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This graphic is the top (unstickied) post on the Men’s Rights subreddit at the moment. Like that Warren Farrell quote I wrote about last week, it’s yet another example of a familiar claim made by misogynistic Men’s Righsers — that men are world’s true heroes, sacrificing themselves for the good of women too lazy or cowardly or whatever to stand up for themselves.
At first glance, the graphic seems to have a certain logic to it: Far more men than women did die on the titanic; that’s a fact. All of the firefighters who died on 9/11 were men; that is also, as far as I can tell, a fact.
Does this justify the graphic maker’s conclusion that “men simply are caring people.” Well, no. You can’t actually draw conclusions about all 3.5 billion men and boys on planet earth from two examples.
But there’s a lot more wrong with the graphic-maker’s argument than that, as a closer look at these two examples can show.
Let’s start with the 9/11 firefighters, because it’s a bit more straightforward. First, I want to point out a little bit of hanky panky the graphic maker is playing with the numbers. Yes, it is true that all of the firefighters who died in and around the towers that day were male. But they weren’t the only first responders to die; if you also include police officers, you will find at least one woman’s name in the list.
That said, yes, virtually all of the first responders who died were men, including every single firefighter who died. And they died heroes, there’s no question about that.
But this isn’t because there were hundreds of female firefighters standing back eating bon bons and letting the men do the dirty and dangerous work for them. Firefighting is a heavily male-dominated profession, and like a lot of male-dominated professions it has not exactly been welcoming to women, who have faced discrimination and harassment (sexual and otherwise) when they’ve tried to enter the “boys club.”
But there’s an even bigger elephant in the room: while virtually all of the first-responders who died on 9/11 were men, all of the terrorists who hijacked the planes that day were also men.
So if you’re going to use this incident to claim that “men simply are caring people,” wouldn’t you also have to conclude that “men simply are terrorists?”
Or perhaps you might want to reconsider using an incident like this to draw conclusions about an entire gender.
When MRAs — taking their cue from Warren Farrell — complain about men being forced or pressured into the “protecter role,” most of the time they are protecting women from the actions of other men.
Yep, men are more likely to run into burning buildings to save women than women are to save men. But men are far more likely to murder their intimate partners (or their exes) than women are.
Even the Titanic, perhaps the MRAs favorite example of “male disposability,” is in fact yet another case in which some men sacrificed themselves to save women from the actions of other men.
First of all, let me point out another little bit of trickery that the graphic-maker is playing with the numbers here. While it is true that a much higher percentage of women on board the Titanic survived than men, looking at the raw numbers is misleading, because there were also several times as many men as women on the ship in the first place. And that class made an enormous difference in terms of survival as well, though their were certainly many upper-class men who went down with the ship. (Like, for example, my great-grandfather Jacques Futrelle, the mystery writer.)
And it’s also worth pointing out that the “women and children first” policy that seems to have been followed, to a degree, on the Titanic wasn’t actually typical, as I’ve pointed out before; indeed, one study of 15,000 victims of major maritime disasters found that more women and children died than men.
But the plain fact is that chivalry didn’t kill the men on the Titanic. This was a preventable disaster, one that was, quite literally, man-made.
The White Star Line chose to equip their ship with an inadequate number of lifeboats. The captain of the ship chose to plow ahead in conditions of virtually no visibility through a section of the North Atlantic that he knew from reports that day was filled with icebergs.
And of course the captain, and the decision makers at the White Star line were all men.
So if you want men as a group to get credit for kindness because some men willingly gave up their seats on the lifeboats for women, it would seem only fair to have to give all men blame for the recklessness and hubris of the ship captain and those White Star line executives who decided that the ship didn’t really need lifeboats enough for everyone on board.
Human beings, whatever their gender, are fascinating and varied creatures, who respond differently to challenges in different settings. There are countless examples of men — and women — rising to the challenges that history has put before them and finding reserves of heroism that they didn’t even know they had. And there are countless examples of men — and women — acting in craven and awful and evil ways.
No gender has a monopoly on kindness or cruelty.
Also, fuck the captain of the Titanic. What an asshole.
Sorry I forgot ,I thought I was “emotional ” and men were “direct” .
Oh, David my donation will be in by the end of the week (I get paid by weekly). Won’t be much but it will be money well spend.
