Here are some of the things Paul Elam of A Voice for Mens has said in the past that the $80,000 plus in donations his site aims to take in every year go to:
Dedicated servers, image royalties, legal fees, internet radio premiums, various kinds of computer and media hardware — and now traveling to different locations, like Toronto, in order to do what has been in the plans all along.
Here are a few things Elam has not said the donations have been going to:
Buying him sandwiches. Paying for the down payment on a condo. Paying his cable bill. Paying for DVD rentals. Buying tasteful framed art for the walls and tchotchkes for the end tables. Buying him suits for his big important media interviews.
Well, now he’s fessed up — sort of.
After a bit of a kerfuffle about financial transparency in his site’s comments section, Elam has finally admitted what a lot of us have been assuming but that he’s been loath to admit: that he’s been living off of his supporters’ donations — and a generous girlfriend. As he explained in a post yesterday:
Donations are used to meet my personal living expenses (with the help of a supportive partner), especially as I have not yet figured out a way to do this 14-16 hours a day and also hold a full time job.
Was that so hard to admit? Apparently it was, so hard, in fact, that he chose to admit it in the quietly evasive passive voice, so as to symbolically avoid responsibility for taking his donors’ money even as he acknowledged that this was what he was doing.
Now, is there anything wrong with making a living, or a part of a living, off of a “donate button” on a web page? Of course not. I have a donate button, and I run regular fundraisers; all of the money I collect — which I greatly appreciate, though it is only a small fraction of what AVFM takes in — goes directly to me, as I’ve always made clear.
Is it wrong for activists to make a living off of their activism? No. Plenty do, though few live lavishly. Most serious activist organizations depend both on paid staff and volunteers.
But I think there are two problems with what Elam has done.
The first is that he’s basically been fundraising under false pretenses, claiming that the money was going for various other costs and never — until now — admitting that a chunk of the money was going directly to him. He still won’t say what percentage of the money goes to him — and his silence on this point suggests to me that it is probably a large one.
His unwillingness to offer any real transparency beyond admitting that some of the money goes to him seems a tad, well, ironic in light of his site’s bad-mouthing of former AVFM-er Kristina Hansen for her alleged lack of transparency with regard to a much smaller sum of donated money.
The second big problem is the hypocrisy. Elam has been essentially urging his followers to adopt vows of poverty in order to devote more money to AVFM — and thus to him. He’s bragged, on several occasions, about getting $100 donations taken from a donor’s unemployment checks.
And in one notorious post, he literally offered a big “fuck you” to men who came to AVFM seeking help, telling them explicitly to “go fucking bother someone else with your problems” — if they hadn’t already offered help to AVFM by hitting the donate button.
I am tired of seeing a handful of men and women fight for a cause that should include millions. I am tired of seeing a comparative handful of men and women cough up the lion’s share of financial assistance when most, even some who come here every day to read and cheer on FTSU, won’t cough up five fucking dollars to help us out; who are just fine as long as none of the burden, even a trivial part of it, is on them.
After a bit more ranting, he offered this advice:
If you want things to change, then stock up on Ramen, get cozy in your studio apartment and join us in the fight to fix this shit. Don’t ask us to help you, but rather give your life the only meaning it may have left, as someone ready and willing to turn your meager existence into helping others who have been similarly screwed over.
Emphasis mine in both quotes.
Apparently the main “other” that doners have been helping has been Elam himself.
And as far as I can tell Elam hasn’t exactly taken his own vow of poverty. The photo at the top of the post is a partial screenshot from a recent AVFM video, which evidently shows Elam at home. To me, that doesn’t look much like the bleak studio apartment of a man living a “meager existence” on Ramen noodles.
Still, if there are men out there who want to send in hundreds of dollars from their unemployment checks to support Paul Elam in the lifestyle to which he has become accustomed, that is their right, I suppose. They should just be aware that’s what they’re doing when they donate to AVFM.
NOTE: I should make clear that I don’t know what exactly Elam has spent his donors’ money on. It is possible that he has not spent any of his donors’ money on sandwiches, condos, cable bills, DVDs, art, tchotchkes, or suits. Those were just guesses. As for me, I do spend some of the money I get from donors on sandwiches, rent, cable bills, Netflix, and of course cat food.
Fear not pbw, Stacy’s no feminist, she just a fellow con artist helping Paul delude AVFM donors into thinking they’re funding a social movement, when they’re really just giving money to a guy (and his girlfriend) who runs a website they like.
Until Elem puts on his big boy pants and turn AVFM into a non-profit, he’s a poseur and a joke.
I think that it’s very progressive of this Elam fellow to move beyond the traditionally defined gender roles of man as breadwinner and woman as homemaker. I imagine that if she is working, and he stays at home, he would help her out in some ways during that time – perhaps by doing the housework. Or making her some sandwiches.
