So a fellow over at Roosh Valizadeh’s Return of Kings blog has come up with a new way for men to “dominate” the women in their lives. And it’s inspired by … prison rape.
Let’s let him explain. The RoK writer who calls himself raywolf was allegedly hanging out with an alleged old friend of his who’d allegedly just gotten out of prison after 20 years for his part in an armed robbery in which a security guard was killed.
His friend “Jake” was apparently a bit taken aback by the changes that have taken place over the last several decades. Surprised by the ubiquity of tattoos amongst the general population, and by what he saw as a lot of “masculinized” women out there, he concluded that life outside of prison these days is a lot like life inside prison.
And this brings us to the prison rape. Or, as Jake prefers to call it, eliding entirely the issue of consent, sodomy:
He explained to me that one of the ways in jail that guys dominate each other and push someone into submission is with the use of sodomy. … there was a hierarchy established in some groups in the prison, through the use of having a bitch, especially amongst lifers. It’s not just a sexual thing, or gay – it’s a question of creating loyalty and having someone to cover your back and run errands and favors for you.
So at this point a light bulb apparently went off in Jake’s head and he thought:
“The answer is to fuck your bird in the ass, then she’ll be your bitch.”
It seems to me we’re missing something here, and that something is consent. Some people like butt stuff; some people don’t. The ass isn’t a battleground, or at least it shouldn’t be. If the, “bird” in question enjoys anal sex and agrees to it, you’re not actually “making her your bitch.” You’re simply having a particular kind of sex with her — and one that actually requires a grat deal of trust and patience in order to be pleasurable for both partners. If she doesn’t enjoy it and says no, you’re RAPING HER.
But let’s hear the rest of his, er, argument:
In times gone by, women were submissive to the male in large part due to the sexual act. The emotional response to having another human being penetrate your body and deposit their genetic fluids inside it is not to be overlooked in terms of establishing a power structure. I can hear the feminists howling rape as I write this, but it’s not entirely the case.
Well, it’s true that rape — and not just anal rape — has been used to terrorize women (and some men) into submission. But sex is sex and rape is rape, and it’s raywolf and Jake, not feminists, who seem to have trouble telling the two apart.
While women are hardwired to be submissive to their man, the internet is on fire with married men complaining about how aggressive, cold, demanding and so forth their wives have become. Clearly the power structure has collapsed.
Ah, now we get to the real complaint: women aren’t doing what we want them to do.
Naturally, raywolf tries to pretend that this makes women miserable too:
Women are not happy either—they are crashing about in men’s lives and bouncing from one divorce to the next.
So what does this have to do with butt stuff?
Vaginal sex is now seen as nothing more than a pleasurable pastime for women. It no longer carries the weight it once did. …
Whereas before a woman having sex with a man meant to some degree she had given herself away to that man, that she was now under his umbrella, today it is virtually meaningless—just a quick mutual genital massage.
Well, it can be. But PIV sex can still be and often is emotionally meaningful; it doesn’t cease to be that just because it no longer means that the dude with the penis gets to boss the woman around afterwards. Raywolf is confusing “meaningful” with “good for dudes like me.”
Enter the butt:
Sodomy on the other hand is still an act that has not been entirely pushed into the realm of indifference like regular sex has. You can most certainly find girls that are anal virgins.
There is a bit of truth here: anal sex does carry connotations (for many people at least) that vaginal sex doesn’t. It’s still seen as dirty, as taboo, and possibly even as vaguely humiliating for the receiver. For some people, that makes it a no-no; for others, that’s part of its appeal.
Raywolf then tells the story of an ex-girlfriend of his who
had got curious about anal sex from watching porn. She started asking to try it. … We freely had anal sex for many months, until we both passed over it as a ‘phase’. For that year, the relationship was amazing. She was literally my bitch. She did what she was told.
Now, there’s just one little difference between this and prison “sex.” It didn’t take place in an atmosphere of coercion and physical threat. It took place because Raywolf’s girlfriend has decided to explore her sexuality. She’s the one who asked to do it. In other words, it was sex, not rape. How this equates to him “dominating” her or making her his “bitch” I have no idea.
