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Men’s Rightser: Men win the “we care a lot” olympics because of the Titanic, 9/11

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This graphic is the top (unstickied) post on the Men’s Rights subreddit at the moment. Like that Warren Farrell quote I wrote about last week, it’s yet another example of a familiar claim made by misogynistic Men’s Righsers — that men are world’s true heroes, sacrificing themselves for the good of women too lazy or cowardly or whatever to stand up for themselves.

At first glance, the graphic seems to have a certain logic to it: Far more men than women did die on the titanic; that’s a fact. All of the firefighters who died on 9/11 were men; that is also, as far as I can tell, a fact.

Does this justify the graphic maker’s conclusion that “men simply are caring people.” Well, no. You can’t actually draw conclusions about all 3.5 billion men and boys on planet earth from two examples.

But there’s a lot more wrong with the graphic-maker’s argument than that, as a closer look at these two examples can show.

Let’s start with the 9/11 firefighters, because it’s a bit more straightforward. First, I want to point out a little bit of hanky panky the graphic maker is playing with the numbers. Yes, it is true that all of the firefighters who died in and around the towers that day were male. But they weren’t the only first responders to die; if you also include police officers, you will find at least one woman’s name in the list.

That said, yes, virtually all of the first responders who died were men, including every single firefighter who died. And they died heroes, there’s no question about that.

But this isn’t because there were hundreds of female firefighters standing back eating bon bons and letting the men do the dirty and dangerous work for them. Firefighting is a heavily male-dominated profession, and like a lot of male-dominated professions it has not exactly been welcoming to women, who have faced discrimination and harassment (sexual and otherwise) when they’ve tried to enter the “boys club.”

But there’s an even bigger elephant in the room: while virtually all of the first-responders who died on 9/11 were men, all of the terrorists who hijacked the planes that day were also men.

So if you’re going to use this incident to claim that “men simply are caring people,” wouldn’t you also have to conclude that “men simply are terrorists?”

Or perhaps you might want to reconsider using an incident like this to draw conclusions about an entire gender.

When MRAs — taking their cue from Warren Farrell — complain about men being forced or pressured into the “protecter role,” most of the time they are protecting women from the actions of other men.

Yep, men are more likely to run into burning buildings to save women than women are to save men. But men are far more likely to murder their intimate partners  (or their exes) than women are.

Even the Titanic, perhaps the MRAs  favorite example of “male disposability,” is in fact yet another case in which some men sacrificed themselves to save women from the actions of other men.

First of all, let me point out another little bit of trickery that the graphic-maker is playing with the numbers here. While it is true that a much higher percentage of women on board the Titanic survived than men, looking at the raw numbers is misleading, because there were also several times as many men as women on the ship in the first place. And that class made an enormous difference in terms of survival as well, though their were certainly many upper-class men who went down with the ship. (Like, for example, my great-grandfather Jacques Futrelle, the mystery writer.)

And it’s also worth pointing out that the “women and children first” policy that seems to have been followed, to a degree, on the Titanic wasn’t actually typical, as I’ve pointed out before; indeed, one study of  15,000 victims of major maritime disasters found that more women and children died than men.

But the plain fact is that chivalry didn’t kill the men on the Titanic. This was a preventable disaster, one that was, quite literally, man-made.

The White Star Line chose to equip their ship with an inadequate number of lifeboats. The captain of the ship chose to plow ahead in conditions of virtually no visibility through a section of the North Atlantic that he knew from reports that day was filled with icebergs.

And of course the captain, and the decision makers at the White Star line were all men.

So if you want men as a group to get credit for kindness because some men willingly gave up their seats on the lifeboats for women, it would seem only fair to have to give all men blame for the recklessness and hubris of the ship captain and those White Star line executives who decided that the ship didn’t really need lifeboats enough for everyone on board.

Human beings, whatever their gender, are fascinating and varied creatures, who respond differently to challenges in different settings. There are countless examples of men — and women — rising to the challenges that history has put before them and finding reserves of heroism that they didn’t even know they had. And there are countless examples of men — and women — acting in craven and awful and evil ways.

