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Search Term Extravaganza Part 2: All Your Questions Answered!

The Searchers: Scanning the horizon for signs of "airport lesbians."
The Searchers: Scanning the horizon for signs of “airport lesbians.”

Looking through the search terms people have used to get to my blog, I can’t help but feel a little sad, even a tiny bit guilty.

Clearly the searchers who came to Man Boobz looking for information about “airport lesbians” or “sexual spanking in animal kingdom” or even “all metaphors of bread” were likely to be a bit disappointed when they got here and discovered what the blog was really about. I’ve written about this once before.

But today, as a sort of public service, I’d like to see if I can help out some of the hapless searchers who’ve come to Man Boobz by providing answers to, or at least some sort of opinions about, their more puzzling queries. Just so you know, these are all real. I’ve left out the most perverse ones.

why women spoil easier than men

Fewer preservatives?

why do girls like animals

Because animals are awesome? (Except bedbugs. And lice. Not fond of bugs in general.)

famous pople wirh cats

Obviously that second word is a typo. Here you go.

Famous Pope With Cat
Famous Pope With Cat

kittens in war

Kitten in war
Kitten in war

stefan molyneux is an idiot

Yes he is.

want does a slut want

Pretty much what we all want, I’m guessing: Good friends, a decent job, a nice place to live, a bowl of snacks, a subscription to Netflix, and regular consensual sex with cool people.

do women love sperm

You’re going to have to determine this on a case by case basis.

do military guys hate eating pussy

You’re going to have to determine this on a case by case basis too.

women are just holes

I am going to have to disagree with you on this one, bud. I think you have women confused with sponges.

Here’s are some women. (I’m not quite sure what they find so funny.)

women-laughing-4

Here’s a sponge.

elamheadphones

Sorry, here’s a sponge.

sponge

Happy to help!

no sympathy for lonely women

Huh. That seems a little dickish, dude.

i detest women

Yeah, we get it.

i hate women so much

We get it. WE GET IT.

i’m a straight man who hates women

Yeah, seriously. WE GOT IT.

i hate women and i don’t respect them

What the fuck, man.

why do i hate women

I don’t know, dude. But at least you’re asking the question.

how to halve your vagina-age

Maybe have it wear a jaunty hat?

what happens to women butt as they age

Women’s butts build cocoons, and transform into beautiful butt butterflies!

what do men think about periods

Speaking for myself, I find them useful to end sentences with. Semicolons are much more interesting; trust me on this one!

the west is a cunt controlled matriarchy

I’m going to say no to that one.

show mewhere tofindyoung females tohavesexwith

No.

breeding european women

I think you might be looking for Stormfront, not Man Boobz.

when do guys pour their sperms?

I … don’t know? Is sperm pouring even a thing? Is this what the cool kids are into today? I feel so old.

how make a tide penis

No. First you need to ask yourself “why make a tide penis?” Actually, before you ask that, maybe you could explain to me what a “tide penis” is in the first place. Actually, scratch that. I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know.

ugly girls eating cream

Can’t help you there, but here are some sad women eating ice cream. There seem to be as many stock photos of this old trope as there are of Women Laughing Alone With Salad.

emotional-woman-eating-ice-creamice-cream-in-bed-001article-2021454-0D4493AC00000578-323_468x313

why men should not have cats

Wait, what? What are you talking about? GET THE HELL OFF MY BLOG.

368 Comments
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kittehserf
10 years ago

Yeah, the ‘food’ in photo shoots doesn’t bear thinking about.

Maybe that’s the real reason for the models’ sad faces – they just tasted it.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Ninjaed by … well, just about everyone.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

@ emilygoddess

This one.

http://manboobz.com/2014/01/29/mens-rights-redditors-confused-angered-by-random-womans-obvious-joke-about-spermjacking-some-dude/comment-page-3/#comment-409375

Flames, flames on the side of my face! I think I should probably go for a walk before I get any more pissed off.

justabrowngirl
10 years ago

cassandrakitty, I peek but will stay out of there, a lot of the convo are triggers for me…and I already had a very crappy day…but good on you for not staying silent.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Shit, sorry if reading that made you feel triggered too, justabrowngirl.

kittehserf
10 years ago

cloudiah’s posted some lovely brain bleach on that thread, cassandra.

justabrowngirl
10 years ago

Cassandrakitty, please don’t worry, it not you, is the subject (not ready to face some of my demons, I guess). So please don’t appologize for speaking your mind ( I actually admire it).

katz
10 years ago

Here you go, Cloudiah. Wouldn’t want to disappoint your visitors.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Capybarasqueee!

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Hugs to anyone who needs or wants them. I’m going to go for a walk now before I get really hostile (if people objected to what I said to JoJo then I better not say what I’m thinking about MEZ’s comments).

Marie
Marie
10 years ago

@katz

That cabybara is fucking awesome 😀

justabrowngirl
10 years ago

Aww! is that a guinea pig warrior? Much gladiator, lol.

justabrowngirl
10 years ago

cassandrakitty, don’t let anyone silence you…words are our most powerful tool.

cloudiah
10 years ago

IT’S A WAR CAPYBARA! (And didn’t LBT make a borg capybara? Or maybe it was some other large rodent.)

Marie
Marie
10 years ago

@cloudiah

I think it was a borg wombat. It’s right here.

justabrowngirl
10 years ago

cloudiah, Oopsy…is a total bad ass (forgive me).

tcwill00
tcwill00
10 years ago

WAR CAPYBARA!!!

I will call you Rend, because that’s what you do!

justabrowngirl
10 years ago

Marie, loving the back cannon.

cloudiah
10 years ago

Wombat, it was a wombat. I knew it was a rodent of unusual size, anyway. (If wombats are indeed rodents; I’m too lazy to check.)

Marie
Marie
10 years ago

@justabrowngirl

Just to clarify, it was drawn by LBT, not me.

Marie
Marie
10 years ago

@cloudiah

they’re marsupials, according to wikipedia. Do those count as rodents? I assumed they were different but don’t know exactly what constitutes a rodent.

cloudiah
10 years ago

Oh, and I didn’t mean to look like I was yelling at you, justabrowngirl — sorry about that! I was just very excited by the capybara. XD

katz
10 years ago

Nope, rodents and marsupials are different. Rodents are placentals.

Bina
10 years ago

Well, this thread went downhill fast. Let’s see if I can help crank it back uphill with a capybara, making friends with a cat.

And look! There’s video!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DX4rtBmKzGo&w=640&h=360]

Marie
Marie
10 years ago

@katz

ah, thanks. I just didn’t know if all rodents are placentals or not.

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