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Men’s Rights Redditors confused, angered by random woman’s obvious joke about spermjacking some dude

Dorothy Parker would like to remind you that women are also capable of making jokes.
Frustrated Dorothy Parker would like to remind you that women are also capable of making jokes.

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Yet more proof that Men’s Rights activists live in an imaginary misandrist dystopia of their own making: this post on Reddit, which has the Men’s Righsters there in a tizzy:

567  Heard this gem yesterday at a college. Stay safe, men! (self.MensRights)  submitted 1 day ago by LoudMatt  Thought MensRights would find this interesting.  I teach a class at a small community college and yesterday I was set up at a student activities fair. At the table next to me, one of the staff (not a student, mind you), a chubby, cute woman in her early to mid 20s was talking to two students in their late teens and said (this is verbatim, btw):  "If I don't have a baby by 28, I'm just going to go to some bar and get pregnant from some guy. It's easier and cheaper and I'll get a check too!"  A classy role model right there. Stay safe, boys.      145 comments

Yeah, fellas, assuming that this even happened, I’m pretty sure what we’re dealing with is what the rest of us human beings call a “joke.” A dumb joke, but a joke nonetheless. This young lady, I feel confident in saying, does not actually intend to spermjack some innocent lad so she can spend the next 18-plus years of her life raising a child herself while trying to squeeze child support out of someone who hates her.

But don’t tell that to the Men’s Rightsers, who assume the worst about this young woman — and then some.

springy 40 points 1 day ago (45|5)  And then when she is a month pregnant, and reality sets in, she will find some sucker that looks like he has good financial prospects, sleep with him and say "You are going to be a father - let's get married". He will do the honorable thing, and then two years later she will kick him out, and she will keep the child, his house, his car, and his savings. He lose everything, including his dignity. He will only get to keep two things: regrets, and child support bills.

Indeed, some of the regulars there are so angry about it they literally want to get the young woman fired or at the very least admonished for making such a terrible, terrible comment in front of young, impressionable students who, I guess, have never heard a joke before.

Another commenter wonders how it is possible for a chubby woman to also be cute. Because fat women are hambeasts AMIRITE FELLAS HIGH FIVE!!!1!

If you scroll down far enough in the comments you will find some Men’s Rights Redditors wondering if maybe, perhaps, possibly, the woman might be making a joke. But these aren’t the comments getting the upvotes. In the Men’s Rights subreddit, anti-woman hysteria trumps rational skepticism pretty much all day, every day.

Q: How many Men’s Rights Activists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: MISANDRY! SPERMJACKING! MALE DISPOSABILITY! THAT’S NOT FUNNY!

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Bina
Bina
10 years ago

How many MRAs does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, and it’s misandry to even ask. Do it yourself, you lazy bonbon-munching bitch!

skybison
skybison
10 years ago

Question: Has spermjacking ever happened to anyone?, Ever? Cause I really doubt it’s a commonplace thing.

Also even if the men going broke because of child support is as big of an issue as they say, it’s not that hard to think of solutions that don’t involve hating women. Like calling for more government assistance for single parents. That sounds like a reasonable alternative to me. Hell I’m for doing that anyway, I’ve known single parents who try to raise children on working class salaries, it ain’t easy.

But MRA’s don’t want to fix problems, even when they only exist in their heads, they just want to be angry.

vaiyt
10 years ago

This comment section is bloody hilarious. I have to thank you all for bringing a smile to my face.

Shaun DarthBatman Day
10 years ago

Not reading a damn thing, not getting triggered today, just dropping brain bleach for anyone else who needs it.

http://themetapicture.com/what-to-do-with-a-kitten-sized-chair/

kittehserf
10 years ago

DIES OF CUTE

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
10 years ago

A game of claws, the keratin throne?

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
10 years ago

The compact fluorescent light bulb, invented by Edison labs, which is inefficient and has a short life span, is misandry!

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
10 years ago

ooo just thought of another one:

How many MRAs does it take to change a lightbulb?
A fish.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Hey speaking of lightbulbs and such, anyone recommend a budget-ish compact digital camera? I managed to kill my Olympus last night. 🙁

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

If feminists cared about men they’d have changed the lightbulb already.

