So a fellow over at Roosh Valizadeh’s Return of Kings blog has come up with a new way for men to “dominate” the women in their lives. And it’s inspired by … prison rape.
Let’s let him explain. The RoK writer who calls himself raywolf was allegedly hanging out with an alleged old friend of his who’d allegedly just gotten out of prison after 20 years for his part in an armed robbery in which a security guard was killed.
His friend “Jake” was apparently a bit taken aback by the changes that have taken place over the last several decades. Surprised by the ubiquity of tattoos amongst the general population, and by what he saw as a lot of “masculinized” women out there, he concluded that life outside of prison these days is a lot like life inside prison.
And this brings us to the prison rape. Or, as Jake prefers to call it, eliding entirely the issue of consent, sodomy:
He explained to me that one of the ways in jail that guys dominate each other and push someone into submission is with the use of sodomy. … there was a hierarchy established in some groups in the prison, through the use of having a bitch, especially amongst lifers. It’s not just a sexual thing, or gay – it’s a question of creating loyalty and having someone to cover your back and run errands and favors for you.
So at this point a light bulb apparently went off in Jake’s head and he thought:
“The answer is to fuck your bird in the ass, then she’ll be your bitch.”
It seems to me we’re missing something here, and that something is consent. Some people like butt stuff; some people don’t. The ass isn’t a battleground, or at least it shouldn’t be. If the, “bird” in question enjoys anal sex and agrees to it, you’re not actually “making her your bitch.” You’re simply having a particular kind of sex with her — and one that actually requires a grat deal of trust and patience in order to be pleasurable for both partners. If she doesn’t enjoy it and says no, you’re RAPING HER.
But let’s hear the rest of his, er, argument:
In times gone by, women were submissive to the male in large part due to the sexual act. The emotional response to having another human being penetrate your body and deposit their genetic fluids inside it is not to be overlooked in terms of establishing a power structure. I can hear the feminists howling rape as I write this, but it’s not entirely the case.
Well, it’s true that rape — and not just anal rape — has been used to terrorize women (and some men) into submission. But sex is sex and rape is rape, and it’s raywolf and Jake, not feminists, who seem to have trouble telling the two apart.
While women are hardwired to be submissive to their man, the internet is on fire with married men complaining about how aggressive, cold, demanding and so forth their wives have become. Clearly the power structure has collapsed.
Ah, now we get to the real complaint: women aren’t doing what we want them to do.
Naturally, raywolf tries to pretend that this makes women miserable too:
Women are not happy either—they are crashing about in men’s lives and bouncing from one divorce to the next.
So what does this have to do with butt stuff?
Vaginal sex is now seen as nothing more than a pleasurable pastime for women. It no longer carries the weight it once did. …
Whereas before a woman having sex with a man meant to some degree she had given herself away to that man, that she was now under his umbrella, today it is virtually meaningless—just a quick mutual genital massage.
Well, it can be. But PIV sex can still be and often is emotionally meaningful; it doesn’t cease to be that just because it no longer means that the dude with the penis gets to boss the woman around afterwards. Raywolf is confusing “meaningful” with “good for dudes like me.”
Enter the butt:
Sodomy on the other hand is still an act that has not been entirely pushed into the realm of indifference like regular sex has. You can most certainly find girls that are anal virgins.
There is a bit of truth here: anal sex does carry connotations (for many people at least) that vaginal sex doesn’t. It’s still seen as dirty, as taboo, and possibly even as vaguely humiliating for the receiver. For some people, that makes it a no-no; for others, that’s part of its appeal.
Raywolf then tells the story of an ex-girlfriend of his who
had got curious about anal sex from watching porn. She started asking to try it. … We freely had anal sex for many months, until we both passed over it as a ‘phase’. For that year, the relationship was amazing. She was literally my bitch. She did what she was told.
Now, there’s just one little difference between this and prison “sex.” It didn’t take place in an atmosphere of coercion and physical threat. It took place because Raywolf’s girlfriend has decided to explore her sexuality. She’s the one who asked to do it. In other words, it was sex, not rape. How this equates to him “dominating” her or making her his “bitch” I have no idea.
Raywolf offers up his own crackpot theory to explain why butt sex makes those getting penetrated submissive:
I was trying to think into why this might be and you can laugh at my theory, but the connection of the rectum to the digestive system which is in many ways the emotional brain of the human machine is clear and present.
Well, it’s true that we can have “gut feelings” about things but, I’m pretty sure the emotional brain of the human machine is still … the brain.
