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Become a total Alpha Male sex god by spitting in women’s mouths

Always practics safe saliva sex
Always practice safe saliva sex

Hey ladies! Better not read today’s post, as it’s only for ALPHA DUDES and would-be ALPHA DUDES. For while I was out looking for Man Boobz material I happened to run across some excellent and not-at-all ridiculous advice from a dude called FISTO on how ALPHA DUDES can use sex to totally control the ladies.

This advice is so totally ALPHA I feel I can only dispense it in small doses, so here are a few tips. Only after you have totally mastered these tips to totally master the ladies should you even consider reading the rest of the post I got them from.  (Also, to be serious for a moment, it’s also fucked up and possibly triggery, so you may not even want to read my post.)

First of all, you need to know that

Women fall in love with you when you Make them feel special + Make them feel feminine …

When they love you, you have the power. …

You will become the man she desperately needs and is terrified of losing.

Ok, so how do you do this? Easy as pie!

Women release the hormone OXYTOCIN during sex, the more intimate and powerful the pleasure for her, the more you will own her ass.

And that means ORGASMS, baby!

The most common orgasm a woman has is the Clitoral Orgasm.  Most people know you can stimulate her to climax with your hands or tongue or when fucking you can angle your body so it gets rubbed by your rock hard abs.

Wait, what?

you can angle your body so it gets rubbed by your rock hard abs.

You can angle your body to rub her clit with your abs.

Ok, I am just going to have to take his word for this. Granted, I don’t actually have rock-hard-abs, but I’m pretty sure that unless you are literally this dude

Lower-Ab-Workouts

no part of your abs — not even your lower abs, down there between the six pack and the you-know-what — are going to be rocking her clit.

Anyhoo, if you want to make her feel especially feminine and special, you need to

do what a Lion does when it hears a wounded animal and go in for the kill.

And what that means is spitting. Lots of spitting. Possibly NONCONSENSUAL spitting.

Ladies love spitting!

Making her open her mouth and spitting in it, spitting on her face, baby smacking her face, her tits, really throwing down on her ass leaving big red handprints, making her tell you that’s your pussy, and on and on. That’s what bonds her to you, that’s the Greater Alpha Male Long Game.

Ok, you say, I’m totally down with this ALPHA stuff but do the ladies really like all of this spitting?

Well, that’s exactly what some dude asked in the comments to FISTO’s totally ALPHA post, and FISTO laid down some TRUTH on him:

You gotta amp up the intensity of the encounter, you have to escalate by kissing her and making her swallow big drips of saliva, then when you start fucking her tell her to open her mouth, she may say no. Tell her “DO IT”. She will whimper and then do it, and let it drip right in there. Then when you get going hard and the smacking ensues let her rip. It’s not for everyone, but you’ll likely be THE ONLY ONE that does it to her. And that’s leaving a mark.

Pressuring women into doing humiliating things after they say no … what could be more ALPHA than that?

… and I don’t really have any more jokes for today.

I can only hope that all of Fisto’s alleged sexual experience is made up, not just some of it.

I found Fisto and his Red Pill advice through the excellent Blue Pill subreddit. It was also posted in r/sex, where it was, thankfully, downvoted and ridiculed.

NOTE: Added a trigger warning of sorts.

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Z
Z
7 years ago

What do unicorns eat, anyway?

Cookies. And they can fell towers to get one.

cupisnique
7 years ago

“Hi, a little late to the party, but Carlos/Fisto’s comment about “de-escalating” reminds me of something my first boyfriend did. I was trying to talk to him about some things he was doing that I wasn’t into, and he flounced off to the lounge room, whining about how “oh I guess we can’t sex at all if I can’t do it right blah blah blah” I ended soothing his broken ego and never really spoke up about it again. But even then, I was pretty amazed that that was how he reacted. I mean really? He also kept suggesting anal even though it holds no interest for me and I made that clear.

In short: Fisto reminds me of my dickhead boyfriend I had at 16. Quality.”

