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Become a total Alpha Male sex god by spitting in women’s mouths

Always practics safe saliva sex
Always practice safe saliva sex

Hey ladies! Better not read today’s post, as it’s only for ALPHA DUDES and would-be ALPHA DUDES. For while I was out looking for Man Boobz material I happened to run across some excellent and not-at-all ridiculous advice from a dude called FISTO on how ALPHA DUDES can use sex to totally control the ladies.

This advice is so totally ALPHA I feel I can only dispense it in small doses, so here are a few tips. Only after you have totally mastered these tips to totally master the ladies should you even consider reading the rest of the post I got them from.  (Also, to be serious for a moment, it’s also fucked up and possibly triggery, so you may not even want to read my post.)

First of all, you need to know that

Women fall in love with you when you Make them feel special + Make them feel feminine …

When they love you, you have the power. …

You will become the man she desperately needs and is terrified of losing.

Ok, so how do you do this? Easy as pie!

Women release the hormone OXYTOCIN during sex, the more intimate and powerful the pleasure for her, the more you will own her ass.

And that means ORGASMS, baby!

The most common orgasm a woman has is the Clitoral Orgasm.  Most people know you can stimulate her to climax with your hands or tongue or when fucking you can angle your body so it gets rubbed by your rock hard abs.

Wait, what?

you can angle your body so it gets rubbed by your rock hard abs.

You can angle your body to rub her clit with your abs.

Ok, I am just going to have to take his word for this. Granted, I don’t actually have rock-hard-abs, but I’m pretty sure that unless you are literally this dude

Lower-Ab-Workouts

no part of your abs — not even your lower abs, down there between the six pack and the you-know-what — are going to be rocking her clit.

Anyhoo, if you want to make her feel especially feminine and special, you need to

do what a Lion does when it hears a wounded animal and go in for the kill.

And what that means is spitting. Lots of spitting. Possibly NONCONSENSUAL spitting.

Ladies love spitting!

Making her open her mouth and spitting in it, spitting on her face, baby smacking her face, her tits, really throwing down on her ass leaving big red handprints, making her tell you that’s your pussy, and on and on. That’s what bonds her to you, that’s the Greater Alpha Male Long Game.

Ok, you say, I’m totally down with this ALPHA stuff but do the ladies really like all of this spitting?

Well, that’s exactly what some dude asked in the comments to FISTO’s totally ALPHA post, and FISTO laid down some TRUTH on him:

You gotta amp up the intensity of the encounter, you have to escalate by kissing her and making her swallow big drips of saliva, then when you start fucking her tell her to open her mouth, she may say no. Tell her “DO IT”. She will whimper and then do it, and let it drip right in there. Then when you get going hard and the smacking ensues let her rip. It’s not for everyone, but you’ll likely be THE ONLY ONE that does it to her. And that’s leaving a mark.

Pressuring women into doing humiliating things after they say no … what could be more ALPHA than that?

… and I don’t really have any more jokes for today.

I can only hope that all of Fisto’s alleged sexual experience is made up, not just some of it.

I found Fisto and his Red Pill advice through the excellent Blue Pill subreddit. It was also posted in r/sex, where it was, thankfully, downvoted and ridiculed.

NOTE: Added a trigger warning of sorts.

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katz
10 years ago

Socky’s gravatar is a watch model, by the way.

thebobgoblin
10 years ago

@Christian MacQueen

See, that’s the difference between us. I enjoy consensual sex with sexy (to me) in-shape WOMEN, not girls. I prefer sexytimes with mature adults, and have no pedophiliac tendencies, not an misogynist egotistic need to perceive grown women as children.

You’re an immature idiot, even assuming your boasts are true, which experience tells me they’re not.

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

Whew, pass the Febreeze. We got some dirty socks up in here.

titianblue
titianblue
10 years ago

If you want a really good laugh, click on “Christian McQueen”‘s avatar & read his biopic. Absolutely hilarious.

leatapp
leatapp
10 years ago

Something about “Carlos” makes me want to watch Sifl and Olly. What could it be?

So not crescent fresh.

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

dykes, feminists and man-haters

He says these like they’re bad things.

Could they be less creative? Next up: dying alone with cats.

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

They WERE 11km apart! HAHAHAHAHA.

Thank you, Dark Lord.

katz
10 years ago

Fisto and Carlos were the same all along? I never saw that coming.

shayla
shayla
10 years ago

Oh my god, these poor fuckers who think the worst insult is to tell people they’re not good enough to sleep with them. What a… loss? How indeed will I live without banging some sad dude who has to perch his entire self-esteem on sexy sex conquests, has no capacity for self-reflection, and no ability to spell “Brazilian”? By the spit of Thor, such mistakes I have made!

leatapp
leatapp
10 years ago

“Dykes, Feminists and Man-haters” is going to be the name of my punk/funk/country western/ska/alt rock/screamo fusion band.