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
10 years ago

kitteh – what’s your price range? And these days, cellphone cameras are pretty good.

tinyorc
10 years ago

“If I don’t have a baby by 28, I’m just going to go to some bar and get pregnant from some guy. It’s easier and cheaper and I’ll get a check too!”

Further proof that MRAs never actually speak to women, but possibly also never speak to people IRL in general. Seriously. Nobody speaks like this. If you’re going to make up scaremongering quotes from evil proto-spermjackers, at least make them sound like natural snippets of conversation instead of stilted stock phrases from a MRA fever dream.

Also, this idea that getting a regular child support check is akin to winning the lottery is just absurd. Child support money goes towards feeding, clothing and educating a small human who is now in your care. That’s why it’s called “child support” and not the “bonbons and scented candles supplement”.

Kim
Kim
10 years ago

Question: Has spermjacking ever happened to anyone?, Ever? Cause I really doubt it’s a commonplace thing.

I doubt it was common even when it was more understandable to do – ie tricking a man into marriage when women had few options besides marriage.

Bu the tvtropes page on it http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheBabyTrap says
“The CDC’s 2010 Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey found that approximately 4.8% of women and 8.7% of men had a sexual partner who tried to get them pregnant or get pregnant against their will.” though they also say it’s much more common in abusive couples, and don’t mention the % of those that were random one night stands.

Apparantly it’s a standard of the Maury Povich show, but that is probably as real as WWE.

catgirl
catgirl
10 years ago

Hey, guys, this is OT, but I was wondering if I could get advice on something.

I told my bf I didn’t want to talk with him for a while because I’ve been having a rough two weeks with nightmares regarding my PTSD. When I told him some of them, which are usually elaborate and disturbing, he said they usually don’t mean anything but maybe my therapist would like to hear about it because “they love that.”
As the conversion continued I found myself crying because I don’t know when the hurt will stop. He told me it never would. It made me so upset that I told him Ididn’t want his opinion any longer. He tried to justify it instead, saying he hurt still from his gf breaking up with him 5 years ago. I told him that’s not even close to being the same as rape. I suggested we take a break.He said he disagreed and that isolating would be bad for me right now (huge qualifier: I have quite a few friends in the city I’m currently in and usually see them a few times a week, plus got the job I wanted and am training for a race in the next month).
Everything about this convo really rubbed me the wrong way. I even told him at one point that with the things he was saying, it felt like he was jabbing a knife in my wounds and tearing them around and he went on about how he’s not like all the mean who mistreated me, and really a good guy. But you know what? They thought they were “good guys” too….
He ended the conversion dating he was tired and needed sleep (irony, right, since ive hardly slept a wink all night). Oh, and I forgot. He made a joke early in the night that I would be taking about him in therapy today. It’s almost like he fucking planned this.

Does anyone have any advice in how I should address this and what I should say? Or am I just over reacting?

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

You’re not overreacting. Whether or not he’s acting this way out of some sort of trauma of his own, he’s being horrible to you. The part where he told you that the bad feelings will never stop was particularly unacceptable.

Dunno what to say as far as advice is concerned. My first instinct is firmly leaning towards DTMFA, but obviously I don’t know much about the situation.

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
10 years ago

I’m with cassandra, an emotionally support partner wouldn’t trivialise any support (therapist!) that you find useful.

This bit from your post:

As the conversion continued I found myself crying because I don’t know when the hurt will stop. He told me it never would.

is making my spidey senses tingle.

I wasn’t there, I don’t know what/how things were said, but that bit sounds very negative on his part.

If you’re having a bad time of things, and he’s making it worse and you don’t want him around for the time being….

I suggested we take a break.He said he disagreed and that isolating would be bad for me right now (huge qualifier: I have quite a few friends in the city I’m currently in and usually see them a few times a week, plus got the job I wanted and am training for a race in the next month).

That bit you have written makes it sound like you’re actually only going to isolate yourself from *him*. Temporarily. Is there any good reason that he would have to be concerned about you “isolating yourself”?