Yeah I had a similar thing happen to me in highschool. My bf at the time wanted to do anal and in the middle of sex just kinda started doing stuff. I immediately just stopped everything told him he can’t just do stuff without asking first. He got angry and I got even angrier and told him I didn’t want to continue doing any kind of sexual intercourse ’cause I was so turned off. He ended up apologizing the next day, but man it was some manipulative bullshit because he totally tried to make me feel sorry for “shaming” him. I had no idea what I was into in highschool and wasn’t really interested in experimenting, but I guess he thought if he just did it there’d be a chance I’d also be into it.

Monster
7 years ago

@Auggziliary – he was saying if you date a man /your own age/ in your 20’s you would get dumped at 30 because of the wall blah blah blah. He’s saying we should still get married in our early/mid 20’s but that it should be to some much older dude who is in his ‘peak’ 30’s or whatever. Who I assume won’t dump you for another younger woman when you reach 30 for some reason not really explained fully.

Monster
7 years ago

Of course it doesn’t apply to men. Only men can TRULY know love and loyalty, women just have tingles and want resources. I think the woman is supposed to withdraw from society and mourn for the rest of her life, or possibly be buried with him for use in the afterlife.

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
7 years ago

@auggziliary, colour me surprised that they haven’t updated their analogy from cake to apple pie.

GillieMimosa
GillieMimosa
7 years ago

@cupisnique
One thing that baffles me looking back is how I was the one with the problem, but somehow I ended up having to comfort him and make his needs a priority over my own. I still catch myself doing now, like purposely ordering less food than I want when my partner is paying. I sometimes think that if I don’t put him ahead that he’ll end up resenting me and thinking I’m a selfish b-tch. It’s silly, I know and my current partner thinks so too but it’s under my skin now and it pops up every now and then.

Shorter Gillie: socialisation is alive and well.

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

Also apparently women have limited love resources in their bodies. He said a woman with lots of partners couldn’t say “I love you” with meaning to her husband because she had already said that to other men before. And he didn’t tell me whether it applied to men or not.

“My bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep;
The more I give to thee, the more I have,
For both are infinite.”

— Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

Incidentally, that’s Juliet’s line. But Mikey would probably say it doesn’t invalidate his argument, because Juliet is 14 and a virgin, and therefore, still in possession of all her gambling chips.

kittehserf
7 years ago

My favorite saga was one where a giant stole his hammer, and Thor had to get it back by dressing in drag as Freyja, bridal veil and all. With Loki as bridesmaid, giggling all the way. If these guys think Thor = megastud, have I got news for them: Your idol was famously dumb as a brick. If you want to get with the ladies, Baldur’s your god.

Yup, that’s the story I remember most about Thor. The other gods laughed their arses off when Loki came up with that idea.

dallasapple
dallasapple
7 years ago

@Auggziliary – he was saying if you date a man /your own age/ in your 20′s you would get dumped at 30 because of the wall blah blah blah. He’s saying we should still get married in our early/mid 20′s but that it should be to some much older dude who is in his ‘peak’ 30′s or whatever. Who I assume won’t dump you for another younger woman when you reach 30 for some reason not really explained fully.

I think that’s funny .Since its women filing most to the divorces.

And besides that its stupid. Women on average peak in their 30’s .So he “leaves” her for a 20 year old ? His ex hitting her prime ? Smart move dude.

catgirl
catgirl
7 years ago

Mikey is a fucking idiot. On his blog a while back he rammed “selective sluts” and basically said that women who are slutty with a few men should fuck all men, including him and others, because people shouldn’t be allowed to decide who they do or don’t want to sleep with.

kittehserf
7 years ago

So that means anyone who wants to sleep with Mikey (okay, extremely unlikely, I know) should be able to, whether he wants it or not? But then he’d be forced to have sex with those dreadful old over-30 crones! Oh noes!

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

Like I said in the Dalrock thread, he’s so transparent you could use him as a window.

kittehserf
7 years ago

Presumably slut means “woman who’s had sex with anyone but me” – even if it’s just once. That seems the usual definition with these morons, who aren’t known for understanding what words mean.

… Hey, does that make me a slut too? Cool, I never thought I’d qualify.

vaiyt
7 years ago

Slutty in MRAese means “fucking men who aren’t me”.

dallasapple
dallasapple
7 years ago

Quote the wise and wonderful “Daddy” And he thinks this is a bad thing ?

