Categories
alpha males beta males domestic violence grandiosity mansplaining men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny penises precious bodily fluids PUA red pill

"Whilst my canteen of a d*ck wast roaming her cavern" and other bon mots from the worst short story ever written

2010-Roosevelt-Dime

I think I may have discovered the worst piece of short fiction ever written. It’s on a manosphere/pickup-artist blog called Colonel Crimson (slogan: “The Colonel of Truth”).

Here’s how it starts:

So I’m in bed with a dime and she says to me, “Willis, what are your goals in life?”

“Simple, Adime,” I respond with my larynx. “To explore the caverns of dimes throughout the world.”

And it only gets worse from there. I would quote the worst bits, but then I’d have to quote the whole thing. Pretty much everything is a worst bit.

There’s some domestic violence, some utterly horrifying descriptions of sex, a lot of mansplaining, and even a sammich joke. There’s an element of self-parody to it — or at least I hope that’s what I’m seeing there — but the author seems to actually believe all the things he’s gently satirizing. You should of course go and read the whole thing immediately.

If you’re hesitating, here’s another sample:

I remind her of her last gentleman suitor. Average height, median weight. Put the schlub in the word schlub. “Do you remember when he strapped on his kneepads and proposed marriage to you?”

“Unfortunately I do.”

“And do you have any recollection of how the beaver felt in that moment?”

“Dry.”

Oh, and in case you were wondering, a “dime” is a Hot Babe 10. Either that or the dude is having hallucinations about talking currency.

150 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
historophilia
historophilia
10 years ago

See at first I assumed that “dime” was supposed to be “dame” but misspelt and in my head it resulted in my reading this giving the narrator a really strong cockney accent.

Which would probably make this a more interesting story.

Maybe “cavern” is actually cockney rhyming slang?

zoon echon logon
zoon echon logon
10 years ago

This managed to offend me as a caver. That’s new. Usually that only happens when people talk about bats being scary and gross. Bats are cool, shut up.

Sort of unrelated, but the best build for caving is usually possessed by people that are tiny and female.

alternatesteve90
10 years ago

Oh dear….this isn’t just poorly written, it’s got “twisted pervo” stamped all over it. And look at where he links: The Spearhead, Chateau Heartiste, Roosh V, Return of Kings, and Rational Male…..etc.; yeah, this guy’s definitely warped. No question.

kittehserf
10 years ago

historophilia, yeah, I thought it was a misspelling of dame, too, though I didn’t think of a Cockney accent.

One can only hope it’s a Poe. Otherwise, shit, how bad can writing get?

Ally S
10 years ago

“Simple, Adime,” I respond with my larynx. “To explore the caverns of dimes throughout the world.”

Okay, I think I need to use my legs to walk to my car, use my arms and legs to drive it, and then go all the way to the mall and use my legs again so that I can walk to the Apple store and buy a new computer by giving the cashier money from my own hands. Anyone else want to join me?

NonServiam
10 years ago

I managed one quick scan of that and was done. Done. As in, done with the universe. DONE!

opium4themasses
opium4themasses
10 years ago

“I dropped my dime on that dame and she went for the quarterback. She came crawling back a day later but she was a dollar short. Who needed Penny, the hypergamous woman from Richard’s canteen?”

Jurgan
10 years ago

Oh, I thought he was talking about patronizing inexpensive prostitutes.

Brooked
Brooked
10 years ago

Bats are adorable. A pox on anyone who speaks ill of bats.

I looked up cavern in the urban dictionary and it just makes that dialogue goofier.

jemima2013
jemima2013
10 years ago

pretty sure thats a parody…i have read a lot of BDSM porn, as i think has the writer

Robert Ramirez
Robert Ramirez
10 years ago

First impression I got from this is..whoever wrote this obviously never had sex before. I am sorry but that is the impression I get. It is like they read a whole bunch of Penthouse letters played a lot of D&D and watched some Popeye cartoons and just mashed it all up together.

kittehserf
10 years ago

zoon echon logon – I like bats too. Especially the flying foxes we have in Melbourne. 🙂

alternatesteve90
10 years ago

@kittehserf: “I like bats too. Especially the flying foxes we have in Melbourne.” Fox McCloud? 😀 (Sorry, it’s a reference to the protagonist of the 1997 N64 classic game, “StarFox”…..he flies jets that shoot lasers and has to save his home galaxy from a marauding would-be dictator…..real fun game, btw.)

cloudiah
10 years ago

opium4the masses, that was awesome.

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

“I responded with my larynx.”

That may be the worst sentence ever written. “Said.” That is all you need.

I tried to read more of the story, got to the second paragraph and my brain quit.

Brooked
Brooked
10 years ago

“I am sorry General. It shall never happen again.”

“See that it doesn’t. See……..(pause for effect)…. that it doesn’t.”

“Indeed. And wow just wow. Your pause truly affected me.”

This creaky excerpt is the Captain’s most successful attempt at humor in the whole story. Terrifyingly, I’m pretty sure the author thought the whole thing was HILARIOUS, peaking at the end with that crowd-pleasing favorite, “make me a sammich”.

Is there any way to try someone for crimes against humor?

cloudiah
10 years ago

“cummage” — he reminds me of Steele.

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

“quakering…” I don’t think he’s ever seen a woman orgasm.

Shaun DarthBatman Day
10 years ago

OT, but the topics of aspirations and bats reminded me that my 4yo’s aspiration is to have Spiderman and Batman as her boyfriends when she grows up.

bodycrimes
10 years ago

Thanks for that! I couldn’t stop laughing.

This is going to knock Eye of Argon (worst story ever written and frequently read out at Sci Fi conventions) off its pedestal.

Maybe the author could get this guy to read it out? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikM_Lh8Q0xo

Biot
Biot
10 years ago

@alternatesteve90: I did a barrel roll when I saw the title of this post. I don’t think it worked…

opium4themasses
opium4themasses
10 years ago

“I responded with my larynx.”

Thanks cloudiah. It almost makes the dirtiness from channeling that writer worth it.

Charles Miller
10 years ago

“With orgasmic pleasure, Sir. You induced cummage upon my quakering body 5.5 times.”

WAT?

The only explanation I can come up with is that “Adime” is really “Adimebag”, and the author is so high he’s talking to his weed.

Brooked
Brooked
10 years ago

@bodycrimes

This is going to knock Eye of Argon (worst story ever written and frequently read out at Sci Fi conventions) off its pedestal.

I read a MSTing of Eye of Argon years ago, it was pure genius. I highly recommend it, if you like that sort of thing.

Brooked
Brooked
10 years ago

“quakering…” I don’t think he’s ever seen a woman orgasm.

Unless sex can turn you into a Quaker, in which case he’s witnessed a very rare form of orgasm.

1 2 3 6