Having previously taken on such dire threats to Western Civilization as “fat girls,” “manginas,” and “rape tourettes,” the pickup-artists-cum-worldly-philosophers over at Roosh Valizadeh’s Return of Kings blog have decided to take on an even more insidious danger: Women — sorry, girls — with short hair.
In an alarming expose, guest blogger Tuthmosis reveals the shocking tuth, er, truth:
No woman in all of human history has ever looked better with short hair than she would with a head full of healthy locks.
So why are so many women choosing to cut off the long hair that men so universally admire (allegedly)? Tuthmosis has a few theories. One is that other women are convincing them to do it so that they can have all the short-hair-hating men to themselves. Yep. It’s hair sabatoge!
Women are quick to encourage other women to cut their hair by telling them how “cute” it is. While I’m no scientist, I’m convinced this is some deep, genetic programming at work, one that forces women—who compete with one another on a physical level on a daily basis—to encourage any behavior that might eliminate competitors in the dating pool.
And straight men contribute to this sorry state of affairs, too. Well, “cowardly and deluded men” anyway, according to Tuthy — though why exactly being “cowardly and deluded” would cause men to encourage women to cut their hair is never quite explained.
Tuthy also blames gay men, who apparently have the power to sway the minds of women en masse.
The plaudits a Miley Cyrus, Rihanna, or Anne Hathaway receive when they cut their hair off—from people who have no business commenting on the attractiveness of women, like gay men—creates a copycat cycle that increases the trend geometrically.
So what exactly is the problem with short hair? Don’t get Tuthy started on that!
Seriously, don’t get him started, because what he says makes no fucking sense.
The truth of the matter is that long hair’s almost universally attractive to men, when they’re actually speaking honestly (without trying to appease women in the room). Furthermore, it’s a symbol of youth, femininity, and health. Why can’t old women grow long hair? Because it’s an ephemeral trait of your fertile years.
Women instinctively know this, which is why every American girl who cuts, and keeps, her hair short often does it for ulterior reasons. Short hair is a political statement.
A political statement of what? A political statement that she won’t put up with assholes like you?
And, invariably, a girl who has gone through with a short cut—and is pleased with the changes in her reception—is damaged in some significant way. Short hair is a near-guarantee that a girl will be more abrasive, more masculine, and more deranged.
Ah, ok. So it does mean that she won’t put up with assholes like you.
I’d developed that belief on years of platonic interactions alone. The bitchiest work colleagues, the most difficult cashier, the most confrontational, aggressive cunts in bars have all shared one trait—short-ass hair.
Yep, it definitely means that.
Tuthy then relates the horrors he faced during his own brief experiences dating women with short hair.
One had rape fantasies and used four-letter words! (These are your complaints? The guy who runs the blog you’re posting on is an actual admitted rapist, and you yourself just used the word “cunt.”)
Another used racial slurs and later got an unflattering “soccer mom” haircut! (Racial slurs? I mean, that’s a dealbreaker for me, but you’re writing for a blog that’s crawling with out-and-proud racists. Aren’t racial slurs right up your alley?)
Yet another jerked him off while texting! (You’re not going to at least give her credit for her manual dexterity?)
He concludes with this:
Not only is short-hair unattractive, it’s one of the biggest signals a man can get that a woman is damaged beyond repair.
In other words, short hair on women appears to repel a certain kind of asshole. Make use of that information as you wish.
EDITED TO ADD: Oh dear. Apparently Tuthy’s dumb post was so dumb and offensive it managed to “go viral”” and generate a ton of hate-traffic for Return of Kings. Roosh, naturally, has decided to try to fan the flames with a “publisher’s note” reiterating Tuthy’s, er, “argument” and helpfully revealing to his new readers what a shithead he is.
Here are some quotes, along with some photos to remind us just who it is who is lecturing women about their hairstyles.
Sadly, the women who are blasting us right now with vulgar speech and masculine manner are treading the line of self-mutilation with their pixie cuts. If you know a girl who has voluntarily chopped off such a reliable indicator of female beauty and fertility, nothing short of an intervention with all family and friends is necessary to force the victim to grow her hair back out.
I part now with a message of hope. Women: unless you have a smushed pig face, your attractiveness increases at least 6% for every inch your hair passes your shoulders. Don’t listen to people who are trying to sabotage your beauty by encouraging you to adopt a lesbian haircut.
We are the only ones who will be brutally honest with you. We are not shy to state where objective female beauty comes from, unlike the saboteurs in your life who are just trying to make it harder for you to find a good husband.
And for those of you especially sick women who think that you are going to punish us by cutting your hair, you’re only punishing yourself. Being lonely and having to settle for a brood of cats is not a good life for a woman, but that’s what will happen if you keep your hair short.
::hands Ophelia soothing nasal spray::
BTW a fist bump to anyone who donates their hair. I’ve done it for a very long time & it’s my own little way to give back even if I don’t have hard currency to give. FYI though locks of love has been exposed as wasting donations & not being on the up and up. If you grow to donate you might want to call around to see if any salons donate to a local charity. I’m a few weeks from donating again myself, need that about another 2 inches, and found a salon that donates to a local charity that so far is getting good reviews.
I was going to say that you seemed to have your directions reversed there. Tsk tsk, what a waste of money, and so on.
That’s the way I took the sex doll. As a way to degrade any woman who saw the picture. To remind them that is what they amount to in these guys cess pool minds.
I’m listening to Tribe 8 right now and they are pretty cool. I like a nice deep alto in a rock band. Also they have a song about sunbears.
So who’s sock is OH? Does he have an Uncle Monty or go to school in Boston?
Tonsorial. That’s a new one.
Yeah, I love my long(ish) hair, but long hair is a pain in the… neck. Quite literally, in my case.