He’s the kind of guy who asks girls “can I kiss you”(referring to David)

Whats the problem ? Oh I know David would lose the respect of women .Because women don’t want a guy like David .. .. they want the kind “Daddy” approves of ! Like this guy!

.I can’t have sex with your personality, and I can’t put my penis in your college degree, and I can’t shove my fist in your childhood dreams, so why are you sharing all this information with me?(that is the dudes signature on the same thread David is getting mocked for asking to kiss girls )

See ???See the difference ? Aren’t you like WHOA no comparison ! Daddy knows what women like !

How about this guy Daddy that daddy also would let his little girls date or set his sister up with because “David is the “type” of guy who asks “girls” can I kiss you .Well Daddy didn’t say that he would ,let his daughters or sisters date these guys, but he’s has NO harsh words for this dude.(who he hangs out with on Roosh) I guess he’s COOL and knows how women want to be treated! This one is REALLY sweet …I have a 17 year old niece I bet she would just MELT over the sheer alpha of this hot number.

“…so I gave her an STD, and she STILL wanted to bang me.”

OOOH…I hope he has some time slots open for a new girl ! I bet he’s booked though .A date for every night of the week for 6 months..WAHHH ..but Oh well Im sure its worth the wait for just ONE bang!

Better than having a man ask you if they can kiss you .. I mean really .We all know “girls” want guys that don’t give a shit about their personality ,their educational experience(or intellect it seems ) or her dreams ..”girls ” just want to be fucked ,fucked more, and FIST fucked…And the bestest of the best is a man that gives you herpes! That makes a girl feel so feminine ! And coming back for more!

Have fun making fun of David ya’ll..In the meantime we will warn our daughters ,sisters, mothers ,aunts any female we know ya’ll are lurking out there and we know because to internet…

Oh and “Daddy”? You should be proud to be a Dad. If only more dad’s could be like you .You keep really good company and are brimming with wisdom . I am so amazed I vomited .

dallasapple
dallasapple
7 years ago

Presumably slut means “woman who’s had sex with anyone but me” – even if it’s just once. That seems the usual definition with these morons, who aren’t known for understanding what words mean.

… Hey, does that make me a slut too? Cool, I never thought I’d qualify.

Well …because you are “loose” DUH! Sluts are loose .Having sex even one time “deflowers you ” Plus if you have sex one time and guys know about it ? They will lie and tell other guys so did they .

Even a really “hot girl” that has turned down sex with everyone eventually becomes a ‘doorknob” (everyone had a turn) because one will lie like the “one that got her” because he’s pissed she had the nerve to reject him too! Then one after the other they all claim they did.(each one believing the other even though they KNOW they are lying themselves )

I have a friend that happened to. By her senior year (17) She found out she had a “really bad reputation ” as the school slut when someone called her a doorknob and she inquired.She was a virgin never even had engaged in oral or anything .But like 15,20 guys had all claimed to have slept with her .

Go figure! You can still be a slut even if you have never even had sex. So once ? YEAH big time slut!

kittehserf
7 years ago

And people still say your teens are the best time of your life. ::smh::

I wouldn’t know if I’d had anything like that said about me as a teenager; I suspect not, because I was the plain girl with glasses who read (reading was abhorred by most of the morons in my year) and had no interest in boys. I wasn’t the sort they wanted to fuck, mercifully, so that brand of abuse didn’t really apply.

I look at people who do that sort of shit, then I look at decent ones, and especially my beloved, and think,gods, what oxygen thieves. Wastes of good carbon.

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

MRAs think anyone with ladybits that they’d like to get into is a slut. They rationalize it that way so they don’t have to treat the self-warming piece of sexual furniture as an actual human being:

I can’t have sex with your personality, and I can’t put my penis in your college degree, and I can’t shove my fist in your childhood dreams, so why are you sharing all this information with me?

quod erat demonstrandum.

Incidentally, if this shitbag ever came at me with a fist, for sexual purposes or otherwise, I’d leave his sorry ass fighting for its life in hospital…if he’s lucky. I didn’t take Wen-Do for nothing, and I don’t fuck around. Least of all with guys who don’t care if I have a personality.

kittehserf
7 years ago

I don’t have the skills or probably the strength to do that to him (or anyone else) but damn, I’d rather die trying. I would want any man trying that on me dead.

