applies, any more than in the most sex-positive neutral sense of the term, to anyone who does happen like to show consenting men on the internet their boobz (not to be confused with the work of Boobz, M). But I honestly don’t know what this guy means by ‘slut’, if not ‘woman who does sexually adventurous things that society disapproves of’, which obviously includes Omegle sex-chatting. How can he manage NOT to see that the term ‘slut’ just fails to refer, when he uses it in that context?

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
7 years ago

If only the men sending unwanted dick pics would target this guy who is asking for boob pics. I don’t think the universe will explode if that happens.

katz
7 years ago

I’m assuming “you both like books” was a typo.

kittehserf
7 years ago

Sredni – in the link David provided, this creeper said to one person he’s “happy getting boob pics from innocent 14 year old girls”. So there’s your answer about who’s a not-slut: a child.

Kiwi girl – if only one could automatically forward messages with particular content to that user, like forwarding phone calls! The world wouldn’t explode but with a bit of luck the two sets of creeps would have an assplosion.

SredniVashtar
SredniVashtar
7 years ago

kittehserf – Ew ew ew how perfectly vomitous. You’re right of course, he’ll take one fresh out of the box over one of those used-up slutty damaged-goods adults who are capable of giving consent. It is enough to put me off my Eccles cake. (Actually it is not quite enough – not because it is not super gross to the max, but because nothing could put me off my Eccles cake – it is delicious).

Edward White
7 years ago

How about sending him pictures of the Three Stooges?

kittehserf
7 years ago

Eccles cake, I’ve never had that, though I know the name (I grew up listening to the Goon Show, so Eccles – well!). I don’t know if it’s even available in Oz.

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

Slut = adult who would take pleasure in the idea that some stranger is looking at her boobs? Only he is allowed to enjoy this! Or maybe slut = adult who would show her boobs to other people in other contexts, because that means he hasn’t won in the imaginary boob-viewing race he thinks he is in with all other men who like women?

SredniVashtar
SredniVashtar
7 years ago

Aaah you’re missing out – well not really, since you get to live in Australia which on balance must be pretty great. An Eccles cake is solely an English thing I think – a delicious flaky fellow with an inside of densely-packed raisiny stuff. I’m working on an essay, looks like it’s going to be an all-nighter so I’m chaining sugar-based snacks. And commenting on Manboobz…

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

My stepdad loved Eccles cakes when I was growing up, so I’ve had a few, but I suspect Canadian supermarket Eccles cake is pretty different than the original English version.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

Ewwww.

EWWWWWWWWWW.

I am doing this face right now. Seriously, dude. The fuck is wrong with you? Thanks for making shit even harder for loonies like me to be taken seriously because of you.

Someone ought to introduce him to buttboy69. They can go have fun together. Have a Boston marriage and leave the rest of us out of it.

kittehserf
7 years ago

Living in Australia’s good on balance, especially when I read about the shit USians have to put up with, f’rinst. But we’ve a really nasty right-wing government in since last year, who are busy breaking international laws about refugees, playing with introducing a two-tier medical system, trying to undermine the two non-right-wing broadcasters and putting thousands of people out of work by refusing to go on subsidising manufacturers here.

Plus summer’s feckin awful.

I wanna be in England where there’s So Much History I love. Even though you do have Cameron and all who’re total douchecanoes as well.

kittehserf
7 years ago

Heh – LBT, d’you reckon if Kratos got hold of Mr BEWBZ creep, it’d look like the last panel in the first comic?

http://coelasquid.deviantart.com/art/Manly-Guys-01-156946085

pecunium
7 years ago
pecunium
7 years ago

Re eccles cakes: They are yummy, and one of the theatrical groups I belonged to (16th century recreational improv/street theater) referred to bad staging as an Eccles Cake (all the best bits are on the inside).

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
7 years ago

So, on hearing the news that his grandma died, this guy’s first thought was, “I need to see boobs, pronto.” Right.

I guess there IS a shortage of them on the internet…

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

Isn’t it funny how much these guys hate the label ‘creep’ and yet they will insist on doing such creepy things?

Yup. And gimme a break…if all he wanted was to see boobs, he could simply google the term. I’m sure he’d find any number of Tumblrs dedicated to nothing but .gifs of bouncy bazooms.

bbeaty
bbeaty
7 years ago

“Note that our creepy friend here is careful to stipulate that he ‘DOESN’T want a slut’. What can he possibly have in mind when he says that?”

Any fans of “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia?” One of the greatest lines from the loser/creeps: “We don’t want wild girls, we want Good Girls Gone Wild.”

That one lines sums up this one MRA/PUA attitude so much. “We don’t want real adult women who are sexual. We want young, inexperienced girls, because the point isn’t to enjoy good sex, it’s to be the first one to plant his flag on new territory.”

