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Men’s Rights Redditors respond to imaginary plot to force men to pee sitting down with proposals to kill, pee on feminists

So Reddit’s Men’s Rightsers are in a tizzy over a bullshitty piece in the Daily Telegraph warning of an evil worldwide plot to force men to pee sitting down.

The evidence for the existence of such a plot is a bit on the skimpy side — the Telegraph writer leads off with a reference to a 2012  proposal from a County Council member in Sormland, Sweden that doesn’t seem to have gone anywhere legislatively but that’s been a favorite evil-feminist story on conservative websites ever since.

The very notion that some evil feminist might force them to sit while they spray has Men’s Rights Redditors in an unusually combative mood. Heck, it’s got some of the regulars thinking that it might well be time to start doing some good-old fashioned murdering. No, really.

Spacedatwork 6 points 10 hours ago (7|1)  Feminists are taking it too far now, I pee half the time with a boner and when I do pee sitting my dink dips in the water and it is nasty as fuck. This is the part where the MRA should pull off a campaign to assassinate feminist figures because talking, ranting and blogging is not enough until they take away our ability to naturally produce testosterone through medical procedures at birth.
Yep. In case you’ve been wondering, suggesting “a campaign to assassinate feminist figures” because some local council member in Sweden had a dumb idea will in fact win you upvotes on the Men’s Rights subreddit.

Strikerfm1, by contrast, seems almost moderate with his “tie feminists down and urinate on them” proposal.

strikerfm1 3 points 8 hours ago (5|2)  I so wish I could grab one of these feminists, tie her down,a pee all over her. Just to show her that I'm a fucking MAN and that I will never become the pussified, wimpy broken wrist faggot of a man they so desire. Fuck these lebsbian nazi cunts who want to destroy our manhood. Fuck them. Stand up. Be a man. Pee standing up.  Women think it's gross? it creates puddles? FUCK YOU WOMEN. I cleaned women's bathroom's for a living when I was younger, you fucking cunts leave blood on walls, shit all over walls because you won't sit on the bowl, and your pregnancy tests everywhere. Fuck you if you are gonna piss and moan about piss on the floor.
The World’s Greatest 21st Century Human Rights Movement, folks!

Thanks to the AgainstMensRights subreddit for pointing me to this horrible crap.

EDIT: The “let’s murder feminists” comment has been taken down by the subreddit mods, though the user hasn’t been banned for it; the “I want to tie a feminist down and pee on her” comment remains up, and still boasts upvotes.

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Kel D
11 years ago

I saw this post and thought of this graph.
Sorry it is in Danish. The orange plot is “Prevalence of smartphones” and the red plot is “Men that stand up to pee”
iOS AND ANDROID ARE PART OF A FEMINIST CONSPIRACY!

Bina
Bina
11 years ago

Funnily enough, here in Germany there is a tradition of ‘stehpinkel’ stickers – stickers that show men standing up to urinate with one of those big red ‘don’t do this!’ slashes through it: http://tinyurl.com/onv44l9

(a) I don’t know if German men actually do this, or if it just reminds them to hit the bowl properly and (b) the presence of the stickers has so far failed to emasculate them.

From what I can tell just at a glance, some of these are jokes, and others are gentle reminders to aim well or else take a seat. There’s even one saying no standing piddlers allowed after 10 p.m., which I’m guessing is when the beers really start to kick in (and aim deteriorates accordingly).

Anyhow, you’re right. These stickers are pure Emasculation Fail. There is no Bund der Deutschen Sitzpinkelopprimierten Männer.*

(*Union of German Men Oppressed by Sitting to Pee)

katz
11 years ago

Which would, curiously, have the acronym BDSM.

kittehserf
11 years ago

Oh geez, that sucks majorly, LBT! Like moving isn’t rotten enough anyway, without weather and illness conspiring to make everything really shit. 🙁

Throat lozenges never work for me, either. Plus they’re sickly and kill whatever appetite I had.

Bina
Bina
11 years ago

Anyone who knows anything about how chores are divvied up in the U.S. knows that:

1: Women do most of the household shopping.
2: They often have to wrangle the kids while they’re there.

So not only is the women’s room getting used 4-5 times as much in a day, but it’s also where kids with dirty diapers or digestive distress are taken, regardless of gender. (And this latter factor would even apply in restaurants and the like–anyplace where families go, the majority of the time, young children go with the woman, even if Dad is there, too. It’s only the last decade or two that changing stations were even typically installed in men’s rooms.)

True dat, and on that note: BRING BACK THE JOHNS OF JUSTICE!!!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Uwq88L9p6M&w=480&h=360]

Bina
Bina
11 years ago

Which would, curiously, have the acronym BDSM.

ZOMG…that’s true! Unintentionally funny, too.

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

Ugh, yeah. If any Boobzers have sore throat remedies, don’t be shy! I’ve tried my usual tricks of Ricola, honey, and salt water gargles, and none of them are doing shit anymore, so…

kittehserf
11 years ago

Damn, salt water gargle is the only one I know. 🙁

Breakfastman
Breakfastman
11 years ago

Sucking on hard candies or cough drops usually helps me when I get a sore throat, though that is a temporary fix…

katz
11 years ago

My signature throat remedy: A shot of straight vodka. Your throat won’t be able to feel a goddamn thing after that.

sparky
sparky
11 years ago

LBT: How long have you had the sore throat, if you don’t mind me asking?

