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Heartiste channels Stormfront with a racist song parody about a “beta male” cuckolded by a “mandingo.”

Gordon Lightfoot had nothing to do with any of this.
Gordon Lightfoot had nothing to do with any of this.

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So our old friend Heartiste, the reactionay PUA douchecanoe, is one of those racists who’s not only open about his racism, but actually proud of it; he thinks it’s backed up with SCIENCE. He’s become more obvious in his pandering to the so called “alt-right” racist crowd recently, but he’s sort of outdone himself in a recent post, playing to some rather primal racist fears of black male sexual potency.

In “The Wreck Of The Beta Male Cuckold,” Heartiste offers up a rather strained “parody” of Gordon Lightfoot’s “The Wreck of the Edmond Fitzgerald.” Instead of chronicling a real-life shipwreck, he offers up the tale of a fat, emasculated beta brony who sadly watches his wife have sex with a black man — sorry, a “darkie” — before retreating to the basement to commit suicide.

At least I think that’s what happens. It’s all so ineptly written it’s nearly incomprehensible in parts.

Here’s the beginning of the poem, which will perhaps give you some flavor of the rest:

The legend lives on from the Left Coast on down
of the beta they called “Cuckold Freddie.”
The cuck, it is said, sits alone near the bed
when the thighs of his wife spread to darkies.

Yep. He really went with “darkies.” Elsewhere in the lyrics, Heartiste refers to the cuckolder as “mandingo,” and his penis as a “black mamba.”

Actually, let me quote that last bit, as it shows just how hard Heartiste has to strain to hit all the standard Manosphere talking points — and work in all his favorite manosphere catchphrases — in telling his tale of beta woe. Oh, by the way, the cuckolder refers to himself as “Bear.”

Cuckold suffering tolls, Hypergamy sings
in the rooms of Freddie’s Mountain Dew mansion.
Bear’s black mamba creams in his wife’s wet vajeen;
Her asshole and mouth are for Bear’s fun.
And farther below, Freddie’s marital ho
takes in what Bear’s privilege can send her,
And Freddie will know as all swinging alphas know
it’s two women-one man not the inverse.

The whole thing is like that.

Heartiste, I’m sure, thinks of his little song parody as a devastating put down of  (white) beta males, which he’s made even more humiliating by having the cuckolder in the story be a … black man!

But you don’t have to be a psychologist or a cultural historian to see the fear here.

White male panic over black male sexuality is hardly a new thing. Indeed, the Ku Klux Klan and its supporters regularly used trumped-up fears of “black brutes” raping white women as convenient excuses for campaigns of terror against blacks; they also indicated a deep uneasiness within white men about their own cultural and sexual potency.

Similar fears of a sexualized “Black Peril” arose amongst colonialist whites in the 19th and early 20th century, most notably in South Africa and what was then called Southern Rhodesia; these, too, provided a convenient excuse for government policies designed to control blacks and benefit white men. (Never mind that white men were far more likely to sexually abuse black women than black men were to abuse white women.)

In other words, there’s very little difference these days between a certain segment of the Manosphere and the Klan.

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pecunium
10 years ago

Depends on the context.

What generally happens is one of them get a modidified name, so “Sgt Garcia (Alex)”,

Because it’s really rare for that to happen in a way that makes it hard to clarify. So, if it were a company, the odds that both Staff Sergeant Garcias would be Platoon Sgts is slim, but if so, that makes it easier, “Hey, 3rd Plt Garcia, come here!”, or some such.

I’d need more context to give a more specific answer.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Kittehs:

Be fun if he sued Roissy into bankruptcy.

I’m thinking that’s a pretty quick trip.

Yep, I thought the same thing.

pecunium
10 years ago

And everyone ought to listen to some Lightfoot. Cold on the Shoulder is a great album, (perhaps my favorite) or Summertime Dream (which has The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald).

He got his start writing for others (e.g. Peter, Paul, and Mary). He’s got some really self-aware songs about disfunctional relationships. His, “Canadian Railroad Trilogy” is a large part of why he was named Poet Laurate of Canada (haunting) and “Don Quixote” has some biting social commentary buried in a lilting sort of imagery.

Robert Ramirez
10 years ago

Is it me…but I just do not get MRA’s attempts at humor, was that supposed to me a padory or something?

