As requested, an open thread. I’ll try to get these up more often in the future. This one will be overseen by Morrissey with a cat on his head.
No trolls, no arguments.
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Open Thread for Personal Stuff: January 2014 Pretty Cats Make Hats Edition
Thanks guys. For extra stupid, I have to have been right about how meds psych from hell managed to decide I’m borderline. See, turns out they’re part of this nifty online medical records thing, so I can see things like when I was Dx’ed with things. She added that one the day we met, after having said she didn’t read my records cuz she likes to form her own opinion (this is a woman who thinks I’m lying about how Penn State does their repayment plans because Yale doesn’t do them like that…I went to Pitt)
Sam-I-Was — my 86 year old grandfather’s in a care home for dementia patients, no one knows how long it’ll be, he’s doing well currently. But there are relatives playing money grabs — people who suddenly want to care for him to save the money spent on his care (who are in no way qualified to care for him); his daughter suddenly wanted to return from Israel, move in with him, and inherent the house; etc.
You aren’t doing that. I’m the favorite grandkid, and if I get much when he dies, I’m putting it towards my student loans, I don’t think that pondering what you’ll do if // when you inherent money is the same as trying to ensure you get as much as you can. The later the ass, the former is, well…thinking about the inherence keeps me from thinking about how I’d be getting it, and I can’t, it hurts too much. It’s planning for the part you can control.
In other things, I assume no one minds me pointing my pharm student to y’all for relationship advice? Zir other partner is, uh, there are issues, and I can’t solve them.
Sam-I-Was, as everyone else is saying, no need to feel guilty; he wants you and your spouse to have the money. I think it’s probably your brain misdirecting some of the sorrow you feel at the thought of losing him.
Argenti, so sorry to hear about SSI.
And Ally, sorry you had to put up with that from your brother,
My dad just bought me a smartphone because I “got A grades in the first quarter [at UCSC].” I really appreciate the gift, but I lied to him about my grades – in truth, I got a D and an F. I feel so awful and selfish for lying like that, but I don’t know how he’d react if I told him the truth. A while ago he even started crying on the phone, saying “You know, I just lost my job, but the fact that you’re succeeding in school makes up for that. With every bad thing comes a good thing.” And he kept talking about how he’s proud of me. I wish I could have a normal, loving relationship with him.
People keep telling me they’ll tell you when they’re ready. He just keeps looking at me all alert with those big brown eyes. But he’s in a lot of pain and he’s not so hot about eating and he has a whole pharmocopia and he doesn’t want to take them, even though he needs to for the pain and a few other things.
He’s always been so sweet. And two weeks ago he was mostly fine. I’m so sad. I just want to do what’s best for him.
He’s not telling me anything, except, “Hey Human, fix this!”
Oh eli, all the hugs. It’s always horrible when it gets to wondering if it’s time, if the balance has tipped to them being in too much pain or distress. 🙁
Thanks Kittehserf,
OOH, he’s just realized there’s something yummy in the kitchen. And for a change it’s for him! I so wish he’d just collapse into apathy, indifference and whatever.
I’ve had a lovely 14 1/2 years. I hope he has too.
Sounds like he’s been much loved through those years, eli.
Lapped up chicken with carrots and green beans and potatoes…and then fell over into his water bowl for the umteenth time 🙁
What’s his illness, eli, if you don’t mind saying? 🙁
A couple of things concurrently, unfortunately. He has arthritis in his back. That’s the falling over and the pain. He also has something bad in his colon, might be cancer, we’re waiting on biopsy results, but that might be useless by the time we receive them.
The butt symptoms started first. Then his back started acting up. We went ahead and had a surgical consult, but opted for a colonoscopy.
When the vet referred us for the consult, he was just fine, but between appointments the back acted up and now he’s in so much pain. He couldn’t move his legs Tuesday morning and I took him to the vet and the idea was to put him on a cortico-steroid. But he needs a few days without anti-inflammatories first. And now he’s fighting all the meds (they are very bitter), he’s still having so much trouble with the back legs.
I have to pick him up to bring him up the back stairs and he yelps in pain. Even with the harness and the sling, he falls down on the way out and runs away if I try to pick him up to carry him out.
Now that I typed that wall of text. Maybe he’s worse than I think. I need to go take him to grandma and grandpa’s tomorrow so I can go to work. I told Mom earlier to say goodbye.
Maybe tomorrow, maybe Friday
Wow, I was catching up on comments on the other thread, but it looks like some threadsplosion happened. I’ve been lurking and drive by commenting since the blog was founded, what’s going on?
nm, I see it’s just jojo digging and digging?
Eli, I’m so sorry. Loosing a loved one no matter if they are 2 legged or 4 is horrible and I will be sending up thoughts in your direction. Hugs if you want them but know that the 4 legged know how much you care for them and even though I think I’m an atheist they will be waiting for you at the rainbow bridge. It’s been 4 yrs since I’ve lost my first baby with fur and I still tear up. I know that I will see my “Bum” again and that makes me smile. 🙂
Thank you all for your thoughts about Uncle. It amazes me how much of a difference it is between my family who squabbles over what they are deserved of (which I’m also dealing with) and spouses family who is more than willing to give up their share. I’m still processing different family drama and could really use more than 3 hours of sleep at a time but I’m dealing. Thankfully I also have a boss who is more then willing to let me deal with things as I need to.
