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Search Term Extravaganza Part 2: All Your Questions Answered!

The Searchers: Scanning the horizon for signs of "airport lesbians."
The Searchers: Scanning the horizon for signs of “airport lesbians.”

Looking through the search terms people have used to get to my blog, I can’t help but feel a little sad, even a tiny bit guilty.

Clearly the searchers who came to Man Boobz looking for information about “airport lesbians” or “sexual spanking in animal kingdom” or even “all metaphors of bread” were likely to be a bit disappointed when they got here and discovered what the blog was really about. I’ve written about this once before.

But today, as a sort of public service, I’d like to see if I can help out some of the hapless searchers who’ve come to Man Boobz by providing answers to, or at least some sort of opinions about, their more puzzling queries. Just so you know, these are all real. I’ve left out the most perverse ones.

why women spoil easier than men

Fewer preservatives?

why do girls like animals

Because animals are awesome? (Except bedbugs. And lice. Not fond of bugs in general.)

famous pople wirh cats

Obviously that second word is a typo. Here you go.

Famous Pope With Cat
Famous Pope With Cat

kittens in war

Kitten in war
Kitten in war

stefan molyneux is an idiot

Yes he is.

want does a slut want

Pretty much what we all want, I’m guessing: Good friends, a decent job, a nice place to live, a bowl of snacks, a subscription to Netflix, and regular consensual sex with cool people.

do women love sperm

You’re going to have to determine this on a case by case basis.

do military guys hate eating pussy

You’re going to have to determine this on a case by case basis too.

women are just holes

I am going to have to disagree with you on this one, bud. I think you have women confused with sponges.

Here’s are some women. (I’m not quite sure what they find so funny.)

women-laughing-4

Here’s a sponge.

elamheadphones

Sorry, here’s a sponge.

sponge

Happy to help!

no sympathy for lonely women

Huh. That seems a little dickish, dude.

i detest women

Yeah, we get it.

i hate women so much

We get it. WE GET IT.

i’m a straight man who hates women

Yeah, seriously. WE GOT IT.

i hate women and i don’t respect them

What the fuck, man.

why do i hate women

I don’t know, dude. But at least you’re asking the question.

how to halve your vagina-age

Maybe have it wear a jaunty hat?

what happens to women butt as they age

Women’s butts build cocoons, and transform into beautiful butt butterflies!

what do men think about periods

Speaking for myself, I find them useful to end sentences with. Semicolons are much more interesting; trust me on this one!

the west is a cunt controlled matriarchy

I’m going to say no to that one.

show mewhere tofindyoung females tohavesexwith

No.

breeding european women

I think you might be looking for Stormfront, not Man Boobz.

when do guys pour their sperms?

I … don’t know? Is sperm pouring even a thing? Is this what the cool kids are into today? I feel so old.

how make a tide penis

No. First you need to ask yourself “why make a tide penis?” Actually, before you ask that, maybe you could explain to me what a “tide penis” is in the first place. Actually, scratch that. I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know.

ugly girls eating cream

Can’t help you there, but here are some sad women eating ice cream. There seem to be as many stock photos of this old trope as there are of Women Laughing Alone With Salad.

emotional-woman-eating-ice-creamice-cream-in-bed-001article-2021454-0D4493AC00000578-323_468x313

why men should not have cats

Wait, what? What are you talking about? GET THE HELL OFF MY BLOG.

368 Comments
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katz
10 years ago

How about the Pig War? I guess we’d have to figure out if it was a sow or a boar…

Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

Well, the Boer war was surely started by some woman asking her husband for nicer things // better living conditions. The US civil war was probably started by liberals in general, though we know they’re all manginas and white knights, so really, women started it.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Argenti, yeah, I know he has, and that’s what’s irritating me, because it’s irrelevant to the point about MRAs blaming women for war.

katz
10 years ago

Don’t forget all those women abolitionists, Argenti.

skybison
skybison
10 years ago

Don’t forget the world war one was a feminist conspiracy to trick men into letting women vote and steal men’s jobs in factorys.

…I wouldn’t be suprised if that’s an actual MRA talking point.

emilygoddess
10 years ago

Manboobz is getting some love over in r/mr.

LOL.

OMG, this comment:

Is it that women are treated like children, or treated like royalty? Both women and royalty:
Are barely punished for their crimes (if at all)
Have another class of people who are indoctrinated with the idea that it is their role to protect them to the death
Get everyone else to pay for their things
Don’t have to work and earn a living just to survive.
Just to name a few.

Because none of those things is true of children. Manlogic!

I love how they’re focusing all their disagreement on how terrible David is, when he didn’t even write the comment they’re so het up about. It’s almost a pleasant change from their usual “find a woman to blame” mode.

Ally S
10 years ago

In that Reddit thread cloudiah linked to:

manboobz is the worst advocate for misandry masquerading as feminism since Valerie Solanas.

*spits out imaginary drink*

kittehserf
10 years ago

Royalty isn’t generic; its role varies hugely across cultures and ages. There have been divine monarchs with huge powers or none, and being royal doesn’t mean being a ruler; royal families can live physically privileged but entirely restricted lives, sometimes literally as prisoners. I suspect that when someone trots out the royalty trope they’re thinking of an absolute monarch – and that term’s misleading anyway, because their theoretical power (ie. unlimited by law) was far from absolute in reality.

Just another subject to add to the long list of “things these dickwads know nothing about”.

Skye
Skye
10 years ago

Going back to the search terms, what on earth is an “airport lesbian”? Other than lesbians using airports like humans of any other orientation, I just don’t get it. Is this a manosphere thing?

LBT
LBT
10 years ago

Maybe airport lesbians cruise for tricks in airports? Don’t look at me, I avoid airports like the PLAGUE.

Ally S
10 years ago

“Airport lesbian” sounds like a search term for a kind of androcentric, objectifying lesbian porn whose setting is in an airport. It’s certainly bizarre, but I’m rarely surprised by things like that these days.

Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

“manboobz is the worst advocate for misandry masquerading as feminism since Valerie Solanas.”

WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN?!

LBT
LBT
10 years ago

Airport lesbians are able to take off and soar into the air, and they live on rocket fuel.

Also they always, ALWAYS lose your bags.

Robert
Robert
10 years ago

Argenti, thank the FSM you do not understand it. MRA-speak is the Necronomicon of gender politics, except less well written.

I’d attempt an explanation, but I can’t afford another SAN roll right now.

LBT
LBT
10 years ago

RE: auggziliary

Huh. The human libido is an amazing thing.

kittehserf
10 years ago

😯

I just hope I can unsee that.

Marie
10 years ago

@Auggz

How do you find such…weird …pictures?

Marie
10 years ago

@Auggz

I should have known. Last time I ended up searching rule 34 + word I got some pretty weird results, even with safe-search on 😛

Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

That was odd, to say the least.

LBT
LBT
10 years ago

Enh, doesn’t shock me, but I’ve been mocking shit like Cockrub Warriors on Mars. I’d be impressed if something managed to surprise me.

kittehserf
10 years ago

I’d say I was surprised, rather than shocked; it was a mixture of “this weird fetish isn’t hurting anyone” and “who the fuck has to make planes into fuckable female things???”

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

I just want to know if the people who’re into that ever attempt to fuck actual planes, because it could make for the funniest arrest scenario ever. The cops that responded to that would be able to top even ER stories.

katz
10 years ago

Um.

Um.

Ally S
10 years ago

What on god’s green earth? X_X That is so…weird.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Rule 34 really is just as universal as death and taxes.