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

Well, the nice thing about Wen-Do is that you don’t have to be particularly strong or skillful…just capable of hitting the weak spots that are the same on all men, however big or strong they look. Windpipes, for example. Or temples. It was quite a revelation to learn that size and strength are no object if you know self-defence. Very equalizing, that.

Valerian
7 years ago

We’re back to “everyone on Manboobz is ferrets in a cat suit in a Dave suit”, huh.

titianblue
titianblue
7 years ago

I can’t have sex with your personality, and I can’t put my penis in your college degree, and I can’t shove my fist in your childhood dreams, so why are you sharing all this information with me?

That’s a direct quote from Show Me Your Genitals by comedian John Lajoie – as posted earlier in the thread by someone else )soory, no memery, today as to who). The irony, it burns.

but then none of the youtube commenters seemed to get that it was satire, either. sigh.

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

“He’s the kind of guy who asks girls “can I kiss you”(referring to David)”

You know, I’m tend to find such things as “I’d really like to kiss you” to go over somewhere between “me too” and GET A ROOM!

And once you get that room, some allusion and “may I?” seems just the right amount of anticipation.

Just sayin’

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

That’s a direct quote from Show Me Your Genitals by comedian John Lajoie – as posted earlier in the thread by someone else )soory, no memery, today as to who). The irony, it burns.

And so does the plagiarism.

These guys have not one original thought in their heads. No wonder their mindless dicks run away with them.

Catfish
Catfish
7 years ago

If my significant other was foolish enough to spit into my mouth, he’d be dead 😛
I dislike kissing and drooling or spitting anywhere is even worse.

Also, being the only one to do a specific things is not necessarily a good thing. You know, there might be a reason nobody else does it in the first place.

Falconer
7 years ago

@skye:

On kids shows, any Reading Rainbow fans here? Loved that show.

If I ever find myself going to a con where LeVar Burton is a guest, I think I will try to get him to autograph The Snowy Day rather than anything Trek-related.

@cassandrasays:

(BTW, Falconer, thanks for calling out his attempt to neg me. That was creepy, even if totally ineffective.)

You’re very welcome, but I don’t remember doing that … ?

Generally I’d say I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer of Boobzer commentariat. I’d be more likely to believe that I missed a negging than that I caught one.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

Wasn’t it you who pointed out how icky it was when he was all, oh you could be a “happy little thing”?

Side note – do not call short people “little”, it will make them want to kick your ass.

Falconer
7 years ago

Looks like that was chimisaur, although xie did respond to what I said about being in the same room as Neil Gaiman.

@chimisaur — I fanboy’d so hard I fell to pieces, and really I could barely see him, I was near the back of the balcony section. He was kind enough to get the Doctor to run time back and prevent it happening.

I drove three hours there and three hours back in one day, and went to work the next day. I figured, when would I get a chance like this again? But then it turned out it wasn’t his last tour, just his last signing tour. After I saw the photos he tweeted with his signing hand in a big Rubbermaid tote of ice at like 4 in the morning, I can’t blame him.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

In that case, thanks, chimisaur!

Falconer
7 years ago

Side note – do not call short people “little”, it will make them want to kick your ass.

I’ve known that one since at least 1984.

Incidentally, BAAAAAAAAAWWWWW.

chimisaur
chimisaur
7 years ago

No prob, Cassandra – us short folk need to stick together!

Falconer – in that case I’m pleased you fanpersoned as hard as I ever could; getting into the room at all sounds like an accomplishment, especially with that drive. 😀 (and I never saw that picture: poor Neil’s hand!)

Dudley
Dudley
7 years ago

So, anyone else get the feeling this totally Alpha male duder Fisto-was-his-name’o never actually had sex in his entire life?