We have decided that when Uncle passes we will be making a donation to Wounded Warriors in his name and if everything goes as planned we will be making a donation every year in his name. He is a very private person so when he was passionate about something it was quite obvious. Support to Veterans was always his passion and I want to continue it. He told me that as long as he had a voice he would advocate for Veterans and I refuse to let cancer take his voice from him. Cancer will not silence him, if all goes as planned we will be able to continue making donations in his name for the foreseeable future.
Youngest takes after spouse and is being hit hard by the news of Uncle. Every year my kids do a book about a theme and youngest’s theme this year was family that inspires you. He wrote his book about Uncle & we made sure he got a copy for Christmas. In the mail today we got the book back signed by Uncle to both kids with an inscription that said “You have always made me proud to be your Uncle” I’m a bit overwhelmed to say the least.
So for anyone that doesn’t have money to donate to a cause (as has been in my life) if able take a moment if you see a Veteran to thank them for their service. It doesn’t take money to make someone feel good. 🙂
It sounds like you’ve found some good solutions, Sam-I-Was? A way to alleviate your guilt? (I can get that, guilt over getting it, not thinking you deserve it, but the person wants you to have it)
Thanks also for the kind words about the Murph-man.
All the hugs for eli and Sam-I-Was?, if they’re wanted. Or whatever you find comfort in.
eli, sorry I didn’t answer sooner – commuting time.
That’s so awful for your boy. Sounds all too familiar, too. It’s five years today since my Katie crossed over. She was thirteen and went from diagnosis (x ray and biopsy) to passing in about two-three weeks. It was liver cancer for her, and heart failure at the end.
But like Sam-I-Was? said about knowing she’ll see her furbaby again, I know I will, because I already do, and that makes it a hell of a lot easier. She hung out with Mr K at work today. Good thing the pair of them don’t take up space, the place would have been really crowded.
This is a picture I did of the pair of them shortly after she crossed over.
I’d love as many hugs as we can get Cloudiah! Thanks
She looks like such a dear, Kittehserf.
Two messes in the kitchen this morning and refused the salmon and the egg that he gobbled yesterday. Nibbled a little at the chicken.
Thanks for the opportunity to get some of this out. I’m surrounded right now by people who are either as devastated as me or who aren’t pet people or who are Catholic and question the ethics of pet euthanasia.
Oh eli, I’m so sorry. I’ve been in the situation of second-guessing myself over whether it was time and sometimes it’s just not that easy to be certain. In the end I decided I’d rather not look back & think I left it too long. Plus I was lucky to have a straight-up vet who didn’t tiptoe around but told me all I needed to know.
You just do what you think is best at the time.
Witchy kitty sends hugs
http://instagram.com/p/jzLdJIl-7p/
@sam-I-was? I am sorry to hear about your uncle. As regards the money, look at it this way – your uncle must be getting pleasure from the thought that, after he is gone, he will have been able to do something good for you and your children. By accepting it, you are giving him one last gift – a gift of pleasure and of control at a time when those things are in pretty short supply for him.
Oh noes! Witchy Kitty is so very witchy, but will scare poor beagle to death. My neighbor had a cat named Napoleon who used to stalk him and pounce on him and he’s terribly scared of them. But it was an outdoor cat and we lived on a busy road and I don’t know what that guy was thinking. Napoleon wasn’t around for very long.
He’s been off his anti-inflammatory long enough for steroids. His biopsy came back no cancer. It’s inflammatory bowel disease with an unusual presentation.
Treatment for both the back pain and the bowel is steroids. Massive dose. Injection. We’re going in just a few minutes.
OMFG if he pulls through this…
@eli I promise witchy kitty is the biggest softy ever. Fingers crossed the injection does the trick.
My dad recently asked me to rent a book for him from the S&E library here at UCSC. I can’t rent it because I can’t renew my library card without enrolling in a course (and I haven’t enrolled in this quarter). So today might be the day I’m forced to tell my dad that I’m not taking any classes this quarter. I’ll have to tell him that to his face. I’m so scared I can’t think clearly right now.
Ally, can you deflect any questions about the book until you’ve figured out what you’re going to do? Just say it wasn’t on the shelf or something. I feel like stalling is okay, even if it doesn’t solve anything — just get yourself some breathing room.
Ally.
Let. Me. Come. Get. You.
Seriously I really don’t want you to have to tell your dad how your classes are really going. The way he treats you normally I can only imagine how it’s going to get when he’s actually mad at you about something big. I’m afraid you’re going to get hurt.
@cloudiah
I’ve tried deflecting his questions. I told him that it wasn’t the book he was looking for. But he apparently did his research and it’s the book he’s looking for. Maybe if I can find an alternative book I’ll avoid this issue, but I’m scared because he said it’s “urgent.” He wants the book because he’s working on a software that will involve the use of cartographic mathematical models to outline the structure of a body part.
This is the book he wants, in case anyone is wondering: Thematic cartography and geovisualization 3rd Ed. (If anyone can get the PDF for that book somehow and send it to me, that would be a huge help, but I don’t want to pressure anyone.)
I can just say I forgot to take the book, but if I do that then tomorrow he’ll probably want to go with me to the library and rent it. And when he finds out that I’m lying about my classes, he’ll probably do something to humiliate me like he usually does. By that I don’t mean making a rude joke (although his jokes are extremely mean-spirited). He’ll probably want to talk loudly in public about how I’m lazy and hateful towards “his [sic] father.”
Right now I’m trying to look for alternative books. He did say that he could use another good book if I found one, but I’m not sure if it’s possible. I’ll do what I can.