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Become a total Alpha Male sex god by spitting in women’s mouths

Always practics safe saliva sex
Always practice safe saliva sex

Hey ladies! Better not read today’s post, as it’s only for ALPHA DUDES and would-be ALPHA DUDES. For while I was out looking for Man Boobz material I happened to run across some excellent and not-at-all ridiculous advice from a dude called FISTO on how ALPHA DUDES can use sex to totally control the ladies.

This advice is so totally ALPHA I feel I can only dispense it in small doses, so here are a few tips. Only after you have totally mastered these tips to totally master the ladies should you even consider reading the rest of the post I got them from.  (Also, to be serious for a moment, it’s also fucked up and possibly triggery, so you may not even want to read my post.)

First of all, you need to know that

Women fall in love with you when you Make them feel special + Make them feel feminine …

When they love you, you have the power. …

You will become the man she desperately needs and is terrified of losing.

Ok, so how do you do this? Easy as pie!

Women release the hormone OXYTOCIN during sex, the more intimate and powerful the pleasure for her, the more you will own her ass.

And that means ORGASMS, baby!

The most common orgasm a woman has is the Clitoral Orgasm.  Most people know you can stimulate her to climax with your hands or tongue or when fucking you can angle your body so it gets rubbed by your rock hard abs.

Wait, what?

you can angle your body so it gets rubbed by your rock hard abs.

You can angle your body to rub her clit with your abs.

Ok, I am just going to have to take his word for this. Granted, I don’t actually have rock-hard-abs, but I’m pretty sure that unless you are literally this dude

Lower-Ab-Workouts

no part of your abs — not even your lower abs, down there between the six pack and the you-know-what — are going to be rocking her clit.

Anyhoo, if you want to make her feel especially feminine and special, you need to

do what a Lion does when it hears a wounded animal and go in for the kill.

And what that means is spitting. Lots of spitting. Possibly NONCONSENSUAL spitting.

Ladies love spitting!

Making her open her mouth and spitting in it, spitting on her face, baby smacking her face, her tits, really throwing down on her ass leaving big red handprints, making her tell you that’s your pussy, and on and on. That’s what bonds her to you, that’s the Greater Alpha Male Long Game.

Ok, you say, I’m totally down with this ALPHA stuff but do the ladies really like all of this spitting?

Well, that’s exactly what some dude asked in the comments to FISTO’s totally ALPHA post, and FISTO laid down some TRUTH on him:

You gotta amp up the intensity of the encounter, you have to escalate by kissing her and making her swallow big drips of saliva, then when you start fucking her tell her to open her mouth, she may say no. Tell her “DO IT”. She will whimper and then do it, and let it drip right in there. Then when you get going hard and the smacking ensues let her rip. It’s not for everyone, but you’ll likely be THE ONLY ONE that does it to her. And that’s leaving a mark.

Pressuring women into doing humiliating things after they say no … what could be more ALPHA than that?

… and I don’t really have any more jokes for today.

I can only hope that all of Fisto’s alleged sexual experience is made up, not just some of it.

I found Fisto and his Red Pill advice through the excellent Blue Pill subreddit. It was also posted in r/sex, where it was, thankfully, downvoted and ridiculed.

NOTE: Added a trigger warning of sorts.

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dallasapple
dallasapple
10 years ago

Maybe “love at first site” is just when people walk in on each other masturbating.

That’s gotta be the explanation . But wouldn’t that kind of be cheating on your self ?Won’t your self get jealous that your self now loves another person besides your self ?

And what about origies ?Does everybody fall in love with everybody there ,and desperately need everybody there forever , and everybody owns each other’s asses ?

freemage
10 years ago

Ally: Just… ick. Sorry you had that kind of encounter.

Shaenon: Thanks for the science lesson; always welcome rejoinder to this sort of bs.

On topic: I think to illustrate this guy’s suggestion for sex, you’d need to take several pages out of the kama sutra and then subject them to an origami-type folding project.

What I truly suspect is that not only does he not have any experience with sex outside of porn, but he also doesn’t understand how cut-takes work. So he sees several rapid-fire shots of different sexual positions with no transitions, and just assumes that’s how sex works. (There’s a similar explanation, oddly, for a lot of Rob Liefield’s infamously bad comic art–he draws the body parts separately, and just sort of mashes them together, with the resulting boob-and-butt poses being something that looks like a past-up collage from Maxim magazine.)

kittehserf
10 years ago

I am distracting you from the way I SECRETLY CONTROL THIS BLOG.