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

That too. If someone tells you that they want a break from you, “I don’t agree” is not an acceptable response, and neither is “let me explain how I know what you need better than you do”. He sounds really manipulative, and my spidey senses are tingling too.

catgirl
catgirl
10 years ago

In the past I had a bf who would always tell me to wait a few days after saying I wanted to break up because I was not in my right mind and thus not capable of making a rational decision. Over the months I built so much resentment against him, and I toldmyself I would never let someone discredit me based on mental illness again. So this whole conversation made me so uncomfortable.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

If you’re feeling uncomfortable, trust your gut. Even if it turns out that he isn’t being manipulative on purpose or that he wasn’t being intentionally hurtful, if you feel like you need space, that is a thing that you have a right to. Plus, the space might make it easier for you to figure out what’s going on as far as his behavior is concerned.

catgirl
catgirl
10 years ago

I’ve self isolated in the past. The thing is, I’m currently staying with family so that bit’s not possible. They “bug” me if they think I’m even trying it. I put “bug” in quotes because it’s not annoying. Also I have a pet cat that follows me around a lot.
I just have had a lot of concerns with current bf. He’s described me as crazy and manipulative but “in a good way.” When I told him that language was hurtful, he told me they had positive connotations to HIM. I told him that’s not how language works. I told him there are words with positive connotations that mean things similar to those, like influential or eccentric. But he keeps using crazy even after I told him it hurt.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

OK, spidey senses going off like a fire alarm now. Do you want time away from him? Because if you do, you’re entitled to have it. Do you want to break up with him? Because again, if you do, the fact that he doesn’t want you to is irrelevant.

At best this guy is as sensitive as a deck chair. At worst, he’s manipulating you. Either way, it seems like being around him is making you unhappy.

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
10 years ago

Honey, it sounds like you need to get yourself into a better emotional and cognitive safe space. Your therapist should be the main one to help you with that. 🙂

From what you have written, it sounds like your current BF has at least some tendencies to trivialise the issues you’re trying to deal with. It also sounds like his trivialising is hurtful to you. Given that you have a therapist, it is entirely appropriate to discuss this behaviour with them (assuming you may not have done this already or, if you have, you may not have indicated to them just how distressing you are finding this behaviour).

Also, this:

He tried to justify it instead, saying he hurt still from his gf breaking up with him 5 years ago.

is not your fault, nor should it be your problem. I have no idea how serious that past relationship was for him, but if he’s still having that level of issue from a break-up that occurred half a decade ago, that’s not typical. He should be able to emotionally separate the two of you (past gf, current gf). I’m not saying that this is the reason he said what he did, but this type of comment is a way of getting the attention inappropriately turned back to him (you’re hurting, but look so is he!!!!!!).

As I said before, I can only read what you’ve written and I could be taking the wrong interpretation on this. However, your therapist is a neutral party whose only interest is getting you better (hooray!) so you have an unbiased person that you can talk to about this (hooray!).

I hope you feel better soon. Sending positive thoughts your way.

catgirl
catgirl
10 years ago

http://freyavelander.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Norwegian_Forest_Cat_by_shalotka.jpg
(Not my kitty but picture is funny).
Thanks for the advice. I think I am going to ask for space today.

Also…kitties4everyone. Furrinati 4lyfe.

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
10 years ago

I just read your last comment, which was a cross-post while I was writing the one above. Okay, this guy is completely disrespectful of your feelings.

This is the sort of language that’s used to destablise a person:

He’s described me as crazy and manipulative but “in a good way.”

because how the fuck can the term “manipulative” ever be viewed as “in a good way”? This is confused messaging, which destablises.

This beyond disrespectful:

But he keeps using crazy even after I told him it hurt.

Let me be clear. After person A tells person B that X phrase hurts them, and B uses that phrase, B is using that phrase *to be hurtful*.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

That thing where a woman says “that thing you just said hurt me” and her partner then says “yeah well you saying that hurts me more” is such a classic, shitty relationship pattern. Some men may not even be aware that they’re doing it, but discounting their partner’s feelings and trying to make her feel bad for telling him to stop hurting her still isn’t OK. It’s sometimes possible to teach someone not to do that any more, but honestly, if you don’t want to or don’t feel up to doing so, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s not your job to teach him how to be a good partner, and from what you’re saying it doesn’t sound like he has any interest in learning.

Trust your feelings.