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Men in Dresses: A Voice for Men stands up for trans women by declaring them to be deluded men

Men in dresses: How A Voice for Men sees trans women
Men in dresses: How A Voice for Men chose to promote its post about trans women

Men’s Rights hate site A Voice for Men has not exactly shown much of an interest in trans* issues in the past. Indeed, the only time I can recall founder Paul Elam ever even mentioning trans* people was in the context of a vicious attack on a Men’s Studies expert who happens to be a trans woman; he suggested she was a mentally ill man-hater whose “so hated the sex they were born with that it sparked a life long academic quest to deconstruct it into something that did not disgust them.”

So it’s a little surprising to see a post on AVFM now with the seemingly dispassionate, slightly turgid, title “Male/female discrepancies in transsexualism.” The post starts out as dry as its title, but it soon becomes clear that it is “scientific” in style only. It’s not an attempt to understand trans women or trans people in general; it’s an attempt to use the existence of trans women as a helpful prop in an old Men’s Rights argument.

After declaring that “the inherent,prenatal explanations for transsexualism are highly questionable” — without actually examining any of these explanations beyond mentioning one study —  Jesse Folsom offers his own crackpot theory to explain why, in his words, there are more “male-to-female [than] female-to-male transsexuals.”

In short, he asserts, our society is so biased against boys and men that a lot of boys and men have decided that they want to become girls and women. And naturally, feminists are largely to blame.

[W]hy would a young boy associate more with the stereotypes assigned to girls? Well, one good reason would be because he wants to, because he regards his stereotypes of women as superior. For instance, in a feminist household, expressions of masculinity may be viewed with derision, or, when there is a father present, as a source of shame.

Also, in case you hadn’t realized this, most mothers are women as well:

Even without such associations, however, a child often just spends more time with his or her mother.

Oh, and so are teachers. It’s like there’s some sort of plot!

While it does not occur until after a large proportion of gender ideas are formed, school also exposes children, primarily, to female role models. Not to mention the fact that many behaviors typical of boys are frowned upon and even drugged out of them in modern school environments.

As a result, young boys have no real role models in society.

And where do boys find themselves today? Today, women can be anything they want. Women can be action heroes, happy homemakers, corporate executives, and powerful politicians.

Obviously there are no examples of men in any of these roles for boys to look up to.

There are two categories of fashion, fashion for everyone and fashion for women only. Women are the ones seen as beautiful and glamorous. Women are kind, gentle, empathetic, and allowed to freely express emotion. With the traditional strengths of men now seen as irrelevant or even negative, why wouldn’t a boy rather be a girl? Is this not as good an explanation as any for the discrepancies between MtF and FtM transsexualism?

Well, actually, no. But Folsom continues, insinuating that this evil feministy brainwashing does terrible damage to all the poor little boys who have decided that they want to be girls:

It is simply implausible that a child that associates with the opposite sex label has any real understanding of what that means, but unfortunately, such associations often stick. Further, this gender dysphoria is extremely harmful, frequently leading to severe depression and high suicide and poverty rates for transsexuals. As one might expect, researchers believe that male-to-female transsexuals are the hardest-hit by these problems.

Aside from all the general bullshittery of Folsom’s not-very-original theory here, it’s telling that he never refers to trans women as, well, women, preferring instead to refer to them either as male-to-female transsexuals — or to actually refer to them as male. Like Elam, clearly doesn’t see trans women as real women, but rather as men suffering from some sort of delusion, driven by internalized misandry.

And that’s really the only way that AVFM can have any sympathy for trans women at all: if they’re seen as male victims of feminism, and not as women at all.

Regular Man Boobz commenter Ally S ventured into the Men’s Rights subreddit to offer a rather more nuanced view of the subject. Some highlights:

This article is almost exactly like countless articles written by trans-exclusionary radical feminists. The only real difference is that the arguments are being used to further support MRA talking points rather than TERF talking points. …

When I was little, I didn’t identify as a girl because I associated more with femininity and stereotypes about girls. It was the other way around: I came to associate more with femininity and stereotypes about girls because I identified as a girl. Just as cis girls associate with stereotypes related to their own gender. …

I guarantee that virtually any trans woman will say that adherence to stereotypes and misandry have nothing to do with identifying as female. That’s because there’s a difference between gender identity and gender expression. Personally, I am a trans woman, but my clothing style is basically agender and I engage in what are often considered masculine activities, such as programming. And when I was a child, I actually saw feminine traits as inferior, not superior – yet I still identified as a girl. I have many friends who have had similar experiences. …

Lastly, deliberately misgendering trans women (you know, what the author does in every other sentence) is completely unacceptable, even if one is speaking about young children. We are not and never will be men.