Samantha
Samantha
6 years ago

I am blown away. Did not know where to put this, so I stuck it here. I just listened to the first 20 minutes of a 1hr 42mn long podcast by Dr.Herb Goldberg on a site by Drawk Kwast :
Drawk Kwast | The Alpha Male Advantage
Reality is a crutch for those lacking enthusiasm and imagination.

http://www.drawkkwast.com/2013/11/myth-male-privilege/

I had read bits of Dr. Goldbergs book “The Hazards of Being Male” many years ago and, while I did not agree with everything he said, I thought he had some valid points. However, after listening to all I could stomach of this new podcast, I felt ill.

Yes – some women can be, just like some men, dishonest and creepy. Some human beings can see other human beings as objects, to be used and then thrown away. But this…The mra’s have some powerful allies and leaders.

Check out the url above.

Samantha
Samantha
6 years ago

The most common orgasm a woman has is the Clitoral Orgasm. Most people know you can stimulate her to climax with your hands or tongue or when fucking you can angle your body so it gets rubbed by your rock hard abs.

Wait, what?

you can angle your body so it gets rubbed by your rock hard abs.

You can angle your body to rub her clit with your abs…..

…Anyhoo, if you want to make her feel especially feminine and special, you need to

do what a Lion does when it hears a wounded animal and go in for the kill.

And what that means is spitting. Lots of spitting. Possibly NONCONSENSUAL spitting.

Ladies love spitting!

Making her open her mouth and spitting in it, spitting on her face, baby smacking her face, her tits, really throwing down on her ass leaving big red handprints, making her tell you that’s your pussy, and on and on. That’s what bonds her to you, that’s the Greater Alpha Male Long Game.

Oh, man! I cannot stop laughing! (banging fist on desk…wiping eyes…choking)

(helpless…laughing…)

Where did he learn about women – Daffy Duck? No…he would know better…

(still banging desk…) Oh, my….

GM
GM
6 years ago

Aww, how cute. That Fisto asshole thinks he’s being a good troll.

http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-32201.html

What a nozzle. He and all of the pieces of shit at roosh v forums.

Emma
Emma
6 years ago

I’m a woman and I must say this are nice advices to men, at least in my case I love a man who treats me like that in bed, I love the smacking and the domination, I’m quite passive as you can notice, and I love love love the spitting in the mouth, very arousing. I had sex a couple of times with a man who treated me like that and I literally got a little wet by reading this while thinking about all the things he did and said to me. Anyway I guess it’s not for everybody but I personally can’t wait until I see him again! Best of luck for you guys

katz
6 years ago

First a stupid Robert, and now a stupid Emma? NO MORE STUPID SAME-NAME TROLLS! ALL HAIL THE ONE TRUE ROBERT AND EMMA!

contrapangloss
6 years ago

Seconding Katz. Real Emma and Robert are much, much cooler than psuedoemma and fauxbert.

kittehserf
6 years ago

Anyone else getting “this is another dude trying to sock” vibes from this fauxEmma troll?

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

It’s definitely possible it’s a bro sock. Even if it is a woman, so? One person’s preference isn’t everyone’s preference.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

If possibly-a-dude Emma likes being spat on, or thinks he would if he was a woman, that’s fine, but that doesn’t cancel out all the “ew gross” or “not for me, thanks” responses from other women.

kittehserf
6 years ago

The way fauxEmma is so specific about liking the exact things – the spitting in the mouth, particularly – that this post is about, and feels the need to necro the thread, is largely what’s registering on my “just another fuckwit dudebro” radar.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Probably our friend Fisto again. This is what passes for marketing among PUAs.

katz
6 years ago

Admittedly it does read a lot like what a guy who watches lots of porn would think women were into.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

There are definitely women who’re into that kind of thing, but this?

“literally got a little wet by reading this”

Yep, not really buying that a woman would feel the need to spew that particular kind of TMI all over some random person’s blog.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

Yeah, the whole ‘getting wet’ line feels off.

kittehserf
6 years ago

Yeah, exactly. My view wasn’t “ewww no woman would ever like this” but the likelihood of a woman writing that sort of TMI about a very specific act? Nope. Very much a guy-who’s-into-that-type-of-porn sense to it.

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
6 years ago

Unsolicited “gina tingles” updates aren’t a whole lot more appealing to me than unsolicited boner updates.

Ally S
6 years ago

@EmmaWithNotesFromHerLibido

Good for you. No one else here cares about your sex life, though.