Hey ladies! Better not read today’s post, as it’s only for ALPHA DUDES and would-be ALPHA DUDES. For while I was out looking for Man Boobz material I happened to run across some excellent and not-at-all ridiculous advice from a dude called FISTO on how ALPHA DUDES can use sex to totally control the ladies.
This advice is so totally ALPHA I feel I can only dispense it in small doses, so here are a few tips. Only after you have totally mastered these tips to totally master the ladies should you even consider reading the rest of the post I got them from. (Also, to be serious for a moment, it’s also fucked up and possibly triggery, so you may not even want to read my post.)
First of all, you need to know that
Women fall in love with you when you Make them feel special + Make them feel feminine …
When they love you, you have the power. …
You will become the man she desperately needs and is terrified of losing.
Ok, so how do you do this? Easy as pie!
Women release the hormone OXYTOCIN during sex, the more intimate and powerful the pleasure for her, the more you will own her ass.
And that means ORGASMS, baby!
The most common orgasm a woman has is the Clitoral Orgasm. Most people know you can stimulate her to climax with your hands or tongue or when fucking you can angle your body so it gets rubbed by your rock hard abs.
Wait, what?
you can angle your body so it gets rubbed by your rock hard abs.
You can angle your body to rub her clit with your abs.
Ok, I am just going to have to take his word for this. Granted, I don’t actually have rock-hard-abs, but I’m pretty sure that unless you are literally this dude
no part of your abs — not even your lower abs, down there between the six pack and the you-know-what — are going to be rocking her clit.
Anyhoo, if you want to make her feel especially feminine and special, you need to
do what a Lion does when it hears a wounded animal and go in for the kill.
And what that means is spitting. Lots of spitting. Possibly NONCONSENSUAL spitting.
Ladies love spitting!
Making her open her mouth and spitting in it, spitting on her face, baby smacking her face, her tits, really throwing down on her ass leaving big red handprints, making her tell you that’s your pussy, and on and on. That’s what bonds her to you, that’s the Greater Alpha Male Long Game.
Ok, you say, I’m totally down with this ALPHA stuff but do the ladies really like all of this spitting?
Well, that’s exactly what some dude asked in the comments to FISTO’s totally ALPHA post, and FISTO laid down some TRUTH on him:
You gotta amp up the intensity of the encounter, you have to escalate by kissing her and making her swallow big drips of saliva, then when you start fucking her tell her to open her mouth, she may say no. Tell her “DO IT”. She will whimper and then do it, and let it drip right in there. Then when you get going hard and the smacking ensues let her rip. It’s not for everyone, but you’ll likely be THE ONLY ONE that does it to her. And that’s leaving a mark.
Pressuring women into doing humiliating things after they say no … what could be more ALPHA than that?
… and I don’t really have any more jokes for today.
I can only hope that all of Fisto’s alleged sexual experience is made up, not just some of it.
I found Fisto and his Red Pill advice through the excellent Blue Pill subreddit. It was also posted in r/sex, where it was, thankfully, downvoted and ridiculed.
NOTE: Added a trigger warning of sorts.
I was born in 1968 . so……
Good night . Peaceful sleep with good dreams .
I think you guys need to try and get out of your shells a little bit. Have you ever tried to be submissive to a man?
Have you?
Because it’d really loosen you up. Then maybe you’d stop being so bitter and cranky. If you haven’t let a man punch you in the balls while spitting in your face, you’re probably ugly and bad at sex. Sheesh, get out of your shell. What’s the matter, don’t you want to have a gushing orgasm? Because it’s impossible for a man to have a gushing orgasm if he isn’t being humiliated.
Oh, you’ve had orgasms? Well, they weren’t the right kind. They were probably penis orgasms. That’s the weakest kind of male orgasm. Second weakest is sneezing, and the best kind is when you poop a little at the same time. If you haven’t had the best kind, scientifically speaking you haven’t had sex at all. No wonder your personality is so bad. Find a dominant man to slap you around a little so you can poop the bed, already.
I know all about what men enjoy sexually. I’m not a man and I’ve never spoken to one, but I’ve seen pictures… I mean, I’ve slept with eleven billion of them. And I usually picked them up and spun them over my head at the same time, a technique guaranteed to make a man hormonally addicted to me. So I’m basically an expert on the male body. Definitely more than some dumb man could be. They’re like children, don’t you know.
Come on, baby. Drink a cup of spit. Don’t you want to feel masculine and special?
dallasapple: I haven’t heard that song; it’s great! If I have kids I will be sure to play it for them 🙂
There was an old song from Sesame Street, I think, that I had on a tape when I was a kid but have never been able to find since. It went like this:
Something for everyone
That’s when a family’s fun
There are lots of surprises of different sizes and shapes in a family
Something for sharing there
With people caring there
It’s a door you can go in, a place you can grow in, it’s anything you need it to be
Maybe it’s your mother and your dad and you
Maybe you have one place or divide it in two
Maybe there’s a brother or a sis who shares
Maybe there’s a grandma with a room upstairs
Maybe there’s an aunt with all her children grown
Maybe there’s a stepdad with kids of his own
Maybe there’s a cousin, even three or four
Sleeping altogether on one great big floor
But there’s something for everyone
That’s when a family’s fun
There are lots of surprises of different sizes and shapes in a family
Something for sharing there
With people caring there
It’s a door you can go in, a place you can grow in, it’s anything you need it to be
Has anyone else heard that song?
