Oh, Men’s Rightsers, can you just make up your minds? Only a couple of days after blaming trolls for the spamming of Occidental College’s rape reporting site with false accusations, rather than acknowledging it as the work of Men’s Rightsers in his own subreddit who were proudly encouraging and taking credit for it themselves, Men’s Rights subreddit mod sillymod is now defending the false rape reporting as “unpopular” but thought-provoking activism.
![sillymod 6 points 7 hours ago (13|7) First you have to believe that we did something wrong in order to want to get our reputation back. Sometimes people fighting for a cause are going to do something that is unpopular in order to make a statement. I don't think we do need to get our reputation back. I think the act stands for itself, and it will get people to stop and think. permalink source save give gold hide child comments [–]TheIdesOfLight [+20] 15 points 4 hours ago (22|7) So I guess that whole "We were trolled"/"It was SRS!" bullshit is off the table? You can't pass the buck and convince yourselves everyone else is guilty but you and now it's become an act of bravery? Wow. Yeah, watching you flip flop on this for the past three days has been both alarming and rewarding. You didn't make any kind of statement, Sillymod. The entire internet and media is sneering at you and you still can't just say WE DID A TERRIBLE THING. PERHAPS WE SHOULD REFLECT ON IT AS A WHOLE. permalink source save parent give gold [–]ninioquiroz 6 points 3 hours ago (12|6) No, because that would require a level of maturity and self-awareness that this "movement" clearly lacks. But, does anybody else think feminists are to blame for all the world's problems?](https://i0.wp.com/www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/sillymod2.png?resize=493%2C520&ssl=1)
This whole exchange is worth reading — it continues on for a number of comments beyond this, with sillymod’s rationalizations becoming increasingly baroque. It’s extremely rare to see critical remarks like those from TheIdesOfLight actually get upvoted in the Men’s Rights subreddit. The Occidental College fiasco has divided the Men’s Rights subreddit like nothing I’ve ever seen before. Some are appalled by it; others are digging in their heels.
Speaking of which, here’s former subreddit mod Celda defending the false rape reports in much more straightforward terms than sillymod:
![Celda [-1] 5 points 18 hours ago (9|4) I agree that the subreddit deserves some responsibility for that. But - there was nothing wrong with those actions. I saw the news articles in which it says they were spammed with hundreds of reports, of being raped by fictional characters, accusing the staff of the Dean's Office (the form is run by the Dean's Office), etc. Those reports are non-harmful - and the goal of shutting down the online form is quite a laudable one. I am actually quite disgusted by the number of people who are defending the existence of an anonymous online form intended for reporting people as rapists.](https://i0.wp.com/www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/celda.png?resize=521%2C231&ssl=1)
Elsewhere, Celda has called the false reporting “quite moral and laudable.”
Thanks to the AgainstMensRights subreddit — which, again, is not actually against rights for men, but against the reactionary clusterfuck that is the Men’s Rights movement — for keeping close track on all this.
Happy anniversary opheliamonarch!
Thanks everybody, I was totally fishing. 🙂
Aw, Kitteh, you’re a real boost to the ageing ego. 🙂
You just reminded me of our wedding day. We eloped (’cause no/shit family) and went to Gretna Green.
We stayed at a B&B the night before and the next morning we met the landlady. She didn’t believe I was old enough to get married and sidled up to me whilst Mr M was in the loo. She asked me for my parents phone number because she thought I was fifteen and had run away to Gretna. She then kept asking me if I was absolutely certain I wanted to get married. I’m two months older than Mr M and he was miffed she thought he was some creepy older fella.
And then Mr M sat on the bagpipes, but that’s another story. 🙂
I know, I know, too many smilies, but I is happy. 🙂
I’m imagining that sitting on the bagpipes is a juvenile laughter moment!
I wanna see/hear the sitting on the bagpipes moment!
And OMG you two did Gretna Green. Classic stuff!
Happy anniversary, opheliamonarch!
So I was on the bus today and a young woman got on with a little boy, maybe about a year old, and they sat across from me. The first thing I noticed was that the little boy was adorable; he had one of those old man faces that little kids sometimes have, and she had him wearing a little red cap. The next thing I noticed was that he was wearing a denim jacket embroidered with “MR Rights.” Mister Rights? I did an imaginary spit-take and thought, “OMG is the MRM more mainstream than I thought?” And then I looked more carefully and realized his jacket actually said “Future Mr Right” and a heaved a big sigh of relief, since all was right with this misandric world.