I play the kazoo..

ignotussomnium
ignotussomnium
10 years ago

They’re like cockroaches. You squish one and another appears.

Ally S
10 years ago

I honestly almost believed that Carlos and Fisto were two different people. I’m not sure why.

thebobgoblin
10 years ago

How many zeros are in a brazillion, anyway?

titianblue
titianblue
10 years ago

Well, Mikey is still wittering on about SPINSTERS on the dalrock thread if you’re bored …

grumpycatisagirl
grumpycatisagirl
10 years ago

That was one sad pathetic troll sock. Good riddance.

grumpycatisagirl
grumpycatisagirl
10 years ago

Mikey’s horribleness is comic relief from this base horribleness, which I found nothing funny about.

Robert Ramirez
10 years ago

I think Fisto somehow believes that a woman’s clitoris is located near her navel or somehow he confuses the clitoris with a navel.

I don’t think he has that much game. I think like maybe he is in the 7th grade. Hell when I was in the 7th grade I knew the difference between a navel and the clitoris…so maybe…the 5th grade.

leatapp
leatapp
10 years ago

Christian McQueen’s avatar is a watch model?!?
ROTFLMAO.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Kittesherf, I’m specifically addressing you. I have corrected you over and over. You insist I watch porn (I don’t, if that’s someone else’s thing great, it isn’t for me).

You insist the girls are terrified of me (they aren’t, or the many many text messages talking about wanting to fuck me again after are lies)

You are the type of person that is hopeless I’m afraid. Reason is out the window, common ground, well there isn’t anymore. You have built a fortress of hatred around yourself. That suggests to me that you are hurting yourself quite a bit.

Sonny, I quote your own words back at you. You’re a rapist if you’ve done what you describe. I don’t hate you; I despise you. Hate is for the fuckers like politicians who can actually affect my life. Big difference. As for hurting, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA you’ve never read anything here, have you?

Protip: this is a mockery blog. We mock misogynists. You fit the description perfectly, however you try to weasel-word out of the implications of everything you wrote.

titianblue
titianblue
10 years ago

“Christian McQueen,” FWIW, is a recognized personality in the manosphere.

Holy crap, you mean someone went out & wrote the following in all seriousness?

Christian McQueen is the best-selling author of Nightclub Bible: The Authority On Picking Up Women In Nightclubs and Stripclub Bible: The Authority on Picking Up Strippers.

His next book The Alpha Playboy: Every Man’s Guide To Kicking Ass In The Game Of Life will be released Jan 6th, 2014.

Having sold books around the world and offering the famous http://www.VegasHangoverExperience.com as well as being a weekly columnist on the infamous http://www.ReturnofKings.com site, Christian has made a name for himself by being the top nightclub expert in the world.

Questions and/or press inquires: [email protected]

Best-selling? Press inquiries? The mind, it boggles!

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

Good riddance, glad to see those two that one gone. Thanks David!

Hm, it would be a good time for Ben and Jerry’s saved for a special occasion, if I had any saved. My latest batch of cory eggs hatched! No sign of the fry yet, but that’s no surprise given they’re about as big as the dreaded two dot ellipsis at this point. So folks, break out the special occasion treats and give my newest fish a birthday party!

kittehserf
10 years ago

Ladies, there are men out there that would run into a burning building to save you, then run back in to save your cats.

There are men that work thanklessly and tirelessly for you in ways you’d never know.

There are good men, with big hearts out there that just want to have a woman that loves them back.

Lonely, good men, that are terrified of approaching you and just saying hello.

Hey idiot, did anyone say there aren’t? For that matter, I’ll save my cats myself, thankyouverymuch, or die trying (and btw there are people in danger of this all over my state right now, so go fuck yourself, ‘k?)

I don’t want good, bad or indifferent men approaching me. I’m married to a man I’ve loved all my adult life.

I don’t suppose it’s ever occurred to you that women fill exactly the same roles you describe – working tirelessly for you in ways you’d never know, wanting love, whatever. Nooo, it’s all the sad heroic men.

You do know you don’t fit your noble description of men, don’t you? Someone into sexual brutality with an unwilling partner, not least when it’s part of his fairy tale of controlling her and making her afraid to lose him, has nothing going for him.

titianblue
titianblue
10 years ago

Yea! Happy Birthday, Argenti’s fish.

Monster
10 years ago

Woo! Babby fish!

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