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Men in Dresses: A Voice for Men stands up for trans women by declaring them to be deluded men

Men in dresses: How A Voice for Men sees trans women
Men in dresses: How A Voice for Men chose to promote its post about trans women

Men’s Rights hate site A Voice for Men has not exactly shown much of an interest in trans* issues in the past. Indeed, the only time I can recall founder Paul Elam ever even mentioning trans* people was in the context of a vicious attack on a Men’s Studies expert who happens to be a trans woman; he suggested she was a mentally ill man-hater whose “so hated the sex they were born with that it sparked a life long academic quest to deconstruct it into something that did not disgust them.”

So it’s a little surprising to see a post on AVFM now with the seemingly dispassionate, slightly turgid, title “Male/female discrepancies in transsexualism.” The post starts out as dry as its title, but it soon becomes clear that it is “scientific” in style only. It’s not an attempt to understand trans women or trans people in general; it’s an attempt to use the existence of trans women as a helpful prop in an old Men’s Rights argument.

After declaring that “the inherent,prenatal explanations for transsexualism are highly questionable” — without actually examining any of these explanations beyond mentioning one study —  Jesse Folsom offers his own crackpot theory to explain why, in his words, there are more “male-to-female [than] female-to-male transsexuals.”

In short, he asserts, our society is so biased against boys and men that a lot of boys and men have decided that they want to become girls and women. And naturally, feminists are largely to blame.

[W]hy would a young boy associate more with the stereotypes assigned to girls? Well, one good reason would be because he wants to, because he regards his stereotypes of women as superior. For instance, in a feminist household, expressions of masculinity may be viewed with derision, or, when there is a father present, as a source of shame.

Also, in case you hadn’t realized this, most mothers are women as well:

Even without such associations, however, a child often just spends more time with his or her mother.

Oh, and so are teachers. It’s like there’s some sort of plot!

While it does not occur until after a large proportion of gender ideas are formed, school also exposes children, primarily, to female role models. Not to mention the fact that many behaviors typical of boys are frowned upon and even drugged out of them in modern school environments.

As a result, young boys have no real role models in society.

And where do boys find themselves today? Today, women can be anything they want. Women can be action heroes, happy homemakers, corporate executives, and powerful politicians.

Obviously there are no examples of men in any of these roles for boys to look up to.

There are two categories of fashion, fashion for everyone and fashion for women only. Women are the ones seen as beautiful and glamorous. Women are kind, gentle, empathetic, and allowed to freely express emotion. With the traditional strengths of men now seen as irrelevant or even negative, why wouldn’t a boy rather be a girl? Is this not as good an explanation as any for the discrepancies between MtF and FtM transsexualism?

Well, actually, no. But Folsom continues, insinuating that this evil feministy brainwashing does terrible damage to all the poor little boys who have decided that they want to be girls:

It is simply implausible that a child that associates with the opposite sex label has any real understanding of what that means, but unfortunately, such associations often stick. Further, this gender dysphoria is extremely harmful, frequently leading to severe depression and high suicide and poverty rates for transsexuals. As one might expect, researchers believe that male-to-female transsexuals are the hardest-hit by these problems.

Aside from all the general bullshittery of Folsom’s not-very-original theory here, it’s telling that he never refers to trans women as, well, women, preferring instead to refer to them either as male-to-female transsexuals — or to actually refer to them as male. Like Elam, clearly doesn’t see trans women as real women, but rather as men suffering from some sort of delusion, driven by internalized misandry.

And that’s really the only way that AVFM can have any sympathy for trans women at all: if they’re seen as male victims of feminism, and not as women at all.

Regular Man Boobz commenter Ally S ventured into the Men’s Rights subreddit to offer a rather more nuanced view of the subject. Some highlights:

This article is almost exactly like countless articles written by trans-exclusionary radical feminists. The only real difference is that the arguments are being used to further support MRA talking points rather than TERF talking points. …

When I was little, I didn’t identify as a girl because I associated more with femininity and stereotypes about girls. It was the other way around: I came to associate more with femininity and stereotypes about girls because I identified as a girl. Just as cis girls associate with stereotypes related to their own gender. …

I guarantee that virtually any trans woman will say that adherence to stereotypes and misandry have nothing to do with identifying as female. That’s because there’s a difference between gender identity and gender expression. Personally, I am a trans woman, but my clothing style is basically agender and I engage in what are often considered masculine activities, such as programming. And when I was a child, I actually saw feminine traits as inferior, not superior – yet I still identified as a girl. I have many friends who have had similar experiences. …

Lastly, deliberately misgendering trans women (you know, what the author does in every other sentence) is completely unacceptable, even if one is speaking about young children. We are not and never will be men.

