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Men’s Rights Redditors respond to imaginary plot to force men to pee sitting down with proposals to kill, pee on feminists

So Reddit’s Men’s Rightsers are in a tizzy over a bullshitty piece in the Daily Telegraph warning of an evil worldwide plot to force men to pee sitting down.

The evidence for the existence of such a plot is a bit on the skimpy side — the Telegraph writer leads off with a reference to a 2012  proposal from a County Council member in Sormland, Sweden that doesn’t seem to have gone anywhere legislatively but that’s been a favorite evil-feminist story on conservative websites ever since.

The very notion that some evil feminist might force them to sit while they spray has Men’s Rights Redditors in an unusually combative mood. Heck, it’s got some of the regulars thinking that it might well be time to start doing some good-old fashioned murdering. No, really.

Spacedatwork 6 points 10 hours ago (7|1)  Feminists are taking it too far now, I pee half the time with a boner and when I do pee sitting my dink dips in the water and it is nasty as fuck. This is the part where the MRA should pull off a campaign to assassinate feminist figures because talking, ranting and blogging is not enough until they take away our ability to naturally produce testosterone through medical procedures at birth.
Yep. In case you’ve been wondering, suggesting “a campaign to assassinate feminist figures” because some local council member in Sweden had a dumb idea will in fact win you upvotes on the Men’s Rights subreddit.

Strikerfm1, by contrast, seems almost moderate with his “tie feminists down and urinate on them” proposal.

strikerfm1 3 points 8 hours ago (5|2)  I so wish I could grab one of these feminists, tie her down,a pee all over her. Just to show her that I'm a fucking MAN and that I will never become the pussified, wimpy broken wrist faggot of a man they so desire. Fuck these lebsbian nazi cunts who want to destroy our manhood. Fuck them. Stand up. Be a man. Pee standing up.  Women think it's gross? it creates puddles? FUCK YOU WOMEN. I cleaned women's bathroom's for a living when I was younger, you fucking cunts leave blood on walls, shit all over walls because you won't sit on the bowl, and your pregnancy tests everywhere. Fuck you if you are gonna piss and moan about piss on the floor.
The World’s Greatest 21st Century Human Rights Movement, folks!

Thanks to the AgainstMensRights subreddit for pointing me to this horrible crap.

EDIT: The “let’s murder feminists” comment has been taken down by the subreddit mods, though the user hasn’t been banned for it; the “I want to tie a feminist down and pee on her” comment remains up, and still boasts upvotes.

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titianblue
titianblue
10 years ago

I sail. On my boat (and every boat I’ve ever sailed on) skipper’s orders are that everyone pees sitting down. Because nobody wants pee sprayed all over the “head”. You stand up to pee, you’re off the boat.

druidwinter
10 years ago

Since when do Lesbians use pregnancy tests?? They dont have sex with men.

bodycrimes
10 years ago

Funnily enough, here in Germany there is a tradition of ‘stehpinkel’ stickers – stickers that show men standing up to urinate with one of those big red ‘don’t do this!’ slashes through it: http://tinyurl.com/onv44l9

(a) I don’t know if German men actually do this, or if it just reminds them to hit the bowl properly and (b) the presence of the stickers has so far failed to emasculate them.

titianblue
titianblue
10 years ago

Yeah, Strikerfm, nice story, bro.

titianblue
titianblue
10 years ago

And homophobia and Godwinning. Only missed the trifecta of bigotry by a whisker.

Elizabeth
Elizabeth
10 years ago

If so much of the way you perceive your identity revolves around the position you assume when taking a piss, I think you need to reevaluate your life choices…

Robert Ramirez
10 years ago

Is this a joke? There is no way this real, maybe it’s a joke.

seraph4377
10 years ago

1) I call bullshit on spacedatwork’s “dink” dipping in the water if he pees sitting down. I have a “dink” too, buddy, though I choose not to call my penis by a name that makes it sound so small, and unless the toilet is actually overflowing (and maybe not even then), I literally can’t figure out how I would get my “dink” in the water without actually sitting in the bowl…which would probably get my ass wet first. Give it up, man. No one believes that you’re John Holmes.

2) So…that’s it? The only settings for activism in MRA-land are “complain on the internet” and “kill people”? If that lack of imagination is widespread, it at least partly explains their uselessness.

cupisnique
10 years ago

This is the first time I’ve ever heard that anyone, anywhere was trying to get men to pee sitting down.

Hell, you can even buy an item so you can pee standing up as a woman: http://www.go-girl.com/ But, that’s probably misandry too.

I work as an archaeologist and have to pee outside a lot, I’m probably more envious of their ability to pee discretely with less hassle than anything. I’m sure the MRAs would just tell me I want to emasculate them because I can’t or something. Yet, they’re the ones that want to pee on women to prove their manhood. I don’t think they could demonstrate their need to dehumanize and subjugate women for their own self-worth any more clearly.

titianblue
titianblue
10 years ago

Should we be concerned about spacedatwork’s health? Is having a boner half the the time when you pee possibly indicative of a physical problem?

Also, how does he shit hygienically if, when he sits, his dink dips in the water?