Somehow I don’t think the commenters at avfm would agree with me, though.
Ah, I was seriously missing this place.
And fact is, cash is fungible. So if he takes any money for any personal living expense (as was defined by someone up above in legal terms), and is still buying, say, a Netflix subscription, then he’s using that money to help pay for his movies.
Ok, I’ll concede that he’s a parasite on AVfM followers. And a fraud, but definitely a hypocrite. Pretty much the definition of one actually — moans about women spermjacking and shit, but takes money from his followers (ok, maybe it is cult-like) for himself, while not working seemingly at all. Cuz unless he’s spending hours upon hours a day writing for the site, it does not take 12+ hours a day to run a site.
Relatedly, Borg folks, theme of the month is disability.
Grifter is an excellent word to describe Elam.
‘Donations are used to meet my personal living expenses (with the help of a supportive partner)’
So appart from the donations Paul Elam is living off one of those evil liberated working women? Just brilliant.
I think he’s a grifting them. I don’t think he believes the drivel he spouts about the money going to the movement. I suspect he berates them because he wants the money.
Now that I know he’s using his partner as an intemediary, I suspect tax-shenannigans even more.
@serrana
I’m a stay-at-home housewife and mother, but I get what their saying. It’s not that people who live off of the salary someone else brings in are all parasites, people like you and I do more work then most realize. But someone like him, exploiting people and mooching off of a partner without contributing anything other then rage-boner internet rants are fucking parasites and should be dealt with as such.
On an vaguely related note, I should make some bread tomorrow. Teh Husband has a PT test Wednesday, so that should be sufficiently mean enough.
@crmsnfrn
Weird coincidence, but my husband also has a PT test on Wednesday! Spooooky…
AVFM fundraising for FTSU
Blockquote Monster fucked my shit up.
Blockquote Monster is a more effective activist than Elam, and cheaper to keep too.
Paulie says:
“Everyone has the work of AVFM right out there in front of them to see 24/7, and they can base their decision to donate on whether they think our efforts are worth it.”
So, that’d be a big fat donation of SFA dollars and diddly-squat cents, then. Cheque, or cash?
crmsnfrn,
I have been a stay at home mom for 21 years. I assure you that I understand that is not a parasitic condition . For me its been sacrificing more for myself than if I had continued to work and not had children and volunteered. Just the money I could have earned (doing the same thing) keeping my grandchild so my son and DIL could “save money” for the past four years is about $60,000 .That THEY saved and I did not earn .
Let me guess…kept (wo)man Paul(ina) Elam’s benefactress is employed as a scientist, engineer, doctor, architect, designer — some profession that is properly the domain of menfolk what with their superior intellect and all. Oh internets!
Oh, and this gem from one of the comments:
“I second Paul’s decision to keep the books closed. We really do not ask for much and we are, by far in my opinion, one of the most effective Men’s Rights organizations ever assembled.”
Yeah, I LOL’d.
Wait. I thought Elam said he was done with women and would never again succumb to some she devil’s wily machinations.
I know the MRA party line is generally something about how in the paleolithic mists of their version of time, teh menz hunted mammoth and the ladies lolled about in the cave, but given the mammoth is now extinct, and I’m pretty sure almost none of these guys are actual hunters, what IS the MRA party line on women working outside “the home”? Do they think women are supposed to be dependent on their menfolk nowadays, or am I confusing them with xtian fundamentalists? I genuinely have never seen anything to indicate the MRA stance on this subject. I’ve only seen a lot of bitching about women being gold diggers or too independent. Or having the vote. Or ageing. Or being fat. But nothing about working for a living or supporting a partner herself.
Huh. After hearing all those MRAs who screeched & whined about Anita Sarkeesian being a fraud who ‘lined her pockets’ (they love that phrase for some reason) with donated money, this is interesting.
Elam’s new motto – I scammed the internet for you?
WAIT! wait wait ..wait a minute. Did they define “effective “..Depending on what they are aiming for and what they mean by “effective” he could be damn right!
Money makes crappy lining, too leaky.
Robert Ramirez said:
” In my parts of the woods we call people like that…parasites.”
Robert, I know you mean well but could you please not talk about people who don’t do paid work as parasites? As someone who is currently recovering from a life-threatening illness and is anticipating it’s return I am no position to work and I find being called a parasite both upsetting and unfair.
@SpleenyBaggage
That quote is Wunderbar and made of pure gold.
Paul Elem’s scam website is probably the most effective MRA “organization”, but I’m guessing the OP doesn’t quite get why that isn’t exactly a point of pride.
Wow. Shades of Shakesville and the “donate your last $5” guilt trip.
And that “fuck you” post and the comments? So much “me” and “my” and “where were you when I had this problem?”, so much proof that they’re more about anger and revenge than compassion or justice. The repeated allusions to rape were a nice bonus, too :-/