You can see Ally’s entire comment here, as well as a number of detailed followups. Amazingly, they actually got upvotes in the Men’s Rights subreddit, where Folsom’s article received a generally hostile reception. Apparently some of AVFM’s bullshit is so bullshitty that even Men’s Rights Redditors can recognize it as such.

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Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

“Argenti, I blame any typos on being distracted by Michael Schumacher’s accident. Not joking, either.”

Oh fuck, is he okay? (I figured it was probably a typo, hence the joking tone of my comment)

Wordsp1nner — depending how old your cousin is // if she* would understand, you could just say a variation on what you said in your question — you don’t care if she’s* a boy or a girl or what have you, you’ll support her* no matter what. If she’s* younger, I can try dredging my brain for what I’d have understood at that age.

*assumed for now

Oh and blame any stray ! on iOS thinking I want one when I type a comma.

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
10 years ago

It is awkward because she’s almost ten years younger than me (and more than that from her oldest sister). I should try to talk to her more, if only because the introverts should stick together.

She has one gay cousin (other side of the family). I knew he was gay before his family did (we went to the same college.) It’s now an open secret, but I don’t think he gets much support.

She also has a family history of depression from both sides of the family.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Argenti – no, he’s not. He’s had a brain hemmorage and is in a critical condition in a coma.

I’m sitting trying not to cry at work.

LBT
LBT
10 years ago

Good for you, Ally!

RE: HeatherN

I was under the oppression that the number of people who are trans men and the number of people who are trans women are roughly similar?

What a wonderful typo. The OP’s operating on out-of-date info; for a long time, trans men were considered practically a nonentity; I don’t think they really came into the public eye until the late ’90s and ’00s, with Chaz Bono and Thomas Beatty.

I don’t know what the numbers are these days, but I suspect that the unevenness was partially due to… well, frankly, trans men didn’t have a Christine Jorgensen. Whatever your feelings on Jorgensen, she pretty much devoted herself to making sure people knew that trans women existed, and she absorbed a lot of the cannon fire. Her trans male counterparts, from what I’ve researched, were far too busy trying to do deep stealth and never be found out. I didn’t know of a single trans male activist until poor ol’ whatshisname who fought for gay trans men like me to exist back in the ’80s. He died of AIDS and said with gallows humor, “All my life, I was never allowed to live like a gay man, but it looks like I’ll die like one.”

Bina
Bina
10 years ago

Self-serving hoorah for masculism, QED:

With the traditional strengths of men now seen as irrelevant or even negative, why wouldn’t a boy rather be a girl? Is this not as good an explanation as any for the discrepancies between MtF and FtM transsexualism?

Um, no, it wouldn’t. First off, because those discrepancies don’t actually exist (thanks, Argenti, for the info!) Secondly, because the so-called “traditional strengths of men” are NOT seen as irrelevant or negative; they are as much glorified as ever, and indeed more now than in the past three or four decades; just look at pop culture and how it glorifies the arch-masculine male over everyone else. And thirdly, boys don’t want to become girls just because they spend more time with their mothers, or are taught mainly by female teachers, during their formative years. As Ally pointed out in her response, she never identified as male to begin with, and indeed received strong social conditioning, in the face of all that feminine presence, to assume that male and masculine were “better” — but even with every incentive to identify as male, she doesn’t.

So no, that’s not “as good an explanation as any” for a discrepancy that doesn’t actually exist. It’s not an explanation at all. It’s just more standard-issue MRA hokum mansplaining everything bass-ackwards — and as such, is belittling to transfolk of all persuasions, as well as women.

dallasapple
dallasapple
10 years ago

I have four first cousins, and the youngest has been a huge tomboy since she* could express desires. We don’t see them often, but I saw them a couple times over Christmas, and she just looked… sad.

I met who I “think” was a trans child years a ago .A young “girl” (K) in school with my son .Over the years ..and things ‘she” said ??? She said “I’m a boy inside” “I’m not a girl ” and she “looked” like a boy I mean traditionally ..short hair dressed boy .But she was physically a girl.

This had to have nothing to do with sexuality .she was FIVE the first time I met her. I think ‘
she” was really a “he” who had girl bits. She got along great with everyone in school ..my son used to always remind me not to call “her’ a girl .LOL>.by the 3rd grade ..

I talked to her mother one time ..she said ..I just let her be who she is .I think “he” had a wonderful mother.

LBT
LBT
10 years ago

Oh, and critter #8: the donkey! I plan to finish the other two this week!

RE: Wordsp1nner

Is there anything I can do to let her know that we’d be supportive, whatever is going on? I’d like to help more, but I have no idea what the problem is.

Enh, you can casually mention folks who are gender nonconforming and are awesome–real people you know, or fictional characters in media you guys might share. That’s an easy way.