No gender has a monopoly on kindness or cruelty.

Also, fuck the captain of the Titanic. What an asshole.

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opheliamonarch
opheliamonarch
10 years ago

I don’t supposed these shiteaters would ever acknowledge women like Ida Strauss – she wouldn’t go into the lifeboat when her husband wasn’t allowed to. When it was suggested that they would gladly make room for him, an elderly man, he refused; better save a young person. The Strausses were last seen sitting holding hands on deck.

Some of the stories like that are just awful.

For all those history geeks out there (that’s you Kitteh). 😉 This audiobook is excellent and I think around £5.95 on iTunes.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Titanic-Voices-BBC-Archive/dp/1445869284

It’s really interesting to hear first hand accounts from survivors.

(I know that’s for the UK, but it’s definitely on the US Amazon, so presumably is available outside the UK.)

opheliamonarch
opheliamonarch
10 years ago

GAH! I thought if I butted the link against the text it might not print the cover, sorry folks!

Xen
Xen
10 years ago

Lol, what the heck is “native” skin tone?

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
10 years ago

Many shades of pale plus one native and one dark. Criminy!

Ally S
10 years ago

Another telling example of male vulnerability being acknowledged and taken seriously: custody disputes. It’s no coincidence that the father’s rights movment consists primarily of conservative cis het men who espouse “traditional gender roles.” Their cause is often seen as righteous. One would expect men to be derided for being worried about custody disputes as even emotional sensitivity is coded feminine, but because FRM discourse has a strong relationship with the discourse of masculinity, men are almost universally supported in their advocacy for joint custody and other goals of the FRM.

Yet another example is the cultural fixation on false rape allegations. Most men who are concerned about being falsely accused are supported and acknowledged as victims. Their fears and feelings are also often validated by those around them.

katz
10 years ago

Totally off topic, but I’m sick of racist beauty advice: http://ladyfabuloux.blogspot.com/2011/05/whats-my-skin-tone.html

“Normal” tone = white.
“Native” is also a skin tone apparently.

And she cribbed her goofy racist picture from a Sims skin pack.

Diana Adams
Diana Adams
10 years ago

Ally S, and yet because men obviously aren’t allowed to cry that’s why there are tons of male politicians and other figures crying and being emotional in public and they are praised for it. But god forbid if a woman politician cries or shows emotions she’s gonna be crucified literally.

JustAbrowngirl
JustAbrowngirl
10 years ago

auggziliary, according to that website I fall between exotic & native? Yay! racism (Sarcasm)

katz
10 years ago

“Exotic” means “Asian,” I’m guessing. And you’re only allowed to be a little bit black.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Some research on gender roles (for which I currently don’t have the citation, sadly) indicates that men are not ridiculed or shamed for expressing vulnerability when such expression is included in the discourse of masculinity.

Very true. You’ve only got to go back a few centuries in European history (aka the only type I know much about) to find crying and other expressions of emotion entirely acceptable in men.

For all those history geeks out there (that’s you Kitteh). 😉

A history geek? Moi?

“Native” skin tone, eh? Well I’m a native of Melbourne and mine’s pale with a dash of rosacea blodges. Poop to the racist labels.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Oh hey, this seems relevant to the current conversation.

http://logicalliving.blog.com/files/2011/04/Suicide-Ten.pdf

David, you might want to download this, it’s a goldmine as far as explaining why the MRM thinks bullying women online is “activism”.

shayla
shayla
10 years ago

That’s so true Ally… and we’re taught in so many ways to be delicate with men’s feelings. I remember my mom teaching me tactics to maneuver everything to make the man believe the woman’s good idea was his (neck turns the head etc), else he’d feel bad. It took me a long time to realize all that contorting and strategizing and self-effacing was so sad, if someone can’t even accept their partner has good ideas they need to simply grow up, not have their immaturity be catered to by a lifetime eggshell walker. And darker, women hesitating to report crimes against themselves because they don’t want to “hurt him” or “ruin his life.” A gander at media has plenty of male characters with feelings too. The line seems to be that men have emotions but women “are emotional.”

dallasapple
dallasapple
10 years ago

So if you’re going to use this incident to claim that “men simply are caring people,” wouldn’t you also have to conclude that “men simply are terrorists?”