JoJo
JoJo
10 years ago

I’m rather confused about this “parody”. The fact that this guy just doesn’t like women in ways he can’t explain in a coherent fashion isn’t “news” (infuriating, but not anything I haven’t heard before). I don’t get the slams against 4chan and bronies. 4chan is a haven for MRA types, and various men’s groups have been actively trying to attract bronies to the “cause”. Which has resulted in 4chan sub-board /mlp/ actively raiding Honey Badger Radio with crank calls. Which failed because /mlp/ is like 15 people doing lots and lots of what is known as “shitposting” in 4chan vernacular. 15 people is not enough to cause the level of devastation that the more notable raid which had wider support (and of those 15 people 6 or 7 are very vocal MRAs).

katz
10 years ago

Depends on the context.

What generally happens is one of them get a modidified name, so “Sgt Garcia (Alex)”,

Because it’s really rare for that to happen in a way that makes it hard to clarify. So, if it were a company, the odds that both Staff Sergeant Garcias would be Platoon Sgts is slim, but if so, that makes it easier, “Hey, 3rd Plt Garcia, come here!”, or some such.

I’d need more context to give a more specific answer.

They are a pilot/navigator duo and they are (paternal) cousins. I think they are probably both lieutenants. Also this is in the Red Army but I lack Russian military acquaintences to ask this sort of thing.

Mnemosyne
Mnemosyne
10 years ago

Heartiste lives in the version of the 1950s that only exists in the minds of the ultra-right. So, he’s afraid of the same stupid, non-existent things that white supremacists were, and largely still are afraid. However, he’s not racist guys, he’s a “racial realist.” The world is too “PC” and “alphas” like him possess the truth.

vaiyt
10 years ago

Someone needs to warn “racial realists” that repeating the same talking points of garden-variety racists won’t get them called anything other than racists.

Bina
Bina
10 years ago

Right-wing extremist men with a fetish for the Golden Age-That-Never-Was frequently pull this particular race card on those they dislike, usually when they run out of counterarguments. I can remember one of them hoping I would get sodomized to death by a “pipe-hung” black man after I demolished his AmRen bullshit on a progressive message board. Hasn’t happened yet; so sorry to disappoint. The fact that in real life, black men are no better endowed on average than your typical white schmuck just never occurs to these dudes. Nope, they all seriously believe in the Big Black Man of the old southern-belle rape fantasy.

They really need to let go of that particularly cheesy bit of wank-fodder.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Even if you were to ignore the misogyny and the racism (let’s not), that response is so childish. Don’t agree with me? Yeah well I hope you get raped AND you’re ugly AND I bet you’re fat, so there! It’s like arguing with a toddler.

cloudiah
10 years ago

A really evil toddler.

Skye
Skye
10 years ago

So basically Heartiste’s barrel has no bottom. Ick.

Also, what does AmRen mean, Bina (& that dude was awful as well)

takshak
takshak
10 years ago

Can he be charged with felonies against language? Please

skybison
skybison
10 years ago

Try singing Heartiste’s masterpiece to the tune of the real song. I couldn’t get passed the line “The suck in her snatch made a tattle-tale sound” without laughing my ass off. And don’t even get me started on

“They might have split up or they might have hate fucked;
but at least Freddie’s shame would be no more.
But all Freddie hears through his hot beta tears
is, “put a gag in his mouth so he won’t direct”.

Somewhere in the galaxy a Vogon is reading that and shedding tears of pride. How can anyone, even someone as dumb as CH call that song writing?

katz
10 years ago

Skybison: It could be the new Eye of Argon. You sing it until you laugh and then it’s the next person’s turn.

oraclenine
10 years ago

Twenty nine men were lost with the Fitz on November 10, 1975. Twenty nine lives gone, somewhere in the the long minutes between 7:10 PM and 7:22 PM- the time between the last radio contact with the Anderson and the loss of any sign of the Fitzgerald on the Anderson’s radar.

Reporting seas of 18 to 25 feet and gale force winds the Arthur M. Anderson “made Whitefish Bay” and safety. Captain Cooper reported his fears to the Coast Guard more than once and by 9 PM, in the safety of the harbor, Cooper had a call from the Coast Guard. They were initiating a search but the Arthur M. Anderson was one of the very few vessels within reach of the last sighting.

They went back out and led the search.

The Fitzgerald lies 530 feet down, broken into two large pieces. Experts still argue over the cause(s) of the sinking.

