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Men in Dresses: A Voice for Men stands up for trans women by declaring them to be deluded men

Men in dresses: How A Voice for Men sees trans women
Men in dresses: How A Voice for Men chose to promote its post about trans women

Men’s Rights hate site A Voice for Men has not exactly shown much of an interest in trans* issues in the past. Indeed, the only time I can recall founder Paul Elam ever even mentioning trans* people was in the context of a vicious attack on a Men’s Studies expert who happens to be a trans woman; he suggested she was a mentally ill man-hater whose “so hated the sex they were born with that it sparked a life long academic quest to deconstruct it into something that did not disgust them.”

So it’s a little surprising to see a post on AVFM now with the seemingly dispassionate, slightly turgid, title “Male/female discrepancies in transsexualism.” The post starts out as dry as its title, but it soon becomes clear that it is “scientific” in style only. It’s not an attempt to understand trans women or trans people in general; it’s an attempt to use the existence of trans women as a helpful prop in an old Men’s Rights argument.

After declaring that “the inherent,prenatal explanations for transsexualism are highly questionable” — without actually examining any of these explanations beyond mentioning one study —  Jesse Folsom offers his own crackpot theory to explain why, in his words, there are more “male-to-female [than] female-to-male transsexuals.”

In short, he asserts, our society is so biased against boys and men that a lot of boys and men have decided that they want to become girls and women. And naturally, feminists are largely to blame.

[W]hy would a young boy associate more with the stereotypes assigned to girls? Well, one good reason would be because he wants to, because he regards his stereotypes of women as superior. For instance, in a feminist household, expressions of masculinity may be viewed with derision, or, when there is a father present, as a source of shame.

Also, in case you hadn’t realized this, most mothers are women as well:

Even without such associations, however, a child often just spends more time with his or her mother.

Oh, and so are teachers. It’s like there’s some sort of plot!

While it does not occur until after a large proportion of gender ideas are formed, school also exposes children, primarily, to female role models. Not to mention the fact that many behaviors typical of boys are frowned upon and even drugged out of them in modern school environments.

As a result, young boys have no real role models in society.

And where do boys find themselves today? Today, women can be anything they want. Women can be action heroes, happy homemakers, corporate executives, and powerful politicians.

Obviously there are no examples of men in any of these roles for boys to look up to.

There are two categories of fashion, fashion for everyone and fashion for women only. Women are the ones seen as beautiful and glamorous. Women are kind, gentle, empathetic, and allowed to freely express emotion. With the traditional strengths of men now seen as irrelevant or even negative, why wouldn’t a boy rather be a girl? Is this not as good an explanation as any for the discrepancies between MtF and FtM transsexualism?

Well, actually, no. But Folsom continues, insinuating that this evil feministy brainwashing does terrible damage to all the poor little boys who have decided that they want to be girls:

It is simply implausible that a child that associates with the opposite sex label has any real understanding of what that means, but unfortunately, such associations often stick. Further, this gender dysphoria is extremely harmful, frequently leading to severe depression and high suicide and poverty rates for transsexuals. As one might expect, researchers believe that male-to-female transsexuals are the hardest-hit by these problems.

Aside from all the general bullshittery of Folsom’s not-very-original theory here, it’s telling that he never refers to trans women as, well, women, preferring instead to refer to them either as male-to-female transsexuals — or to actually refer to them as male. Like Elam, clearly doesn’t see trans women as real women, but rather as men suffering from some sort of delusion, driven by internalized misandry.

And that’s really the only way that AVFM can have any sympathy for trans women at all: if they’re seen as male victims of feminism, and not as women at all.

Regular Man Boobz commenter Ally S ventured into the Men’s Rights subreddit to offer a rather more nuanced view of the subject. Some highlights:

This article is almost exactly like countless articles written by trans-exclusionary radical feminists. The only real difference is that the arguments are being used to further support MRA talking points rather than TERF talking points. …

When I was little, I didn’t identify as a girl because I associated more with femininity and stereotypes about girls. It was the other way around: I came to associate more with femininity and stereotypes about girls because I identified as a girl. Just as cis girls associate with stereotypes related to their own gender. …

I guarantee that virtually any trans woman will say that adherence to stereotypes and misandry have nothing to do with identifying as female. That’s because there’s a difference between gender identity and gender expression. Personally, I am a trans woman, but my clothing style is basically agender and I engage in what are often considered masculine activities, such as programming. And when I was a child, I actually saw feminine traits as inferior, not superior – yet I still identified as a girl. I have many friends who have had similar experiences. …

Lastly, deliberately misgendering trans women (you know, what the author does in every other sentence) is completely unacceptable, even if one is speaking about young children. We are not and never will be men.

You can see Ally’s entire comment here, as well as a number of detailed followups. Amazingly, they actually got upvotes in the Men’s Rights subreddit, where Folsom’s article received a generally hostile reception. Apparently some of AVFM’s bullshit is so bullshitty that even Men’s Rights Redditors can recognize it as such.

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kittehserf
10 years ago

I love it when Mr HK lets me glam rock him up with eyeliner. He used to have really long metal hair down to his butt, the pictures are amazing.

You trying to make me swoon here? 😉

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

Sorry, Kitteh! He had to cut it because he was a little too laid back bass player about the maintenance and had a giant dread forming underneath.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Eeek!