If you look at the intestines they look a lot like the curls of the brain.
Oh. So things that look the same ARE the same? Is spaghetti the brains of Italian food?
Being stressed or nervous can literally shut down your digestion, make you throw up or lose your appetite. It’s an emotional group of organs. The kidneys and lungs for example are a more logical organ, they just process all day long.
After this bit of crackpottery, raywolf returns us to prison:
When a man is sodomised in jail, it’s not just the stigma or the act itself. As Jake explained – another male has taken control, and possessed his emotional state, both physically and psychologically, he therefore becomes submissive, at least until he’s been nailed by 20 different guys, then the whole thing becomes as much of a moot point as the vagina does these days.
There are many reasons why a male rape victim in prison might “become submissive” towards the man who raped him. One reason? Since he’s unlikely to be able to avoid his rapist, he may wish to avoid future rapes at the hands of the same man, or at least to mitigate the violence of these rapes. Or he might count on his rapist to protect him from being raped by others.
But to raywolf, after enough raping — sorry, sodomy — he ultimately becomes the one with power:
He gets bitchy after a while, now he’s got value, something others want. But his first has a huge hold.
In conclusion, raywolf argues:
It’s a theory for you to consider and experiment with. I noticed both my previous relationships got out of hand a few months after we stopped doing anal. If you want to hang on to her, try doing her in the ass a few times a month. Make her submit to you. It might make her settle down and lose some of the entitled attitude.
It’s remarkable just how readily these guys equate sex with themselves as a kind of punishment for any woman unlucky enough to find themselves in bed with them.
For raywolf, the actual sex seems to be almost beside the point. His real aim is to knock “entitled” women down a peg or two.
Just as he has elided the issue of consent when it comes to the person being penetrated — whether girlfriend or cellmate — raywolf has also elided the issue of pleasure, when it comes to the one doing the penetrating. Believe it or not, but some dudes don’t actually enjoy fucking other people in the butt.
But no matter: Raywolf, like Roosh himself, seems far more interested in taking out his aggressions and resentments on women than he does in actually enjoying sex.
NOTE: If you are concerned about prison rape, I’d suggest you check out the organization Just Detention International, which advocates for victims of rape and other forms of sexual abuse in jails and prisons.
OH! So THAT’s why I always get the trots at that time of the month. Gee, I should take MRAsshat anatomy lessons more often…you learn so much!
(And that “Other John Howard” clip was excellent!)
More borgcritters! A troll and a borgi corgi!
RE: MordsithJ
On a more serious note, I’m waiting for the howls of outrage that will surely be coming from MRA’s over this trivialization of male-on-male prison rape.
Yeah, right. Like I’ve said, and keep harping on, these guys don’t ACTUALLY give a shit about male rape survivors, except as a whipping stick to beat women with. Shockingly, I don’t care for that treatment! It’s just one of the many reasons I find the MRM to be disgusting. I’m a human being, not your evidence, assholes.
RE: Argenti
What is with the recent string of ableist comments around here?
I DON’T KNOW! I wish they’d knock it the fuck off though, because this is getting really tiresome.
RE: CassandraSays
That may well be the least erotic sentence in the history of the English language.
Nah. I’ve read honest-to-god published porno with the line, “my scrotum curdled.” And even THAT’S not the least erotic sentence I’ve ever read.
“Argenti – Belated congratulations for new batch of cories. I honestly was starting to wonder how you’ll manage a constantly increasing population of cories…Pet stores to the rescue?”
I’ve got a 55g tank that’s currently housing 10 fish, the largest of which is one of my gorgeous girls (not mama cory, though she isn’t much smaller) — my biggest girl is maybe 1.5″. So that tank can easily house another 40 cories. I had about 25, a half dozen danios, a full grown plec and half dozen clown loaches in there before I had ich and velvet at the same time (that was horrible).
::slaps forehead:: Of course! Why didn’t I realise that too?
Glad you liked the Other John Howard clip. The actor John Howard’s a cool bloke, and The Games was a terrific series.
LBT – the borgi corgi link is broken! 🙁
What I like about that troll borg is that the robot bit is cute, and looks like the dreadful troll has been added.
A curdling scrotum? What, it’s got milk in it that’s gone off?
