Here are some of the things Paul Elam of A Voice for Mens has said in the past that the $80,000 plus in donations his site aims to take in every year go to:
Dedicated servers, image royalties, legal fees, internet radio premiums, various kinds of computer and media hardware — and now traveling to different locations, like Toronto, in order to do what has been in the plans all along.
Here are a few things Elam has not said the donations have been going to:
Buying him sandwiches. Paying for the down payment on a condo. Paying his cable bill. Paying for DVD rentals. Buying tasteful framed art for the walls and tchotchkes for the end tables. Buying him suits for his big important media interviews.
Well, now he’s fessed up — sort of.
After a bit of a kerfuffle about financial transparency in his site’s comments section, Elam has finally admitted what a lot of us have been assuming but that he’s been loath to admit: that he’s been living off of his supporters’ donations — and a generous girlfriend. As he explained in a post yesterday:
Donations are used to meet my personal living expenses (with the help of a supportive partner), especially as I have not yet figured out a way to do this 14-16 hours a day and also hold a full time job.
Was that so hard to admit? Apparently it was, so hard, in fact, that he chose to admit it in the quietly evasive passive voice, so as to symbolically avoid responsibility for taking his donors’ money even as he acknowledged that this was what he was doing.
Now, is there anything wrong with making a living, or a part of a living, off of a “donate button” on a web page? Of course not. I have a donate button, and I run regular fundraisers; all of the money I collect — which I greatly appreciate, though it is only a small fraction of what AVFM takes in — goes directly to me, as I’ve always made clear.
Is it wrong for activists to make a living off of their activism? No. Plenty do, though few live lavishly. Most serious activist organizations depend both on paid staff and volunteers.
But I think there are two problems with what Elam has done.
The first is that he’s basically been fundraising under false pretenses, claiming that the money was going for various other costs and never — until now — admitting that a chunk of the money was going directly to him. He still won’t say what percentage of the money goes to him — and his silence on this point suggests to me that it is probably a large one.
His unwillingness to offer any real transparency beyond admitting that some of the money goes to him seems a tad, well, ironic in light of his site’s bad-mouthing of former AVFM-er Kristina Hansen for her alleged lack of transparency with regard to a much smaller sum of donated money.
The second big problem is the hypocrisy. Elam has been essentially urging his followers to adopt vows of poverty in order to devote more money to AVFM — and thus to him. He’s bragged, on several occasions, about getting $100 donations taken from a donor’s unemployment checks.
And in one notorious post, he literally offered a big “fuck you” to men who came to AVFM seeking help, telling them explicitly to “go fucking bother someone else with your problems” — if they hadn’t already offered help to AVFM by hitting the donate button.
I am tired of seeing a handful of men and women fight for a cause that should include millions. I am tired of seeing a comparative handful of men and women cough up the lion’s share of financial assistance when most, even some who come here every day to read and cheer on FTSU, won’t cough up five fucking dollars to help us out; who are just fine as long as none of the burden, even a trivial part of it, is on them.
After a bit more ranting, he offered this advice:
If you want things to change, then stock up on Ramen, get cozy in your studio apartment and join us in the fight to fix this shit. Don’t ask us to help you, but rather give your life the only meaning it may have left, as someone ready and willing to turn your meager existence into helping others who have been similarly screwed over.
Emphasis mine in both quotes.
Apparently the main “other” that doners have been helping has been Elam himself.
And as far as I can tell Elam hasn’t exactly taken his own vow of poverty. The photo at the top of the post is a partial screenshot from a recent AVFM video, which evidently shows Elam at home. To me, that doesn’t look much like the bleak studio apartment of a man living a “meager existence” on Ramen noodles.
Still, if there are men out there who want to send in hundreds of dollars from their unemployment checks to support Paul Elam in the lifestyle to which he has become accustomed, that is their right, I suppose. They should just be aware that’s what they’re doing when they donate to AVFM.
NOTE: I should make clear that I don’t know what exactly Elam has spent his donors’ money on. It is possible that he has not spent any of his donors’ money on sandwiches, condos, cable bills, DVDs, art, tchotchkes, or suits. Those were just guesses. As for me, I do spend some of the money I get from donors on sandwiches, rent, cable bills, Netflix, and of course cat food.
THAT RABBIT IS ADORABLE
TartanbunnehofdeathSQUEEEEEEEE!
Myoo, that’s great! Now I kind of want Pierre to approach with a question.
It can be done. And it has been far too long since I drew a new Pierre.
That hamster was cute enough to relieve the pain of the laughter it caused. Many thinks!
Those are great stories, Cassandra
Ha I win: The last two days there has been school closings in my area because of the cold. Record lows in Wisconsin -20 and 30 actual temps, -40 to 50 with windchill. My patio door is basically an ice sculpture. 😛
I support the causes of the MHRM and also think Elam is doing an adequate job at running AVfM. There are some things i want him to do better though, and like millions of other men and women, I will not donate money to him or to AVfM until he changes his mind, attitude, and ego… and does it. We want more change than just a website that despite its helpful appearance, does nothing in the way of organizing protests, marches, legislation, studies, and creating additional funds to make things change toward true equality—which most women fear.
