So I’ve been reading Reddit’s CreepyPMs subreddit a lot lately, where the recipients of bizarre and, well, creepy personal messages share them with the world. As you might imagine, some of the creepiest come from complete strangers on dating sites, like the following message received by a young woman on MeetMe, who put up a profile stating that she was looking for friends only (she already has a boyfriend) and that she would talk to anyone.
Well, one young man didn’t quite believe her, and sent this message:
He doesn’t judge, huh? That’s the most judgy non-judgemental message I’ve ever seen.
If you haven’t already checked out CreepyPMs, go take a look. You can lose hours in there.
Robert Ramirez:
Compassion for men and boys, that’s why! Men’s rights!
But only certain men matter. And only if we can use those men’s problems as a stick to beat women with. And only if we can assume all women are “b—-es” who only want Sexy Buff Party Guys. And only if we can assume that all men totally deserve several “HB-10s” to cater to their every sexual whim.
Women having any preference or choice in selecting their romantic/sexual partners is evidence that women are shallow, sl-tty b—-es. Men deserve sex from totally hot women, or it’s misandry. The poor Sexy Buff Party Guys are jut caught in the crossfire.
Felisha, we call people idiots here all the time. Some sites don’t allow it: I’ve had “idiotic” redacted at Feministe as being an ableist slur. Every site’s going to be different. Someone calling you a c**** at another site is gross and misogynist. It’s not a word welcome here.
David doesn’t sit modding 24/7. Plenty of words get through that aren’t being used by trolls-of-the-moment. That doesn’t make them okay with the community here.
Also, what’s with this doubling down? Do you do this away from the keyboard?
“Please don’t use that word.”
“Oh noes don’t be like that other place where they said some words weren’t acceptable!”
It’s not much of a way to respond. Is it really so hard to say “Sorry!”?
I told you that word’s offensive to me, and why, and asked you not to use it. Cassandra’s said she doesn’t like it either. If anything I find it worse than c**** in some ways, sleazy and hiding behind faux-cutesiness, and the shaved joke turns my stomach.
Just think, if you’d simply apologised instead of doubling down, it’d be over and forgotten. Happens here all the time.
The only even vaguely inappropriate contact I can remember getting from a woman was the 19 year old girl in Iran who wanted to do cybersex, and even in that case she treated me like a person rather than an orgasm dispensing machine. No raging out when I said “no thanks”!
@ kittehs
If Felisha could rein in her teal deers a bit that would also be a plus.
Men who like women or are liked by women need not apply for compassion.
I love the image of really bewildered Sexy Buff Party Guys in the middle of this, wondering what the hell that was all about.
Whale vagina…sperm whale? I’ll show myself out.
Felisha’s gonna be fun.
Cassandra – yer not wrong!
Ug, internet dating. I think that’s what finally killed my desire for companionship. I was coming out of my PUA phase, and was attempting to date with no stupid manipulative games or anything sleazy (basically, if I would have been embarrassed if my grandmother read about it in the paper, I didn’t do it)
(disclaimer: I never sent a message like in the article. And even as a straight man I wish I knew some buff sexy party guys because I bet they’d be a lot of fun to hang out with. Also, if I sent a message and didn’t get a reply I took the hint and never contacted her again. I’m naturally creepy but I do all I can to keep it to the absolute minimum).
I contacted close to two hundred women during the couple years I was on dating websites (OK cupid and Plenty of Fish, Eharmony rejected my application). Maybe 25 or so would deign to speak with me. 15 were willing to meet me in real life. 2 actually showed up for the date and the rest stood me up. Neither worked out.
In that period, not one single woman contacted me first.
At the end of that period, I just accepted that I wasn’t cut out for relationships and decided to do my own thing (Did I “go my own way”? HELL NO.)
“Would deign to speak with me”? You might want to reconsider the assumptions that go into a comment like that.
I think I might have communicated poorly. How about “were not willing to reply to my message”? Is that a better way of putting that?
That is better, but I’m still side-eyeing the way it was initially phrased. Do you see how entitled that sounded?
I do now, and will phrase that differently in the future. Thanks for pointing that out, I don’t want to give the wrong impression
That’s it!
I am now becoming a Sexy Buff Party Guy Advocate. The MRA’s have declared open season on these poor chaps, so now I will take a brave stand for them. Someone has to do it. Stop abusing the Sexy Buff Party Guys!
Who is with me?
What would be even better would be “did not respond”, since you don’t actually have any way of knowing why they didn’t respond, nor was it in any way wrong of them not to do so.
Yeah, I didn’t want or mean to imply either of those things (neither that they were in the wrong to respond, nor that I knew the reason why). Thank you for your constructive criticism.
Thanks for taking it in the spirit intended and not getting defensive.
Every guy on internet dating sites is EXACTLY like him. Someone has to be the one to tell the actual truth. The only difference is, he comes out and at least actually admits it. Not me, because I am not on those websites, I am a sexy buff party guy but that’s just a co-incidence, even if I wasn’t, I still wouldn’t be up on those sex websites.
I’m pretty sure “everybody is like that” isn’t the same as “acting like this is acceptable”.
Not trying to be offensive, I’m just saying…
I didn’t know this was even an option. From now on, only sexy buff party guys get responses.
It can be the new setting. Looking for men/women/both/sexy buff party guys.
Going to ask OKCupid if they can add that for me.
OH, I don’t think every single guy is exactly like the guy in question. I just think a lot of the man’s that are genuinely interested in getting to know you, get buried under all the creepers, stalkers and verbally aggressive ones. So basically comes down to, the woman’s end up either giving up on finding someone or having to paddle through all the crap thrown her way. That is just my opinion.
Have you no mercy, no compassion for the poor guy writing this message? You don’t know his history. Perhaps, just perhaps… he and a friend of the female persuasion, in a relationship of true, chaste love and purity, were on a quest to find the holy grail. But alas, they took shelter from a storm in a tower filled with sexy buff party guys, who seduced his weak companion when she spoke to them, against his knowledge and will. She, having been tainted by party-penis, grew more aloof, until finally, at the gates to the grail itself, she stomped on his nether regions and cursed him for his lack of buff party-sex. Thus he was forbidden to fetch the grail and save humanity. He found he was indeed cursed, for no woman on his return trip would speak to him, see him, or acknowledge him but instead fall all over a buff sexy party guy who appeared in a puff of smoke nearby, like a naughty, hot genie of the lamp. The only way to break the curse is with true love’s friendship but how, when no woman will speak to him?
On a more serious note, the internet is full of these messages from guys who are old enough to know better but seriously leave the rest of us scratching our heads and thinking “What exactly were you trying to accomplish?” because securing a date can’t be the goal.
Have you seen our friend Michael in the Dalrock thread? The goal isn’t to get a date, it’s to punish women for preferring other men to the man doing the ranting.
If Indiana Jones has taught me anything, it’s that you should never go looking for holy objects.