Looking through the search terms people have used to get to my blog, I can’t help but feel a little sad, even a tiny bit guilty.
Clearly the searchers who came to Man Boobz looking for information about “airport lesbians” or “sexual spanking in animal kingdom” or even “all metaphors of bread” were likely to be a bit disappointed when they got here and discovered what the blog was really about. I’ve written about this once before.
But today, as a sort of public service, I’d like to see if I can help out some of the hapless searchers who’ve come to Man Boobz by providing answers to, or at least some sort of opinions about, their more puzzling queries. Just so you know, these are all real. I’ve left out the most perverse ones.
why women spoil easier than men
Fewer preservatives?
why do girls like animals
Because animals are awesome? (Except bedbugs. And lice. Not fond of bugs in general.)
famous pople wirh cats
Obviously that second word is a typo. Here you go.
kittens in war
stefan molyneux is an idiot
Yes he is.
want does a slut want
Pretty much what we all want, I’m guessing: Good friends, a decent job, a nice place to live, a bowl of snacks, a subscription to Netflix, and regular consensual sex with cool people.
do women love sperm
You’re going to have to determine this on a case by case basis.
do military guys hate eating pussy
You’re going to have to determine this on a case by case basis too.
women are just holes
I am going to have to disagree with you on this one, bud. I think you have women confused with sponges.
Here’s are some women. (I’m not quite sure what they find so funny.)
Here’s a sponge.
Sorry, here’s a sponge.
Happy to help!
no sympathy for lonely women
Huh. That seems a little dickish, dude.
i detest women
Yeah, we get it.
i hate women so much
We get it. WE GET IT.
i’m a straight man who hates women
Yeah, seriously. WE GOT IT.
i hate women and i don’t respect them
What the fuck, man.
why do i hate women
I don’t know, dude. But at least you’re asking the question.
how to halve your vagina-age
Maybe have it wear a jaunty hat?
what happens to women butt as they age
Women’s butts build cocoons, and transform into beautiful butt butterflies!
what do men think about periods
Speaking for myself, I find them useful to end sentences with. Semicolons are much more interesting; trust me on this one!
the west is a cunt controlled matriarchy
I’m going to say no to that one.
show mewhere tofindyoung females tohavesexwith
No.
breeding european women
I think you might be looking for Stormfront, not Man Boobz.
when do guys pour their sperms?
I … don’t know? Is sperm pouring even a thing? Is this what the cool kids are into today? I feel so old.
how make a tide penis
No. First you need to ask yourself “why make a tide penis?” Actually, before you ask that, maybe you could explain to me what a “tide penis” is in the first place. Actually, scratch that. I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know.
ugly girls eating cream
Can’t help you there, but here are some sad women eating ice cream. There seem to be as many stock photos of this old trope as there are of Women Laughing Alone With Salad.
why men should not have cats
Wait, what? What are you talking about? GET THE HELL OFF MY BLOG.
neuroticbeagle – ::snicker:: too right Min-the-dog wasn’t doing any work. 😀
leocigale – thank you, and it was my pleasure! Stopping myself talking about Louis is the hard part. It’s like kitties.
… kitties
… kitties
SOMEONE WANTS TO TALK KITTIES
weirwoodtreehugger, I second neuroticbeagle’s comment:
Those are cool names for your kitties! I have two residents at the moment, both torbies: Fribbie, who’s eighteen and a cream-blue-white colour, and Maddie, who’s really mostly brown/black tabby but has a few splodges of dark ginger here and there, and a Great Big White Belleh she likes to show off.
Across the veil there are TEN yes TEN kitties, plus nine doggies. The dogs are all Louis’s, two of ’em latecomers, nine of the kitties are mine who’ve passed over the years, and Miss Rochelle is a mystery girl who showed up a couple of years ago. Louis promptly went completely soppy over her. 😀
Now that we have a fence, we can finally get a dog…
…And PHS is having a Puppy Bowl party this weekend…
::dies::
::gets up as zombie::
::reads BritterSweet’s comment again::
::dies again::
Just Louis? Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. 😉
Katz, you’re breaking my heart. But LUV LUV LUV if one of them finds you!
Cynic! 😛
You should have heard him the first day he had her. I realised on the tram home he had a new kitty with him and he was busy cuddling her and calling her “my little cabbage,” which cracked me up. I didn’t know at the time it really is an old French endearment!
mon petit chou
Totally weird and possibly regional endearment – a friend of mine calls everyone from friends to her mum to cats “my little chicken”. No idea what that’s about. She’s from the south of England.
Puppy bowl is the best! I will also be watching Downton and Sherlock. No craps given about the super bowl in my home.
I hear Hallmark channel is having a kitten bowl. I’ll need to keep an eye out for that.
I think I’ve heard “my little chicken” somewhere, but I’ve no idea where.
Not that it’s any sillier than calling someone duck or ducky, I guess. (What is it with poultry endearments?)
Fingers crossed for the puppy bowl, katz!
“Hen” is (or was?) a Scottish endearment for a girl or woman. (My aunt used to call everybody Hen. But she was born ~1930; don’t know whether it’s still common there.)
It mightn’t be common but I’ve been called hen by Scots who’d’ve been younger than that. Only women, interestingly; do men ever use the term?
Hen, duck, chicken … there’s a whole barnyard building up here.