And yes, if only we could send forward them all the unsolicited dick pics. Preferably without having to open them first.

Just Saying!
Just Saying!
7 years ago

Even if it were true and his grandmother has died somewhere along the line, she’d be spinning in her grave if she knew how her grandson was presenting himself online and what he was asking for!! It’s almost like he is emotionally blackmailing girls/women to do it. What a sicko.

kittehserf
7 years ago

It’s almost like he is emotionally blackmailing girls/women to do it.

Not almost, it is what he’s trying to do.

Unimaginative
Unimaginative
7 years ago

a really nasty right-wing government in since last year, who are busy breaking international laws about refugees, playing with introducing a two-tier medical system, trying to undermine the two non-right-wing broadcasters and putting thousands of people out of work

Isn’t it funny how conservative governments all seem to do that kind of thing when they get into power? I always wonder exactly what it is they’re conserving.

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
7 years ago

@Unimaginative:

Isn’t it funny how conservative governments all seem to do that kind of thing when they get into power? I always wonder exactly what it is they’re conserving.

Decency, empathy, ethics, morals.

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
7 years ago

Erm, that could read wrong. As in, they’re conserving them by not actually doing things that would reflect decency, empathy, ethics, and morals.

kittehserf
7 years ago

Kiwi girl – too right, they’re not spending any of those!

These assclowns are a watered down version of the GOP. They don’t do quite as much of the religious ranting, ‘cos they don’t have that sort of toxic religious base as widespread here as it is in the US, but that’s the best one can say for them.

I desperately hope everyone remembers how many people lost jobs and conditions under these creatures, come the election. (The PM was complaining about the outrageously good conditions of SPC workers – they get $50K a year when the average here is $74K, and the “conditions” were a payment of 58 cents an hour for when their clothes get wet.)

Oh, and this is Mr Sophisticated Diplomat who actually talks about “goodies and baddies” when referring to Egypt or Syria. Yes, those actual words.

This needs to be a one-term government.

Susan
Susan
7 years ago

Ok let me see if I get this. So the many men who have looked at your boobs aren’t creepy perverts, but the man who DOESN’T want to look at your boobs IS a creepy pervert. Ok got it

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
7 years ago

And he wears red speedos. There is nothing that can remove that image from my mind. 🙁

maggiesausage
maggiesausage
7 years ago

What always gets me about Aussie politics is the way “boat” has become a dirty word, though I suppose it has the right number of letters.

kittehserf
7 years ago

Kiwi girl – I know, Abbott in Speedos is the grossest thing EVER. Some pollies can get away with it; the scrawny gross hairy one can’t. (John Thwaites, who was Deputy Premier here around 2000, used to get voted the hottest pollie by the local gay community when he went out for a swim.)

maggiesausage – been around a while, too; the racists were on about “boat people” back when people were fleeing Vietnam and Cambodia. It’s worse now; I don’t think we had concentration camps set up then. 🙁

Completely OT but I’m reading old Manly Guys comics and just had a snortlaughchoke over this one:

http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/archives/comic/never-give-up-never-surrender

shayla
shayla
7 years ago

Yeah this certainly isn’t new. This is either the same guy as, or a guy copycatting, a man from a while ago who threatened to hurt his pet dog if the girls ended the chat or didn’t expose themselves, and he intentionally targeted interests known for having younger teens. I dearly hope he rots somewhere, whether it’s prison or further south.

AbsintheDexterous
AbsintheDexterous
7 years ago

As in, they’re conserving them by not actually doing things that would reflect decency, empathy, ethics, and morals.

Well, how can anyone value them if everyone had them? The price would go way, way down, and you can’t have that! Before you know it, there’ll be crates of Ethics and Decency floating in the ocean. And what if one of them washes up on the shores of one of those countries? No, no, that’s no good. Must keep them safe from undeserving people.

/ sarcasm

AbsintheDexterous
AbsintheDexterous
7 years ago

Oh, and forgot to add…

That’s why we ‘Muricans hoard all of the FREEDOM and LIBERTY. Can’t really go out and give it to just anyone now, can we?

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: Kittehs

ZOMG Manly Guys Doing Manly Things. I LOVE that comic–it’s one of the three I manage to read regularly. Did I mention I got to meet the creator and get a page of doodles from her at a con once? :B IT WAS AWESOME. And she was very nice to me. I give Manly Guys two burly thumbs up.

RE: pecunium

And Roman Polanski. Yeah, poor guy, churning out award-winning movies in fucking France… *eyeroll* I swear, if I do something that awful, I dearly hope MY fanbase would be outraged and horrified.