Yes no ‘men” or women would have died that day if not for heartless men . PERIOD. MEN killed women and men that day . On the planes and in the buildings and the rescuers trying to save them .

So hey CARING men ..STOP flying PLANES into buildings KILLING MEN women and CHILDREN to ENSURE you will get 17 VIRGINS after you die and we will ALL be better off.

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

MRAs never let facts get in the way of a shitty graphic.

justabrowngirl
justabrowngirl
10 years ago

Shayla, It still happening today…I see all the time. Woman either dummying there self down or down playing their success and or achievement not to hurt their spouse or significant other feelings/ego.

dallasapple
dallasapple
10 years ago

But the plain fact is that chivalry didn’t kill the men on the Titanic. This was a preventable disaster, one that was, quite literally, man-made.

Stupidity in more ways than one and yes by males . The only mistake women made was trusting the idiots. So did the other males . Males were responsible for every man,woman and child’s death on that ship . FUCK chivalry . Stick it up your ass moron!

kittehserf
10 years ago

There’s an interesting examination of gender/misogyny and terrorism – be it McVeigh or Atta – here:

http://www.oswego.edu/~mccune/wst200_readingmasc

opheliamonarch
opheliamonarch
10 years ago

Re skin tone in make-up,

I pointed out the lack of variety in the Clinique range and the lady at the counter said: ‘But you’re white!’, because I obviously hadn’t realised!

When I told her I wanted it for my friend ‘G’ who is from Malawi, she looked blank and said ‘Has she tried the market’ (meaning the cheap, tacky market we have here.) Yeah, that was a fun conversation.

Totally off topic, I hope nobody minds. Youtube is a cesspit of misogynists (obvious me!) so when you see somebody doing the opposite I think it’s good to let other people know about them.

I don’t use youtube that much, but subscribe to Hannibalthevictor, he recommended this chaps vids.

I haven’t really watched any of his other videos, and perhaps we don’t agree on every point, but I think he did a good job on this one:

http://youtu.be/Cd3QEVIh1fI

It’s great to see someone on youtube other than Somegreybloke and Hannibal challenging MRA shit. (Also, the opening movie clips/MRA clips are hilarious.)

I promise that’s the last video from me for a while, hope they haven’t annoyed anyone.

justabrowngirl
justabrowngirl
10 years ago

hellkell, well to be fair, they probably said it without thinking, the way they do most things.

dallasapple
dallasapple
10 years ago

If WOMEN were running around setting building on fire that had men women and children in them ..Then women ran around trying to save some of them would it make sense to tell the me be grateful for women because they are the ones that saved your ass?

opheliamonarch
opheliamonarch
10 years ago

Also, trigger warning ish for that video, it’s full of MRAs being, well, MRAs.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Well, women are terrorists too, as well as trying to save people from terrorism. Difference is of course that feminists aren’t denying, or justifying, such acts, where MRAs seek to justify male terrorism every goddamn day.

dallasapple
dallasapple
10 years ago

So my husband convinces me to go out on a boat in the icy water saying its safe. But he forgets to put the plug in .So we start to sink in the middle of the lake .I can’t swim and he drags me to the shore and I survive barely . Who’s the hero ?

justabrowngirl
justabrowngirl
10 years ago

dallasapple, shhhh, don’t confuse them with logic.

dallasapple
dallasapple
10 years ago

Difference is of course that feminists aren’t denying, or justifying, such acts, where MRAs seek to justify male terrorism every goddamn day.

NO ..they aim to seek GLORY by virtue of maleness even if “male ” is the cause of the peril.