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So over on A Voice for Men, young Jason Gregory seems faintly jealous that young women who put up dating profiles online tend to get flooded with messages — and the occasional dick pic — from horny guys.
F]ree cock is everywhere. Men give it away like it’s worthless. … I doubt that it is unusual at all for a woman to get 300 messages in her inbox from men who are desperate for female affection, approval, and sex. There is no doubt in my mind that men send “dick-pics” and clamor, bother, and sometimes harass women for their affections and attentions.
But Jason feels no sympathy for young women who put up profiles hoping to meet some nice young fellow who’s also into Sherlock and Neil Gaiman and Indian food and instead get messages from guys who introduce themselves by expressing a desire to ejaculate in their hair.
No, Jason is angry because he’s convinced all these offers of “free cock” only serve to make the women of the world into snooty-stuck stuck-up so-and-sos who think they’re all that and a folder full of dick pics.
All you men who give it away, all you do is reinforce the entitlement mentality of women who believe that their being present is plenty. You reinforce the idea that women don’t owe anything to the relationship—that they deserve a free-ride of cocks and that they don’t even have to break a sweat.
Jason, I should add, means this last bit literally. He’s resentful that when he allegedly engages in the act of coitus he has to do all the work while his alleged partners allegedly lie there like inflatable love-dolls.
Anyhoo,.Jason has a plan to take these stuck-up ladies down a peg or two: A cock strike.
Yep, he wants men to start saying “no” to women who are interested in them, just to see how they like it. But he doesn’t want them to just say no. He wants them to be giant dicks about it.
Try telling a girl no. Tell her, after she makes it clear that she wants your cock, that you’re not interested in giving it to her. Tell her that she isn’t interesting, that her soul is dog-shit and that she has nothing to offer other than boobs and booty, that she is a piece of shit and a total failure as a human being, that you don’t find her attractive and that she isn’t even good enough to be a cum-bucket. Tell her that she is never going to be any good at sucking cock and that she needs to stop pretending that she is doing any favors and learn to compensate for her inadequacies by becoming “kinky.” Tell her that her vapid life of shoes and pop-culture and materialism are soulless pursuits of dog-shit. Watch what happens. If you Jez-ladies wanna know what “hostile” means, see this rejected woman.
Emphasis mine.
A Voice for Men, you may recall, sees itself as leading the most important civil rights movement of the 21st century. I am sure Jason Gregory’s post here will be remembered alongside Martin Luther King’s Letter from a Birmingham Jail as a classic in civil rights literature.
EDIT: I added a couple more “allegedlys” to a sentence I thought needed them.
I have been called out here for oppressive behaviours. During my time here I have expressed some really reprehensible classist attitudes that I, someone who has grown up with wealthy white parents working the “right” kind of upper-middle-class jobs, had never really questioned — attitudes that allowed me to take advantage of my wealth/class privilege without having to think about it too hard. I was contributing to and endorsing oppressive norms and I deserved to feel ashamed and uncomfortable when people pointed it out, because it was my actions, and not someone else calling attention to my actions, that was the ultimate cause. I hope I’m less of an ass now.
@Viscaria,
I know I said I was gonna take a break from MBs, and I feel like a bit of a wanker coming back, but I’ve had a lot of vodka and I really don’t want you to think I haven’t read/chuckled at your comment. I’m definitely gonna stop commenting soon…no really!
See, I can’t imagine seeming intimidating to anybody and I’m sure emilygoddess feels the same. Mostly I feel like I make lame jokes and crap points, and can’t shake the feeling that I’m pissing everybody off. (My problem I’m sure.)
Whilst we’re doing this, I think you’ve been here forever (is that just my bad memory?) and I always enjoy your very funny/interesting comments, again, yours is a name Mr M remembers. I think you is the fabulous. 🙂 sorry if I haven’t made that clear before.
Also, please call me Ophelia, it’s too long otherwise. 🙂
About MBs stuff generally:
I think the problem on MBs is that we can’t say everything we think in such a small space and often comments go unanswered. I certainly feel like I don’t answer/refer to as many comments as I’d like, but worry it would take over the thread/seem arrogant if I did. I presume others feel the same. Unfortunately, I think this can also have the side effect of people feeling ignored.
A while back we were shouting at a particular troll, and I must admit, I felt a bit ignored. (I made a really good joke too!) However, I think everyone was just doing what I do: Reading everyone’s comments, laughing, sharing some with hubby and commenting when I thought something had been left out. Ultimately, it felt horrible to be ignored, but I don’t think (?) that was the case.
