Has A Voice for Men just declared itself in favor of marital rape?
In the midst of a long and otherwise fairly tedious piece complaining about wives asking their husbands to do their fair share of the chores, Clint Carpentier offers some rather startling thoughts on marital rape laws, and how he thinks they help to make marriage a losing proposition for modern men.
In the good old days, he writes, “sex was a wifely duty she was obligated to provide as per the terms of marriage.” But “since the advent of ‘marital rape,’ sex [in marriage] is no longer a loving duty, so it has become whim and weapon … .”
Yep. Apparently “being raped by your husband” is really just a way to fulfill your “loving duty” as a wife.
So, Carpentier concludes, if wives demand that you do the chores around the house, and you can’t rape them at will, what’s the point of even having one in the first place? After all, he argues, in an age of washing machines and readymade meals chores are easy, and men can get “once per day of blasé sex” from “any street-hooker” or splurge on “mind-blowing sex once a week [from] a well trained call-girl.”
And so, he writes,
If women are demanding that their husbands do their “fair share” of the chores, then why do men need wives at all? In man’s attempt to make their wives lives easier, they have reduced the wifely duties to next to non-existent. Why, women? Why oh why would you drive those final coffin nails of obsolescence in? Aside from children, there’s no benefit left to having a wife.
Well, if the only “benefits” you can see in having a wife are someone who will do the cooking and cleaning and whom you can rape at will, then, no, there is no benefit to you in having a wife now that marital rape is illegal. And there is certianly no benefit to any woman in marrying or dating or possibly even being in the same room as you.
Where have all the good men gone? Well… where have all the good women gone?
That’s right: A man who considers marital rape to be a husband’s right honestly thinks that he’s one of the good ones.
AVFM’s Paul Elam loves to rail against the evils of traditionalism and chivalry. Interesting that marital rape is one element of traditionalism he apparently has no problem with.
Oh it makes perfect sense as long as you consider that raping and beating their unruly property is the entire point and appeal of marriage…
And they wonder why people consider them to be the abuser’s lobby.
I really want to throw polyamory in their faces and see the arm-flailing and rage that ensues.
“mUltipppple part-ners? HussssssBAnd & lov-r? CHeating thATssss nOt cheat-ing? ENJOY-ABLE SEX? NO. COCK CAROUSAL ERR-OR. ABORT. ABORT.”
(Yes, I am imagining them to be malfunctioning Daleks.)
Hahaha, I know a relationship that’s like that. Well, fiancé, not husband, but everyone seems all happy and whatnot.
TMI, minus the marriage part, some of my best sexytimes have occurred as a party in a poly relationship. Your partner(s) shouldn’t be hard work, but I think having to make it work makes for better sexytimes — when you have to a range around multiple schedules there’s a greater sense of “I want you, naked, now”
(Note MRAs, that’s “I want you”, full stop, not “I want you to do things to me that please only me”)
Not to mention that if the “you” in question doesn’t want to, they don’t have to.
It seems like they think this is some kind of threat to feminists:
If you don’t let us beat and rape you, well then we won’t marry you ha ha! Now who has the last laugh??
Ally: Not gonna comment on your dad; that’s your right. I will say you’re an astoundingly strong person to have come through that history and still manage to be a good and decent person yourself. All the internet hugs you might want.
***********
Redcap: “Funny” thing is, those MRA-types who manage to get married often will cheat (because they feel justified in doing so because their wife didn’t turn out to be a wind-up sex-doll and houseslave combo package), but they’d despise an actual open relationship which allowed their wife to do the same, because that would be misandry.
Is it wrong of me to always wonder what the FeMRA would say to justify the abhorrent things written on AVFM?
Jesus Christ. Can’t these dudes just get a damn Realdoll and be done with it? That way, no one gets hurt.
Rape advocates, all of them.
what’s he gonna tell the wife?
No no no. He’s going to remain single and get all his wifely needs filled by housekeepers and sex workers. And staying unmarried will allow him to save thousands of dollars a month on bonbon purchases, so he’ll have plenty of money to pay the hired help.
I once saw an MRA online lay out a similar plan for how he would manage when he finally got custody of his kids. Obviously he couldn’t do any childcare himself, because that was women’s work, so he’d hire a full-time maid/nanny. On top of raising his kids, she’d do all the housework, so it’d be as good as having a wife again. And it would totally be possible to pay this woman on the $200 a month he’d save on child support.
I can’t imagine why this guy had trouble getting custody. Or why his wife left him in the first place.
Wait. So they are mad the law says that they can only have sex with someone who wants to? So theyd rather have sex with someone who does so out of duty (or pity) instead of finding a woman who finds them attractive and wants to have sex with them??