RE: Kittehs

D: I’m sorry someone you care about is in such trouble! How awful.

Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

dallasapple (lana?) — just a note on her* being five — that’s about how old I was when I realized gender wasn’t permeable (well obviously not with that term, but that I was stuck what I was assigned)

*also assumed

Auggz // wordsp1nner — I found some cool genderqueer pins and stuff the other day, give me one moment.

Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

Here’s one — http://www.cafepress.com/boxersandbinders.1052461327

I want the keep calm one (see the sidebar design list)

kittehserf
10 years ago

LBT – thanks. It’s one of those ironic things: he’s been in motor racing since he was a child, and the worst injury he had was a broken leg in 1999 at the British GP. Now a skiing accident …

🙁

kittehserf
10 years ago

Borg donkey is adorable, btw.

cloudiah
10 years ago

:: applauds Ally ::

:: hugs kittehs ::

LBT
LBT
10 years ago

On the subject of useful accessories, I’m planning on hitting a DID (multi) con in Florida, and oh god, it looks… just… um. I’m pretty sure I’m going to be easily one of the youngest, poorest, freakiest people there.

I’m thinking of letting Sneak dress us that day and buying a Neurodiversity shirt for the occasion. I really have a sinking feeling about it, and it’ll cost me a bundle, ($150 for a weekend con with support groups for suicide? If I’m that crazy, why would I have such money to burn) but I really want to take advantage of the networking opportunity — these guys are my freaking market.

Baaaahhh. Such frustration.

Viscaria
Viscaria
10 years ago

A million props to Ally. You rock!

dallasapple
dallasapple
10 years ago

dallasapple (lana?) —

Yes I’m lana …I don’t know how my thing switched around here .I started getting “moderated” then I was dallasapple” …

Anyway I’ m lana (that’s my name)

Call me Lana or Dallas I answer to either .((((HUGS))))

dallasapple
dallasapple
10 years ago

I’m lana and I live in dallas . (the burbs) if that explains things.

dallasapple
dallasapple
10 years ago

OH MY GOD!!! I just watched the Cobowys lose !! Hello! Not “brain bleach” Just Oh no we lost………………………………LOL!! next time!

Ally S
10 years ago

Thanks for the kind words, guys.

I argued with another MRA on the same thread who actually ridiculed me when I asked him to not misgender trans people: http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1tvbzt/another_stunning_hard_hitting_avfm_expose_sure_to/cec8d9f

Also, TMF is terrible.

dallasapple
dallasapple
10 years ago

dallasapple (lana?) — just a note on her* being five — that’s about how old I was when I realized gender wasn’t permeable (well obviously not with that term, but that I was stuck what I was assigned)

*also assumed

Have some grace amongst the ones who love you . It is confusing . Give them a second to figure it out . It’s not an everyday occurance.

Ally S
10 years ago

@Voidborn

I’m a trans woman and I want to say thank you to Ally S, I’ve had to deal with the good, the bad, and the just plain ugly, and reading her story really helps.

Yay! I’m glad to hear that you found my comment helpful. ^_^

Also, here’s your welcome package.

Alice Sanguinaria
10 years ago

Yay Ally!

RE “fashions for everybody” — That struck me too, for a moment. Then I realized that society as a whole doesn’t give a shit if women wear men’s things, while there’s a huge stigma about men donning women’s things. I bought some shirts on ThinkGeek yesterday — they’re unisex shirts, but it was initially labeled “for men” and have male models.

Yay, gender roles? *rolls eyes*

I really hate the fact that women are considered a seperate group that isn’t “people”. Why is there such thing as a “T-shirt” option and a “girly fit” option on RedButton and other clothing stores?

katz
10 years ago

Argenti – no, he’s not. He’s had a brain hemmorage and is in a critical condition in a coma.

I’m sitting trying not to cry at work.

Fuck, I didn’t know it was that bad. I heard he had an accident but I didn’t know he was in a coma. I hope he will be OK. F1 drivers are made out of sturdy stuff.

Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

Fuck, I missed kitteh’s reply. That’s horrible, I hope he pulls through alright.

Lana — no need to explain your nym change, WP is weird like that! Not sure what you meant telling me to have grace with the ones I love though, seeing how I was talking about myself…

Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

Ally, oh yeah, there’s barely a T in LGBT cuz we’re just so damned hostile. That’s it, I’m sure. What a fucking fucker that fucker is.

And the brain is easier to change than the body? Is that why “reparative therapy” has been so successful? I mean, obviously that’s about sexytimes, not gender, but I somehow doubt it’d work better for gender. Oh, right, most of the (highly unethical) examples of regendering children have gone poorly.

What fucking idiocy.