Oh, Reddit! Why must you be so Reddity? As a reminder of how deeply shitty Reddit can be even outside the confines of the Men’s Rights and Red Pill and related subreddits, consider the following comment from AskReddit, in which a RedPiller responded to another comment trying to summarize the “Red Pill Philosophy” for those unfamiliar with it.
Cyralea, a dedicated Red-Pill popper himself, took issue with the notion that Red Pillers are angry. (Gosh, why would anyone think that?) “Some are, certainly,” he wrote. “Particularly former betas who are recovering and are just discovering the nature of the world.”
But, he added,
The philosophy follows that one shouldn’t be any more angry at a women for her behaviours than one gets mad at a dog for chewing things up. We encourage self-improvement and self-respect in light of this newfound information. Some men use the knowledge to pursue sex, but others use it within their relationships/marriages. Alpha behaviours lead to healthier, stronger relationships. The women we date end up more satisfied in the long run, so both parties benefit.
I think it’s easy to get distracted by the angry people in /r/theredpill. There has been a recent influx of subscibers, so there’s been a little more angst than usual. The philosophy absolutely doesn’t hinge on anger though, though the language used may suggest such.
Emphasis added. As of this moment, this comment has a net 7 upvotes, 11 upvotes and 4 downvotes. That’s right: 11 Redditors saw this comment suggesting that women are like dogs who chew up sneakers and thought, “I’d better reward this bit of timeless wisdom! UPVOTE!”
In a followup comment, Cyralea tried to explain why the word “bitch” pops up so frequently on the Red Pill subreddit. Amongst Red Pillers, he noted, “bitches” is
literally interchangeable with “women”. It does not have the negative connotation when used there, again the same way 4Chan uses “fag”. I can understand how this seems aggressive.
Oh, “bitches” is like “fags.” Well then, no problem, use the word all you want, my dear fellow!
The mods removed this followup comment (though it’s still visible in his comment history). Apparently, in AskReddit, explicitly comparing women to female dogs is fine, and will even win you some upvotes, just so long as you don’t actually use a word meaning the same thing.
Thanks to a reader for pointing me to this very Redditty discussion.
Thanks Neuroticbeagle.
@Ally yeah, I think once you’ve seen that kind of shit go down IRL it’s infuriating to see a forum full of people who trot out “Marriage is sacred, work it out, submit harder! Churchianity is feminist, men are always benevolent and never abusive toward their property, frivorce is rampant and middle aged entitlement princess just want cash and prizes!”
I think the vast majority of women who divorce, especially after having kids, understand that it’s a ticket to a sharply reduced standard of living, to maybe never finding another spouse, sometimes even to homelessness!
But sometimes all those are better than the alternative you face. Which is being murdered, you MRassholes. ‘course, if for whatever reason you stay with a guy like that, it’s proof that women love bad boys.
I should probably go back to therapy. ha
Does anyone need a puppy?
Sorry for all the terrible abuse, and hugs for anyone who wants one.
Allowing a bully to have their way doesn’t make them nicer in any other context, so it’s kind of ridiculous that people think doing just that is the best way to fix a marriage that isn’t working.
I <3 this. It should be written in big shiny gold letters on a mountainside somewhere.
Even if it’s not a question of an abusive relationship, it plays into the myth that relationships are inevitably Hard Work, doesn’t it?
I wonder where that idea sprang from? It’s almost like the ole Protestant work ethic is creeping in to say that if relationship’s easy or enjoyable or not feckin’ drudgery, then it must be bad, or you’re not doing it right. /ass speculation
I agree Ceebarks ,
The total lie that all these women getting divorced are somehow making a profit ?While the men are living in a gutter ?
All you have to do is a quick google search to find out how absurdly ridiculous that is .And the fact is more women end up on poverty (with children) post divorce than men.
What it is is they are rage filled because she had the nerve to leave him at all and she deserved to die .So if she manages to have a reasonable standard of living that’s not fair .That gets twisted to he supports her for the rest of her life. In fact they are doing away lifetime alimony in some of the states that had it .Alimony in most states has strict qualifiers and its temporary. In the state I live in you have to have been married 10 years and show that you can not reasonably support your self /he has to have a higher income than yours and its a maximum of 3 years .
*nodnod* I feel like divorce saves a heck of a lot more families than “sticking with it” ever did; hell, there was not much physically bad going on between my parents, at least, but they *did* make one another horribly unhappy and I feel I was brought up better for having two happy parents after the age of 6 or so. My FiL was one of those slow-burn red-pillers, and as soon as he started showing signs of that particular kind of crazy my MiL got out, thank god, and it did wonders for the well being of my partner, although hir sister had already moved out and had some problems with some of the childhood experience she had had with the crazy man. My mother in law is still a very conservative “men should be decision makers and women should be meek” kind of lady, which I can’t entirely agree with, but I do respect that she has a definite idea of what standard of treatment is acceptable for herself and other women.
I’m sorry anyone has ever had to live through any of that crazy parent threat/abuse crap. *Hugs*
lana, your kitty is gooorrgeousssss. That is all.
It’s really creepy how society thinks that people getting the option to not spend the rest of their lives with someone is somehow a terrible thing. Being able to pick who you’re around is a very basic right for everyone.
Compulsory heterosexuality FTL!
dang, I need to take a break from this misogynistic junk for awhile. It makes me start to get paranoid and twitchy at my husband, who doesn’t believe in any of this stuff and has never been anything but patient and kind to me– but I guess he’s the nearest adult male so there’s some kind of fucked up emotional/mental transfer going on there. REALLY unhealthy. ugh.