To be fair ‘Mr M sat on the bagpipes’ kind of covers it. 🙂
But imagine:
A very quiet, very old, church like reception area. A room full of about 40 people (nothing to do with us). A man in a kilt with bagpipes. A chair and five minutes till you literally say your vows.
Poor lad just wanted to sit down for a minute, he never leapt so high, so fast, those suckers are loud! Kind of like a mega whoopee cushion with pending nuptials and a room full of strangers jumping out of their skin, whilst a man in a kilt panics about his bagpipes.
I was having trouble standing, nerves and the giggle loop overcame me. You’re really not supposed to laugh whilst an elderly Scotsman walks you down the aisle (He felt bad that I had nobody to give me away so insisted, I think he was more upset than we were that we were on our own.)
Anyway, so erm, yeah, Mr M sat on the bagpipes and as is always the case with us, we spent the rest of the day giggling and making jokes. We are not as other people, I wore trousers on my wedding day and then we went for a coke in Debenhams, romantic fools that we are. Couldn’t have been More relaxed. My sister had the whole nine yards with her first husband and I’ve gotta say, ours was better.
Hey Cloudiah, Thank you. 🙂
Hi!
I’m a lurker here, who has commented a couple of times.
First off – Congrats Ophelia!!! 🙂
Second – I wanted to make a suggestion about the ableist comments. This is based purely on my personal experience, and so might not be relevant to anyone else, but then again, it might. I don’t think I’ve ever been corrected here, and I hope that I would never do anything to give rise to that, but just in case, I would like to, in advance, thank the people pointing out the problem to me.
However, while I’ve been lurking, I’ve been scared off a few times, after reading some of the correcting. The problem is that several people all jump in to tell the person that they’ve done something wrong, and even just as a lurker, it feels like an attack. I know it’s not remotely intended as such, but I know that, were I in the position of a commenter innocently making a mistake, then a reply by one or two people correcting me would be very gratefully received, and I would make all efforts to change. But a whole bunch of people commenting at once would make me feel overwhelmed, and I would retreat. So, a suggestion – please do continue to help people to see when they’ve made a mistake, but maybe refresh the page first, and if it’s already been pointed out a couple of times, refrain from your comment, unless there’s something extra to add? (Please note – I am not referring to recent comments in this thread, but to times in the past.)
I realize that as a mostly-lurker, this is not remotely “my” site, and of course I recognize that you may do whatever you deem best, and I hope this suggestion will not make me unwelcome here.
@Rahu
if something’s been pointed out and I don’t have something to add (re: ableist comments) I don’t normmaly say anything, but if I post before refreshing, it may be like the fourth commetn or w/e to point it out.
I normally try to point things out in a “nice” way (Not saying this is necessarily a good thing or pointing them out in a blunt way is bad — this is just me cuz I’m mildly scared of conflict), but after the gazillionth ableist comment, anyone gets a little testy, even if it wasn’t made be someone hwo’d did it before. I mean, if people kept stepping on your toes, you may be like “Hey, please give me some room” the first couple times, but the hundredth time it’d be like “BACK OFF!” even if it was that particular toe steppers frist infraction…
Anyway, tired + brainfog = poor spelling and sentence composition, so I’m not sure how much/ little sense this made.
Furrinati Unicorns:
http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/02/ec/83/02ec83488b2242f22a2013f4dabcc71d.jpg
http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/0a/f0/c6/0af0c6d9e24973de36373b6f04afd5d4.jpg
Fishy Unicorns:
http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/9a/ab/56/9aab56a2e214931b027cbcc6bddf7ba9.jpg
@ableist language.
well, I think its in part because there isn’t nearly as much social awareness on the subject. I find myself having to be careful, because ableism Is pretty ingrained to me, despite my efforts to be open-minded.
I mean, Many kinds of disablities are commonly used as common insults, and even Among careful people, calling someone ‘crazy’ or ‘insane’ to describe how out of touch they are, is considered a mild insult.
obviously, that doesn’t make it ok, but trust me when I say that Its easy to be caught off guard using ableist language without realizing it, when one is focusing on sexism, or racism, or whatever.
((for instance, Ive always respected disabled or otherwise handicapped people, and refused to look down on them.. but until I started lurking here, I didn’t know what ableist meant, nor did I realize the obvious.. which is that like all isms, language plays a heavy part in the subtle cultural ableism.)
