Looking through the search terms people have used to get to my blog, I can’t help but feel a little sad, even a tiny bit guilty.
Clearly the searchers who came to Man Boobz looking for information about “airport lesbians” or “sexual spanking in animal kingdom” or even “all metaphors of bread” were likely to be a bit disappointed when they got here and discovered what the blog was really about. I’ve written about this once before.
But today, as a sort of public service, I’d like to see if I can help out some of the hapless searchers who’ve come to Man Boobz by providing answers to, or at least some sort of opinions about, their more puzzling queries. Just so you know, these are all real. I’ve left out the most perverse ones.
why women spoil easier than men
Fewer preservatives?
why do girls like animals
Because animals are awesome? (Except bedbugs. And lice. Not fond of bugs in general.)
famous pople wirh cats
Obviously that second word is a typo. Here you go.
kittens in war
stefan molyneux is an idiot
Yes he is.
want does a slut want
Pretty much what we all want, I’m guessing: Good friends, a decent job, a nice place to live, a bowl of snacks, a subscription to Netflix, and regular consensual sex with cool people.
do women love sperm
You’re going to have to determine this on a case by case basis.
do military guys hate eating pussy
You’re going to have to determine this on a case by case basis too.
women are just holes
I am going to have to disagree with you on this one, bud. I think you have women confused with sponges.
Here’s are some women. (I’m not quite sure what they find so funny.)
Here’s a sponge.
Sorry, here’s a sponge.
Happy to help!
no sympathy for lonely women
Huh. That seems a little dickish, dude.
i detest women
Yeah, we get it.
i hate women so much
We get it. WE GET IT.
i’m a straight man who hates women
Yeah, seriously. WE GOT IT.
i hate women and i don’t respect them
What the fuck, man.
why do i hate women
I don’t know, dude. But at least you’re asking the question.
how to halve your vagina-age
Maybe have it wear a jaunty hat?
what happens to women butt as they age
Women’s butts build cocoons, and transform into beautiful butt butterflies!
what do men think about periods
Speaking for myself, I find them useful to end sentences with. Semicolons are much more interesting; trust me on this one!
the west is a cunt controlled matriarchy
I’m going to say no to that one.
show mewhere tofindyoung females tohavesexwith
No.
breeding european women
I think you might be looking for Stormfront, not Man Boobz.
when do guys pour their sperms?
I … don’t know? Is sperm pouring even a thing? Is this what the cool kids are into today? I feel so old.
how make a tide penis
No. First you need to ask yourself “why make a tide penis?” Actually, before you ask that, maybe you could explain to me what a “tide penis” is in the first place. Actually, scratch that. I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know.
ugly girls eating cream
Can’t help you there, but here are some sad women eating ice cream. There seem to be as many stock photos of this old trope as there are of Women Laughing Alone With Salad.
why men should not have cats
Wait, what? What are you talking about? GET THE HELL OFF MY BLOG.
It’s nice to meet your kitties, weirwoodtreehugger. The Scented Candles refers to this post: http://manboobz.com/2012/06/02/scented-candles-oppress-men-the-spearhead-at-its-self-proclaimed-best/. By the way, have you had your Official Illustrated Man Boobz Complimentary Welcome Package* yet? http://artistryforfeminismandkittens.wordpress.com/the-official-man-boobz-complimentary-welcome-package/
*damn that title was long
Hi Ally!
Thanks for replying to me, kittehserf. That’s very interesting and awesome, I must say!
Quackers: What I didn’t get was he responds to us seeing men as a whole person while we see females as an amalgamation of parts by showing clips from various movies of folks getting shot or killed in other manners? If anything, I took from that “Ok, movies show guys getting killed?” Nothing to do with what she said.
@weirwoodtreehugger
The Furrinati is always a topic for discussion. The only problem with the rambling about your kitties was that it did not have pictures. 🙂
As for scented candles, it is explained in the welcome package:
http://artistryforfeminismandkittens.wordpress.com/the-official-man-boobz-complimentary-welcome-package/
damn it. ninja’d.
Hi serrana! :>
Thanks serrana and Ally! Yes I did receive the welcome package already, but thanks.
Holy crap on that scented candle thing! The “logic” of MRAs is incomprehensible to me. Thanks for sharing it though.
AIT,
I love this video of Sean Bean (who I love!) dying over and over.
Am I a horrible person for laughing at this? Because that’s totally what that looked like.
:: waves at AbsintheDexterous ::
Haven’t seen you here in ages!
That, or the fact that the ice cream is all gone. “Oh, chocolate mint, how I loved you so, and you are no more.”
Did someone here originally direct me to this tumblr? Thanks for reminding me, I got another laugh.
@AIT
What I assumed he was trying to (badly) say is that because men get killed in movies they are disposable and aren’t people or the same old MRA crap about that topic. The interesting thing though is that we know more about men who get killed in movies as people, than we do about a pair of boobs. It can be inferred usually that they are either criminals, or henchmen, or are the enemy soldiers of some totalitarian ruler. They’re also usually killed by a male hero. So…what? you mean men get to play a variety of roles thus emphasizing how they are people with individual personalities, whereas women are mostly relegated to roles that emphasize their sex appeal or nagginess or stuck as love interest? no, no one has ever noticed THAT!
I like how he omits all the women who are not only slaughtered in horror movies, but who’s deaths are usually sexualized too. Remember the rules in Scream? the “sluts” die, but the virgin survives.
All of that said, even if it does prove some kind of a point, it doesn’t really have anything to do with what she said, no. I mean, that video is so non hostile and humorous yet I saw comments acting like she is some radical feminist. Tons of comments about her cleavage too…which you could barely even see. I guess unless women wear turtlenecks, they are forbidden to discuss objectification!
Hey, cool Uncle Scrooge gravatar, leocigale.
*waves back at Ally*
I’ve been mostly lurking, only because I’ve been super busy. It kinda sucks because I only have time to read things and not comment. I’m getting more settled, so hopefully I can comment again…I have a smartphone, but I HATE trying to type comments with it.
Maybe it was meant to be tilde penis. as in shaped like ~
A tilde penis? Oh dear. I can’t see that working out well, needless to say.
No. It is never a bad time.
MRAs just like to point at things and say, “SEE?! That man was killed! Men die in movies all the time! Disposable gender! SEE?! I’m being repressed!”
…And they completely ignore that many fictional women have died in movies and many, many more die in real life for the sole reason of being female.*
*citation needed.
Oh, here it is:
http://www.unfpa.org/public/home/publications/pid/12405
What about penguins? Is it a good time for penguins? How about aweseom robotic penguins?
It’s always a good time for penguins too.
My interesting search terms are:
patraeus visits dli
n*gg**.jailbait
what the fuck is wrong with republicans???
semi worsted spinning
vigra rape fucking pic
what is the common between fuck and reproduction
unlawful surveillance creepshots
lizard brain nsa
“what is the common between fuck and reproduction”
lol *snort*
sorry, excuse me.
Robotic Female Whore Penguins! Banned in Canada!