So a fellow over at Roosh Valizadeh’s Return of Kings blog has come up with a new way for men to “dominate” the women in their lives. And it’s inspired by … prison rape.
Let’s let him explain. The RoK writer who calls himself raywolf was allegedly hanging out with an alleged old friend of his who’d allegedly just gotten out of prison after 20 years for his part in an armed robbery in which a security guard was killed.
His friend “Jake” was apparently a bit taken aback by the changes that have taken place over the last several decades. Surprised by the ubiquity of tattoos amongst the general population, and by what he saw as a lot of “masculinized” women out there, he concluded that life outside of prison these days is a lot like life inside prison.
And this brings us to the prison rape. Or, as Jake prefers to call it, eliding entirely the issue of consent, sodomy:
He explained to me that one of the ways in jail that guys dominate each other and push someone into submission is with the use of sodomy. … there was a hierarchy established in some groups in the prison, through the use of having a bitch, especially amongst lifers. It’s not just a sexual thing, or gay – it’s a question of creating loyalty and having someone to cover your back and run errands and favors for you.
So at this point a light bulb apparently went off in Jake’s head and he thought:
“The answer is to fuck your bird in the ass, then she’ll be your bitch.”
It seems to me we’re missing something here, and that something is consent. Some people like butt stuff; some people don’t. The ass isn’t a battleground, or at least it shouldn’t be. If the, “bird” in question enjoys anal sex and agrees to it, you’re not actually “making her your bitch.” You’re simply having a particular kind of sex with her — and one that actually requires a grat deal of trust and patience in order to be pleasurable for both partners. If she doesn’t enjoy it and says no, you’re RAPING HER.
But let’s hear the rest of his, er, argument:
In times gone by, women were submissive to the male in large part due to the sexual act. The emotional response to having another human being penetrate your body and deposit their genetic fluids inside it is not to be overlooked in terms of establishing a power structure. I can hear the feminists howling rape as I write this, but it’s not entirely the case.
Well, it’s true that rape — and not just anal rape — has been used to terrorize women (and some men) into submission. But sex is sex and rape is rape, and it’s raywolf and Jake, not feminists, who seem to have trouble telling the two apart.
While women are hardwired to be submissive to their man, the internet is on fire with married men complaining about how aggressive, cold, demanding and so forth their wives have become. Clearly the power structure has collapsed.
Ah, now we get to the real complaint: women aren’t doing what we want them to do.
Naturally, raywolf tries to pretend that this makes women miserable too:
Women are not happy either—they are crashing about in men’s lives and bouncing from one divorce to the next.
So what does this have to do with butt stuff?
Vaginal sex is now seen as nothing more than a pleasurable pastime for women. It no longer carries the weight it once did. …
Whereas before a woman having sex with a man meant to some degree she had given herself away to that man, that she was now under his umbrella, today it is virtually meaningless—just a quick mutual genital massage.
Well, it can be. But PIV sex can still be and often is emotionally meaningful; it doesn’t cease to be that just because it no longer means that the dude with the penis gets to boss the woman around afterwards. Raywolf is confusing “meaningful” with “good for dudes like me.”
Enter the butt:
Sodomy on the other hand is still an act that has not been entirely pushed into the realm of indifference like regular sex has. You can most certainly find girls that are anal virgins.
There is a bit of truth here: anal sex does carry connotations (for many people at least) that vaginal sex doesn’t. It’s still seen as dirty, as taboo, and possibly even as vaguely humiliating for the receiver. For some people, that makes it a no-no; for others, that’s part of its appeal.
Raywolf then tells the story of an ex-girlfriend of his who
had got curious about anal sex from watching porn. She started asking to try it. … We freely had anal sex for many months, until we both passed over it as a ‘phase’. For that year, the relationship was amazing. She was literally my bitch. She did what she was told.
Now, there’s just one little difference between this and prison “sex.” It didn’t take place in an atmosphere of coercion and physical threat. It took place because Raywolf’s girlfriend has decided to explore her sexuality. She’s the one who asked to do it. In other words, it was sex, not rape. How this equates to him “dominating” her or making her his “bitch” I have no idea.
Raywolf offers up his own crackpot theory to explain why butt sex makes those getting penetrated submissive:
I was trying to think into why this might be and you can laugh at my theory, but the connection of the rectum to the digestive system which is in many ways the emotional brain of the human machine is clear and present.