Salt water gargles, tea with honey and Ricola are about all I can think of. Do you have a humidifier? A pan of boiling water on the stove would work too. Something to get some moisture into the air.

Bina
Bina
11 years ago

Dissolve two aspirin in half a glass of warm water and gargle with that. Repeat as needed, and if you’re still in pain, drink it. Just don’t exceed the recommended dosage on the bottle.

Another one, courtesy of my mom: Chop up an onion, mix with enough honey to cover, and take as needed. Good for coughs, too.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Bina: I love that show! Cracker the Corporate Crime Fighting Chicken needs to make a comeback too.

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

RE: katz

My signature throat remedy: A shot of straight vodka.

*laughs* Alas, my meds prohibit drinking. No vodka for me.

RE: sparky

How long have you had the sore throat, if you don’t mind me asking?

Well, I was getting warning twinges since Sunday, but it only got bad on Monday. So two, three days thus far. And no humidifier that I know of, but I can try the steam thing; one of my roommates suggested adding bath salts to the water to help.

RE: Bina

Dissolve two aspirin in half a glass of warm water and gargle with that. Repeat as needed, and if you’re still in pain, drink it. … Chop up an onion, mix with enough honey to cover, and take as needed. Good for coughs, too.

Ooh, I’ll keep that one in mind! I JUST took a couple aspirin straight just now, so will have to wait, but the onion one I’m going to try right now! It sounds like it’d taste AWFUL, but I’m in so much discomfort that I don’t care. (Seriously, I’m so tired all the time but can’t sleep for coughing and my damn throat. I’d drink drain cleaner if it helped.)

SredniVashtar
SredniVashtar
11 years ago

The onion is a favourite cure of my mother’s – the honey coating is a nice twist to make it more bearable never thought of that!

Also, chew (then spit out, don’t swallow) cloves. It works. Seriously. Similar properties to the onion and it actually gives you nice clovey breath instead of skanky-ass onion breath.

JustAbrowngirl
JustAbrowngirl
11 years ago

LBT, I personally use…Honey, onion and garlic syrup.
Combined a half-cup of honey and cup of water. Add in one whole chopped onion and one chopped clove of garlic. Add a cinnamon stick (to ease the taste) and allow to steep overnight at room temperature. Strain and use the liquid as a cough syrup. Keep in your refrigerator but if you can’t wait overnight for your syrup to steep, simmer the mixture for five to ten minutes until onion soften. Although you’ll lose some antimicrobial properties, you will get some relief. Hope it help and most warned you it has an acquired taste.

kittehserf
11 years ago

Are you sleeping sitting up, or propped up, LBT? I did that last time I had nasty bronchitis. Not comfortable but it does trigger the coughing less than lying flat.

Ally S
11 years ago

@LBT

Staying indoors as much as you can is a good idea – going between places of varying temperatures can make my sore throat worse, in my experience.

As for your sore throat, the thing that helps me the most is rest. Of course, if your sore throat is interfering with your sleep in some way, then it probably won’t help too much, but most of the time it should help. You may also want to minimize your dairy and sugar intake if possible.

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

HOLY JESUS FUCKBALLS MALARKY

That honey onion kicks like a motherfuckin HORSE

AAAAH MY INNARDS ARE ON FIRE AAAAH

I will say this though I am SOOOOO not thinking or feeling my throat right now godDAMN

kittehserf
11 years ago

So that’s how it works – distracting with extra pain!

Sort of like that saying about the way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

katz
11 years ago

If drinking is out, gargling vodka would probably do the trick, too. Kind of like extreme mouthwash.

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

RE: SredniVashtar

Also, chew (then spit out, don’t swallow) cloves.

I’ll see if my roommates have any; it seems fairly likely!

RE: JustaAbrowngirl

LBT, I personally use…Honey, onion and garlic syrup.

Ooh! I’m pretty sure we have some garlic lying around, so I’ll try and make this for later; Bina’s cure seems to be helping, but it’s always good to have a back-up.

RE: Kittehs

Are you sleeping sitting up, or propped up, LBT?

I am now. I tried sleeping flat last night and woke up unable to breathe; it was a frightening experience. I plan to sleep propped up again tonight.

RE: Ally

Staying indoors as much as you can is a good idea – going between places of varying temperatures can make my sore throat worse, in my experience.

Yeah, that’s actually how I fucked it up. I was feeling okay, so I went out into subzero weather to get some much-needed furniture. And then I woke up sicker. Then I thought I was feeling a little better, so I went to help a friend in the 20s weather. And then I woke up like this. It’s my own damn fault, but Christ, there’s so much shit I need to do and I just moved here!

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

All right! Bina’s cure has worked better than anything else so far, even if it does make my sinuses meltdown. Thanks, everyone! I knew I could count on Manboobz!

katz
11 years ago
Reply to  JustAbrowngirl

JustAbrowngirl: This guy.