The Man Boobz Pledge Drive continues! If you haven’t already, please consider clicking the little button below and sending some bucks my way.
Thanks! (And thanks again to all who’ve already donated.) Now back to our regularly scheduled programming:
This graphic is the top (unstickied) post on the Men’s Rights subreddit at the moment. Like that Warren Farrell quote I wrote about last week, it’s yet another example of a familiar claim made by misogynistic Men’s Righsers — that men are world’s true heroes, sacrificing themselves for the good of women too lazy or cowardly or whatever to stand up for themselves.
At first glance, the graphic seems to have a certain logic to it: Far more men than women did die on the titanic; that’s a fact. All of the firefighters who died on 9/11 were men; that is also, as far as I can tell, a fact.
Does this justify the graphic maker’s conclusion that “men simply are caring people.” Well, no. You can’t actually draw conclusions about all 3.5 billion men and boys on planet earth from two examples.
But there’s a lot more wrong with the graphic-maker’s argument than that, as a closer look at these two examples can show.
Let’s start with the 9/11 firefighters, because it’s a bit more straightforward. First, I want to point out a little bit of hanky panky the graphic maker is playing with the numbers. Yes, it is true that all of the firefighters who died in and around the towers that day were male. But they weren’t the only first responders to die; if you also include police officers, you will find at least one woman’s name in the list.
That said, yes, virtually all of the first responders who died were men, including every single firefighter who died. And they died heroes, there’s no question about that.
But this isn’t because there were hundreds of female firefighters standing back eating bon bons and letting the men do the dirty and dangerous work for them. Firefighting is a heavily male-dominated profession, and like a lot of male-dominated professions it has not exactly been welcoming to women, who have faced discrimination and harassment (sexual and otherwise) when they’ve tried to enter the “boys club.”
But there’s an even bigger elephant in the room: while virtually all of the first-responders who died on 9/11 were men, all of the terrorists who hijacked the planes that day were also men.
So if you’re going to use this incident to claim that “men simply are caring people,” wouldn’t you also have to conclude that “men simply are terrorists?”
Or perhaps you might want to reconsider using an incident like this to draw conclusions about an entire gender.
When MRAs — taking their cue from Warren Farrell — complain about men being forced or pressured into the “protecter role,” most of the time they are protecting women from the actions of other men.
Yep, men are more likely to run into burning buildings to save women than women are to save men. But men are far more likely to murder their intimate partners (or their exes) than women are.
Even the Titanic, perhaps the MRAs favorite example of “male disposability,” is in fact yet another case in which some men sacrificed themselves to save women from the actions of other men.
First of all, let me point out another little bit of trickery that the graphic-maker is playing with the numbers here. While it is true that a much higher percentage of women on board the Titanic survived than men, looking at the raw numbers is misleading, because there were also several times as many men as women on the ship in the first place. And that class made an enormous difference in terms of survival as well, though their were certainly many upper-class men who went down with the ship. (Like, for example, my great-grandfather Jacques Futrelle, the mystery writer.)
And it’s also worth pointing out that the “women and children first” policy that seems to have been followed, to a degree, on the Titanic wasn’t actually typical, as I’ve pointed out before; indeed, one study of 15,000 victims of major maritime disasters found that more women and children died than men.
But the plain fact is that chivalry didn’t kill the men on the Titanic. This was a preventable disaster, one that was, quite literally, man-made.
The White Star Line chose to equip their ship with an inadequate number of lifeboats. The captain of the ship chose to plow ahead in conditions of virtually no visibility through a section of the North Atlantic that he knew from reports that day was filled with icebergs.
And of course the captain, and the decision makers at the White Star line were all men.
So if you want men as a group to get credit for kindness because some men willingly gave up their seats on the lifeboats for women, it would seem only fair to have to give all men blame for the recklessness and hubris of the ship captain and those White Star line executives who decided that the ship didn’t really need lifeboats enough for everyone on board.
