Looking through the search terms people have used to get to my blog, I can’t help but feel a little sad, even a tiny bit guilty.
Clearly the searchers who came to Man Boobz looking for information about “airport lesbians” or “sexual spanking in animal kingdom” or even “all metaphors of bread” were likely to be a bit disappointed when they got here and discovered what the blog was really about. I’ve written about this once before.
But today, as a sort of public service, I’d like to see if I can help out some of the hapless searchers who’ve come to Man Boobz by providing answers to, or at least some sort of opinions about, their more puzzling queries. Just so you know, these are all real. I’ve left out the most perverse ones.
why women spoil easier than men
Fewer preservatives?
why do girls like animals
Because animals are awesome? (Except bedbugs. And lice. Not fond of bugs in general.)
famous pople wirh cats
Obviously that second word is a typo. Here you go.
kittens in war
stefan molyneux is an idiot
Yes he is.
want does a slut want
Pretty much what we all want, I’m guessing: Good friends, a decent job, a nice place to live, a bowl of snacks, a subscription to Netflix, and regular consensual sex with cool people.
do women love sperm
You’re going to have to determine this on a case by case basis.
do military guys hate eating pussy
You’re going to have to determine this on a case by case basis too.
women are just holes
I am going to have to disagree with you on this one, bud. I think you have women confused with sponges.
Here’s are some women. (I’m not quite sure what they find so funny.)
Here’s a sponge.
Sorry, here’s a sponge.
Happy to help!
no sympathy for lonely women
Huh. That seems a little dickish, dude.
i detest women
Yeah, we get it.
i hate women so much
We get it. WE GET IT.
i’m a straight man who hates women
Yeah, seriously. WE GOT IT.
i hate women and i don’t respect them
What the fuck, man.
why do i hate women
I don’t know, dude. But at least you’re asking the question.
how to halve your vagina-age
Maybe have it wear a jaunty hat?
what happens to women butt as they age
Women’s butts build cocoons, and transform into beautiful butt butterflies!
what do men think about periods
Speaking for myself, I find them useful to end sentences with. Semicolons are much more interesting; trust me on this one!
the west is a cunt controlled matriarchy
I’m going to say no to that one.
show mewhere tofindyoung females tohavesexwith
No.
breeding european women
I think you might be looking for Stormfront, not Man Boobz.
when do guys pour their sperms?
I … don’t know? Is sperm pouring even a thing? Is this what the cool kids are into today? I feel so old.
how make a tide penis
No. First you need to ask yourself “why make a tide penis?” Actually, before you ask that, maybe you could explain to me what a “tide penis” is in the first place. Actually, scratch that. I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know.
ugly girls eating cream
Can’t help you there, but here are some sad women eating ice cream. There seem to be as many stock photos of this old trope as there are of Women Laughing Alone With Salad.
why men should not have cats
Wait, what? What are you talking about? GET THE HELL OFF MY BLOG.
IKR? “Excuse me, which one of us has the direct line to God here? Fine, I’ll just ask him…*closes eyes*…yeah, he says I can have all the cats I want, and he thinks you’re an asshole.”
Maybe I wouldn’t make the best pope.
If only!
I don’t think even a really long penis would be a good broom. Most it could probably manage would be a little light dusting.
Ah, I didn’t realize it was an existing idea. I don’t know much about French history OR literature, unfortunately.
Please take your welcome package back. Apparently if you aren’t in the know about everything and everyone already on this blog, and make a perfectly understandable error, you’re to be blasted as if you knew and were deliberately trying to hurt someone.
I am bipolar and have been severely depressed and suicidal. And no, I don’t use ableist language, either. But if your view and lifestyle are out of the mainstream, you must expect people to misunderstand from time to time without assuming they are deliberately being vicious to you.
I’ve enjoyed reading this blog, but after being attacked I have no desire to read the comments again.
sueinnm: You can leave if you like, but it would be better to stay and learn.
Kittehserf has a sincere and deepfelt belief that she is married to the spirit of King Louis XIII. It isn’t roleplay, or a joke. She draws the same things from this relationship that I draw from my 5-year marriage to my own wife; love, support, comfort and companionship. Kittehserf doesn’t demand that people cater to it, either; merely that it not be disrespected, insulted or mocked. If you don’t feel comfortable addressing it positively, simply say nothing, and all will be well (leave the apology for accidentally crossing the line to stand, however). I’m one of the resident hardhat materialist atheists around here–if she and I can manage to bond over our mutual disregard for MRAs and enjoyment of cats, anyone can.