Well of course you do, cloudiah. You are David.

Maybe it was supposed to be like he’s so manly he was born from a lion, but not a female lion, that would make him a mangina. So a male lion was given stool softener and that’s how Connery was born.

Am I the only one seeing this Oglaf now? (NSFW)

Ally – ew, stupid young shitbag. Common as muck in every sense. But seconding what Kiwi Girl said.

Also … abs on clitoris … sorry, no, I don’t really want to dislocate my hips so some nitwit can fit his abdomen down there. Not that I’d want sex with someone with “rock hard abs” anyway, I find ’em a total turn-off.

cupisnique
10 years ago

“At no point in the article the author talks about doing something against another persons’ will. It has become like a reflex in feminist circles to jump to abuse and even rape conclusions”

Really, Carlos? pretty sure this excerpt is very nonconsensual, in fact the imaginary woman in this scenario says “no”.

“tell her to open her mouth, she may say no. Tell her “DO IT”. She will whimper and then do it, and let it drip right in there”

Diana Adams
Diana Adams
10 years ago

Ok, you say, I’m totally down with this ALPHA stuff but do the ladies really like all of this spitting?

No, and I feel sorry for any woman who ends up in bed with this guy, although I don’t exclude the possibility that someone out there could like this as well.

cupisnique
10 years ago

It’s funny that Fisto tries to shame us by insinuating we’re really the ones with rape fantasies lawl what a joke.

sparky
sparky
10 years ago

Oh look, Fisto has graced is with his presence. Hey Fisto, were you aware that your “red pill” is actually the stool softener, colace?

TW from her on in: rape, rape apologia

Carlos:

At no point in the article the author talks about doing something against another persons’ will. It has become like a reflex in feminist circles to jump to abuse and even rape conclusions.

Why yes, at multiple points in Fisto’s article he explicitly talks about doing stuff against a woman’s will, while also rationalizing any kind of pain or unwillingness on the woman’s part as a play-act, because, deep down, we all know she really. And that is rape apologia at its worst.

My theory for this is because women start acting like wounded little lambs, whimpering in distress when they’re about to be fucked. It’s because they WANT you to take them

Don’t believe a woman when she’s whimpering in pain. Instead:

The Alpha Male will do what a Lion does when it hears a wounded animal and go in for the kill.

Make her do this, make her do that:

Looking her in the eyes, telling her you own her, telling her she was made for you to fuck. Making her open her mouth and spitting in it, spitting on her face, baby smacking her face, her tits, really throwing down on her ass leaving big red handprints, making her tell you that’s your pussy, and on and on.

And of course, women are children who need a big strong man to sexually discipline them or they run wild:

I don’t want to hear any whining about how women are equal and that’s immoral etc etc.

Woman are like children (yes yes, so are most men since they are beta males but I’m not wanting to date/bang them), and we’ve all seen those little brats running around behaving poorly when they aren’t put in check. So don’t preach to me about respecting children. Women crave to be disciplined and align themselves with a stronger male persona. This is a primal, genetic, trait. Arguing against it is a waste of all of our time.

Carlos:

One of the commentators above was even ready to generalize this article, which she clearly didn’t even understand, and use it justify her fantasy and see more men getting INDEED falsely accused of rape. Being falsely accused of abuse or rape is AS bad as the crime itself: “It is better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer”

No one here is cackling evilly over the thought of men being falsely accused of rape. As to the rest of it, I could quote actual statistics about the rate of false rape accusations vs the conviction rate of rapists vs the number of total rapes that get reported to the police. I could attempt to explain to you the physical, mental and emotional trauma that rape causes, and how that is absolutely not equivalent to being falsely accused of rape. But I would be wasting my time. You are a sad, sorry little asshole.

Ally S
10 years ago

@Carlos

At no point in the article the author talks about doing something against another persons’ will.

See: the part about spitting

It has become like a reflex in feminist circles to jump to abuse and even rape conclusions.

Probably because rape and abuse are extremely common and so are the attitudes that enable rapists and abusers. Some of which are expressed by the article.

