Looking through the search terms people have used to get to my blog, I can’t help but feel a little sad, even a tiny bit guilty.
Clearly the searchers who came to Man Boobz looking for information about “airport lesbians” or “sexual spanking in animal kingdom” or even “all metaphors of bread” were likely to be a bit disappointed when they got here and discovered what the blog was really about. I’ve written about this once before.
But today, as a sort of public service, I’d like to see if I can help out some of the hapless searchers who’ve come to Man Boobz by providing answers to, or at least some sort of opinions about, their more puzzling queries. Just so you know, these are all real. I’ve left out the most perverse ones.
why women spoil easier than men
Fewer preservatives?
why do girls like animals
Because animals are awesome? (Except bedbugs. And lice. Not fond of bugs in general.)
famous pople wirh cats
Obviously that second word is a typo. Here you go.
kittens in war
stefan molyneux is an idiot
Yes he is.
want does a slut want
Pretty much what we all want, I’m guessing: Good friends, a decent job, a nice place to live, a bowl of snacks, a subscription to Netflix, and regular consensual sex with cool people.
do women love sperm
You’re going to have to determine this on a case by case basis.
do military guys hate eating pussy
You’re going to have to determine this on a case by case basis too.
women are just holes
I am going to have to disagree with you on this one, bud. I think you have women confused with sponges.
Here’s are some women. (I’m not quite sure what they find so funny.)
Here’s a sponge.
Sorry, here’s a sponge.
Happy to help!
no sympathy for lonely women
Huh. That seems a little dickish, dude.
i detest women
Yeah, we get it.
i hate women so much
We get it. WE GET IT.
i’m a straight man who hates women
Yeah, seriously. WE GOT IT.
i hate women and i don’t respect them
What the fuck, man.
why do i hate women
I don’t know, dude. But at least you’re asking the question.
how to halve your vagina-age
Maybe have it wear a jaunty hat?
what happens to women butt as they age
Women’s butts build cocoons, and transform into beautiful butt butterflies!
what do men think about periods
Speaking for myself, I find them useful to end sentences with. Semicolons are much more interesting; trust me on this one!
the west is a cunt controlled matriarchy
I’m going to say no to that one.
show mewhere tofindyoung females tohavesexwith
No.
breeding european women
I think you might be looking for Stormfront, not Man Boobz.
when do guys pour their sperms?
I … don’t know? Is sperm pouring even a thing? Is this what the cool kids are into today? I feel so old.
how make a tide penis
No. First you need to ask yourself “why make a tide penis?” Actually, before you ask that, maybe you could explain to me what a “tide penis” is in the first place. Actually, scratch that. I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know.
ugly girls eating cream
Can’t help you there, but here are some sad women eating ice cream. There seem to be as many stock photos of this old trope as there are of Women Laughing Alone With Salad.
why men should not have cats
Wait, what? What are you talking about? GET THE HELL OFF MY BLOG.
The worst kind of rule 34 stuff aside from the rapey and hateful kind: any rule 34 stuff that exploits cartoon/game characters that many people grow up with. Once I accidentally saw rule 34 terribleness involving Sonic the Hedgehog characters. I will never be able to unsee that.
I wonder if whoever’s into that gets plane costumes? Aluminiumies instead of furries.
Apparently “Messerschmitt 109” is another phrase that wouldn’t pass the Deviantart Challenge.
(The Deviantart Challenge requires you to search a two-word phrase on Deviantart without turning up furries or porn.)
I’ve never quite recovered from running across Care Bears porn on Weeping Cock. That whole LJ is an homage to Rule 34.
Um…those planes are pretty sexy and all. But they seem to be lacking something…like…
Wings?
Wings might block your view of the aluminum boobs. Then again, I guess the artist could just draw boobs on the wings too.
It’d be hard to hide those aluminum boobs!
But, then again, you’d need some massive wings to get those tail sections into the air.
Don’t look at the results for “rule 34 helicopter”. I am scarred for life.
The most amazing part of that link is the comments.
Yes.
Yes let’s discuss the technical aspects of these planes, and what model and make they are.
Ah, sex. Fun times for all!
Well, so long as they’re having fun.
After the furniture porn site, all bets are off, really.
Was it “Slave Bear of Care-A-Lot”?
Those anthropomorphized plane women have really unrealistic body proportions.
That’s all I’m going to say about that.
RE: CassandraSays
I just want to know if the people who’re into that ever attempt to fuck actual planes, because it could make for the funniest arrest scenario ever.
Considering the stories my roommate, who’s a civilian worker with the cops, has told me about various arrests, I would bet anything that this has happened. I mean, if dude can get arrested throwing a turtle through the windshield, and Florida man can be arrested for “everything,” surely someone has tried to fuck a plane.
I’ve never quite recovered from running across Care Bears porn on Weeping Cock.
OH MAN I REMEMBER THAT!
You know what those planes remind me of? The weasels from Who Framed Roger Rabbit.
Thank you SO MUCH for that mental image, katz. Thanks a lot.
(BTW, the Borgcritter story got posted! Not sure if you saw it or not.)
@katz
*casually scoots away to waste time finding out what phrases won’t result in porn*.
@kiwi girl
::tries to resist urge to look at ‘rule 34 helicopter’.
@auggz
O_o that sounds so weird.
DON’T GOOGLE IT MARIE
WE LOVE YOU
The only time I’ve ever won was “Islamic tile.”
I lost with “Vladimir Putin.” Predictable, really.
@LBT
OH CRAP NOW I’M EVEN MORE TEMPTED!
Memo to the weird dude who drew that airplane ‘toon: If you’re gonna draw planes with boobs, try making them anatomically correct, at least. No one has a pair that sit right on top of her collarbones.
RE: katz
I lost with “Vladimir Putin.” Predictable, really.
This made me laugh, and then I felt bad.
Re: Marie
NOOOOOOO
… what about mango porn?
O_o :is surprised:
I’m so, so sorry to be posting this:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2000899/Man-admits-having-sex-with-1000-cars.html
Money quote: “There have been certain cars that attracted me and I would wait until night time, creep up to them and just hug and kiss them.”
😯
It’s the doing it to other people’s cars or ones in showrooms that gets me. I mean EWWWW I hope he takes a cleaning cloth …