The Arthur M. Anderson is still in service.

That’s the story behind the song this jerk used for his racist sexist screed. Those are the memories he’s taking a piss on.

Sorry. I’ll just get down off this soapbox now. And go pet the cat or something.

10knives
10knives
10 years ago

“I’m imagining all the muck Freud would find poking around in Roissy’s alleged mind … though even creepy old Sigmund might be squicked out by it.”

No kidding. He’d need an extra large dose of his usual cocaine to even last five minutes.

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
10 years ago

@oraclenine, thanks for your comment, I didn’t realise that the shipwreck was so recent, I had imagined it occurred a couple of centuries ago. Given that relatives of the men will still be alive, the use of that song is exceedingly insensitive.

oraclenine
10 years ago

Kiwi girl, I know someone who was there when the families waited. So the Fitzgerald isn’t personal for me- but it deeply affected the communities as well as the families. I get the same way about people using the World Trade Center events as a political beat stick. I had a family member who was on one of the first teams to search for survivors at the Pentagon.

Wetherby
Wetherby
10 years ago

The Daily Mash, the closest British equivalent to The Onion, tackles the question of whether alpha males really exist, and reaches the following succinct conclusion:

The true alpha male is a mythical yeti-like beast – wild, unphotographed and possibly mythical. It would be more useful to classify men, and indeed humans overall, as ‘idiot’ or ‘not idiot’.

sn0rkmaiden
10 years ago

@Wetherby, that Mash article is great.

31-year-old Stephen Malley said: “I’m an alpha male because I shout at people, for example laundrette staff and anyone else who isn’t allowed to answer back because of their employment terms.

“Also I have a weirdly clean serial killer-type home and a remote control that operates nine different gadgets and can make my favourite Olly Murs track play in any room including the airing cupboard.

That pretty much sums it up, I’ve known a few of these over the years.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

Hee hee, “research from the Institute for Studies”. That Mash article was pretty funny.

So, Roissy was able to release his hands (and a flurry of middle-aged moths) from his Battlebots briefs long enough to pen a lame parody of a song that’s nearly 40 years old. I bet his college-age audience can really relate to that. Next up: an uproarious rewrite of Irving Berlin!

I love Gordon Lightfoot and can’t fathom why Roissy would piss his brand of idiocy all over such a beautiful and tragic song. The deaths of 29 men are a serious event, worthy of memorializing in a ballad. Roissy’s imaginary, ever-beleagured sense of manhood: not serious. He should have picked a more appropriately childish ditty to air his grievances, like, I dunno, “one potato two potato”.

estraven
estraven
10 years ago

My husband was in college when the Edmund Fitzgerald tragedy occurred. One of his classmates thought his brother was on that ship. Turned out he’d been pulled off and placed on another ship, but for hours the guy did not know. At the Great Lakes Shipwreck Museum at Whitefish Point in Michigan the song plays as you see the photos and read the stories of so many shipwrecks in Lake Superior. We’ve visited that museum many times and the song is simply haunting. I’m sick at heart that anyone could use the music and rhythm of this song for such a perverted purpose.

Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
10 years ago

Farkus:

PUA (pick-up artistry) and MRM (men’s rights movement) are two rather diverse movements united by misogyny. Many misogynist dudes are into both movements, while others stick to one movement and ignore or despise the other. Then there’s also the MGTOW (men going their own way) and dog knows what other movements. Then there are plenty of vagrant internet misogynists who lack ideological attachment but fit in any misogynist internet community because their favorite pastime is talking shit about women, in dudebrotherly spirit.

Heartiste seems to be the sort of generic misogynist who revels in the intersection of PUA and MRM, with a shitload of uber-macho bullying attitude. He doesn’t really have any agenda beyond bullying people for fun and profit, so his talking points are quite random and without much content, mostly empty rhetoric chosen for cheering up his diverse base of woman-haters.

I find it fascinating how both Roosh and Heartiste have morphed from traditionally sexist PUA gurus to weird anti-woman anti-“beta” anti-“PC” shock jocks. At least you can’t blame them for lack of business adaptation.

DaveL
DaveL
10 years ago

Wow.

“The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald” is a moving ballad about a group of men who lost their lives in the course of just trying to earn their living.

Heartiste apparently feels that theme doesn’t do justice to the true problems faced by men. Drowning in icy waters far from home? Bah! Try having your wife cheat on you with a black man.