If you live in New York state, you may have seen the poster above plastered on a bus shelter; or you may have seen it posted somewhere on the internet. The message is pretty simple, and it’s sad that it has to be said: kids are pretty impressionable, so teach your sons to treat women with basic respect.
The purpose of the ad campaign, sponsored by the New York state Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence, is pretty clear as well: teaching boys respect for women lessens the chances that they will abuse women as adults.
Numerous studies have found that men with sexist attitudes towards women are more likely to try to control their wives or girlfriends with physical abuse. Indeed, one recent study even found that brief exposure to sexist jokes made men more inclined to brush off violence against women, at least amongst men with sexist attitudes to begin with.
Speaking of which, the sexist jokes over at A Voice for Men have unveiled a hilarious new “meme,” which just happens to be inspired by the “awaiting instructions” PSAs we’ve been discussing. And here it is:
The logic here is airtight: because some women get drunk and urinate in public, women don’t deserve respect.
I guess men never get drunk and urinate in public, or ever do anything vaguely embarrassing that gets caught on camera?
Is it really asking too much to respect people as people, foibles and all?
Yes, it’s the same old thing: straight white dudes get an automatic level of respect, but everyone else has to earn it somehow. Which is tricky, when being anyone not straight, white and male means you’ll never have that level of respect whatever you do, because you’re missing the essential elements.
There is a baseline respect for people as human beings that MRAs just don’t seem to get.
But then, how would they justify treating women less than human?
Cupisnique,
That made me cry a little . I don’t bawl a lot . But same with my mother .My father died when I was 4 and my mother remarried When I was 6) . (I had 2 siblings) She was 28 when my father died. My ‘step” father is who I call my father he was great still is .I love him he’s the best dad in he world., He loves my mother . . . My mother did have a lot of demons.She never got over my fathers death . I don’t hold it against her .
Both of them did things wrong and right . They are just people though just like us. Parents are not Gods. They are people . If (when) my mother dies my heart will mourn .I could be mad at her for things but I got over that a long time ago .(in my 30’s LOL) and my “step” dad is eccentric in so many ways and I love him for every inch of him .I can never have anythign but respect for both of them .
I’m a fortunate girl despite their imperfections ..Well actually their imperfections taught me things…..I only hope my children appreciate me the same way .
I know one thing ..I was loved. I hope I sent that message to my children too.
Yes, of course, what was I thinking. Thankfully the MRA are there to point out why EVERY woman should be treated like shit thanks to the behaviour of SOME woman. It’s almost like we should just judge every man based on the behaviour of some…And it’s not like both males & females have done similar things.
Wait a minute, my brain glitched!
Because, Auggzillary, when a white, cis, heterosexual man is respected it has an implication that he’s seen as better in some way than other men. When people say “repect X group that isn’t that,” it means “treat X group that isn’t that as if they are that.” Bigots don’t understand, and think it means “feel the same way you do about strangers as you do someone you greatly admire.”
Kitteh sort of finished my thought for me: “straight white dudes get an automatic level of respect.: That’s why they can’t fathom and misunderstand why everyone else has push for it.
auggz – but of course, because women peeing at all is dreadful enough, but peeing in public? Oh noes the end of civilisation!
Curious, isn’t it … MRAs so often spit the dummy over women needing to urinate or defecate or (shock horror) menstruate. Is it because the urethra and vagina are so close? (Not that half of them seem to realise they are different orifices.) Yet it’s perfectly fine that men urinate and ejaculate from the urethra, and how dare any woman be less than enthusiastic about putting the urinary (and possibly not that clean) bits into her mouth.
Actually it’s not curious at all, it’s bog-standard misogyny and double standards. I just felt like writing it out.
That comment turned put wrong and weird looking, let’s try again.
Kitteh sort of finished my thought for me: “straight white dudes get an automatic level of respect.” That’s why they can’t fathom and misunderstand why everyone else has to push for it.
Respect is a given for them, so again, when you say you “repect” a man like that it’s a little something extra, and earned. That’s not what group X means when they say “respect us.”
What is happening to me.