Kittehserf: If I’ve overstepped my bounds here by speaking for you, I do apologize. My impression of sueinnm is that they are sincere in intent, though, and thus willing to learn the local group rules (much as, say, JoJo was not).
Kittehs’ explanation was pretty polite. She didn’t berate you for not knowing or even demand that you believe her. She even told you you didn’t have to leave. I don’t know how she could have been any kinder to you, short of not having that boundary at all.
I’m really sorry that you feel attacked, but I really don’t think that’s what happened.
Dang, wordpress ate my comment.
Anyway, Sueinn. People aren’t trying to attack you. We just want you to be respectful to Kittehs. A request not to joke about someone’s life isn’t the same as an attack :/
Oh, gotcha!
In brief, it’s the idea behind Dumas’ Man in the Iron Mask – that there was a secret twin brother, the elder and real king. He didn’t invent it, just latched on to this dumb notion some prat dreamed up about the prisoner. The idea that the very public birth of twins – especially given a twenty-year wait and four miscarriages – to the queen of France would be something terrible is too stupid for words. There was no “oh noes which is heir” nonsense: first born is first born, duh.
Also I fucking hate Dumas. He told so many lies about Louis and Richelieu and did his damnedest to ruin their reputations. Any film you see where Louis’s made out to be some spineless idiot, you can thank Douchecanoe Dumas for that.
Well, shit, ninjaed, and it’s gonna be that much harder to play peacemaker now, so I’m stepping out. Sueinnm, feel free to consider what I posted, recognize that kittehs deals with a LOT of crap for her beliefs, despite the fact that they harm no one, and maybe check that against her reaction to your accidental gaffe.
freemage – dang, so far from you needing to apologise, I’m having a Yay! moment. Thank you!
Bonding over disregard of MRAs and enjoyment of cats is the perfect description for this whole blog, innit? 😀
I also agree with your estimate that sueinnm is sincere.
sueinnm – seriously, I wrote a paragraph cheerfully explaining my situation because I don’t expect anyone to grasp it immediately, then you made a joke that showed no, you hand’t got it, and that I didn’t find acceptable, and wrote one line saying so. You really think that’s attacking you, or a reason to go off in a snit? ::smh::
emilygoddess and marie – thank you both, too! Marie, great to see you back, btw. 🙂
Hi, Marie!
OT the boss was babysitting his daughter’s dog again today, and just took her home. Never seen anyone so reluctant to leave work – puppeh crawling along on her belly “But I want to stay! Everyone is making a fuss of me!” 🙂
@kittehs
Thanks :3 I finally made time to come back, the other, non-here interwebs were eating up my time too much.
@cassandrakitty
Hi! 😀 Just checking, are you the same poster as cassandrasays? Cuz you have the same avatar and I assumed you were the same, so figured I should probably ask. 😛
Yep, I just changed my gravatar name. How have you been?
Famous Pope with Cat. That bit made me laugh 😀
And while I’m still talking about the pictures used in this post: am I the only one who thinks the “ice cream” in the pics of sad women looks gross? Especially the second one, with some of what looks like lumpy mud dropping on the blanket. It’s understandable, though, since they probably used fake ice cream that wouldn’t melt so quickly under the lights for the photo shoot.
@Cassandrakitty
Still depressed, but on the bright side it hasn’t gotten any worse? Idk. I’m supposed to go to the doctor to get tested for anxiety sometime. What’s up with you?
The ice cream in the middle looks oddly lumpy, like it has rice krispies mixed in or something.
@bittersweet
I agree with you that the icecream in the second one looks gross. Even if they were using fake icecream, it didn’t need to be so lumpy.
I’m in flames coming out the side of my face mode on the other thread, so I’m hoping this one will become amusing again soon. Other than that things are good!
BritterSweet, maybe thats the reason they look so sad…droopy ice cream.
The woman in the middle looks pissed off, like she’s thinking “they promised me ice cream and this is what I get?”.
@cassandra
And of course the moment you say you’re in flames on the other thread I go ‘WHAT IS IS I MUST SEE!’ instead of, like, avoiding the infuriation. Anyway, here is a bunny to protect you with cuteness.
Cassandra, what other thread? Must be one I don’t have notifications on.
@justabrowngirl
that would explain a lot