As requested, an open thread. I’ll try to get these up more often in the future. This one will be overseen by Morrissey with a cat on his head.
No trolls, no arguments.
Categories
Open Thread for Personal Stuff: January 2014 Pretty Cats Make Hats Edition
Ally, I’m sending you this hug.
I came out to my dad via email. I am now awaiting his response.
@Ally
Sending more internet hugs your way, if you want them.
Oh good, Ally, I’m glad you opted for an email. This way, you had a chance to get all the words in.
I would not blame you one bit if you turned off the phone and your email on your computer and went for a walk or went out for pizza or whatever you’d find comforting. (Of course, only you know what’s best – that’s just a suggestion.)
Here are a whole bunch of hugs from me,
Over here we’ve decided we want to get this comment printed in calligraphy and framed.
::preens::
Coming out via email was very smart.
Glad you made a clean get away, Ally!
So glad you did it by email and not phone.
He can’t trace you by ISP stuff, can he? ::is technologically iggerant::
Ally, you’re incredibly brave! Do whatever you need to do to feel safe. I think email was the right choice.
Ally, stay strong and as hard as it is right now you need to be selfish. You have a right to be happy, if your happiness isn’t what he had in mind for you he can go to hell. You are just charting new waters and it is sometimes easier to deal with the hell you know but you are worth it. Your family will deal with it eventually but your life is yours. You should not have to live your life to make someone else happy.
Remember that abusers are experts at making you think you are doing the wrong thing. You are an amazing person who has stayed so strong in the face of so many obstacles. Internet hugs and kitten snuggles if you are interested..
HOLY SHIT GUYS LOOK AT HIS RESPONSE:
I am in shock.
Extraordinary response, but is this the “be nice because they’ve escaped and need to be lured back” phase? That’s how I read it.
I should like to think he means it. It’s also true that he can mean it, and still have problems coping. If he means it, it’s also possible he wishes it weren’t so, and his previous actions were to try and keep a finger in the dike; hoping he was misreading the signs.
It’s nice to see he isn’t going off the rails.
In completely different different news; I will be attending Boskone (in Boston) next weekend (i.e. the weekend of the 14th).
Yeah, I’m trying to exercise caution. You two bring up good points. Nevertheless, this message made me so happy that I immediately broke into tears. I’m still all teary-eyed.
Be happy, Ally, and be happy a long way away from him. I’m probably worrying for no reason, because you know his ways all too well, but please don’t, don’t trust him!
Ally, I’m happy for you! That wasn’t the message I was expecting from him. But I think you’re right to be cautious, and to take your next steps on your own timetable. You’re the one who knows what’s right for you.
Yay for Ally S and Katz!
Stay safe, Ally. *hugs*
Ally: I’d also say that I think staying in touch, even if a bit distantly, is important. Breaks are hard enough, ruptures are terrible.
And restructuring after a rupture can be really hard.
So I’d make sure to take advantage of the tone to maintain contact with your sisters and your brother, as well as keeping some line of communication open; if he starts to be an ass, you can restrict that.
I’m, perhaps unsurprisingly, with Pecunium on this one.
And would you have time on your way to Boston to stop in here Pecunium? I can take you hiking or something. (That’d be a riot, me scrambling the red trail in those boots?)
And, as it’s topical: Abi, at Making Light, has decided this is the time to host a new “Dysfunctional Families” thread. Those are often a very good place to vent/get some feedback about problems one is having with family(present problems and issues from past problems).
Dysfunctional Families: Toolbox
No. We have a full car, and not only a guest of honor to deliver, but a wedding to attend after we get there, but before the con.
So you’re even busier than usual, good luck with the schedule crunch!
@Ally
I’m just repeating what everyone else said, glad his message was good-ish, but being cautious makes sense. Glad it made you happy though. Jedi hugs from me (for the xteenth time) if you want them.)