Raywolf offers up his own crackpot theory to explain why butt sex makes those getting penetrated submissive:
I was trying to think into why this might be and you can laugh at my theory, but the connection of the rectum to the digestive system which is in many ways the emotional brain of the human machine is clear and present.
Well, it’s true that we can have “gut feelings” about things but, I’m pretty sure the emotional brain of the human machine is still … the brain.
If you look at the intestines they look a lot like the curls of the brain.
Oh. So things that look the same ARE the same? Is spaghetti the brains of Italian food?
Being stressed or nervous can literally shut down your digestion, make you throw up or lose your appetite. It’s an emotional group of organs. The kidneys and lungs for example are a more logical organ, they just process all day long.
After this bit of crackpottery, raywolf returns us to prison:
When a man is sodomised in jail, it’s not just the stigma or the act itself. As Jake explained – another male has taken control, and possessed his emotional state, both physically and psychologically, he therefore becomes submissive, at least until he’s been nailed by 20 different guys, then the whole thing becomes as much of a moot point as the vagina does these days.
There are many reasons why a male rape victim in prison might “become submissive” towards the man who raped him. One reason? Since he’s unlikely to be able to avoid his rapist, he may wish to avoid future rapes at the hands of the same man, or at least to mitigate the violence of these rapes. Or he might count on his rapist to protect him from being raped by others.
But to raywolf, after enough raping — sorry, sodomy — he ultimately becomes the one with power:
He gets bitchy after a while, now he’s got value, something others want. But his first has a huge hold.
In conclusion, raywolf argues:
It’s a theory for you to consider and experiment with. I noticed both my previous relationships got out of hand a few months after we stopped doing anal. If you want to hang on to her, try doing her in the ass a few times a month. Make her submit to you. It might make her settle down and lose some of the entitled attitude.
It’s remarkable just how readily these guys equate sex with themselves as a kind of punishment for any woman unlucky enough to find themselves in bed with them.
For raywolf, the actual sex seems to be almost beside the point. His real aim is to knock “entitled” women down a peg or two.
Just as he has elided the issue of consent when it comes to the person being penetrated — whether girlfriend or cellmate — raywolf has also elided the issue of pleasure, when it comes to the one doing the penetrating. Believe it or not, but some dudes don’t actually enjoy fucking other people in the butt.
But no matter: Raywolf, like Roosh himself, seems far more interested in taking out his aggressions and resentments on women than he does in actually enjoying sex.
NOTE: If you are concerned about prison rape, I’d suggest you check out the organization Just Detention International, which advocates for victims of rape and other forms of sexual abuse in jails and prisons.
I remember one bit where someone (Niall?) was fantasising about opening Helva’s capsule, but backed right off when she urged him to. I don’t recall any bits where a rape was about to happen, though I don’t think I’ve read all the Ship books. The part where Helva and several other BB people are kidnapped is skeevy, but it isn’t about raping their bodies.
I must say the way Ship Who Searched builds up to Tia acquiring a sort of sex-robot body for herself is rather … strange, though it is her choice so she can do Teh Secks with Alex.
THIS, so much! I loathe that usage, I loathe everything about it. Mind you I loathe all the slang terms for the vulva, but that one brings all the extra rage because of kitties.
Yeah, sorry, the one McCaffrey book we read had a teenage girl getting raped by her overseer. Can’t claim that one didn’t have it.
And oh man, how disturbing is it that I think of more and more Piers Anthony books and ALL OF THEM HAVE RAPE. At LEAST the first three Xanth books, and the fifth, and the sixth…
This makes me want to troll people about my childhood attempts at camel riding. You think riding horses is super erotic for girls, huh? Well let me tell you about that time…
(Please note – do not try masturbation via camel at home. Camels are very cute, but riding on them…well, imagine the oldest car with the crappiest suspension you can think of, and then add speedbumps. Not comfy.)
I rode a camel once, as a kid. Not an experience I’d want to repeat!
Next thing these idiots will be saying we get ‘gina tingles from riding a bike. OW FUCK NO, I never want to sit on a bike seat again, bloody painful experience that was.
Camels have to have the most jarring gait of any animal that humans have ever used as transportation.
And now I’m wondering how creepers would sexualize the games of my childhood. Sexy Monopoly? Sexy Go? Sexy Snakes and…wait, that’s too easy.