Puppies and kitties and brain bleach and therapy for all who seek it, and a happy new year! ho ho ho!
Virtual hugs, ceebarks, with extra Furrinati.
Thanks Kitteh! (and hes a pain in the ass (Kato no Toki)..no lie)
The other thing on this marriage should be a gruesome sacrifice .The idea they promote getting married very young .(So as to be able to have frequent regular sex while the testosterone is peaking at its most ragefull time) When that just increases the odds that you WILL be miserable and end up divorced ?
Back in the early days of my relationship there were moments when I actually did wonder if we were doing something wrong because everything seemed so easy. People would ask us things like, “How did you settle your last fight?” and I’d be like, “We’ve never fought???” People make it sound like it’s so inevitable that you won’t get along. Luckily I didn’t dwell on it too much, and the relationship is still awesome.
Yes yes yes yes. Even with all the emotional and financial fallout of my parent’s divorce, I would never want to go back to a time when they were together.
It gets on my nerves when people talk about the divorce rate like it’s some society-ending catastrophe. My parents didn’t commit a mortal sin by divorcing. The problem was not that they ended their relationship – it’s that they never should have been together in the first place. And if you gave me a couple thousand words or so, I could list out exactly which patriarchal notions about marriage got them into the whole mess.
I used to react like that . My husband would say something and I would be like …your a MISOGYNIST !
Well my husband and I have had a lot of ups and downs and some serious too where many would have called it quits .(both our ends) …but he is NOT a misogynist . Hes a little control freakish as he has aged (but with everything not lording over me) but he is at root more a beta type guy .
I have told him about these MRA guys and he’s like ..sounds like a bunch of bitter men sitting around whining .My husband wouldn’t waste his time (he likes idling NOT) even mocking them like I am ..LOL!!!
He could have used me as an excuse to hate all women .But he has some ability to see his own faults that’s the difference.
The MRA would tell you that you are the exception .There is some data to back that up I think. BUT one paper I read said the problem with divorce is not ending the relationship.Its that leading up to right before /during /and after the fighting escalates and people don’t consider the children like they should .YEARS later the parents are still hating each other.That it the traumatic part.It sticks in the kids memory the “divorce” was traumatizing.No it was how the parents acted that was .
In all seriousness, why is a rising divorce rate a bad thing? Given that in the past it was rather difficult to divorce, maybe the rates we’re seeing now aren’t a sign that something has gone wrong, they’re just a reflection of what would have happened all along if circumstances hadn’t forced couples to stay together and be miserable with each other.
Cass I had the exact same thought a few days ago when I was looking up divorce statistics.
That’s why the MRA wants to go back to 1950 .(laws and all) Because its women filing 70% of the time .Women have more freedom than in 1950 = more divorced men. There is still something about marriage that overall benefits men more than women I suspect.
I’m sure most of these men won’t be happy until marriage is restored to what they would call its “proper state”
this “proper state” being where wives are literally the property of their husbands.
The fact that stats keep showing that men are happier married and women are happier single, in general, is part of what makes the whole MGTOW thing so lulzy.
Yes! Major seconding of that! The same thing with couples who live together before they get married. IIRC, there was this big to-do about how cohabitating (real word?) couples are more likely to break-up. Isn’t that a good thing? I mean if two people try living together and figure out it isn’t going to work, isn’t it better they figure that out before making it all official? And plus, why is the whole idea of traditional marriage the be-all and end-all of relationships and something that everyone must aspire to?
I’m glad my parents divorced. I think it was the best thing for all involved; and it hasn’t caused me or my brother any huge trauma. In fact, it benefitted us as much as it did my mom and dad. It’s not great for kids when your parents don’t want to be with each other, even if the parents try to hide it. Kids can pick up on that tension. I actually remember being relieved when my mom told me she and dad were getting a divorce.
And I’ve found my husband is a perfect antidote to misogyny. He loves and respects me and is a great father. I love my “beta” husband 🙂
Well, considering that stats still say women do a majority of the housework and childcare, regardless of the employment situation, I would say it’s pretty obvious that men enjoy more overall benefits from a marriage. To paraphrase that lady who’s name I’m blanking on (embarrassing): someone to cook, clean and take care of my spawn? Who the heck wouldn’t want a wife?!
That pretty neatly sums up how I feel about the divorce. Maybe I’m generalizing my own experiences too much. With my parents, the farther away they were from each other, the better it was for my siblings and I.
It actually surprises me that most children of divorced parents wish their parents were back together. I’m probably pulling too much from my own experiences again, but for me, imagining my parents in a happy relationship together means imagining people who aren’t really my parents.
The idea that if couples break up after cohabiting rather than getting married that’s a bad thing is even dumber. Divorce is a pain in the ass. Paperwork, lawyers, blah blah. If things aren’t going to work out then it’s better for that to become clear before things get to the stage where you need to hire lawyers to manage the breakup.
I just don’t get the desire to keep people in relationships that are making them miserable.
Sparky I know I’m not citing sources but to my memory as of recent some stats suggest its living together before you are married increases odds of divorce later. But I doubt its as simple as “living together .”
One thought comes to mind .Believe is or not some people still think if they aren’t getting a along getting married will fix it .(roll eyes) .
Ally S: I know other people have said this, but your father is a complete and awful asshole. I’m sorry 🙁
Chihuahua cuddles for anyone who needs them:
http://i.imgur.com/EgDL2Yr.jpg
Also, the kind of people who don’t see divorce as an option tend to overlap with the kind of people who think that living together if you’re not married is a dirty evil sin.