The way McCaffrey frames things in later Pern is strange. There’s nothing particularly clever about having the very conservative Holds vs the supposedly sexually free Weyrs when half of it comes down to people mating because their dragons do. She has Lessa say how “girls beg to come to the Weyr” in Dragonquest, but it’s pointed out that the Oldtimer weyrs are more likely to kidnap girls to act as drudges and, presumably, sex slaves to dragonriders (it isn’t said, but it’s pretty heavily implied). Granted she wrote the first books in the late 60s, but the whole thing just feels now like someone who wants to get in on the sexual liberation schtick, but really doesn’t believe it, and has to frame it so women aren’t really doing Teh Secks voluntarily. Except Kylara, of course, who’s the first of her cardboard villains.
And that whole “anal makes men gay” … presumably only when the guy’s receiving, not being a Manly Man and penetrating. After all F’nor has plenty of male partners (we’re told Canth is very popular with green dragons) and he’s such a manly man he rapes Brekke, and of course makes her like it.
Gods, the things you read as a teenager and haven’t a clue how bad they are. 🙁
The troll code hadn’t been done yet, I’m having a case of the blahs. Otoh, I’m running out of interesting serial killer documentaries, so I’m going to have to get back to work soon.
Forgot to add: another thing that makes me think McCaffrey was a conservative hiding under this is her “women’s Real Role is to make babieeeeeeees” shit she pulls all the time. Lessa, least maternal of people one would think, pining forever because she couldn’t get pregnant again after F’lessan; that ghastly short story A Meeting of Minds where the Rowan’s daughter finally figures out that a woman’s most important role begins with being physically dominated by a man; the character in To Ride Pegasus whose brain seems to be located in her uterus (or large intestine?) and is such a Womanly Woman because gettng pregnant with the perfect baby is most of her reason for living.
::hurl::
Argenti – they weren’t serial killers, but did you ever read/ see a doco on possibly the most incompetent murderers ever, Ruth Snyder and Judd Grey?
I was maybe 9 when I first encountered the Pern books, and even then the fact that the only woman who displays any real sexual agency is framed as pure concentrated evil didn’t sit right with me. Plus, I mean, she’s sexy and blonde, so obviously she must be a horrible person, right?
The contrast between curvy, busty Kylara and how evil she is and plain, small-busted Brekke who’s so unsexual that even when the man she’s in love with makes a move on her he “has to” force her into sex and how virtuous she is was especially offputting.
No, I haven’t. Will have to add them to my list though. It’s the forsensic psych part that interests me, so mass murderers and such fit that too. Forensic psych was one of two things I had debated going to grad school for, that and art therapy (shocking, I know)
RE: Kittehs
Oop, sorry about that! Borgi Corgi attempt #2!
Gods, the things you read as a teenager and haven’t a clue how bad they are.
Two words: Piers Anthony. He pretty much owned our wee soul from the ages of eight to fourteen, him and his creepy pedopologism and his thing about rape and horses and sometimes rape AND horses and aaaaagh it burns.
All of this makes me glad I’m not a big McCaffrey fan. I have The Coelura, and a few of her “Ship Who Sang” books (which ARE good), but none of the dragon ones — I’m averse to fantasy that relies overmuch on dragons (because that’s been done so much), unless we’re talking the calibre of Tolkien or Le Guin, in which case YAY DRAGONS! (Yup, I’m a dragon snob. So slay me.)
And yeah, that “raped into Teh Ghey” thing is just a massive wad of nope. So’s the “making her realize that her feminine role is to be dominated and love it”. It’s right up there with “corrective” rape of lesbians. Having a cock (or some facsimile thereof) stuck into oneself does not turn one into an instant cock fan. The idea that anyone could suddenly “decide they liked” what they did not even want, mid-way through having it forced on them, is an implausible plot-advancer that deserves to go extinct. Along with the whole culturally ingrained idea of “all she needs is a good fuck” (or a bad fuck, or a mediocre fuck, or any fuck at all). Nobody “needs” a fuck to “fix” them in any way. That shit’s rape culture, pure and simple.
The only McCaffrey book we read in its entirety was the first Acorna book, and when we reached the second, we realized we actually didn’t like the protagonist much at all, it was just the secondary characters AROUND her that we liked. (Most of whom were shunted off in Book Two.)
But then again, the unicorn myth was a big thing, and I’ve always thought unicorns were the creepiest Freudian pedos to ever gallop under moonlight.
The whole combination of virgin and big pointy horn always did seem a bit eyebrow-raising.
Borgi Corgi! CUUUUUUUUUTE!
Oh gods yes, Piers Anthony. SO horrible.
