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Yet more proof that Men’s Rights activists live in an imaginary misandrist dystopia of their own making: this post on Reddit, which has the Men’s Righsters there in a tizzy:
Yeah, fellas, assuming that this even happened, I’m pretty sure what we’re dealing with is what the rest of us human beings call a “joke.” A dumb joke, but a joke nonetheless. This young lady, I feel confident in saying, does not actually intend to spermjack some innocent lad so she can spend the next 18-plus years of her life raising a child herself while trying to squeeze child support out of someone who hates her.
But don’t tell that to the Men’s Rightsers, who assume the worst about this young woman — and then some.
Indeed, some of the regulars there are so angry about it they literally want to get the young woman fired or at the very least admonished for making such a terrible, terrible comment in front of young, impressionable students who, I guess, have never heard a joke before.
Another commenter wonders how it is possible for a chubby woman to also be cute. Because fat women are hambeasts AMIRITE FELLAS HIGH FIVE!!!1!
If you scroll down far enough in the comments you will find some Men’s Rights Redditors wondering if maybe, perhaps, possibly, the woman might be making a joke. But these aren’t the comments getting the upvotes. In the Men’s Rights subreddit, anti-woman hysteria trumps rational skepticism pretty much all day, every day.
Q: How many Men’s Rights Activists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: MISANDRY! SPERMJACKING! MALE DISPOSABILITY! THAT’S NOT FUNNY!
“I never considered how they would look when placed next to something “hurtful”. I never meant for anything to be “hurtful” anyway.”
Yes, I definitely misread those–sorry about that. I can see now that your intention was to help catgirl.
However, as others have explained, you need to switch methods (it seems you sort of already have) to have any chance of accomplishing what you intended. By this point, though, I recommend just asking some of the people here how best to be supportive of others.
I’d love to know if whoever did the casting for Snape had seen AR playing Mr Slope in Barchester? I’d swear those two are related.
I think it’s just because grouchy is his natural facial expression.
I made a cursory Google search, but failed. Damn that broken Pandagon archive. Amanda Marcotte had a post on her old pandagon site talking about Snape as a Nice Guy TM.
::snicker:: True!
I tripped over some blog or some such once, years ago, by someone who had a thing for AR’s earlobes. She reckoned they’d be all velvety. O_o
Cassandra — yes, yes I do. I’d have been absolutely mortified (ok, I still would be, though there are a select few people who might be able to talk me into folk dancing)
MEZ — still not getting that whether you meant it that way or not, that’s how it came off to a whole bunch of us.
Velvety earlobes? Does she think he’s a bunny?
“If she wants to salvage the relationship”
It seems to me she wants a boyfriend who will respect her feelings and her boundaries.
“She should trust her own judgement.” “I was discussing people never being able to know what they mean when they are making decisions based on confused feelings. Add a hurt/combative/whatever boyfriend in, and now we’ve doubled the possibilities of misunderstandings.”
The above quotes are contradictory. I really think you should go with the shorter one, MEZ.
No, she thinks he’s a beagle. 🙂
That would make a hilarious fan letter.
“Dear Alan. I have always loved you for your velvety earlobes. Your acting too, of course, but mostly the earlobes.”
Did someone say velvet earlobes?
Oops try again!
better?
Did someone tangle with a porcupine?
Puppy acupuncture? That dog does not look pleased at all.
Poor punctured Murphy!
Not a bunny or beagle, but how about this?
By Grabthar’s Hammer!
Those are definitely velvety ears.
@ scott1139
Are they contradictory? I don’t think that people are ever fully aware of everything that’s going on inside of their own heads. I think that we can to be influenced by many memories and emotions that we may not even be fully aware of. For example, as a parent, I try to ensure that my kids are securely emotionally attached, because a poor attachment style during infancy can carry over into adult relationships. It’s not a death sentence as people can, and do, change their attachment styles from unhealthy to healthy, (and from healthy to unhealthy if they are traumatized), but it’s just one example of the unconscious players that can influence our adult lives.
This doesn’t mean that people shouldn’t trust their own judgement. After all, trusting someone else’s judgment without question simply means trusting all the unconscious crap that’s floating around inside of the other person’s head!
I get that it’s how it came off. My apologizes, I’m trying to do better.
Oh, I found the URL to the Gottman Insititue; it’s http://www.gottmanblog.com/. Dr. Gottman has done a lot of good research on what makes relationships work, or fail.
Posting this here as a FYI for anyone interested: http://stoprelationshipabuse.org/educated/warning-signs-of-abuse/
There are other types of abuse besides physical abuse:
http://stoprelationshipabuse.org/educated/types-of-abuse/psychological-abuse/
http://stoprelationshipabuse.org/educated/types-of-abuse/verbal-abuse/
http://stoprelationshipabuse.org/educated/types-of-abuse/emotional-abuse/
@catgirl:
Glad you said what you felt needed saying! Also glad I can be of some help! Seconding what I think others said (tired and skimmed some of the last bits), keep us in the loop if you can, we’re more than happy to offer support. Ok, I cannot speak for others, but I’m assuming based off the responses you got before.
I also feel a lot safer here than I would in many meatspace places, and most internet places.
Kiwi girl — thanks for that, “so this was just posted on manboobz” gave me a needed lead in without having to say the abuse word and risk causing a defensive reaction. (It is not, afaik, physical abuse, which makes it harder to go “That’s some fucked up shit right there”, but I’m furious all the same, my “you do not fuck with my friends” princple has benn violated)
No, furious is wrong. Cold burning fury is closer.
“Are they contradictory?”
Yes. One is you telling catgirl to trust her own judgement and do what she feels is appropriate. The other is you telling catgirl that her judgement has been compromised and that she should wait before making any decisions.
Oh god, are you talking about catgirl? Well if it is abuse, then she should go over an exit plan with a domestic violence counselor, because “taking a break” does not exactly work with abusers. My relative, for example, has not been as lucky in love as I am. Telling her abuser that she has a chance of getting back together results in tons of drama llamas. I will only consider heavily helping her when she goes no-contact, which honestly is more for my safety than for anything else.
Thank you for the links, kiwi. Catgirl should read them, and maybe even consider taking this quiz; http://www.marriage-family-counseling.com/healthy-relationship-quiz.html. And talking to a domestic abuse counselor (not a regular one, whom are not always adequately trained in domestic violence), if she is worried.
The point is that abuse is part of a larger pattern, not isolated, but hurtful events. For example, “The following are common examples tactics that, when used as part of a pattern of behavior, may constitute psychological abuse.” Everyone says something hurtful at some point. The presence of one, or even several, red flags temporarily does not make him an abuser.
@scott1139
Ok.
I don’t think I can do anything all that tasty with mango. Because I have no sense of how it can be good (which isn’t the case with most things I don’t care for. I can cook with avocado, artichoke, etc.) I have no idea how to balance the flavors.
None of which has anything to do with anything, because the thing you accused her of being dramatic about was sharing her own experience of abuse. THAT is why everyone thinks it was inappropriate.
No folks, puppy likes the acupuncture. There are lots of cookies. Any displeasure is that the cookie doctor is taking his picture and not giving cookies.
I don’t think I can do anything all that tasty with mango. Because I have no sense of how it can be good (which isn’t the case with most things I don’t care for. I can cook with avocado, artichoke, etc.) I have no idea how to balance the flavors.
Fennel is the top note in what gets sold as, “sweet Italian sausage” in the US. Ouzo/arrack is based on anise (not Star Anise), which can taste like licorice. Of the three, I find licorice to be iffy, but the other flavors are nice; though they can be overpowering.