Looking through the search terms people have used to get to my blog, I can’t help but feel a little sad, even a tiny bit guilty.
Clearly the searchers who came to Man Boobz looking for information about “airport lesbians” or “sexual spanking in animal kingdom” or even “all metaphors of bread” were likely to be a bit disappointed when they got here and discovered what the blog was really about. I’ve written about this once before.
But today, as a sort of public service, I’d like to see if I can help out some of the hapless searchers who’ve come to Man Boobz by providing answers to, or at least some sort of opinions about, their more puzzling queries. Just so you know, these are all real. I’ve left out the most perverse ones.
why women spoil easier than men
Fewer preservatives?
why do girls like animals
Because animals are awesome? (Except bedbugs. And lice. Not fond of bugs in general.)
famous pople wirh cats
Obviously that second word is a typo. Here you go.
kittens in war
stefan molyneux is an idiot
Yes he is.
want does a slut want
Pretty much what we all want, I’m guessing: Good friends, a decent job, a nice place to live, a bowl of snacks, a subscription to Netflix, and regular consensual sex with cool people.
do women love sperm
You’re going to have to determine this on a case by case basis.
do military guys hate eating pussy
You’re going to have to determine this on a case by case basis too.
women are just holes
I am going to have to disagree with you on this one, bud. I think you have women confused with sponges.
Here’s are some women. (I’m not quite sure what they find so funny.)
Here’s a sponge.
Sorry, here’s a sponge.
Happy to help!
no sympathy for lonely women
Huh. That seems a little dickish, dude.
i detest women
Yeah, we get it.
i hate women so much
We get it. WE GET IT.
i’m a straight man who hates women
Yeah, seriously. WE GOT IT.
i hate women and i don’t respect them
What the fuck, man.
why do i hate women
I don’t know, dude. But at least you’re asking the question.
how to halve your vagina-age
Maybe have it wear a jaunty hat?
what happens to women butt as they age
Women’s butts build cocoons, and transform into beautiful butt butterflies!
what do men think about periods
Speaking for myself, I find them useful to end sentences with. Semicolons are much more interesting; trust me on this one!
the west is a cunt controlled matriarchy
I’m going to say no to that one.
show mewhere tofindyoung females tohavesexwith
No.
breeding european women
I think you might be looking for Stormfront, not Man Boobz.
when do guys pour their sperms?
I … don’t know? Is sperm pouring even a thing? Is this what the cool kids are into today? I feel so old.
how make a tide penis
No. First you need to ask yourself “why make a tide penis?” Actually, before you ask that, maybe you could explain to me what a “tide penis” is in the first place. Actually, scratch that. I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know.
ugly girls eating cream
Can’t help you there, but here are some sad women eating ice cream. There seem to be as many stock photos of this old trope as there are of Women Laughing Alone With Salad.
why men should not have cats
Wait, what? What are you talking about? GET THE HELL OFF MY BLOG.
I searched “rule 34 helicopter porn” and ended up finding a hentai image of a woman having sex with two anthropomorphic cacti (apparently from the Final Fantasy series).
The world is a very, very strange place.
Doh!
Of course it is.
But… those planes aren’t the same sort… one’s a WW2 prop job, and the other a modern jet. The styling on the WW2 plane is perverse; it’s been made into a jet.
WHY?
Ok, I’m sorry, it’s just so bizarre to be mixing those periods that way. It’s not as if the whatever the fuck that illo was doing makes any sense in the first place, but the selection of “types” just seems so random.
Feck. Every time I scroll past that picture of Paul Fucking Elam, I get this terrible urge to wipe that smirk off his face. With my bare knuckles.
RE: pecunium
Don’t do it, man! You stare into the void like that, the void will stare back! And it’s FULL OF DILDOS.
I only have one question: why are planes considered female?
Because these duders can’t imagine liking or being interested in something without wanting to shove their dicks in it?
Many inanimate objects such as boats and airplanes are coded female when they are personified. That’s because, within the patriarchal gender binary, only women are the objectified class, and so the gendered personification of useful inanimate objects is commonly feminine.
Kiwi girl, ships are considered female too as I recall. I’ve always assumed it’s because they’re passive until someone “drives” them.
But..I mean, what…I’m completely failing to come up with any scenario in which this would seem like a logical, reasonable thing to do.