If i’m being fully truthful, my first knee jerk reaction was to be upset at all the accusations of people using ableist language, and calling you guys too pc or whatever. but I suppose thats because, like most people, Its an uncomfortable feeling to realize I’d been really insensitive In my regular langauge, and Instinctively wanna deflect, rather then actually examine what Ive been doing. (though I have, for the most part, not actually been too Ableist in my comments here, I *AM* the type of person who uses ableist langage regularly, and I am now trying to re-examine that.)
Congratulations ophelia and Mr M. Also it’s totally fine to sit on bagpipes imho.
@ Rahu
The problem lies in the suggestion that we’re supposed to assume that some is “innocently making a mistake”. That’s already a not entirely reasonable expectation to have, and it becomes progressively less reasonable the higher the person making the comment is in the kyriarchy and the lower the people seeing and being offended by it are, and/or the more personally upsetting it is to them.
I feel like the onus is being put on people who may be feeling upset/triggered/like the place they hang out all the time has suddenly become more hostile to them to be patient and nice in order to spare the feelings of someone who just said something rude and/or offensive, and that’s not sitting right with me.
LA Times view of the online form.
http://www.latimes.com/local/la-me-occidental-abuse-hotline-20131220,0,589856.story#ixzz2o5V87U5E
Reddit MRA view of the online form.
Yup, the MRM is definitely a bastion of science, facts, statistics and rationality, totally free of the emotionalism, hyperbole, bias and bigotry rampant in the “institutional” feminism that dominates higher education. Nailed it, dudebros.
I also got a chuckle from this redditor observation.
Because not flourishes more on the internet then reasoned, emotion-free discussion.
“Kind of like a mega whoopee cushion”
Called it!
@Fade, long time, no speak. Hope you and yours are well and happy. 🙂
@Rahu, thank you and welcome. Hope this doesn’t feel like piling on.
I do totally get what you’re saying, but I think Fade hit it on the head there (12:35pm). I felt more patience a couple of months ago, but I’ve got to say I’m feeling the love less and less.
You’re right, piling in isn’t nice and I certainly have never said anything if somebody has already done so, and even then I try to keep it light.
What’s been noticeable lately is that it has been people who are not new to this site using ableist words and then doubling down when people ask them to stop. That gets frustrating as this subject comes up in most threads and the people it affects get tired of having to explain. If people read the comments on this blog they will see this explained time and time again. When people continue to use these words regardless I can only assume that they don’t care who they hurt and then I get cross.
Also, @Unimaginative made some great points in the comment at 10:48pm.
Hope to see you commenting again. 🙂
Whaaaa that’s perfect, it’s just the story I hoped for, Ophelia!
@Opheliamonarch
Hi!! i’m doing well (especially b/c it’s winter break and i got no school work until jan 13).
unfortunatelly, it’s like, 2 in the night where I am, so this is where I say good night to all.
goodnight. 😀
Pineapplecookies, FWIW, I’m sorry about your friend. I hope things have gotten better for him. I’ve never understood the “you’re lucky because your rapist is hot” line of thinking. As far as I can tell, rape is the only crime where someone feels it’s fine if the criminal is attractive. As if being treated as less than human/an object to be used how someone else sees fit w/o regard to your own thoughts/feelings is just fine if the person looks good
Ophelia, that’s adorable. Congrats & many more happy years together.
@cassandraSays
“I feel like the onus is being put on people who may be feeling upset/triggered/like the place they hang out all the time has suddenly become more hostile to them to be patient and nice in order to spare the feelings of someone who just said something rude and/or offensive, and that’s not sitting right with me.”
(Not trusting blockquote monster)
Totally agree, to be honest it feels like victim blaming. The people who object always say ‘you’re too sensitive.’ ‘I didn’t mean it like that.’ ‘That’s just too PC’. ‘you’re just being ridiculous.’
It’s like there wouldn’t be a problem if the person who was upset would just shut up.
@Fade, glad to hear you’re well, I really have to go to bed too (no really) nighty, night Fade.
Nighty, night everybody.
Love to Louis Kitteh. xxx
Goodnight Jim Bob…..
Refresh!
Thanks Skye, nighty, night. 🙂
I just think it’s funny that her biggest fanboys spell her nym as “GirlRightsWhat.”
Lol Cloudiah!
Radfems will be rioting in the streets!
Nope – an anonymous, unofficial false report through the form doesn’t have the same harmful potential as an official false report. The only consequence of being accused through the anonymous form is that the accused individual will be warned to not commit the offense again should the accusation be true. No other consequences are possible.
Since false reports are less likely to happen through the anonymous form for the reason stated above, data gathered via the form actually have the potential to be more representative of the true prevalence of victimization than information gathered via official reports.