***trigger warning for suicide***
@cassandra, I’m still reading that link, but the “beautiful corpse” theory on p.6 caught my eye and it’s something I’ve heard expoused before. My take isn’t that women necessarily want to be seen looking as good as they can after suicide for narcisstic reasons, which is what the article portrays on p.6., along with the other works I have read. There is also the fact that, after suicide someone is going to have to come along and clean up. Poison doesn’t leave much of a mess, and nor does gassing (although there is clearly some risk to the next person assuming, for example, that the gas oven is still switched on – the gas pouring out has to be physically turned off by someone else). While still disfiguring, a gunshot to the chest could be less visually traumatic than a gunshot to the head (depending on things like calibre used). As a for example, one of my uncles killed himself by shotgun to the head, and my aunt found the body. To her dying day, thank goodness, she had clearly blocked out the details of what he looked like, and to a lesser degree the mess he made on the carpet and wallpaper. So there can be quite a bit of gruesomeness. The police were awesome, and organised for the scene to be cleaned so she didn’t have to face that.
My contention in this is that some of the gender difference in suicide methods are explainable by:
– suicide being a planned action with respect to timing and method
– women tending to worry about the impact of the method on the person who finds them/ has to clean up afterwards.
I’m not saying this is a factor in every suicide, just that I think it is an overlooked perspective.
dallasapple, I see it as being more in touch with our feminine side. But you might be right (sometimes I just sit and think, and sometimes I just sit). Womans so emotional, lol.
True! “Women need men to protect them” is their cry, but they conveniently leave out the “from men” part. Biggest cause of disability, illness and injury leading to death in women aged 15-44 in Australia? Intimate partner violence.
http://www.aph.gov.au/About_Parliament/Parliamentary_Departments/Parliamentary_Library/pubs/BN/2011-2012/DVAustralia#_Toc309798391
Sorry to let my OCD get all over this thread, but that last video I linked, there is a small amount of fat shaming towards the end, sorry about that.
justabrowngirl: I really don’t care if they were thinking or not. Doesn’t make their message any less awful.
“I will never understand these guys who think that if one man does something amazing, all men everywhere get to claim dibs on it, like they are the same as the hero by virtue of having somewhat similar junk in the pants”
It’s the same logic of racists. “People who happen to be white have accomplished more so-and-so than non-whites” becomes “I am more accomplished than any specific non-white person, simply by virtue of being white”
@ Kiwi Girl
There’s also the fact that men are more likely to have immediate access to firearms than women are.
Ophelia, no need for apologies!
hellkell, I agreed. I just enjoin how they set aside a special time to humiliate their self in public. I also have notice how they know the least but know it the loudest, lol.
Also 2 things worth to mention:
1. In the minds of the MRA’s and the likes men are protecting women from wild animals and the nature apparently and not from other men which is the overwhelming majority of the cases.
2. None of these MRA’s are protectors of women, most of them are women-haters, in fact they are the ones women need protection from.
I live in a nice neighborhood in an urban area. What are they supposed to be protecting me from, the homicidal impulses of the raging raccoons?
Now, other men otoh…
Diana Adams, do you think these mans have mothers, sisters, wives etc. in their life? And I don’t mean tie up in the basement. But to actually willingly interact with them, or do they just play a character with the woman in their lives.
The line seems to be that men have emotions but women “are emotional.”
I forget where I heard the line “Men have egos, women have feelings”. I’m definitely treated differently if I’m perceived as male, I play rough & have no qualms about calling bullshit on bullshit. As a male, this is acceptable behaviour, as a female, I “lack empathy”. I call bullshit.
nitpicky “fun fact”: the RMS Titanic carried more lifeboats than were required by law. Hindsight is 20/20, but that one wasn’t necessarily on White Star.
My biggest threat in the wildlife department is a savage torbie, or possibly being slurped to death by dogs in the park. But men, yeah …
Sometimes when it’s the right time of year I can see hair shed by the neighborhood Malamute lying on the sidewalk. It’s terrifying, I tell you. When is a big strong MRA going to offer to protect me from this horror?
My greatest threat to life and limb is tripping over the cat
Also! A beagle begged for food one day when I was at the coffee shop. Blatantly trying to steal bits of my scone, it was. The local wildlife is vicious.
kittehserf, I live in what some consider urban city and my biggest threat is twerking teenagers, lol.
But in all seriousness, I have live most of my life in the projects and learned from a very young age self defense and to be aware of my surrounding. So I haven’t needed any manly man to defend me but I will make sure to call the MRA to rescue me.
My cats get fluff all over my knitting and crochet yarn. I end up with their fur in my garments because I can’t get rid of it. They also demand to sit on my lap while I am crafting. I have created a fake hashtag for them: #firstworldcatproblems
If anyone wants to kill the spiders in my apartment for me when Mr C isn’t around, otoh, sure, if it makes you feel all strong and manly then go ahead.
ooooh that would be the best tumblr/twitter/whichever it is – one devoted to the real problems of first world cats!
– My staff do not put my favourite flavour in the dish every day.
– They sometimes fail to notice when I am being very cute.
I’d love to see how these MRA wankers would cope with some of our spiders.
cassandrakitty, I take care of my own spiders, thank you very much (Misandry!). Only because I’m single parent.