Perhaps some people feel like they only get replied to when people criticise them for their language. That must be crap. I’m not sure what to do about that. We are not a collective, ignoring someone is not planned. (Unless I didn’t get that memo, in which case, poo to you collective MBs!)
I honestly still feel like the new girl and am surprised when people think I’ve been here a while, I think maybe some of us come off as more confident than we are.
I’ve lurked for, going on, a couple of years, commented (on and off) for perhaps 10 months and, to be honest, can’t remember who’s new/old etc (sorry). I do talk to a couple of Boobzers outside MBs, and I can see it can seem like a clique. The trouble is, where does friend end and clique begin?
Also@emilygoddess, I didn’t mean you’re scary, just that I was nervous, you’re lovely, sorry.
Really, v’ry, v’ry drunk now, hope all that makes sense/doesn’t offend.
Now, if anyone replies I really will have read and appreciated what you have written (unless you’re shouting at me, then I’m probably crying) but I think I’m going to take that lurk break now, no, really, definitely this time, you will not lure me back, I’m off!…
No really!
People are intimidated by me? But I’m intimidated by other people here! Have you seen some of you guys do formal logic?
Haha, this has happened to me too. I think you’re right that it’s not personal, it’s just the sheer volume of comments.
buttboy: But you know, I can just ignore that minority.
Because you aren’t doing it for real. You can ignore it because it’s not your life those assholes are assaulting, it’s a game you are playing to score points on feminists by pretending your little, “experiment” is dispostive for everyone.
When it’s in the midst of an actual pursuit of dates the dynamic is different. A lot of the “perfectly acceptable” replies get ugly when they get rejected. Others go apeshit with rage if they get blocked. Some will work to figure out who you are in other places and harass you there.
But you, you didn’t actually engage in any of that. You didn’t try to live the actual experience. You set up a vague profile, and then let it run for a day or two and decided all the people who say they are harassed, abused, stalked were lying just like you knew they were
That’s the most accurate sort of sciency, it’s the truthiest.
re calling out: One of the things which amuses me (in a wry sort of way) is what’s really going on is flip sides of the same coin, but with different effect.
Person A says something which Group B is offended by.
Person A feels offended.
Person A insists that Group B stop saying that thing which offends Person A.
So because Person A’s feelings were hurt Group B is supposed to do two things. Ignore that what Person A is saying is hurting the feelings of others, while bending over backwards to not hurt Person A’s feelings.
All so Person A can hurt the feelings of multiple people.
This is what destroys community. It’s why comment sections need moderation. If anyone can say anything, then no one is going to have any fun, because someone will always be pissing in the punch.
re water torture/water boarding. They are the same thing. The idea of the “slow drip” comes from poor descriptions, with language of, “pouring water on the face through a rag”, and the like.
And the idea of, “it’s not so bad” is almost immediate. The, “I’m about to die” is what takes 15-20 seconds.
When I’m being active I’m a ridiculously prolific commenter, because of how I do it (and I know it’s not for everyone).
I treat each page of comments as a discrete whole. I work my way down, and use notepad to reply to things. When I get to the end I post all the one’s which aren’t redundant. Then I move to the next page.
And even doing that I don’t comment to everyone. I know that I’ve had LOTS of things I thought would get reply vanish, so yes, even I sometimes feel ignored (well I am ignored pretty often, by the MRM/PUA/misogynist idjuts; that is both frustrating, and ego-boosting).
Sorry, didn’t mean to over emphasise the ‘being ignored’ bit, I honestly feel really included here. I was just meaning that I think ALL commenters here might get a bit lost in the crowd sometimes.
Hang on!!! I sees what you’re up to emilygoddess/Auggziliary/Pecunium,
You knows I is drunk posting and you thinks you can lure me back in to make a fool of myself!
It ain’t’n’t gonna work I tells ya’! Nope, I refuses to do the stupids on Man Boobz whilst drunk posting, I is definitely takin’ a MBs break…right abooooouuuuut….
NOW!
::shuffles away singing a sea shanty::
Sometimes I’ve felt ignored here as well, but in my case, those feelings are a result of all sorts of emotional problems I’ve always had – none of which have been caused by anyone here. I don’t think I have borderline personality disorder, but very often I worry about people ignoring me because they think I’m “horrible”, “unlikable”, “worthless”, “disgusting”, etc. even when I know there’s nothing that indicates they think I’m reprehensible. This happens to me in offline interactions as well. I would reduce it to self-hatred, but somehow that doesn’t seem to be a completely accurate description.