Okay, there’s something about that last photo on the kittens-and-soldiers page… some of it may be projection, but the Vietnam-era American soldier just looks so forlorn in comparison to most of the others.
Yeah, it would make sense if she was my gran’s age, but she was calling people that when she was 22.
Hmm. My dad calls people hen.
People from the midlands call you “m’dook” as in “my duck” if they like you.
Someone was kind enough to inform me that there will also be a Fish Bowl. It’s getting DVRed since apparently my brother MUST watch the super bowl.
FemBorg search terms, warning, there’s a disgusting rape one in there —
feminist borg
feminist borg login (it’s the site addy /WP-admin or email me, you won’t be the first to ask for it)
mentally ill women are sexy (twice)
feministborg.com
manosphere
kiwi bird
atheist misogyny community
TW: rape — women begging to be raped by many cocks /TW
the big bang theory ableism
dampnacyon translation
pregancy as punishment
rape jokes are microaggressions
how is an assisted birth methods
Freemage — I don’t think it’s projection since the vast majority of the others have the soldiers smiling and fawning over the kitties, or you can’t see their faces. I mean, one of those is a group of soldiers crowding around a cat hammock, big difference from the Vietnam one.
cassandra – it did seem odd I’d only heard it from women, so that answers that then. 🙂
“dampnacyon translation”?
What is a nacyon and how did its translation get wet? More to the point, how do they expect the Feminist Borg to dry it? Our powers are awesome but dry cleaning via the intertubes is beyond them.
I think.
@Quackers:
Oooh, that “argument”. Well, since all it did was cut to these scenes in the middle of her talking, I didn’t know for sure that was what he was going for. It only flashed my mind for a second. The argument’s been debunked so many times not just here, but in my circle of meatspace people, that I kind of tend to forget about it until it comes back into play on their end.
I can’t even come up with something clever here. But thanks for clearing that one up for me!
@weirdwoodtreehugger:
Not entirely sure why you enjoy watching his death reel, but OK! He does do a good job, I’ll give him that. I don’t really know jack when it comes to the actor, or most actors, even any significant people in movies. I can recognize faces and voices, that’s about it. But I’ll gladly listen to any “Here’s why you should know who this is”.
AIT — this one will either amuse or infuriate you, but have you heard the MRA talking point about how we send men to die in wars cuz “male disposability”? It’s usually paired with, at the least, how women aren’t suited for war // women need to be drafted to make up for male deaths (I think you’ve been here long enough now to have seen that one). For extra bonus stupid, all wars have been started by women since the men who started them did it for money and we all know their wives were really the ones motivating that.
Yeah, and this all comes from guys who’s biggest risk is carpal tunnel from too much keyboard mashing. I almost prefer it when they’re whining about movies since it is, you know, fake. When they start with how soldiers this that and the other thing I want them to meet my cousin (the one who was there when the wall fell taught at an inner city school for awhile, apparently being former army is enough to make any middle school boys STFU, if he can control them, he can control MRAs!)
@Argenti:
(AIT talking, NOT USAF. Also, triggers maybe? General war and death talk)
Yeah, I’ve definitely heard that argument… I honestly want to tell them to just shut the fuck up when I hear that. I know women who want to be on the front lines, or at least have the ability. There are honestly many women much more badass than I am in that respect.
I remember that whole article a couple weeks back where the fool was talking about how we need to draft only women to make up for the amount of men dead from WWI through present day. I can’t add much to tearing that one down that the community here didn’t already state.
If I weren’t up at 0230 right now, I’d be more infuriated with these dumbfucks. Right now I’m just more exasperated. That and the website I need to work is crapping out, so I’m staying up until it gets back and I can get work done.
A vast majority of the folks making that argument are, like you said, at worst facing risk of carpal tunnel. If they are so willing to go out and draft only women to go out to war, I had better see their sorry asses lining up at the nearest recruiting office to volunteer themselves to serve. Scratch, I would not trust my six to them on the battlefield. I don’t care if they happen to be the most fit person out there with pinpoint accuracy, they are not someone I trust. In any case, they don’t want women to serve, they rather want women sent to slaughter.
Any other soldiers who are making that argument are missing the point entirely.
I joined so I could be defending. That’s my personal take on the military, I am not out to kill. I am out to defend from those who would in any way harm the people who are important to me. People who want more killed simply to fill a quota or balance a death toll between any two groups are beyond scumbags.
Sometimes I feel like I have less right than, say Pecunium to talk about this, since zie has been deployed and actually experienced that hell. But, I signed up knowing I may full well end up over there someday. And I sincerely hope that my brothers and sisters in arms will work with me so we can all end up coming home alive, and not scarred physically, mentally, or spiritually.
Women have demonstrated they ARE willing to be out on the front lines, and in other countries (Australia, Norway, New Zealand) are even in special forces. The US is working toward that slowly but surely. It kills me that people are that full of hatred that they are out for blood, simply for blood’s sake.
I can’t even think straight on this anymore. And now my website is up.
tl;dr: All I can say is don’t you DARE ever volunteer someone else to go out and fight a war, ESPECIALLY if you are never willing to go out and volunteer yourself.
Not my cat, but freakin adorable. I needed some after that one.
Speaking of liking animals, why are guys that work with animals super hot.
Women starting wars, what? Makes no sense.
Are you including farmers in “guys who work with animals”? Because I’ve met many who are decidedly not.