I love to ride my bike, but not for anything sexy to do with my genitalia. It’s mainly the fun of being able to just about fly under my own power, and be taller in the saddle than a person behind the wheel of an SUV. Only transport truck drivers ride higher.
I keep thinking how nice it would be to ride a bike, especially when I see the women’s bikes with baskets in front; I really like the look of them. But wearing padding in my pants because even a gel-padded seat is too uncomfortable is pretty off-putting; plus, these days, there isn’t anywhere I can ride without going on a damn train ride first. There’s nowhere to go withing bike-riding distance where I live.
kittehserf: guys should probably ride horses sidesaddle, at least with western saddles…..
Cassandra: the North Sea at least is much softer than what most of what horses have thrown me into, although the sumac thicket was kinda trampoline-y.
Being able to tack and ride a horse is too a useful skill! When the zombie apocalypse comes and gasoline runs out, you’ll see!
RE: CassandraSays
I can only imagine. I’ve seen those saddles people put on camels; it mostly just looks like padding. Lots and lots of padding.
RE: Kittehs
Next thing these idiots will be saying we get ‘gina tingles from riding a bike.
…too late. Waaaay too late. (To be fair, at least one woman I know of does. She made a comic about it.)
As for ass padding… well, my ass is generously padded, and you also develop a resistance with practice? I don’t know. Resistass?
WHY DO YOU TELL ME THESE THINGS WHYYYYY
… though I will say some train seats can be nicely buzzy. /TMI
It’s not the ass that’s getting the pain with bike riding, that’s the problem! Mine’s well padded too.
Wait. We’re supposed to get off on riding bikes?
You know, that would be such a weird experience, riding down the hill trying to get to class on time and making an O-face. I can’t imagine my fellow students wanting to see that.
Women getting off bike riding? That sounds like something that only exists in bad shounen manga.
I read that as shounen mangina …
No, it’s a real thing! I have evidence! (SFW)
I’ve never gotten any tingles from riding ANYTHING. I think my genitals are just impervious to vibration or something, like a flak jacket.
LOL I like that comic! 😀
I would just like to say, for what it’s worth, Pern has gotten a *lot* less rapey since Todd McCaffrey took over (at least, from the books I’ve read). And some of them even have LBGT in positive roles!
Oh lor’, I’m reading through DAR – it’s wonderful, I’m cracking up laughing. 🙂
I read a very, very odd short story of hers years and years ago. It was a first contact story but the culture contacted were intelligent plant humanoids. When the humans arrived the plants weren’t flowering so they weren’t actually present (they only became humanoid in order to reproduce, apparently) and the humans, thinking they were ordinary plants ate them. When they flowered they were horribly mutilated because the humans had been munching on them. They accepted that the humans hadn’t known they were intelligent so they allowed them to stay on the condition that the humans allowed themselves to be similarly mutilated.
As I said, really, really odd and squicky. Unless it was some kind of ecological allegory I’m not sure what her point was. I remember finding it a pretty horrific idea at the time (I was soooo innocent then).
The story was one of McCaffrey’s BTW…
I rode a camel recently. Unlike with a horse, or Arabian camel riders, I was all the way back on the animal’s rump.
It helps if you’re kind of loose jointed, which I’m not.
Also, you wobble back and forth rather alarmingly, but the four-footed rhythm is kind of comforting.
Seranvali – eww, what a horrible story.
FFS….This is just evil….Shit like this, makes me distrust men…..It is depressing how so many men just want to dominate women…I know not all men are like this but many of them are.
This might be a good time/place to mention that even if you don’t have any money to donate, Just Detention will send out holiday cards on your behalf (called Words of Hope). For some prisoners, this may be the only card they get.
Thirding (or whatever) the idea that your gut does affect your brain, but not in penis-related ways. Joan Slonczewski gave a cool talk called “Microbes rule your brain!” and also has a 2-sentence summary of and link to an article that talks more about it.
Others have already mentioned that the supposedly “logical” lungs can be affected by stress. Like the gut, they’re not just affected by the brain, they affect the brain as well.
“As it turns out, deep breathing is not only relaxing, it’s been scientifically proven to affect the heart, the brain, digestion, the immune system — and maybe even the expression of genes.”