Your keyboard is being evil and colluding with WordPress … they’ll sic the blockquote monster onto you next.
@auggziliary – I saw a few comments along the same lines in Australia after gay marriage was repealed. A lot of crazy dickwads would write “Homosexuals should focus on the real problems in their community, like domestic violence or drug abuse, instead of wasting time on a trivial matter like marriage”
If domestic violence and drug abuse is a reason for an entire group of people to be not allowed to marry-when’s the moratorium on heterosexual marriage going to start?
But yeah, is public urination is a reason to condemn an entire gender, then males are the first on the block. I mean, I’ve never seen a woman urinate in public (Possibly because they try not to draw attention to it), but I’ve seen guys at all times of day, along highways highways, in national parks, in phone boxes-everywhere.
The other thing as well is these guys never say what Actions show you’re worthy of respect. So urination is a mark against them, but what gives them a plus? as has often been said here, having sex with men makes you a slut not worthy of respect, not having sex with a man makes you a prude not worthy of respect, talking to a guy makes you an uppity woman not worthy of respect, not talking to a guy makes you a snob not worthy of respect….seriously, what’s the magic combination of actions that will gain a woman respect from the MRA community?
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS>>>>>>>>PHHHHHT!
Scuse me!
LOL!
Stop peein’ on your keyboard, lana, you’ll upset the delicate chaps at AVfM and the blockquote monster!
BUT DON’T YOU DARE ACT FUNNY AROUND STRANGE MEN BECAUSE WE ARE NOT ALL RAPISTS.
::applauds baileyrenee::
Oh and by the way ???MY father ? Wouldn’t even PISS on MRA . A MAN who has the respect of everyone around him .Wont even piss on your little heads.
So awaiting instruction ? Men (RA’s) why don’t you learn something for a change?From other men since your fathers apparently failed you .
Oh yeah I FORGOT 99.99% of MRA’s HATE their own mothers! (and their grandmothers!)
::bows and is given bouquet::
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS……..SSSSSSSSSSSSSSS..SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS..SSS.SS….SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I’m sorry I had to go I couldn’t hold it!
The original New York Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence is not just about respecting women per se but about respecting a woman’s right not to be abused or a victim of violence, so what that piece of shit Paul Elam is really protesting is being teaching boys not to be abusive.
So the underlining message of his tagline while saying “Don’t tell us who to respect” really means is: “Don’t tell us who we can’t abuse or violate”, his issue is being told that treating women with violence is wrong.
That’s scary .
Me too. And from conservatives. But I repeat myself…
Anyhow. Maybe it’s because I’m a feminist socialist or something, but I tend to respect everyone equally until they individually do something to lose my respect. A minor annoyance like peeing drunkenly in public alone won’t do it. It has to convince me that I’m dealing with a truly stupid asswipe whose mere presence is a waste of one’s time. Drunken lapses of judgment aren’t that, unless the drunken lapser is so habitually drunk as to be unbearable. Sober lapses of judgment, the same.
I guess what I’m trying to say here is, Paul Fucking Elam wouldn’t lose my respect by whipping it out and drunkenly pissing in an alleyway. He lost it long ago, by whipping it out and organizing these stupid fucking hate campaigns all the time under the supposed rubric of “equal rights/compassion/whatever for men and boys”. Willy-waving sexism masquerading as “egalitarianism” won’t get him my respect, EVER. But my contempt? Oh hell yes. My respect is generally automatic, but my contempt is always earned.
And talk about earning it — get a load of his use of a photo of some college-aged (or younger) girls as “proof” that “females” are inherently undeserving of respect! It’s quite clear from his other drivel that he lusts after that very demographic, and that his wettest dream is probably to find one passed out in his bed, with no other man (or boy) in sight. I don’t expect him to have the respect, or the self-restraint, to keep his grubby grabbers off her. Her age, gender and incapacity all spell “open season” to misodges like him. What do you bet he actually whacks off to images like that?
“Red Flags”
BANG flash as lana’s keyboard explodes …
Robert R – precisely. Elam’s showing for the umptybillionth time that they really are the abusers’ lobby.