@ emilygoddess
I don’t remember the name, was too busy going ARGH MY CHILDHOOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO IT. I’m too old for Pokemon to have been a thing for me, but the Weeping Cock entry in which baby Pokemon were seducing their father probably had the same effect on the generation after mine.
I would like to humbly submit this video of sad ice cream + cute for your viewing. Sorry it doesn’t have kittehs. They can’t have ice cream.
“I wanted strawberry!” 😀
Thats the perverse part. Not the giant boobs.
The giant boobs are typical stupid. I don’t know what it is about the people (mostly men) who do sexualised cartoons that the breasts have to be ridonkulously large. Those postures he has them in are straight out of FanBoy Service 101.
But if this is Airplane Porn, you’d think a large part of the fan-service would be the planes (the guy who said he was looking for a Panavia Tornado was making the same point; that’s a contemporary plane you can put into German Colors [or RAF, since Panavia is a multinational consortium started because of NATO, and extended because of the EU, but I digress).
As a plane geek, the giant breasts were more distracting than anything else. (I suppose I have to turn in my REAL MAN™ card now).
Plus the Messerschmitt has a nice round propeller spinner, which would allow for a more human-like and less weasel-like face.
LBT:
No problem! Let us know if anything happens, I’m hoping things will get better for them.
Sorry I fell off the face of the planet for a bit, I had to go frolic with the teal deer. Mighty pretty, they are.
Except when they fail the Deviantart Challenge…
Argenti:
Are you up to three now?
Of course you do. A REAL MAN™ (emotional age about, what, fourteen?) has the reaction BOOBIES!!! and his brain shorts out after that.
AIT – if there’s ever a manboobz pub, it’ll be the Teal Dear.
I have a pretty strong reaction to boobs irl, but not drawn boobs of the round like a set of beach balls attached to the chest in a manner that makes no anatomical sense variety. I dunno if this is a biological thing or just that most women have, due to being in locker rooms and so on, seen more boobs just kind of hanging out doing their thing than most men have, but a lot of men still seem to have that primal response to the beach-balls-glued-to-chest thing while even women who’re both attracted to women and really into boobs mostly don’t.
Cassandra: I have a pretty strong reaction to boobs irl, but not drawn boobs of the round like a set of beach balls attached to the chest in a manner that makes no anatomical sense variety.
I think that’s also part of it. Those aren’t anything like real, so the switch isn’t flipped to get any sort of “hotness” reaction. I can tell they are sexualised, but they aren’t anything like believable, so that sort of drawing is more distracting than it is arousing, which means I think the artist has failed.
I look at highly accentuated/enlarged boobs (including covered ones) and the only thought that goes through my head is “ouch”. I can’t imagine stretching my chest skin that taut.
Eh, boobs often quite naturally come in very large sizes. What doesn’t occur in nature is boobs that are perfectly round like a ball.
Wouldn’t there be a difference between having naturally large breasts and having ginormous implants? I was thinking of the latter, rather than the former. The two people I knew with the largest boobs both had breast reductions because *back pain*. One was a friend’s mum, who showed me the results the day after she had the operation, stitches, bruising and all.
I’m cross that breast reduction is considered “cosmetic” and so is not covered under our socialist medical scheme here. If men had breasts and menstruation, do you think that breast reductions would be cheap and sanitary products would be highly discounted?
Forgot to add, I was a teenager at the time. But strong stomach.
Yeah, with people who get really big implants the skin often does look sort of stretched, and (all the TMI warnings here!) sometimes the weight of the implants plus the way the skin is stretched thin can lead to the implant actually breaking through the skin on the bottom of the breast. Do not google image search this if you want to be able to sleep any time soon.
AIT — I’m inclined to only collect teal deer if it’s about something trolly. Versus someone (in the case me) says so,etching, someone else (you) replies at length and the intial person responds to what you said, also at length…that’s a conversation, so idk. Maybe two attempted to join the herd but saw the drama llama and ran off?
Kittehserf:
Please, can we start a kickstarter for that? I’d help fund that. I also may have to use that in D&D. I can always use a good name for a pub.
Argenti:
Ah, roger. Your herd is the trollies. Ok… well, still one then. I’m having a hard time typing this in English, after watching a movie in Chinese. My grammar is being thought in Chinese.