Euww. Trying to get that picture out of my mind.

seraph4377
10 years ago

Titianblue – depends on his age. In our teens, guys have a boner half the time no matter what we’re doing.

Ax
Ax
10 years ago

Amazingly, this isn’t the only toilet-related Men’s Rights non-issue of the day. Currently sitting at the #2 spot on the /r/mensrights with 519 net upvotes is this post complaining about a restaurant that had the audacity to have a unisex bathroom in place of a dedicated men’s room. What misandry indeed!

http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1uo2cl/this_restaurant_had_2_bathrooms_one_was_unisex/

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
10 years ago

I love the implication that their ability to stand while peeing is an integral part of their manhood, that sitting to pee has been contaminated by femininity and the mere suggestion that they do it is threatening.

I so wish I could [hurt and humiliate a woman]. Just to show her that I’m a fucking MAN

How original and totally not misogynistic.

I know this is anecdata, but I’ve worked in places with gendered bathrooms, and even factoring in some women’s extremely annoying hovering habit, you could still count on the ladies’ room to be cleaner. At the very least, there was less likely to be pee in front of the bowl*. For those of us who sit to pee, right in front of the bowl is where our skirts and trousers are going to be resting when we pull them down and…yeah.

*seriously, do those people piss on their own floors at home, or do they just not try as hard to aim when they’re out?

Wetherby
Wetherby
10 years ago

I call bullshit on spacedatwork’s “dink” dipping in the water if he pees sitting down. I have a “dink” too, buddy, though I choose not to call my penis by a name that makes it sound so small, and unless the toilet is actually overflowing (and maybe not even then), I literally can’t figure out how I would get my “dink” in the water without actually sitting in the bowl…which would probably get my ass wet first. Give it up, man. No one believes that you’re John Holmes.

Seconded. This has never, ever, ever happened to me, and I honestly can’t imagine the mechanics of how it would – unless I was trying to do it deliberately just to prove a particularly juvenile point.

cupisnique
10 years ago

@emilygoddess

According to the redditors women shit, piss, and bleed all over the washrooms and even use our menstrual blood to paint on the walls. Which is of course misandry because society says women are the cleaner more hygienic sex.

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

<Just to show her I'm a fucking MAN

Sounds like someone’s not real secure in his masculinity in the first place, if he feels the need to hurt a woman to show how “manly” he is.

And supposedly WE have the fucked-up ideas about masculinity?

Cliff Pervocracy (@pervocracy)

Wouldn’t the appropriate level of protest be to just… continue peeing standing up?

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

Blockquote monster is feeling peckish today.

Wetherby
Wetherby
10 years ago

Out of curiosity, I’ve just examined the logistics of so-called “dink dunking”, and while I’m obviously aware that toilet bowls vary greatly in design around the world, I’d estimate that my “dink” would need to be at least nine inches longer (not long, longer) for there to be even the tiniest risk of this humiliating thing happening.

Which is why the possibility has never occured to me before.

freemage
freemage
10 years ago

My mind, it boggles.

I’ll admit I’ve heard some horror-stories from friends who worked in jobs that required cleaning public restrooms, and some of them did, indeed, identify the women’s room as the worse of the two.

And every one of those was in a retail location–either a Target/Wal-mart/Sears type, or a grocery store.

Anyone who knows anything about how chores are divvied up in the U.S. knows that:

1: Women do most of the household shopping.
2: They often have to wrangle the kids while they’re there.

So not only is the women’s room getting used 4-5 times as much in a day, but it’s also where kids with dirty diapers or digestive distress are taken, regardless of gender. (And this latter factor would even apply in restaurants and the like–anyplace where families go, the majority of the time, young children go with the woman, even if Dad is there, too. It’s only the last decade or two that changing stations were even typically installed in men’s rooms.)

It’d be a miracle if the women’s rooms in such locations were NOT the dirtier of the two under those conditions.

jennydevildoll
10 years ago

@cuspinique
According to the redditors women shit, piss, and bleed all over the washrooms and even use our menstrual blood to paint on the walls.

Well, that’s just silly of them to think. Clearly we save it for our gallery shows:
http://hyperallergic.com/74107/calm-down-menstual-blood-art-isnt-a-big-deal/

sparky
sparky
10 years ago

Sooo. OK. Standing up to pee is a cause worth murdering other human beings over. OK. No, Spacedatwork, your problem isn’t your “dink” touching toilet water. Your problem is that you are a vile, malicious asshole.

And what the hell? “…until they take away our ability to naturally produce testosterone through medical procedures at birth.” Wut?

seraph4377
10 years ago

Robert Ramirez – You new here? If so, we need to get you a welcome package. We’ve seen much more ridiculous nonsense than this. Wait ’til you see the backstory behind all our references to SCENTED FUCKING CANDLES and hard, misandric chairs.

Cliff Pervocracy (@pervocracy)

This whole “dink dunking” conversation reminds me of a joke…

Two guys are pissing off a bridge.
“Water’s cold,” says the first one.
“Yep,” says the second. “Deep, too.”

Xen
Xen
10 years ago

There are actually some cultures in which men pee sitting or kneeling. They think it’s too animalistic to bee standing up. The things you learn in anthropology class.

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