Being falsely accused of abuse or rape is AS bad as the crime itself: “It is better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer”

So, if you had the choice of setting 10 rapists free for the sake of stopping one person from being falsely accused of rape, you would let those 10 rapists free. Free to commit even more crimes.

That sounds like a very effective way to reduce rape! Anyway, fuck off rape apologist.

Ally S
10 years ago

I strongly suspect that the name FISTO is supposed to be some stupid “alpha” name that refers to fisting. That’s kind of like how a lot of these Manosphere dudes make up their silly names.

Diana Adams
Diana Adams
10 years ago

Women release the hormone OXYTOCIN during sex, the more intimate and powerful the pleasure for her, the more you will own her ass.

Men release the exact same hormone as well as many others. So whatever oxytocin does to the woman it does the same to him. I can’t believe the ammount of time these people spend trying to find some ‘rational’ and ‘scientific’ ground for their interactions with women only to end up with the most idiotic theories ever born.

Integral
Integral
10 years ago

Something about FISTO screams 12 year old boy whose parents aren’t monitoring his internet use sufficiently.

freemage
10 years ago

Can we just call BINGO!* on Fisto and Carlos and be done with them? Flat-out rape apologia’s usually a ban-worthy offense, yeah? And there’s simply no way that what Fisto was describing could be interpreted as consensual sex.

*: Referring to the various rape-culture bingo cards I’ve seen in various places.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

I am the mighty FISTO! Tremble before me and despair!

This makes me sexy, right? All the ladies want me to own their ass now?

kittehserf
10 years ago

Well I hope your readers learn something, and yes, I do resemble the guy in the photo. Nothing I’m describing is against anyone’s will. I find it very telling that some of your commenters assume that. Sounds like projected sexual fantasies ; ) Glad you’re a reader. Cheers.

You said this:

then when you start fucking her tell her to open her mouth, she may say no. Tell her “DO IT”. She will whimper and then do it, and let it drip right in there.

So we’ve learned you’re a lying piece of shit as well as one that knows nothing about anatomy, or psychology, or how bodies and their chemicals work. We certainly learned you get all your fantasy material from porn and you’ve likely never been near a woman in your life. Which is a good thing, since you obviously hate us.

Stick to fucking yourself, creepy little guy.

katz
10 years ago

The first time I ever had a wet dream I fell in love with my mattress and pillows. And I desperately needed sleep, I was terrified at the thought of losing it …My mattress and sleep OWNED my ass from that point on !

Teenagers explained.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Ninjaed by everyone! 😛

I agree with Freemage; Fisto et al (if they are more than one person) are advocating rape. Banhammer time.

I strongly suspect that the name FISTO is supposed to be some stupid “alpha” name that refers to fisting. That’s kind of like how a lot of these Manosphere dudes make up their silly names.

I thought the same thing, but for accuracy, he really should be CRANIUMO ‘cos his head’s planted so firmly up his arse. Very alpha, that.

kittehserf
10 years ago

The first time I ever had a wet dream I fell in love with my mattress and pillows. And I desperately needed sleep, I was terrified at the thought of losing it …My mattress and sleep OWNED my ass from that point on !

Teenagers explained.

And some aged parents! 😉

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Poor FISTO is imprinted on porn. His computer owns his ass, and he can’t reach orgasm without a mouse in his other hand.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Actually when you think about it the name does make sense.

kittehserf
10 years ago

::snicker::

I guess FISTO sounds more alpha than Rosy Palm.

girlseule
10 years ago

Holy Shit! If someone belted me on the arse and spat in my mouth, I’d get the fuck out of there and never go back! How, how is that supposed to work? I hope a bunch of dickheads don’t read that and think it’s good advice and try it. Vom vom vom!!!!1

leatapp
leatapp
10 years ago

He brings shame upon the name of FISTO!
http://disney.wikia.com/wiki/Kit_Fisto

The force is not with him.

Bina
10 years ago

Making her open her mouth and spitting in it, spitting on her face, baby smacking her face, her tits, really throwing down on her ass leaving big red handprints, making her tell you that’s your pussy, and on and on. That’s what bonds her to you, that’s the Greater Alpha Male Long Game.

Actually, that’s a great way to get me kicking your sorry ass out and never wanting to see it again.