BWAHHHHHHH!!! MY BACK ! Stop making me laugh !!!
But on a serious note your FORGOT about internal prostate orgasm! Some guys will say they are happy and don’t WANT internal anal probing for the best orgasm but that’s not what I READ!!!! So even if they SAY they don’t want an enema you say DO IT! as they “whimper” and do it … then you probe the anus and massage the prostate Then you make them say THAT’S YOUR PROSTATE! then they have a lot of orgasm OXYTOCIN ! From that point on they NEED you desperately and are terrified to think they can’t have you !
Then you OWN his ass ! YEAH!!!!
Oh my gosh Katz that is so sweet it made me cry .
I don’t remember it but I will find it for you .
I think I’m older than you …when I watched Sesame street it was more like
Ma nom min na ..
beep beep beep be dee deep
Ma nom in na
beep beep da deep
Ma no min na
beep beep, ba dee deep, ba dee deep, badee badiby deep!
Actually I just located it…can’t find an actual recording, though.
And yay for mahna mahna. Still the best Muppets song ever.
This conversation is way better than the Alpha Male conversation.
Katz here is a version …
Okay, wait, I think I finally understand the ab sex! I think he’s trying to say that while he’s penetrating a lady, one of them (depending on who’s on top) leans forward so her clit touches his abdomen. That could maybe work with the right partner, but there are much more effective, not to mention comfortable, ways to get clitoral stimulation during PiV sex.
I’m still not sure where the leg-folding comes in. I have theories, but they may require diagrams.
I loved Sesame Street so much that I didn’t stop watching it until I was 11.
Speaking of other great kids shows, I’ve always been a huge fan of Arthur. Who else here remembers that show?
Wow. I left for commute/dinner time and missed all the fun (and muffins D:)! You guys really didn’t mess around with that troll; I hope he comes to his senses and takes all of your pointers about consent to heart.
That is still twisting your mind ? Just put sharp right angle in the guys dick .OR make her clitoris on top of her pubic mound.
Or something just figure it out because I could have had 3 (or more) orgasms myself in the time trying to figure out what the fuck he’s talking about .Or why it would even be that great.
Like OH GOD now that i have had an “ab orgasm ” I cant live any other way !
dallasapple: I’m sorry, I hope I didn’t cause offense 🙁 I probably should have said, “I was a bratty teenager who thought she was too cool for school when Barney first started, so I never really got into it.” 🙂
Ally: When I was in nursing school, the local PBS played Arthur everyday around 4:00 pm, just about the time I got home. My brain was fried and all I wanted was cartoons (and we didn’t have cable at the time), so everyday after school, Arthur was my daily dose of sanity! And my husband used to make fun of me for watching a kid show, but I really enjoyed it and thought it was cute. DW was my favorite.
On another note, Jojo (hopefully I’m not skirting TMI here) I’m not possessed of man parts myself, so cannot personally endorse it, but I have male friends that claim some, ah, success with a hitatchi magic wand as well so maybe that would work out better than fleshlights for ya. Just a thought.
God, I hope I’m not being creepy now: please somebody let me know when I need to shut up so I can place the line for the filter!
DW easily had the best quotes in the show. “GUESS WHAT THE CIRCUS IS COMING IN ONLY 6 DAYS!”
I had a man spit on me in bed without permission once, but I forgave him. Of course, by man I mean cat. Nothing like waking up to cat happy drool up the nose. To be fair, he did totally own my ass. And usually slept on my chest.
Last nostalgic kids’ song from me, I promise.
Jumping in super late on this one. I couldn’t decide whether to laugh or just shake my head at the back and forth with Fisto. He’s so bassackward on here. He keeps saying that his original article implied consent. Well, here’s another gem from his own mouth to nip his argument here in the bud:
Emphasis on ability to control. Control means they are not consenting, or rather unable to resist. And that’s not the enjoyable form of irresistible, more the rapey I’m not able to resist. The fact he thinks this makes you a better person just makes me want to gag.
JoJo:
Was it possibly the wrong lube that split your toy? I know that using certain lubes can destroy certain toys.
“Nostalgic kid’s songs” got me thinking about, “Well, you know my name is Simon….”
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PvssomC2zVs
Not really a song, I know, but part of an opening sequence; but I remember it from way, way back and it still gets stuck in my head sometimes. Like an ancient earworm.
Ugh, guys like this and their arguments make me feel so uncomfortable telling a partner that I would like them to take control. Because I don’t want anything like what they’re describing, but I still don’t know enough of what I’d like to try to even tell them what I want. So it’s just frustrating. Plus it makes me sound like evidence that they’re right about all women liking submission.
I think the leg folding thing might just be placing a woman’s legs over the guy’s shoulders. I know if I’ve got a leg over my partners shoulder in missionary it changes the angle just right. Though you do need to be flexible for that.
Also, you guys are awesome in this thread
If someone can describe a sexual position and leave everyone reading unable to picture the position in question then maybe sex writing isn’t for them.
“Hey baby. I got rippling Auricularis muscles. Ahhhh yeah…..”
Sorry if I’m covering ground already walked on, but I’d like to point out this shit sounds like hokum. It’s cargo cult dating. The tone of the article reminds me of some Sovereign Citizen diatribes about how if they sign a certain document just right and say words X and Y at the court, they’ll never need to pay taxes ever and be able to do whatever they want.