I hope none of what I’m saying will pressure people here to respond to me more often; I need to solve my own problems.
That comment ended kind of abruptly, so I just want to say that despite feeling “left out” sometimes (which is not this community’s fault), this is my favorite online space. I never knew an online space could have such a positive impact on my life until I started hanging out here. And although I wish this place had more TWOC like me, I appreciate how diverse the community is.
I’ve had what I thought were really funny comments ignored as well. Then I reflect on the fact that 6 pages of comments were created while I was at work, and then people comment on something I say on a different thread and I feel better. 🙂
Back to the BB “experiment” and his massive goalpost moving reinterpretations of what his hypothesis is/was and experience is/was:
In the main, setting up a social science “study” as a test of “will it happen to me” and then commenting on it is *not* social science. It’s navel-gazing journalisation. Social science research, even observational studies, still require a social design. Given the lack of quality of BB’s (rationale, method, hypotheses, analysis), no human ethics committee would have let this one through.
Oh, if people find your comment objectionable, you’ll know.
With jokes, yeah, everyone sometimes makes a joke and doesn’t get a response, and it’s always a bummer if your joke was really good, but fact is there’s not that much to say in reply to a really good joke except “haha that was really funny.” So if there is other stuff going on to reply to I think people enjoy the jokes but don’t tend to reply to them.
Incidentally, I hope nobody’s intimidated by me, because seriously, yesterday I was talking about looking up Wikipedia on Wikipedia. The cream of the intellectual crop I am not.
@katz, nope, I read that comment of yours and my only thought was “that’s so cool that you can look up Wikipedia on Wikipedia, I never would have thought of doing that”. 🙂
stupid != katz
Ally — not to armchair diagnose, but that sounds like my usual depressive self-loathing, hopefully it’ll get better once your away from people who reinforce it!
Pecunium re: water torture — I was thinking the proverbial Chinese water torture which, if it’s actually a thing, is described as a drip, just a drip, meant to drive you slowly insane. Idk if it’s actually a thing though. I do know that anything involving water and mouths isn’t not torture and isn’t something anyone can tolerate for long. Whereas idk if the slow drip would even bother me since NOT hearing water bothers me after living with fish tanks for a decade!
I got another orchid btw. Idk if you saw that. Phil. something I think, no useful label. Pretty yellow blooms though.
…what if I’m intimidated by this? SO MUCH WIKI, SO MUCH RECURSION, MY FEEBLE MAN-BRAINS CANNAE TAKE THE STRAIN, CAP’N
Are we talking about orchids?
::cloudiah butts in to talk about her orchids::
I’ve got three going right now: two white phalaenopsis, and one small colorful one that I know nothing about. It is a minor miracle that I’m keeping them alive. The longest-lived one is still healthy after about 9 months in my care — considering that in the past I’ve been able to kill all plants I’ve ever had very efficiently, I’m feeling pretty good about this.
That post about Masaki Watanabe…just…wow >_<
I've never seen such a mix of entitlement and obsessive thoughts. :/
I imagine there are mental health professionals who help people deal with obsessive thoughts. I kinda doubt the same is true for entitlement, though. Not that either would work if the person didn't want to change…
*sigh* Sometimes I really wish there was a class called "Being a decent human being 101".
I’ll admit, I can’t follow Pecunium a lot of the time when he gets really going.
Now I’m thinking about all the posters I miss, who don’t post so much or aren’t so prolific. Anyone heard from Ithiliana recently? (Gonna be so embarrassed if she’s on this thread!)
wow
such wiki
very recursion
wow
(Alternately: Yo dawg….)
Also, it’s been thirty years since I stopped watching Sesame Street and those Martians are as hilarious as ever.
http://youtu.be/KTc3PsW5ghQ
I love the guide book they’ve got.
That Denko story is simultaneously the funniest and the most terrifying thing ever.
@Falconer, Ithiliana hasn’t been by in AGES. I miss her.
Just scrolled through both those LOOOOONG posts myself. And wondered and wished the same things…
I know I’ve been pitifully infatuated and obsessed too, on occasion, but never like either of those two. And, on top of that, I could take no for an answer, even if I did take it kind of hard. In fact, my default position is to assume that no IS the answer.
I tend to read anything short of “yes, please!” as a no. If someone is interested they’ll find a way to let you know, so if they’re not doing so, why are you still bothering them?
I spent a couple of decades not knowing if a yes or even a no was possible! Somehow one survives, something these jerkboys seem unwilling to comprehend. One can even survive without fucking a subsitute (not an acceptable alternative to me). Who’da thunk?