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Omegle perv: Send me BEWBZ or I might just have to kill myself

So I’ve been poking around the CreepyPM’s subreddit again — it’s a place where people, mostly women, post screenshots of the creepy private messages they’ve gotten from anonymous weirdos — and I ran across this doozy from Omegle, an online chat program that links up random strangers.

This bit of passive-aggressive, cut-and-paste pervery was one anonymous fellow’s opening conversational salvo. (Click on the pic to see a larger, more readable version.)

Hey - ASKING FOR BOOBZ DOES NOT MAKE ME A FUCKING PERV! Im just having a really crap week (my grandma died) and I want a girl to be adventurous and sweet enough to show me her boobz. I DON'T want a slut, and I'm NOT horny, I just want a girl who is cool enough to try that and make me feel happier - its the effort thats important. Plus girls say I'm cute and I have abs. So DON'T add me if you won't send it! And im feeling really suicidal, so being a bitch will only make things worse :( - Im 18 Male from London, and here's my kik:

Now, I’m no psychiatrist, but as someone who’s suffered from depression, I’m pretty sure that guilt-tripping random women on the internet into sending you pictures of their BOOBZ isn’t going to actually help to cure this depression.

But the fact is, this guy isn’t actually suicidal. He’s just made that bit up in order to con women — and evidently some underage girls — into showing him their tits.

How do I know? Because. as a couple of the regulars in the CreepyPMs subreddit have pointed out, he’s done this before, apparently many times, with the same sob story about “having a really crap week (my grandma died).” So either he’s lost several dozen grandmothers in the past couple of years or he’s lying. I’m going to go with the latter explanation. Occam’s razor and all.

So congratulations, dude, you’ve managed to define a new low in shitty online pervery. From now on, people will forever measured by your yardstick. As in, “well, that’s guy’s pretty pervy, but he’s not quit as pervy as the guy who pretended to be suicidal on Omegle to get girls to show him their tits.”

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bodycrimes
11 years ago

Isn’t it funny how much these guys hate the label ‘creep’ and yet they will insist on doing such creepy things?

HeatherN
11 years ago

As if folks with mental health issues didn’t have a hard enough time getting people to believe them…

SredniVashtar
SredniVashtar
11 years ago

Note that our creepy friend here is careful to stipulate that he ‘DOESN’T want a slut’. What can he possibly have in mind when he says that? Obviously I don’t think the word ‘slut’ applies, any more than in the most sex-positive neutral sense of the term, to anyone who does happen like to show consenting men on the internet their boobz (not to be confused with the work of Boobz, M). But I honestly don’t know what this guy means by ‘slut’, if not ‘woman who does sexually adventurous things that society disapproves of’, which obviously includes Omegle sex-chatting. How can he manage NOT to see that the term ‘slut’ just fails to refer, when he uses it in that context?

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
11 years ago

If only the men sending unwanted dick pics would target this guy who is asking for boob pics. I don’t think the universe will explode if that happens.

katz
11 years ago

I’m assuming “you both like books” was a typo.

kittehserf
11 years ago

Sredni – in the link David provided, this creeper said to one person he’s “happy getting boob pics from innocent 14 year old girls”. So there’s your answer about who’s a not-slut: a child.

Kiwi girl – if only one could automatically forward messages with particular content to that user, like forwarding phone calls! The world wouldn’t explode but with a bit of luck the two sets of creeps would have an assplosion.

SredniVashtar
SredniVashtar
11 years ago

kittehserf – Ew ew ew how perfectly vomitous. You’re right of course, he’ll take one fresh out of the box over one of those used-up slutty damaged-goods adults who are capable of giving consent. It is enough to put me off my Eccles cake. (Actually it is not quite enough – not because it is not super gross to the max, but because nothing could put me off my Eccles cake – it is delicious).

Edward White
11 years ago

How about sending him pictures of the Three Stooges?

kittehserf
11 years ago

Eccles cake, I’ve never had that, though I know the name (I grew up listening to the Goon Show, so Eccles – well!). I don’t know if it’s even available in Oz.

Viscaria
Viscaria
11 years ago

Slut = adult who would take pleasure in the idea that some stranger is looking at her boobs? Only he is allowed to enjoy this! Or maybe slut = adult who would show her boobs to other people in other contexts, because that means he hasn’t won in the imaginary boob-viewing race he thinks he is in with all other men who like women?

