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When you assume: A “Nice Guy” launches a pre-emptive strike

Sexy buff party guys
Sexy buff party guys

So I’ve been reading Reddit’s CreepyPMs subreddit a lot lately, where the recipients of bizarre and, well, creepy personal messages share them with the world. As you might imagine, some of the creepiest come from complete strangers on dating sites, like the following message received by a young woman on MeetMe, who put up a profile stating that she was looking for friends only (she already has a boyfriend) and that she would talk to anyone.

Well, one young man didn’t quite believe her, and sent this message:

assume

He doesn’t judge, huh? That’s the most judgy non-judgemental message I’ve ever seen.

If you haven’t already checked out CreepyPMs, go take a look. You can lose hours in there.

 

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Ashley
10 years ago

I don’t even know how I would respond to that, but I would make it creative.

Karalora
Karalora
10 years ago

@Ashley, how about just replying with a link to the Wikipedia article on self-fulfilling prophecies? No other text, just the link.

Viscaria
Viscaria
10 years ago

I was 20 years old at the time and much less willing to speak my mind than I am now, so I’m pretty sure I just went the block-and-forget route.

Lisa Michelle Copeland
10 years ago

Omg It reminds me of this guy who keeps messaging me on OKCupid, though initially he messaged me for the sole purpose of telling me I was crazy and had more baggage than anyone would want to deal with and has since told me I don’t know what I’m talking about when I called him out because I am 20. Oh, also he says I have a “whale vagina.” He’s not angry and bitter that a pretty girl is asexual and doesn’t like jerks, he just needs to tell me what a crazy person I am, right?

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

…What’s a “whale vagina”?

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Like, orca? Blue whale? Subset of the whale family, like dolphins?

Lisa Michelle Copeland
10 years ago

That’s what I’d like to know. I’m not sure if he meant that I was fat (he told me my lack of full body picture meant I must be fat and hate my own body) or if he, like many guys, have no idea how female anatomy works and was accusing me of having a loose vagina.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

So basically it’s like when a guy says “hey, beautiful”, you ignore him, and he then says “yeah well you’re not that hot! I wouldn’t want to fuck you anyway!”.

Entitled dudes and tantrums go together like milk and cookies, but, you know, not delicious at all.

Viscaria
Viscaria
10 years ago

He sounds like a real prize. Sorry he’s harassing you.

vaiyt
10 years ago

To me, the whole thing looked like an attempt at negging while still keeping the nice guy act. Kinda like the “I am not racist but” of pick-up artistry.

leftwingfox
10 years ago

vaiyt: Agreed, although the “I’m not judging” turns this awful to hilariously awful.

That level of cluelessness would be unbelievable, if it weren’t so damn common.

neuroticbeagle
10 years ago

Speaking of cats, my family firmly believes that cats are capable of emitting “sleep rays” that make any humans in the vicinity desire to nap, preferably with a blanket and furry friend. My two are fully capable of sending these out full-strength, despite being mere babies.

Does anyone else experience this, and are cats the only furrinati capable of this?

I experience this all the time. My beagle is capable of doing this while she is under the blanket. Sleep rays go right through the blanket- must be how it gets so warm.

grumpycatisagirl
10 years ago

Whale vagina? WTF.

grumpycatisagirl
10 years ago

Speaking of cats, my family firmly believes that cats are capable of emitting “sleep rays” that make any humans in the vicinity desire to nap, preferably with a blanket and furry friend.

Oh good Lord, yes. My kitty tempts me to emulate his sleeping patterns all the time. It’s a trap.

Monster
10 years ago

I used to get a lot of quite similar messages when I tried OKCupid, although this guy here has just gone straight ahead and cut out all the filler and the (usually) innocent-looking first message…guess he is in a real hurry to get the rejections over.

Sounds like exactly the kind of person I’d like to be friends with!

Robert
Robert
10 years ago

I went to the CreepyPM subreddit. Oh my good good NESS. Much badmindedness to be found. What especially disturbed me.were the ones who apparently believe that they’re being charming and/or pleasant, and they’re just not. Then they get rejected, and reveal just how angry and entitled they are.

I always wondered at people who slow down to rubberneck at car crashes. I think I understand it better now.

Robert Ramirez
10 years ago

That guy who wrote her had to be around 15. I know…I know it is ageism, but no mature human being is going to message a person with one big whine.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Oh how I wish that was true. First time I heard that kind of whine I was in my early teens, and it was coming from a man in his 40s.

Robert Ramirez
10 years ago

Harping on poor defenseless Sexy Buff Party Guys™ is not a way to show that you are caring and respectful. What did those poor Sexy Buff Party Guys™ ever do to him?

BabyLawyer
BabyLawyer
10 years ago

Only January and I already know what Mr. Baby’s Halloween costume will be. Thanks, Nice Guys (TM)!

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
10 years ago

This reminds me of that George Saunders short story where a guy is sitting on a bench watching a young lady walk out of a church. He finds her attractive, and starts fantasizing about walking up to her, chatting her up, and getting her number. Then he imagines how they’d go on one date, then two, then several. Then they would fall deeply in love and run off together and end up in Mexico living in a hut on a hacienda harvesting fruit, having deep conversations, and making love every night by candlelight while the stereo played romantic music.

Then he thinks that she’d probably grow bored with him, and they’d start arguing, and the sex would wane, and then she’d want a divorce, the little bitch, and just who did she think she was, screwing him over like that, and what was a stereo doing in a Mexican hut anyway? FUCK HER.

By the time she’s walked fifteen feet he’s already mentally broken up with her and hates her guts.

Shaenon
10 years ago

Are you in San Diego?

Shaenon
10 years ago

Do women on OKCupid do this? Do they message random men and go, “Just so you know, I thought of asking you out, but you’d just dump me for some blonde bimbo with big tits and the two of you would make fun of my weird toe knuckle hair because you’re stupid and shallow and I bet you have a mustache that smells like pickles HOW DARE YOU REJECT ME NO I REJECT YOU FIRST SO THERE HAHAHAHA!”

And the guy is sitting in his cubicle at work, just staring.

markb
markb
10 years ago

If you read the comments on that thread, it turns out the woman who received this wrote back to give him a piece of her mind, and his response was something like, “Cool, so what’s up?” He was definitely baiting her. Not so much a Pick Up Artist as a Put Down Artist.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

I can partially answer that. So, when Mr C and I broke up for a while and I was on dating sites I had my status set as looking for both men and women, so I got messages from both. Weird, pre-rejecting and/or angry entitlement frothing and/or just downright creeptastic messages from men? Lots. Similar messages from women? None. And I got plenty of messages from women.