Well, it’s true that we can have “gut feelings” about things but, I’m pretty sure the emotional brain of the human machine is still … the brain.
If you look at the intestines they look a lot like the curls of the brain.
Oh. So things that look the same ARE the same? Is spaghetti the brains of Italian food?
Being stressed or nervous can literally shut down your digestion, make you throw up or lose your appetite. It’s an emotional group of organs. The kidneys and lungs for example are a more logical organ, they just process all day long.
After this bit of crackpottery, raywolf returns us to prison:
When a man is sodomised in jail, it’s not just the stigma or the act itself. As Jake explained – another male has taken control, and possessed his emotional state, both physically and psychologically, he therefore becomes submissive, at least until he’s been nailed by 20 different guys, then the whole thing becomes as much of a moot point as the vagina does these days.
There are many reasons why a male rape victim in prison might “become submissive” towards the man who raped him. One reason? Since he’s unlikely to be able to avoid his rapist, he may wish to avoid future rapes at the hands of the same man, or at least to mitigate the violence of these rapes. Or he might count on his rapist to protect him from being raped by others.
But to raywolf, after enough raping — sorry, sodomy — he ultimately becomes the one with power:
He gets bitchy after a while, now he’s got value, something others want. But his first has a huge hold.
In conclusion, raywolf argues:
It’s a theory for you to consider and experiment with. I noticed both my previous relationships got out of hand a few months after we stopped doing anal. If you want to hang on to her, try doing her in the ass a few times a month. Make her submit to you. It might make her settle down and lose some of the entitled attitude.
It’s remarkable just how readily these guys equate sex with themselves as a kind of punishment for any woman unlucky enough to find themselves in bed with them.
For raywolf, the actual sex seems to be almost beside the point. His real aim is to knock “entitled” women down a peg or two.
Just as he has elided the issue of consent when it comes to the person being penetrated — whether girlfriend or cellmate — raywolf has also elided the issue of pleasure, when it comes to the one doing the penetrating. Believe it or not, but some dudes don’t actually enjoy fucking other people in the butt.
But no matter: Raywolf, like Roosh himself, seems far more interested in taking out his aggressions and resentments on women than he does in actually enjoying sex.
NOTE: If you are concerned about prison rape, I’d suggest you check out the organization Just Detention International, which advocates for victims of rape and other forms of sexual abuse in jails and prisons.
Here is what’s amusing: these talk about how hurt they are when people over look the rape of male victims, and then they write this article……….
Okay.
This really concerns me for another reason. What if Katharine MacKinnon was right, and that sexual intercourse really is a weapon used by men to subjugate women? This MRA actually said that in the past, men would use PIV to subjugate women into submission, but now he “has” to do anal in order to subjugate women.
I really hope that it’s not actually true that PIV=Rape, but seeing these MRAs makes me wonder if the RadFems were right all along, and that we sex-positive feminists are just playing into Patriarchy’s hands.
@Mew York Kitty (@CCMSparkster)
Nope. Heterosexual sex is not inherently a weapon for anyone, and being sex positive doesn’t play into anyone’s hands because a big part of being sex positive is one) knowing what sex entails (you know, like enjoyment for all people involved) and two) the ability to say “no” and respecting the “no”.
@Pandapool
Thank goodness. Oh, speaking of how MRAs and RadFems are actually more similar than they think, have you checked out the subreddit r/therealmisandry ?
It’s kind of astonishing just how anti-male anti-feminists actually are. They’re constantly claiming that all men are inherently rapists, that men can’t be raped because we apparently just love sex all the time, etc. And of course, MRAs seem to have a hard time differentiating between BDSM and abuse when they imply that male feminists are all into femdom, implying that they’re actually enablers of domestic abuse instead of people who are participating in consensual sexual roleplay.
Speaking of, I remember arguing with an MRA and I told him about how I was sexually assaulted in a gay bar. His response was mostly claiming I’d be into femdom or some other horrible shit like that. So much for giving a shit about male abuse/rape survivors.
Excuse me?
Seconding what emilygoddess said.
The attempt to imply that this nutjob’s views are representative of the manosphere–or even of PUAs–is no more intellectually honest than pointing to Solanis and saying, “See?! Feminists are a bunch of genocidal maniacs!”
Crazy people gonna crazy.