As requested, an open thread. I’ll try to get these up more often in the future. This one will be overseen by Morrissey with a cat on his head.
No trolls, no arguments.
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Open Thread for Personal Stuff: January 2014 Pretty Cats Make Hats Edition
Thanks for all the internet hugs, guys. I feel way less anxious tonight.
My feelings are always the opposite of what Pecunium said as far as douchebag family members go – cut off contact, end of story, because for me blood is way thinner than water – but I am not advising you either way, Ally.
I’m with Kittenserf. Being related to someone is not a life sentence. If someone makes you miserable and it looks like they always will, I’m all for getting away and staying away from them.
I cut my loser father out of my life decades ago, and he was nowhere near as bad as Ally’s. I did have the advantage of him having left, so by the time I was Ally’s age he’d been gone a decade, so it was very easy to tell him exactly what I thought of him when he tried crawling back later.
Ally, you do what feels right for you. I’m really glad you’re feeling less anxious, and I’m sending you a whole bucket of hugs. And puppies, because I think katz has plenty of kitties.
Welp, shit just got real around here.
What’s happened, katz?
Ally’s dad is trying to use her phone to track where she is.
WHAT a surprise. Once an abusive, untrustworthy shit, always an abusive, untrustworthy shit.
He can’t do it, can he? It’s untraceable?
I’m thinking intervention orders against this guy. For a start.
Wow, I guess I didn’t have this thread followed after all. Ally, I’m so glad you’re safe, and that your dad responded not-jerkishly to your coming out.
How can he do that? track the phone?
You ARE far away, right?
Wow. How did you find out he was doing that?
Yeah, but now he’s trying to track her through her phone. Non-jerkish response = abuser’s fakery.
@kittehs
I’m guessing emilygoddess just didn’t see that part yet. :/
@katz
WOw. Hope she’s okay. And you too. Is there a way to stop him? Sorry I don’t have any advice 🙁
Ugh, I just tracked my phone right to my house with ADM. I hope Ally’s GPS is turned off.
I had to log in to my own gmail account to do it, though. I couldn’t track someone else’s phone unless I had their gmail account name and password.
kittehs: I don’t think it’s completely opposite, as more deliberate (there is a reason I’ve not spoken to my sister other than because we happened to be in the same building by happenstance in something close to 25 years: on the flip side my parents breakup caused me to not see my father for something like 15 years, and maintaining our relationship is hard. Not because we don’t get on, but because we don’t have the habit).
Ally: he’s being dickish, at which point finding a way to restrict his ability to find you is definitely the thing to do. Telling him to to back the fuck off is also a good idea. If you have a parallel way to maintain contact with your siblings, one that he can’t jam, I’d work on opening it up.
Because the signals you are getting are mixed, and that’s no good for you.
If you can afford it, the next step is to sever any connection your phone has to his plan.
Crap, posted to soon. I meant to say regardless of anything else, you want to sever any direct connection between your phone and his plan.
What is ADM?
Sorry, ADM=Android Device Manager. https://www.google.com/android/devicemanager
I think iphones have a similar app.
I turned my phone off so he won’t be able to track me, as far as I can tell. By the way, we’re currently going through a series of power outages for some reason, so if we don’t say anything for a while, you can blame the terrible transformer around here.
As if this evening hasn’t been dramatic enough, our power keeps going out. So if there are any suspiciously long absences from me and Ally, it’s because the power is out, not because we’ve all been murdered.
Hey Ally, you are so brave. I am really glad to hear that you are with Katz, even though obviously there’s a bunch of stuff going down. Take care.
The iOS version is find iPhone/iPad/iPod but 1) you can only do it from another apple product and 2) it has to be setup with both apple products using the same iCloud account.
And I revise my previous agreement with Pecunium in light of his attempt to track you, if he’s gonna be an ass, cut contact. At the least, pick up a tracfone, here everywhere from supermarkets to staples carries them — prepaid and untraceable. And don’t use any credit or debit cards that he can see the statements for since they usually include the location where the card was used.
Good luck!
FYI, he attempted to track me via the T-Mobile family plan software called FamilyWhere.
Oh god, I’m so fucking scared. 🙁 I’m just going to try to go to sleep now.