Hey ladies! Better not read today’s post, as it’s only for ALPHA DUDES and would-be ALPHA DUDES. For while I was out looking for Man Boobz material I happened to run across some excellent and not-at-all ridiculous advice from a dude called FISTO on how ALPHA DUDES can use sex to totally control the ladies.
This advice is so totally ALPHA I feel I can only dispense it in small doses, so here are a few tips. Only after you have totally mastered these tips to totally master the ladies should you even consider reading the rest of the post I got them from. (Also, to be serious for a moment, it’s also fucked up and possibly triggery, so you may not even want to read my post.)
First of all, you need to know that
Women fall in love with you when you Make them feel special + Make them feel feminine …
When they love you, you have the power. …
You will become the man she desperately needs and is terrified of losing.
Ok, so how do you do this? Easy as pie!
Women release the hormone OXYTOCIN during sex, the more intimate and powerful the pleasure for her, the more you will own her ass.
And that means ORGASMS, baby!
The most common orgasm a woman has is the Clitoral Orgasm. Most people know you can stimulate her to climax with your hands or tongue or when fucking you can angle your body so it gets rubbed by your rock hard abs.
Wait, what?
you can angle your body so it gets rubbed by your rock hard abs.
You can angle your body to rub her clit with your abs.
Ok, I am just going to have to take his word for this. Granted, I don’t actually have rock-hard-abs, but I’m pretty sure that unless you are literally this dude
no part of your abs — not even your lower abs, down there between the six pack and the you-know-what — are going to be rocking her clit.
Anyhoo, if you want to make her feel especially feminine and special, you need to
do what a Lion does when it hears a wounded animal and go in for the kill.
And what that means is spitting. Lots of spitting. Possibly NONCONSENSUAL spitting.
Ladies love spitting!
Making her open her mouth and spitting in it, spitting on her face, baby smacking her face, her tits, really throwing down on her ass leaving big red handprints, making her tell you that’s your pussy, and on and on. That’s what bonds her to you, that’s the Greater Alpha Male Long Game.
Ok, you say, I’m totally down with this ALPHA stuff but do the ladies really like all of this spitting?
Well, that’s exactly what some dude asked in the comments to FISTO’s totally ALPHA post, and FISTO laid down some TRUTH on him:
You gotta amp up the intensity of the encounter, you have to escalate by kissing her and making her swallow big drips of saliva, then when you start fucking her tell her to open her mouth, she may say no. Tell her “DO IT”. She will whimper and then do it, and let it drip right in there. Then when you get going hard and the smacking ensues let her rip. It’s not for everyone, but you’ll likely be THE ONLY ONE that does it to her. And that’s leaving a mark.
Pressuring women into doing humiliating things after they say no … what could be more ALPHA than that?
… and I don’t really have any more jokes for today.
I can only hope that all of Fisto’s alleged sexual experience is made up, not just some of it.
I found Fisto and his Red Pill advice through the excellent Blue Pill subreddit. It was also posted in r/sex, where it was, thankfully, downvoted and ridiculed.
NOTE: Added a trigger warning of sorts.
Okay, I know the hilariously clueless descriptions of sex are the big draw here, but the misuse of oxytocin to defend an amazing variety of misogynistic ideas is one of my one billion science pet peeves.
Oxytocin is not a magic aphrodisiac that causes women to fall instantly in love with the first thing they see during orgasm. For one thing, both men and women release oxytocin during sex. We also release it during non-sexual bonding situations, like spending time with friends. The actual strength of the oxytocin effect in various situations is unknown. Its primary purpose seems to be to help women through childbirth and the postpartum period by relaxing the muscles and creating a feeling of calm. It may also be important to enabling orgasm–again, in both men and women–but this is still unclear.
I cannot repeat this enough: BOTH MEN AND WOMEN PRODUCE OXYTOCIN. If it has these amazing aphrodisiac effects, you ought to be able to just as easily get a man to fall in love with you by spitting in his mouth. Which I have tried over and over, and I can tell you the results are inconclusive at best.
So let me sum it up:
1.) ???
2.) Fuck.
3.) ???
4.) Profit!
This doesn’t sound like a foolproof plan to me. But what do I know with my feeble girly brain.
It’s the “confused seal” position.
Don’t forget that while she’s humping your abs, you should also be spitting in her mouth, slapping her ass, punching her boobs, and yelling stuff at her. All at the same time.
Worst Kama Sutra page ever.
It’s not for everyone, but you’ll likely be THE ONLY ONE that does it to her.