I cut about six inches off, so it is now only down to my armpits, but it used to be down below my shoulder blades, and I’d wear a braid for work, to keep it out of my face, and by the end of the day my neck would ache from the strain. Not to mention that when it gets really long, the only way to keep it from tangling horribly was to keep it braided pretty much 24-seven (yes, I’d sleep with it braided.)
I’ve always admired hair dye, but it doesn’t seem to take much, and I tried the special “for dark hair” dye bought at a hair salon supplier (Sally’s). I think because it is dark brown, and I wanted to go to a dark auburn. That was back when I had short hair–I don’t personally dye my hair now that its long. I wouldn’t dare try to cover everything.
I did get professional highlights once, but they were so subtle someone asked me if I ever planned on getting some about two months after they were put in. I wondered why the hell she was asking–we were classmates, but not really close friends.
My sister dyes hers so much she’s forgotten what it really looks like–though since she was on the crossroads of blonde, brown, and red, that isn’t really surprising. Her hair is just long enough to go in a ponytail (for her, that’s quite short–only about chin length–whereas mine needs to be about shoulder length).
My niece donated about 14 inches at once! She still had shoulder length hair .
Oh and I have a cousin ? She has never had her hair cut (ends trimmed that’s it) LONG thick blond hair down to her knees. (and she is in her later 30 ‘s too ) ..And I’m sorry she would take a switch blade to these guys ..LOL>>>no kidding. (because they are ass holes and she doesn’t like ass holes) Shes a roofer. She is married to my cousin (hes an ex cop) . She’s a good girl but these guys need to think twice about long hair .
I am not a troll, and my comment was my honest opinion, not something I made up to troll people. I have the views that I express on my page and also think that it is ironic that someone nonconforming to our culture’s male conventional appearance hair standard would tell women they should conform to the one for women. I think everyone should do their hair and appearance however they want and commented on his veering from the “mainstream” / “straight-and-narrow” while telling other people not to do so.
And, yes, I do have said “counter” on my page. My apologies if that offends anyone here.
Well my dad has always said to me that men with bushy beards covering quite a bit of their face are hiding something, are nearly always up to no good and shifty and are deeply insecure. Funny how the ones above have them!
Why is “counter” in scare quotes? Is it because it’s not actually a counter and may, in fact, be a meaningless bit of rabble-rousing?
I know the “old women can’t have long hair” has been debunked a few times, but just to add one more example- I saw an older woman with the most amazing hair last year. It was about halfway down her back and she’d obviously been growing it out since before it started going gray, so it was black at the bottom, which faded to darker gray in the middle, and lighter gray at the top. Naturally ombre hair.
D.E’s “blog” seems to be nothing but re-blogs from elsewhere. Not exactly a hotbed of original thought.
Most people killed by Moslem terrorists are Moslems … kind of a pointless counter unless you’re reminding people of that.
Music:
I’ve been listening to Emilie Autumn since Argenti’s recommendation.
I really like ‘The Kills’.
‘Son House’, I love.
‘Odetta’ wow!
Janis Joplin, not bad.
‘The Submarines’, can make a change.
I just bought ‘Los Campesinos’ ‘Romance is boring’.
And ‘Skunk Anansie’ have always been fantastic.
‘Band of Skulls’, not bad.
All of which help me get away from my Jack White fixation, which I am sure is not good for me.
@ Sam-I-Was
Thanks for the heads up about locks of love. It’s sad when such a straightforward type of charity can become corrupt -_- Good suggestion looking into local places though. I think there’s a place that hand makes wigs for free for children cancer patients that I read about somewhere in the local paper.
Also, I kind of got the idea somewhere in my life that most (hetero or bi) women prefer the clean-shaven / short-haired look, which is why those producers make Matthew McConaughey cut his hair and shave every time he gets a new movie role, the same way that most (h or bi) women, according to all those polls in magazines, generally prefer guys a lot less muscular than a lot of guys think women like. Of course, everyone is free to like what they like, and some individual people look better with their hair longer or shorter or whatever.
I understood what D.E. Cantor meant. Zie stated that for someone espousing a “traditional” appearance for women (which means nothing, fyi, women throughout the decades have had different hair. Tbh there is more “hair diversity” now, in terms of styling, than in the past, it seems) Roosh doesnt fit the bill. That doesn’t mean long hair is bad on men or anything. It’s just funny someone so focused on gender roles fails to follow them himself….
Be not ashamed of Jack White. The White Stripes were pretty much my entire senior year of high school.
Not really. The whole point of his babble is that women have to follow the rules, whereas men can do whatever they want (as long as it doesn’t involve being nice to women, because that makes you a mangina). From that perspective an offputting appearence just proves how awesomely unconcerned with what women want he is.
Oof. Whippersnapper!
D.E’s whipping out the assfax now. I didn’t know us bi women were so powerful as to influence the movies.
DE’s hair comments don’t strike me as unreasonable, I’m just not really interested in the opinions of anyone who tries to keep track of how many people get killed by Muslims.
How did this become about me? Yes, while some of my blogs are my writing, most of my blogs are re-posts. I like sharing blogs that I like with other people, the same way that some people like sharing pictures and videos of cats. But, anybody and everybody should feel feel to comment about my blogs, my re-posts, my counter and whatever else on my site and to leave this here place for actually talking about what it was intended for.
Long hair on men doesn’t transgress a set gender role– in my culture. And long hair on women has nothing to do with looking attractive for men– in my culture. I have no clue which culture Rooshbag and his pals are speaking for, but it ain’t mine, so I’m finding it terribly difficult to give a shit.
Wait, when did David hand the “what people should talk about on Manboobz” baton over to you? Must have missed that announcement.