Urgh, yes, and you notice Brekke still gets implicit blaming for being so virtuous? She tells F’nor she’s inhibited, she’s scared of what will happen when Wirenth rises and she’s scared she’ll hurt Wirenth somehow. That F’nor’s the only man she fancies is somehow painted as wrong as well – or maybe the idea of women being free to choose (Brekke’s implicitly disgusted by Weyr morals) is what we’re really being told is so bad.
Bina – yes, corrective rape is what came to mind reading that foul McCaffrey interview. Being raped turned that man gay? What?
I enjoyed some of the Ship Who Sang stories, too. I liked The Ship Who Searched, though it is pretty saccharine.
::looks over glasses:: You’re lucky I’d finished my coffee before I read that, young man.
Also! If the men who might have raped Brekke if F’nor hadn’t gotten there first had been too kinky it would have been Kylara’s fault for conditioning them to respond to her preferences.
That was classy.
Gah, I’d forgotten that bit. 🙁
I guess no bronze rider in Southern was a) not interested in Kylara or b) capable of thinking “Hey, this isn’t Kylara!” or c) capable of thinking even when caught up with his dragon. It can be done, she tells us this after F’lar specifically doesn’t think to control himself the first time with Lessa, though he seems remarkably articulate for someone about to lose it in that moment.
Yeah, having F’nor being “thorough” – I don’t even want to think what that means – is such a good thing. Even though Brekke is still repulsed by the thought of sex with someone else.
Seems the women are never going to win in McCaffrey’s books.
Yet F’lessan’s all surprised when whatsername, that green rider, reveals she’s been raped every time her dragon mates. Duh, it’s like McCaffrey had a very small, feeble and belated light come on.
RE: CassandraSays
The whole combination of virgin and big pointy horn always did seem a bit eyebrow-raising.
Yuuuuup, plus a lot of people seem to have these really creepy Freudian ideas about “little girls LOOOOOVE horses” all on their own, and now you add this big phallic horn and laying it in young virgins’ laps, and it’s always GIRL virgins and eeeueuuuugh.
Our rapist had some choice things to say about us taking horseback riding lessons as a wee child. Needless to say, that was enough to turn me off fuckin’ unicorns for life; there’s a reason the only times I’ve written one in the past ten years, it was the Douchey Unicorns strip and the MAGICAL MOONBEAMS creepercorn.
Little Cassandra liked horses, but she didn’t LIKE horses, if you know what I’m saying. Wouldn’t it make more sense to think that little girls like horses because they’re like giant My Little Ponies and you can brush their manes and pet them like you would a dog (except you probably can’t ride on your dog’s back, unless you’re small and it’s a Newfie)?
I’m trying to think of things associated with girlhood that creeps haven’t tried to sexualize and I’m drawing a blank.
I loved horses as a kid, but I wanted to be one as much as anything. Comes from reading the Silver Brumby series.
Also I know how to ride* and I can’t say it’s ever done anything for me in a sexual sense. A horse did drag me into the North Sea once, but I can’t say “have legs immersed in freezing water” has ever been a kink of mine.
*Horses, dammit.
They’ve sexualized EVERYTHING. Cats? PUSSY. Which they’ve also made into an insult for all things weak and wimpy. That threw me for a total loop the first time I heard it, and I’ve hated that usage ever since. Cats are feisty and brave…much more so than the misogynous assholes who call people “pussy” as an insult.
‘Tis that…but at least no one could rape the ships. Any relationship they had with their pilots was strictly cerebral, though a lot of them did get very close. It was kind of poignant that way…
Actually, wasn’t there one point in one of the books where the dude was about to open the ship’s shell and rape her?
(Sorry to burst your brief “see, McCaffrey was capable of writing a book without any rapey content!” bubble.)
Yeah, in our case, it was something around, and learning to ride a horse seemed one of those skills that were unlikely to have much practical use, but that we wanted anyway. (You never know when you’ll be outrunning the cops on horseback, streaking off into the horizon!) But then again, the guy WAS an adult grooming teenagers and hanging out with kids as young as thirteen; it wasn’t exactly a coincidence that he would sexualize something like horseback riding. (He seemed to sincerely, honestly think it was a sexual thing with us, and was taken aback when we were like WAT NO.)
Aaaaand yeah, I hadn’t really thought of it that way, but a LOT of stuff young girls played with gets creepily sexualized. But then again, we were huge into dogs and all sorts of animals as a child, and none of them get the creepy sexual treatment like horses. (Cats get called pussy, but nobody actually THINKS folks have their cats for sexual reasons, do they? D: )
I forget…it’s been too long since I read them last. Not a fan, as I said. Maybe I missed that one. Which was it?