Human beings, whatever their gender, are fascinating and varied creatures, who respond differently to challenges in different settings. There are countless examples of men — and women — rising to the challenges that history has put before them and finding reserves of heroism that they didn’t even know they had. And there are countless examples of men — and women — acting in craven and awful and evil ways.
No gender has a monopoly on kindness or cruelty.
Also, fuck the captain of the Titanic. What an asshole.
If only I had a dollar for every time I was told that I could not speak openly and honestly to a man because , “Men have fragile egos”. I’ve been told that that’s the reason girls can’t play on the same sports teams with boys. Boys might feel just rotten if they were beaten by a *gasp* girl! “You have to let him down gently” is another version of that. It’s told to women and girls so often and then if we do end up pressured into a dangerous situation we’re asked why we didn’t just cut the guys balls off and dive out a window to escape the second we felt our boundaries threatened. It’s part of the conditioning used to keep us smiling, compliant, unambitious and easy targets.
I think anyone who can deal with a huntsman without screaming in terror deserves some sort of medal.
“Let him down gently” – okay, you supply the deep hole and the rope, and I’ll let him down ever so gently before I cut him loose.
@ Lea Tapp
For whatever reason that conditioning didn’t really take with me, and guess what? If you don’t do the letting men down gently and being careful of their fragile egos thing it’s usually greeted with rage. In fact, it’s probably the primary reason why our blog herpes was so obsessively angry with me.
Oooh, do I get a medal now? It’s only taken fifty years but I can deal with them now. 😀
The medal of Valor in the face of Huge Fucking Spiders is yours.
I’m glad I was never in a situation where I had to let some bloke down, gently or otherwise. I doubt I’d have known what to say, if I’d even fathomed that he was interested. My instinct would have been to back off anyway.
Wheee! ::preens::
Why that isn’t on the list of Australia Day honours I’ll never know.
Maybe because if it was the awards ceremony would last 50 hours.
True. And that’d give our politicians (puke) a chance to make even more speeches (second puke).
Maybe better not.
Giant spiders?
http://static1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120212212717/smuff/images/8/8c/Nope.gif
lea tapp, I see a lot of this behavior in the older females in my family and we tend to bump heads ( especially with my mom). I’m not confrotational but I’m no a pushover.
lea – LOL about the spiders!
lea tapp: My mother took great pleasure in beating the boys in sports, etc. None of that shit in my family. Starting school was a culture shock for me.
Letting him down gently just turns into “why were you leading him on/you made him think he had a chance you evil female” anyway.
takshak – I started reading that as “My mother took great pleasure in beating the boy spiders.”
I think I’ve been looking at too many spider pictures. 😛
I’m an equal opportunities spider killer.
kittehserf, lmao…my mother took great pleasure in beating the boy spiders. Haha!
cassandrakitty, I could never bring myself to kill them, unless is a mouse.
for kittehserf
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_7wTfWKphdL8/TKXKhQQaZqI/AAAAAAAAD2o/N4Osu9lxWJQ/s1600/buffalo-flies.jpg
Yikes! That’s a Goth too far! 😀
Matt Forney is now bragging about how he’s “destroyed’ the careers of the three female 20/20 interns who wrote the “hit piece” on the Manosphere. He thinks that because his articles implying that the interns are guilty of journalistic fraud are now highly ranked on google, they will never be able to get a job in journalism again. Because from now on all the intern’s prospective employers will be able to read Forney’s articles. So now the interns will have to be baristas for the rest of their lives. Or something like that.
He really does need to get a grip.
So, just to be clear, he thinks that their future employers, who will be journalists, will be unable to figure out who he is and what his agenda might be? Because obviously someone who’s, say, a newspaper editor is incapable of basic web research.
Caroline, I think the problem is that he has a grip. His mood would surely improve if he discovered personal lubricant
Lol, for Halloween I wove a giant spider web from the front bushes to some bits of coathamger repurposed as stakes. My genius brother wanted to get one of those huge spiders, until I said he could store it in his room. Cuz noptopus.
On topic, and much like their complaints about men dying in wars, who starts most wars? Ok then.