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

Now he keeps it buzzed, it’s no maintenance and better in the TX heat.

kittehserf
10 years ago

There’s another reason I wouldn’t want to live in a hot (well, permanently hot) climate – I don’t fancy cutting my hair short at all.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
10 years ago

I had long hair in Saudi! Granted, I’m unusually heat tolerant, it’s cold I have issues with.

Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

1) four unicorns, two horses and carrots provided by Shaun. Timer reset to 8pm blog time.

2) “FUCK the “niche ” issue of our soldiers wandering around the streets with missing arms and legs or with serious mental issues from serving our country”

FTR, plenty are neither missing limbs nor suffering serious mental issues — other disabilities, mental issues in general (not just serious ones, though where’s that line anyways?), and the usual causes of homelessness — unemployment, housing issues, drug/alcohol addiction, etc.

3) mango tart, duh.

Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

4) I threaten to chop off my waist length hair every August, haven’t done it so far.

Bina
Bina
10 years ago

I’m totally envious of anyone whose hair reaches their waist. I have trouble getting mine to grow past my shoulders. Curly Girl Problems…

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
10 years ago

@ Bina, is it a breakage issue? If so might be worth trying either argan oil or coconut oil.

Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

Bina — oh it has its issues, waking up with my hair twisted around my arms is fun, as it sitting on it. And let’s not mention all the things I’ve dipped it into, including fish tanks, frequently.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Do you have yours cut all one length, Bina, or layered? Mine never would grow much past the shoulders when it was all one.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
10 years ago

Also I’ve never tried it but massaging coconut oil into the scalp is supposed to encourage hair growth.

kittehserf
10 years ago

I’d love to see my hairdresser’s face if I tried that and it worked. Mine grows a centimetre a month as it is. 🙂

Bina
Bina
10 years ago

My hair’s healthy, doesn’t break unless it’s been chemically straightened (which I only did once and never again). It’s just a “doesn’t grow past a certain length” thing. I tried not cutting it, but all I got was scraggly ends, so now I trim it to just past shoulder length (when wet), with only as much layering of the ends as will get my curls to not do any weird lady-from-Dilbert shit. I’ve been wearing it with bangs for the past year, too.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Not cutting it never worked for me, either, for the same reason. It didn’t break – it’s very strong – but I’m much better off getting it layered. It allows it to curl instead of straightening under its own weight, and it looks thicker.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
10 years ago

Anyone else ever tried the Deva cut? I’m a convert, it works even better than layering for bringing out curl. They cut it dry and cut each curl individually.

kittehserf
10 years ago

I hadn’t heard of it till now, but it looks lovely. Doubt my hairdresser (or any others around here) would know how to do it, though!

Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

I’d say mine is absurdly fine, but pecunium’s got me beat, it’s absolutely absurd that hair can be as fine as his (blasted redhead! *jealous*) — but anyways, mine’s all super straight and flyaway and hairspray? Why should it stay?! Only product I ever found that would make it stay in place was silly expensive and only worked when my hair was like 3″ long. Seeing how it’s going to do its own thing either way, I gave up and grew it out, stick it in a hair tie and go, braid if windy cuz dear gods is it annoying to untangle 2’+ of fine knotted hair!

So yeah, having boring straight brownish-reddish hair (lol, most of the reddish being dye)…you curlly folks and pecunium’s damned red hair have my envy. (My fucking father is a redhead, I was strawberry blonde as a kid, but noooo it had to darken to mostly brown!)

…I feel like the Doctor now — “still not ginger!”

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
10 years ago

Mine was dark red/auburn too as a kid, but it’s just a couple of shades away from black now. I’ve been wanting to experiment with dying it back to my childhood color, but red fades so fast and my hair is much too fine to dye as often as needed to keep reds bright.

Bina
Bina
10 years ago

Mine’s naturally auburn, going slowly white now. I’m trying to dye the white a reddish blond, but it doesn’t stay. My humble theory is that the hair dye companies are conspiring against us.

Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

Nah, mine stays. If I flip the ends up over my “roots” (more like trees at this point!) the difference is obvious. But it’s close enough to not really have the telltale root line, so idk if that’s part of it or what.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Mine was what my sister always called mouse brown, though it hasn’t been seen sans dye for decades now. It’s be mostly grey now, going by the regrowth. My hairdresser has to hit it with extra violet every so often, because I’ve just enough blonde/red genetics in the family for any reddish-based browns to go brassy-orange and horrible the minute the sun hits them. Red dyes are fugitive anyway, but the genetics don’t help! I’m going to ask her about changing the colour again when I see her next week. I can’t go back to full black, way too harsh on my skin these days, but a cooler/more purply colour than the dark brown I have now might work.

Alice Sanguinaria
10 years ago

I have dark brown hair. I’ve never dyed it, and probably never will, because I’d probably need to bleach it first before any color might show up.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
10 years ago

Actually with the newer dyes you don’t need to bleach dark hair unless you want to take it a lot lighter. My hair is a 2 or 3 on most color scales (1 being black – my bestie here is Japanese and her hair isn’t much darker than mine), and I can take it to medium brown or dark reddish brown/violet brown without bleach.

Of course now it’s turning not grey, but bright silvery white. Which will probably be pretty eventually, but a. I’m not ready for that and b. it’s not all that color yet, and wow does bright silver pop against almost black hair.

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