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

I think you may have misunderstood something somewhere along the line, Susan, but regardless: looking at boobs does not necessarily make one a creep (I’m not crazy about the word pervert) and one can be a creep without ever looking at boobs. Hope that helps.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: Edward White

Damn, I mistook you for EDGAR White for a moment, and I was gearing up to get all excited…

*might be just a LITTLE punchdrunk for pounding out 3K words and a lot of advertising. God I love writeathons*

Ally S
7 years ago

Omegle is a real cesspool. I’ve had some interesting conversations there, but 90% of them start with either “26 M CALI ASL?” or “i’m a horny guy show me your boobs” and then get exponentially worse from there.

Also, Omegle MRAs are absolutely terrible.

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
7 years ago

How the hell would he know if it was a “slut” who showed him her boobs? It isn’t like boobs carry a record of the number of people who have seen them/felt them/had sex with their owner.

On the note of things wrong with the US, I just used my really nice (for an American) healthcare yesterday. 1 trip to urgent care + two generic prescriptions = $40. I pay $100 a month for it. I’m wondering what this sounds like to non-Americans? I don’t know what the monthly taxes, etc. are for national health care, but keep in mind–this is about as good as it gets in the US.

The urgent care around here is the best, though. The urgent care at my parents’ HMO is always at least a 40 minute wait–and that is if you get there early. We spent 4 hours at one down in southern oregon after my sister injured her hand. The one around here is open until 8 pm and got me in basically as soon as I filled out the paperwork.

I’m still a little confused whey a steroid nasal spray is supposed to help my ear pain, though.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: Wordsp1nner

Possibly with the assumption that sinus inflammation is involved? It’s the only thing I know of that hooks the two up.

Also ugh, don’t remind me. I’m having mass government problems, due to both the state AND the federal ones dropping the ball, which means I have no health insurance, no food stamps, and might be getting my bennies cut if I don’t find out what the fuck is going on. YAY USA! Where moving over state lines causes complete havoc!

kittehserf
7 years ago

On the steroid – ears nose and throat are so connected (they are often enough the same specialty in medicine, iirc) that it’s not all that surprising about the spray.

Unless they meant you to squirt it in your ear. 😛

I never recall off-hand what I pay for my private health, and I don’t use it that much, because it doesn’t cover GP visits, which are partly covered by Medicare. I’m on a very low wage, so I get money back at tax time rather than an extra slug.

I do envy you the $40 for two prescriptions! I have a few I have to renew often enough – eye drops, antidepressants and asthma inhaler – and they’re $36 each, every time. Ouch.

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
7 years ago

Actually, it was $20 for the prescriptions and $20 for an office visit.

I think the doctor thought my eustachian tube was closed because of allergies, when I told her that I’m pretty sure I had a minor cold, also my eustachian tube sucks hairy balls (not in those words). But since it isn’t an infection (yet)… there is nothing she can do about it.

kittehserf
7 years ago

That’s way cheaper than my doc visits; the clinic I go do doesn’t bulk-bill, dammit.

Unimaginative
Unimaginative
7 years ago

All my doctor visits, ever, have been covered, even with specialists. The one surgery I’ve ever had was covered, as was the after care. I went through a phase where I had a LOT of doctor visits, and trips to the imaging lab (also covered). All I’ve ever had to pay for was my portion of prescriptions (currently a $2 co-pay), glasses, dental, and orthotics. Pretty much all I have to pay for is elective stuff, like massages and chiropractor, and some plans cover those as well.

It must be terrifying to be ill in the US.

Unimaginative
Unimaginative
7 years ago

^covered by Alberta Health Insurance, for which citizens no longer pay, because our conservative government are financial idiots.

kittehserf
7 years ago

I always think it’s very telling that the advice for travel insurance in the US is to get “unlimited”. Not a million or three, unlimited.

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
7 years ago

In the US, even good insurance has copays on almost everything, and they keep going up. Just this year my insurance raised the copay for specialist visits (from $30 to $40). The only exception are some kinds of preventative care, like birth control and vaccines (though the last couple of vaccines I’ve had I got through work).

If I had to undergo surgery, I would probably be out around $1000 to $2000 dollars (I have to check what my plan covers, but I can’t remember), which I would have to go into debt for but could pay off, probably within a couple of months or so on my salary or with help from family. But remember–I have good insurance.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

It must be terrifying to be ill in the US.

Aha. Ahahahahaha. HAHAHA.

*cries*

Let me put it this way: had my insurance not covered my partial hospitalization in the loonybin, it would’ve cleared me out of a year’s wages. Had I not been lucky enough to get my ass to MA and safely insured, I would’ve been DEAD.

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

But hey, once you’ve spent all your money on healthcare you may qualify for Medicare (Medicaid?) depending how it works in your state (probably not, unless you can’t work)

LBT — that fucking SUCKS, let me know if I can help sort paperwork or anything.

kittehserf
7 years ago

Oh noes

I stood up suddenly and startled Maddie

Such shame …

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