You can see Ally’s entire comment here, as well as a number of detailed followups. Amazingly, they actually got upvotes in the Men’s Rights subreddit, where Folsom’s article received a generally hostile reception. Apparently some of AVFM’s bullshit is so bullshitty that even Men’s Rights Redditors can recognize it as such.

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Ally S
10 years ago

It’s funny how he didn’t even reply to my question about whether he would willingly misgender a trans man.

Alice Sanguinaria
10 years ago

kittehs – D: I’m sorry kittehs. *lots of hugs in hug barrel*

CriticalDragon1177 (@CriticalDragon1)

David Futrelle,

This is kind of like defending gay people by claiming that gay people are just deluded straight people. This is such an epic fail.

HeatherN
10 years ago

@LBT:

Oh my goodness, that type-o was pretty brilliant. I’d say it was deliberate, but it really wasn’t.

kittehserf
10 years ago

::replenishes hug barrel::

Thanks everyone!

Funny brain bleach, courtesy of Big Scary Kodi:

http://youtu.be/dyRhG3Uw9AI

Ally S
10 years ago

I’m so sorry, kitteh. I hope he gets better soon. :<

Brooked
Brooked
10 years ago

@Ally S

Props and sympathies for facing an endless array of questions from people who seem to believe anyone who identifies as a trans woman is obligated to “debate” sex/gender endlessly and/or answer all personal questions to educate the curious.
TMF’s patronizing, science-loving, wise seeker of truth persona is such insufferable horseshit, I’m amazed you were able to hang in there for that long.

Most hair-raising moment in that thread:
If Oneiorosgrip is for real, there is an actual person who reads both AVFM and Gendertrender to learn about the world. That’s a fucking magical level of wrongness.

Most amusing post:

jpflathead 2 points 1 day ago*
AVFM should be striving to publish high quality, easily read, easily shared, hard to misconstrue, hard to dismiss articles that shine a positive light on men’s rights.

Yup, AVFM should get on that right away.*teehee*

Tina S
Tina S
10 years ago

I can’t even imagine what it feels like to believe that one has been born in the wrong body. Where’s the empathy here? Aren’t the MRA’s the ones who are upset because they weren’t born with wombs?

*It’s not a belief, it’s a “know”. Bad word choice on my part.

Why would men (and women) go through what must be hell in hormones, therapy and surgeries to change their sex as much as possible to what they know is to be true if this were as simple as clothing and makeup. Or traits. Or stereotypes. Or whatever.

No, I didn’t read this whole post. I just can’t right now. It seems so full of ignorance…not your post, David, but the subject…

It’s going to be one of those days. OT: I had a …thought? epiphany? this morning. My father – in – law just passed away a week ago this last Thursday. Yesterday, when I was painting, I felt that he was with me, proud of me. I realized this morning that my father-in-law loved me more and was proud of me where my own father wasn’t. I knew he loved me. My own father? Not so much. And, of course, the water-works.

MRA’s believe that men are disposable. Who really is the one that thinks that because it certainly isn’t me.

Diana Adams
Diana Adams
10 years ago

Will Elam and co try to ‘cure’ transwomen of their internalised misandry?

Gen
Gen
10 years ago

Another comment to add to the chorus of “Thank you Ally S”. That was a fantastic comment and I’m so happy that at least the r/mr doods see it for the great information it is.

There are few things that make me so angry as the rampant gender policing and prescriptions that run rife in preschools and primary schools. My little girl asked me earlier “Are girls allowed to whistle?” Because some teacher at school said that girls mustn’t whistle.

WTF?

Sometimes I just want to bang my head against the wall.