It is ridiculous that he says to men that (paraphrased) “there should be millions of men fighting feminism when only a handful are doing it”, because his official stance is to let the media, the mainstream, the fix, come to the MHRM. Change hasn’t happened because he, AVfM and ‘they” aren’t trying to reach out and convince more people to learn and fight.
About the girlfriend part… Sure there are many women who admire men who are smart enough, brave enough, and man enough to put something besides the happiness of women as priority. Men really have been disposable throughout history. They still are shackled to their conscripted mandates too whereas women have had nearly EVERY burden and sacrifice lifted from them but still think hardly anything positive has changed for them. I personally know many women who “get it” and are on the side of men’s rights and are proud of it, defend it, and will fight for it. So, it does not surprise me that he has a girlfriend. The thing I wonder about is I hope he isn’t letting her shame him for not having much time for romance, intimacy, and “their time”, because if she really loves him, and understands his fight, his stuff HAS to have priority with very little exceptions. His girlfriend should put herself and “their time” second to the cause he is fighting for, which is the same thing she would want if she were a feminists fighting for things that seem hopeless. In fact, he would be a heel if he didn’t drop his life to help and support her if she were a feminists under similar deeply entrenched, nearly impossible circumstances as the plight of the MHRM.
About the gay, homophobic, racist comments above that try to portray him as a bad person. Bull shit–with rancid urine as a topping. Those who claim he or any other administrative person at AVfM are homophobes, racist, women haters, etc, HAVEN’T BEEN TO HIS SITE AND ACTUALLY READ IT, ENOUGH OF IT, INCLUDING THE COMMENTS. IF THEY HAD, THEY WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO SAY THE LIES THEY ARE SAYING HERE WITHOUT BEING ADMITTED LIARS. AVfM and Paul Elam are/is not women haters, homophobes, racists or any other manipulative label said so shallowly. The proof is in the pudding.
??
Is this a “cool story,
brosis” ?Marci definitely beats me, but like Our Host, the wife and I have been dealing with ice on the windows. It’s especially common, I think, in apartments with steam heat, which are still quite common in the Chicago area. (It’s almost guaranteed if the listing for the apartment uses the word ‘vintage’.)
@Bina
It’s just an edit of a picture of Lucy I found, but sure, steal away 🙂
I think we’ve moved on from the Shakesville topic, but from reading a bit of the linked posts it is becoming increasingly my opinion that Melissa McEwan is not having fun running SV and maybe she should stop if it’s making her miserable.
*Reads Ty Henderson’s wall of text*
*Pops popcorn*
http://manboobz.com/category/racism/
http://manboobz.com/category/homophobia/
http://manboobz.com/category/evil-women/
And I thought you were trying to defend the MRM from the accusation that it’s misogynistic.
Chocolate, or tapioca?
http://manboobz.com/2013/10/18/paul-elam-of-a-voice-for-men-in-his-own-words/
Lets are some frothy rage-hate.
http://manboobz.com/2013/04/08/an-unsolicited-update-from-paul-elams-pnis/
http://manboobz.com/2012/09/09/paul-elam-on-stupid-lying-whores-rebecca-watson-and-how-he-never-claims-to-be-a-victim-even-though-he-totally-is-one/
Here’s some homophobia:
http://manboobz.com/2012/12/19/homophobic-asshole-throws-other-homophobic-asshole-out-of-mens-rights-movement-for-homophobic-assholery/
That’s just a couple minutes search on this site (which directly quotes and links back to Paul Elam’s actual words). There’s more, but I can only wade through so much shit before I need a break.
I think it was a thank you for the cute puppy rescue story (which is part of a list of other happy animal stories).
Re: Ty Henderson (lots of others have quoted the fun bits, so I’m going to skip them)
The pudding seems to be chalk full of hatred. Big, nasty chunks of it. Or is this another sad attempt at ‘post’ racism/sexism/etc? Because it’s not working.
ROFL
You don’t get it, do you, child? David goes to AVfM and reads it. Then he quotes it. You know, verbatim. Maybe you don’t know what that means.
Nobody needs to make stuff up about Elam. He’s all the things you’re frothing about. He has said he would vote not guilty in a rape trial even when he knew the (male) defendant was guilty.
Squeal all you like, sonny. It won’t get you anywhere.
The proof is in the raging, odious, bigoted pudding; it sure is.
“They still are shackled to their conscripted mandates too”
They are still chained to their coerced commands also
They are still fastened to their pressured injunctions as well
They remain stapled to their forced decrees additionally
They do be tied to thar press-ganged windlass, Jim Lad, ahr it be the black spot, it be
They are yet pasted to their bossed stuff withal
“Shackled to a conscripted mandate” sounds like a really kinky escort agency.
Ooooo, Mangry Wall-O-Text with ALL FUCKING CAPS SCREAMING. Let me see, do I take that shit seriously?
>scratches ass, thinks<
Nah.
@ kitteserf – The Defiant Ones Dating Bureau
@ Bina – YOUR LYING LIES MAKE YOU AN ADMITTED LYING LIAR! Or something.
Righto. Now, who’s gonna find it by eating that toxic motherfucker?