Looking through the search terms people have used to get to my blog, I can’t help but feel a little sad, even a tiny bit guilty.
Clearly the searchers who came to Man Boobz looking for information about “airport lesbians” or “sexual spanking in animal kingdom” or even “all metaphors of bread” were likely to be a bit disappointed when they got here and discovered what the blog was really about. I’ve written about this once before.
But today, as a sort of public service, I’d like to see if I can help out some of the hapless searchers who’ve come to Man Boobz by providing answers to, or at least some sort of opinions about, their more puzzling queries. Just so you know, these are all real. I’ve left out the most perverse ones.
why women spoil easier than men
Fewer preservatives?
why do girls like animals
Because animals are awesome? (Except bedbugs. And lice. Not fond of bugs in general.)
famous pople wirh cats
Obviously that second word is a typo. Here you go.
kittens in war
stefan molyneux is an idiot
Yes he is.
want does a slut want
Pretty much what we all want, I’m guessing: Good friends, a decent job, a nice place to live, a bowl of snacks, a subscription to Netflix, and regular consensual sex with cool people.
do women love sperm
You’re going to have to determine this on a case by case basis.
do military guys hate eating pussy
You’re going to have to determine this on a case by case basis too.
women are just holes
I am going to have to disagree with you on this one, bud. I think you have women confused with sponges.
Here’s are some women. (I’m not quite sure what they find so funny.)
Here’s a sponge.
Sorry, here’s a sponge.
Happy to help!
no sympathy for lonely women
Huh. That seems a little dickish, dude.
i detest women
Yeah, we get it.
i hate women so much
We get it. WE GET IT.
i’m a straight man who hates women
Yeah, seriously. WE GOT IT.
i hate women and i don’t respect them
What the fuck, man.
why do i hate women
I don’t know, dude. But at least you’re asking the question.
how to halve your vagina-age
Maybe have it wear a jaunty hat?
what happens to women butt as they age
Women’s butts build cocoons, and transform into beautiful butt butterflies!
what do men think about periods
Speaking for myself, I find them useful to end sentences with. Semicolons are much more interesting; trust me on this one!
the west is a cunt controlled matriarchy
I’m going to say no to that one.
show mewhere tofindyoung females tohavesexwith
No.
breeding european women
I think you might be looking for Stormfront, not Man Boobz.
when do guys pour their sperms?
I … don’t know? Is sperm pouring even a thing? Is this what the cool kids are into today? I feel so old.
how make a tide penis
No. First you need to ask yourself “why make a tide penis?” Actually, before you ask that, maybe you could explain to me what a “tide penis” is in the first place. Actually, scratch that. I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know.
ugly girls eating cream
Can’t help you there, but here are some sad women eating ice cream. There seem to be as many stock photos of this old trope as there are of Women Laughing Alone With Salad.
why men should not have cats
Wait, what? What are you talking about? GET THE HELL OFF MY BLOG.
I was thinking the guys I see at veterinary clinics and wildlife rehab centers. My dad used to be a farmer- gross!
Oh my god, that’s horrible. My babies are 11 months old, I can’t imagine having to bury one, let alone having to allow an authoritarian bully lay them to rest.
auggziliary, I’m pretty sure those first two sad women are the same woman.
According to MRAs, women make men go to war to impress the women and to money to buy the women all the luxury goods the women demanded.
Who knew bon bons and scented candles were that expensive?
All this stuff about women not fighting on the front lines never seems to have applied to beyond the frontlines. Plenty many women fought (and died)with or alongside the various resistance movements in WWII in the SOE etc. Trained and sent by their country.
Yes, he does. I’d say it looks like his best buddy just died, but odds are good that’s exactly what happened.
And he appears to be feeding milk to the kitten. The whole photo is just so sad.
Major groans at “Fish Bowl.” What an amusingly awful pun.
Sadly, apparently many GIs brought back war booty for their wives, like dresses and hose and other material goods, and many other GIs didn’t, so some of the women who didn’t receive war booty gifts thought much of that. The narrative that army wives want material goods got enough play that Bill Mauldin picked it up in a couple of cartoons, which is where I came across it. (Long story short — Mauldin was a cartoonist with the 45th Infantry Division in the war, and had his finger on the pulse of the GI.)
Because, of course, women are people, and sometimes people are shortsighted, greedy and/or jealous.
Crap. Bill Mauldin.
I borked the link. Which, of course, means that I axed a Special Prosecutor for the President.
Either that or I closed the tag wrong.
Or to protect “their” women from the enemy. Either way, it’s “we hunted the enemy for you!”
I feel a little odd posting this amid serious conversations about war, but Puppy Bowl X is going to have a live musical performance by Keyboard Cat and I’m officially stoked. A cat fake keyboard playing on TV is truly a great thing.
The new Keyboard Cat is clearly going to bring it.
http://img2-3.timeinc.net/people/i/2014/pets/news/140113/keyboard-cat-600.jpg
OMG Keyboard Cat!!!
I’m sorry, that was an insensitive time for me to mention that.
They must think we’re all Helen of Sparta, or something.
You’d think they’d realize that if a woman just wants a new dress, there are easier ways to get that than making her husband go to war. Then again these are MRAs we’re talking about, logic has never been their strong point. They seem to operate on a sort of reverse Occam’s Razor principle where the most complicated and unlikely answer is assumed to be the correct one.
Are we still posting weird search terms? Because I have some
i need a comic idea based on the erinyes
hi school taboo sleepover
funny dogs on farms pics
mcqueen body painting
did erinyes have a husband and kids ?
rain and funerals
asexuality is fake (*twitches*)
deathless emotion
masha scream
holding a fox skull
they still suspect nothing
have a paint fight
bizarre sexual rituals
lsp i know you want this body but you can’t have it
I am amused that apparently someone once found my blog by copying and pasting the entire URL of one of my posts into a search engine. XD;
Oh, don’t be silly. I was a little toasted last night, I shouldn’t have brought it up.
I feel very weird for saying this, but those sad ice cream eating women are pretty.
The last one looks like she’s trying to read tea leaves, but with the dregs of ice cream at the bottom of the carton instead. Who knew that was a thing?
I see praline fragments and dollops of caramel in your future!
If tea leaves in Harry Potter can reveal that someone is a sexy, sexy werewolf, what sort of dark sexy secret is revealed at the bottom of a bowl of ice cream? That you’re going to be Mrs. Weasley?
Depends on whether or not you’re lactose intolerant.
@Argenti:
Sorry bout the teal deer, I was in a rambly mood. I promise to help with zir care, and by extension the herd.
On a really good news note, my brother just finished Navy boot camp, which he has been working ridiculously hard at. Just got off the phone congratulating him. Couldn’t be prouder.
Random, but teal kitty is cute.
Huh.. there seems to be a lot of misogynists that are bad poets, breaks my heart lol.
Also cats are outstanding creatures, I can see why people would be afraid of their excellency 😉
Manboobz is getting some love over in r/mr.
LOL.
Catgirl: Women starting wars, what? Makes no sense.
Yes it does. People start wars. Women are people. I can name three women who started wars. Golda Meir, Indira Ghandi, Margaret Thatcher. One can debate the neccessity of the conflicts the first to initiated, but Thatchers was purely one of national ego.