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

Lana:

OH MY GOD!!! I just watched the Cobowys lose !! Hello! Not “brain bleach” Just Oh no we lost………………………………LOL!! next time!

As a Seahawks fan living in Texas, I find the Cowboys to be some of the best comedy out there.

On topic: it just shows that MRAs can’t give a fuck about any group that’s not them without using them as a beatstick against women.

Unimaginative
Unimaginative
10 years ago

Because some teacher at school said that girls mustn’t whistle.

There’s a saying from like a hundred years ago: Whistling girls and crowing hens, both will come to some bad ends.

Pretty sure I read that in a Little House book.

Ally S
10 years ago

@Brooked

TMF’s patronizing, science-loving, wise seeker of truth persona is such insufferable horseshit, I’m amazed you were able to hang in there for that long.

His persona did piss me off. But that’s not what made me want to stop arguing with him. Though it wasn’t entirely his fault (because he doesn’t know shit about trans issues), his words were becoming triggering for me for some reason.

Ally S
10 years ago

If Oneiorosgrip is for real, there is an actual person who reads both AVFM and Gendertrender to learn about the world. That’s a fucking magical level of wrongness.

Thanks for the heads up. I really, really don’t want to argue with someone who reads shit from Gendertrender. Arguing with anyone who has TERF-like views is highly distressing for obvious reasons.

[Content note: dysphoria, transmisogyny]

On a related note: I once came across a self-loathing, TERF trans woman (I know, right?) on Tumblr arguing that trans women have to get bottom surgery or else they’re “still male.” It was a harrowing experience especially because it was a trans woman making that argument.

Unimaginative
Unimaginative
10 years ago

@Ally, yeah, the old “if it’s possibly true for me, then it’s DEFINITELY true for everybody” argument. Bleh.

Ally S
10 years ago

Not only was that argument dismissive and self-centered, but it felt like betrayal. It’s like, even though I didn’t engage with her, she was telling me “You should hate yourself just as much as I do, and you don’t deserve to have a say in who you are.” It hurt so much that I would rather argue with an anti-trans MRA than someone like her.

kittehserf
10 years ago

It’s going to be one of those days. OT: I had a …thought? epiphany? this morning. My father – in – law just passed away a week ago this last Thursday. Yesterday, when I was painting, I felt that he was with me, proud of me. I realized this morning that my father-in-law loved me more and was proud of me where my own father wasn’t. I knew he loved me. My own father? Not so much. And, of course, the water-works.

Tina, my condolences. 🙁

Ally S
10 years ago

@Tina S

I’m so sorry. Hugs if wanted. By the way, if you ever want to vent about more OT stuff, you can also do so here: http://manboobz.com/2013/11/02/open-thread-for-personal-stuff-november-rain-edition/

emilygoddess
10 years ago

This is kind of like defending gay people by claiming that gay people are just deluded straight people. This is such an epic fail.

This is actually why I hate the “born this way” argument. It leads to well-meaning but still homophobic straight people saying things like “it’s not like they want to be gay! They can’t help it!” and just generally acting like they pity queer people.

Ally, you’re kind of a badass. Trying to reason with MRAs takes more patience than I’ll ever have.

Unimaginative
Unimaginative
10 years ago

Ally, you’re kind of a badass.

+1

gelar
gelar
10 years ago

Agreed; Ally, I was literally cheering you on by the end of this post. Quietly, and alone in a room, but still- go Ally!

Shaun DarthBatman Day
10 years ago

Ally, sending hugs if you want them. Also huge amounts of imaginary chocolate.

Ally S
10 years ago

I would like to share this r/amr comment that sums up this AVFM article beautifully:

So this exact inverse of the TERF argument against trans men?

Ally S
10 years ago

Hey everyone! I have some more anti-trans r/MensRights “activism” to share.

Here’s an excerpt of this enlightening and socially conscious exchange:

Focusing on trans men would be like narrowing focus to disabled war vets instead of confronting massive gender gap in higher education, or fathers who can’t see their children, or rape/domestic violence against men not being taken seriously.

katz
10 years ago

Because obviously an organization that sought justice for disabled war vets would be completely unreasonable, I guess?