SredniVashtar
SredniVashtar
11 years ago

Aaah you’re missing out – well not really, since you get to live in Australia which on balance must be pretty great. An Eccles cake is solely an English thing I think – a delicious flaky fellow with an inside of densely-packed raisiny stuff. I’m working on an essay, looks like it’s going to be an all-nighter so I’m chaining sugar-based snacks. And commenting on Manboobz…

Viscaria
Viscaria
11 years ago

My stepdad loved Eccles cakes when I was growing up, so I’ve had a few, but I suspect Canadian supermarket Eccles cake is pretty different than the original English version.

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

Ewwww.

EWWWWWWWWWW.

I am doing this face right now. Seriously, dude. The fuck is wrong with you? Thanks for making shit even harder for loonies like me to be taken seriously because of you.

Someone ought to introduce him to buttboy69. They can go have fun together. Have a Boston marriage and leave the rest of us out of it.

kittehserf
11 years ago

Living in Australia’s good on balance, especially when I read about the shit USians have to put up with, f’rinst. But we’ve a really nasty right-wing government in since last year, who are busy breaking international laws about refugees, playing with introducing a two-tier medical system, trying to undermine the two non-right-wing broadcasters and putting thousands of people out of work by refusing to go on subsidising manufacturers here.

Plus summer’s feckin awful.

I wanna be in England where there’s So Much History I love. Even though you do have Cameron and all who’re total douchecanoes as well.

kittehserf
11 years ago

Heh – LBT, d’you reckon if Kratos got hold of Mr BEWBZ creep, it’d look like the last panel in the first comic?

http://coelasquid.deviantart.com/art/Manly-Guys-01-156946085

pecunium
11 years ago
pecunium
11 years ago

Re eccles cakes: They are yummy, and one of the theatrical groups I belonged to (16th century recreational improv/street theater) referred to bad staging as an Eccles Cake (all the best bits are on the inside).

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
11 years ago

So, on hearing the news that his grandma died, this guy’s first thought was, “I need to see boobs, pronto.” Right.

I guess there IS a shortage of them on the internet…

Bina
Bina
11 years ago

Isn’t it funny how much these guys hate the label ‘creep’ and yet they will insist on doing such creepy things?

Yup. And gimme a break…if all he wanted was to see boobs, he could simply google the term. I’m sure he’d find any number of Tumblrs dedicated to nothing but .gifs of bouncy bazooms.

bbeaty
bbeaty
11 years ago

“Note that our creepy friend here is careful to stipulate that he ‘DOESN’T want a slut’. What can he possibly have in mind when he says that?”

Any fans of “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia?” One of the greatest lines from the loser/creeps: “We don’t want wild girls, we want Good Girls Gone Wild.”

That one lines sums up this one MRA/PUA attitude so much. “We don’t want real adult women who are sexual. We want young, inexperienced girls, because the point isn’t to enjoy good sex, it’s to be the first one to plant his flag on new territory.”

And yes, if only we could send forward them all the unsolicited dick pics. Preferably without having to open them first.

Just Saying!
Just Saying!
11 years ago

Even if it were true and his grandmother has died somewhere along the line, she’d be spinning in her grave if she knew how her grandson was presenting himself online and what he was asking for!! It’s almost like he is emotionally blackmailing girls/women to do it. What a sicko.

kittehserf
11 years ago

It’s almost like he is emotionally blackmailing girls/women to do it.

Not almost, it is what he’s trying to do.

Unimaginative
11 years ago

a really nasty right-wing government in since last year, who are busy breaking international laws about refugees, playing with introducing a two-tier medical system, trying to undermine the two non-right-wing broadcasters and putting thousands of people out of work

Isn’t it funny how conservative governments all seem to do that kind of thing when they get into power? I always wonder exactly what it is they’re conserving.

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
11 years ago

@Unimaginative:

Isn’t it funny how conservative governments all seem to do that kind of thing when they get into power? I always wonder exactly what it is they’re conserving.

Decency, empathy, ethics, morals.

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
11 years ago

Erm, that could read wrong. As in, they’re conserving them by not actually doing things that would reflect decency, empathy, ethics, and morals.

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