Well, I’d certainly hope so.
He is literally saying that he wants to control women through terror. How can anyone claim that PUA isn’t misogynistic?
@leatapp, well said.
I once had a guy try to say what he thought was terribly alpha stuff to me during sex. I started laughing and there went that encounter, never to be repeated.
No one’s that bendy.
So basically he’s admitting that his only experience of sex is watching porn, and he thinks porn movies are hard-hitting documentaries after which the actresses follow the actors around going PLEASE MARRY ME I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT YOU.
LOL, what a dumbass.
On the bit about rubbing her clit with your abs, the only way that makes sense is if he thinks a woman’s clit is in her bellybutton. Which in his case wouldn’t surprise me.
Forgive me if this is TMI, but:
I had a partner once who was very much into rough sex. Some pron-worthy things were done, though spitting didn’t enter into it. Neither did boob-punching. Some ass-smacking. She dumped me because I was getting too serious.
I had another partner who, more than any other, I know for sure had orgasms. She didn’t stay with me either; she’d just stopped by for an afternoon of comfort sex before she departed NYC, where she couldn’t bear to live anymore because her life-partner, who fits an MRA description of a beta to a T, had passed away. She told me his spirit approved of me, though, so that was nice.
With my current girlfriend, we met because she had a D&D joke in her OKCupid profile, and we spent our first date (where we went to see the 2011 prequel to John Carpenter’s The Thing) discussing whether the Thing was a discrete creature, or a disease with a hive-mind.
If his abs are anywhere near her clitoris, he must be, what, about six inches tall?
He’s got a long walk ahead to get anywhere near her mouth, and somehow I don’t think his teeny tiny smacks are going to leave handprints.
I wonder if it’s occurred to him that spitting in someone’s mouth would be a good way to get vomited on? Wonder how sexy he’d find that.
Thanks, kittehs. Now I’m imagining a Ken doll trying to neg a woman while humping her groin with his little plastic abs.
There was an issue of The Avengers where Ant-Man and The Wasp used their powers in just this way…
Must be Ultimates-verse….
Only of she’s been with a PUA as a comparison. I know I’d chose vibrator every time over a PUA.
Cassandra – well, Ken would be a better option than this dude!
Maybe? Guys like this do seem to have some sort of weird jealousy of sex toys, though that might just be part of their general disapproval of women’s sexual pleasure.
I don’t want to think about this rapey asshat right now. I want to think about this incredibly smart beagle:
Please tell me that’s a joke. Gentleman, don’t ever spit around a woman when she has you you by the balls – literally.
To be honest, I’d rather think about these not-so-clever dogs than this rapey asshat:
Let’s pretend one even could rub their clit on someone’s abs during intercourse…seems like the most ineffective form of stimulation, ever.
That’s what I said . That she “owns his ass too then” because men produce it too .We also produce it when we nurse . And interestingly when we interact with our pets. The animals produce it too that is how they bond with us .
Snrk, idjit thinks porn is real life. Furthermore, knows that every dumb fuck who drifts into PUA is a clueless moron whose only knowledge and interaction with sex is mainstream pornography.
It would be funnier if they were just a bunch of clueless virgins circle-jerking each other rather than a con game where a bunch of misogynists are deliberately exploiting the worries about fitting within toxic masculinity and worries about having relationships among young men to sell them a life-long self-reinforcing ideology on being a creepy rapist fuck who learns to blame all their problems on women.
And with that, I probably defined the entire men’s rights movement right there.
Yeah …why not rub your pectoral’s on it while your at it . That sounds really hot ! No WAIT maybe he can get really creative and “position himself “the right way to rub her clit with his calf muscles ???????????? I’m sure that would be the best orgasm EVA!!!!!
There is some hilarious illustrations on the original page. First off, the header is some kind of screaming eagle that looks like it was ripped off from some high school team logo or something.
But the best one is this:
There is a picture of a reddish-orange pill + a male lion = Sean Connery. The hilarious part of that is that I’ve dispensed enough of this reddish-orange pills to know that the pill is docusate sodium, aka colace – a stool softener. It makes you poop. So what he’s saying is if you give a stool softener to a lion you end up with Sean Connery.
Dawwwwwgs.
My husband has tried a few things on me before and I swear I bursted out laughing too. I don’t think he liked that reaction .LOL!!!(I couldn’t help it …it was STUPID)…
Like DUDE stop slapping me with your penis!!! O.K???? Its SILLY!!!!!!(to me anyway)