The greatest human rights movement of all time, now with extra rape! Thanks, AVfM, for not seeing women as autonomous beings. I bet if we were to say that HUSBANDS needed to give it up on demand, it would be cloudy with a chance of shitstorms from them.
Kittehs:
AMEN.
Mr. HK is not only my nicer half, he’s my neater half. He was doing his own housework long before we hooked up. There’s certain ways he likes things done, so he does them. we both have those things, so we split the housework according to that.
Ally’s dad is far from unusual. I’ve known a couple of men who admitted to being traumatized as children by hearing their mom raped in the next room. Neither of them grew up to be rapists themselves, but they were both estranged from their fathers as adults. Not surprising that men who rape their wives also beat their kids.
I’m sorry, but every time I see this thread’s title my brain replies “may the power of the butt compel you!” (Said in the tone of “may the power of christ compel you!”)
Damnit, wrong thread!
Shaenon:
What? Even assuming that maid/nanny would only work a 40 hour workweek (which wouldn’t happen, seeing as she was going to be completely responsible for raising kids AND housework) that works out to about $1.25 an hour. Yeah, good luck with that, dude.
And, of course, if a woman were to hire a full-time nanny and maid, for whatever reason, she’d be considered a horrible mother.
As for the slime that is the OP. Holy fucking shit. Reads like a kid’s tantrum, only with added rapey-ness. “If women won’t be household slaves and submit to sex whenever I want, no matter how she feels or what she wants, then I’m just not gonna get married! So there!”
To which my reply is, “OK. Good.”
@La Strega
[Content note: domestic abuse, rape]
That’s horrific. My older siblings heard my dad yelling and screaming at my mom when he was trying to coerce her. They even heard him saying “It’s my right!” I was too young to understand what was going on, but I was disturbed by all of the yelling because I had no idea why it was happening.
On a side note, why are these guys so obsessed with marriage? Tons of people have no desire to marry, and they just live their lives not being married. No tantrum, no rape/chore cost benefit analysis necessary.
David Futrelle
I just created a blog post over at LGF about this. Thanks for alerting me to Carpentier and his disgusting commentary.
A Voice for Men Writer Defends Marital Rape – No Really
http://littlegreenfootballs.com/page/304043_A_Voice_for_Men_Writer_Defends
@auggziliary “Has anyone ever heard an MRA acknowledge understand the concept of love?” My impression, at least from what I’ve read on this site, is that they see all human interactions as “transactional” and congratulate themselves on having seen through what they consider to be BS social conditioning. I suspect their dealings with all other people, not just women, are viewed in terms of trading benefits. Children exist to fulfil the biological imperative of passing on one’s genes. Other men are rivals. “Love” and “friendship” are a whitewashing of the “real” unvarnished truth about human nature.
@ MaudeLL
That’s a good question. I’m guessing it’s because their definition of a man is defined in relation to their control of women. They spent a lot of energy disparaging of women, but an equal amount of time devoted to reasoning why men should be in control. Them disparaging women is probably a mechanism of control or at the least an excuse for their shitty behaviour.
I wish their opinions on marital rape were less common. My mom’s favorite conservative talk show host goes on all the time about how its a woman’s duty to have sex with their husbands. He’s even got a male/female special, and one of the subheadings is “Obligatory Sex”.
These creeps think that women are supposed to feel like sex is a chore. They think it’s inevitable that women will eventually “withhold” sex from their husbands because sex isn’t for women, but for men.
I’m a straight cis woman, and if I thought that men enjoyed sex as little as these MRA assholes believe women do, I’d be absolutely horrified. I’d never have sex again. I cannot fathom the amount of entitlement in men who believe that women do not like sex and that men have the right to sex with women regardless.
Yeah, I think that underlying assumption is prevalent, especially in older generations. They don’t think about it, but it’s definitely viewed as one of those things women are supposed to do to “keep their man happy”. Therefore, if he cheats it’s because the women wasn’t fufilling her role, but if she cheats it’s because she’s a terrible person. Well what about keeping the other partner happy? I’m not givin’ it up if it ain’t good.
Psychology and Law was one of my favorite classes and I learned a lot. It was also pretty depressing as well. For example: “There’s really no way to reform sex offenders and child molesters. Institutionalization is the only option we have right now because they will re-offend.” We watched a video on domestic violence and one woman described how she was brutally raped by her sadistic husband quite often. If Carpentier believes that that man’s actions were “natural” and it was the woman’s “wifely duty” to go along with it, indicates that he probably has some undiagnosed Personality Disorders.
Can we not on the armchair psych? This view is, unfortunately, quite common, no way does everyone who holds a “traditional” view of marriage have a personality disorder. I mean, this was the law in the US until the 70s. It’s wrong, and rape, and stunningly ignorant coming from a supposed human rights movement, but it isn’t a personality disorder.