Longtime readers of Man Boobz will have noticed that most of the pickup artists and “game” gurus I write about here are also vociferous slut-shamers.
This might seem a little odd and, well, counterproductive, in that you might expect that men who enjoy having no-strings-attached sex with a large number of women would in fact be kindly disposed towards women who enjoy having no-strings-attached sex with a large number of men.
Sadly, no. In fact, the “game” masters berate these women every chance they get. The best explanations I’ve come up with so far for this curious phenomenon are
- PUAs are hypocritical misogynist douchebags
- They attack “sluts” as a way of dealing with the massive numbers of rejections they get on a regular basis from women they want to fuck.
But now our old friend LaidNYC — the legendary “my seed is liquid gold” dude — has offered his own explanation for why he shames the very sluts he wants to sleep with. It involves an assortment of metaphors, so you know it has to be true.
LaidNYC first assures us that he has the mad skillz necessary to get laid even if all the women in the world suddenly became nuns:
I am an advocate for female virtue by day, but a pussy smashing player by night.
That isn’t a contradiction.
I’m confident in my ability to get laid no matter what the dominant level of female virtue (or lack thereof) in society.
Let’s just assume this is true, for the sake of argument. The question remains: why would a sex-loving dude shame women for doing what he himself loves to do? Well, apparently because the more sex a woman has, the lower quality she is?
If girls become less slutty I’m only helping myself… I’ll be fucking better quality.
I guess women only have a limited number of sex points, and the more partners they have sex with the more points they use up.
Consider a scenario where the harder a lock is to pick, the greater the treasure that lies within. It just so happens I have expert lock-picking skills and I don’t want any chump with a paperclip coming along and getting a share of my gold.
I don’t want it to be easier to get laid.
I want it to be harder.
So this way he gets all the sex gold for himself? You’d think someone whose sperm is already gold wouldn’t really need any more gold, but, you know, metaphors are hard.
Speaking of which, let’s meet the fellows who don’t slut shame, who don’t get any gold at all but are instead reduced to eating cheeseburgers. Off the floor. Which is covered in astroturf.
[S]ome guys aren’t able to compete on this grass, so they want to lay down astroturf. They want girls to be sluttier, not more virtuous. Their answer is not to improve themselves, it is to drag the girls down to their level.
These “non-judgmental” guys are dogs who can’t reach the table to eat so they are trying really hard to convince you to drop all the cheeseburgers on the floor.
So in summary, slut shaming is a kind of alchemy that transforms dirty cheeseburgers into sex gold.
I knew there was a simple explanation!
Does it occur to Mr Fool’s Gold that “smashing” isn’t really a good choice of word here? I don’t want anything remotely like that happening around my bits. It’d be one thing if he was using it the English way (“How was the sex, darling?” “Smashing!”) but he isn’t.
He wants to make it harder for others to get sex, but he writes a blog telling other people how to get sex. Yes. I’m sure the reason he’s being completely honest about this.
I love that so many of these guys think they’re so revolutionary, and yet the old “saint in the living room, whore in the bedroom” thing has been a fantasy since forever (which is also how long women have been ignoring it and getting on happily with their lives). It’s laughable, really.
And yes Kitteh, I felt the same visceral reaction to that word… OW!
Speaking of lock-n-key metaphors, anyone here old enough to remember Melanie?
Garsh, when I was ten years old, I thought this song was sooooo dirty.
Damned if you do damned if you don’t .
The MRA isn’t even “organized.”
I LOVE MELANIE!!! Grew up with her!
I was so young I had no idea that song was about sex! 😛
“These “non-judgmental” guys are dogs who can’t reach the table to eat so they are trying really hard to convince you to drop all the cheeseburgers on the floor.”
I was idly considering a post for my own blog about my dogs (“He’s a Nice Guy, But…”) when I read this, and for some reason it makes me smile. Is this why i love my dogs so much? Because they are non-judgemental guys who will do anything to convince me to drop my cheeseburger (or pizza or lamb chop, or hell, brussels sprout!) on the floor?
@ kittehserf,
It wasn’t that YOU were so young, it’s that I was so precocious!
I think my favorite Cynthia Heimel title is, “Get Your Tongue Out of My Mouth, I’m Kissing You Goodbye.”
@ hellkell,
I think my favorite Cynthia Heimel title is, “Get Your Tongue Out of My Mouth, I’m Kissing You Goodbye.”
Damn, that’s good. That is very, very good.
La Strega – that makes sense, because you are feminism! 😉
Yes, I am. (bows humbly)
Fun factoid: Laid is ugly in French.
Other fun facts:
A vagina is not a lock, as it has no tumblers and does not correspond to keys. And if this dude should happen to try to “pick” mine, I will slap him even sillier than he already is, because I don’t go for that fumbly shit.
Vaginas don’t retain the shape of whatever was last in them, either. They are also self-cleaning, meaning his oh-so-precious sperm would be SOL in due course, and all that “happy feminine energy” it allegedly imparts would wear off with insulting promptness.
Also, sperm doesn’t impart “feminine” energy, or any other kind, unless consumed by mouth. A few measly calories’ worth, at that. Doesn’t seem worth it, given that one would have to go through an insufferable piece of shit to get some from him.
And no, dude, your sperm’s NOT liquid gold. It’s mostly water, just like every other dude’s guy juice. And if your rants are any indication, I bet your baby batter’s bitter.
Of course he’s stealing it. That makes it a cool quest, he can be be Bilbo in The Hobbit.
Stop makin’ me laugh so loud, Bina, I’m getting strange looks from the customers!
Good point about “laid”. He wouldn’t be jolie laide, either.
Or in his case, joli laid.
BTW, what’s the consensus? Is he really Matt Forney, or someone else? Inquiring minds…
I think it turned out he was some other tosser.
http://mrwgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Nathan-Fillion-Loss-For-Words-Reaction-Gif.gif
For someone who can have sex with any woman he wants, he sure complains a lot about women having sex with people that aren’t him.
So wait, by this logic, a musician who has never practiced or performed for anyone is better to watch than an award-winning master who has had years of training?
But vaiyt, women are supposed to sit around until notlaidasoftenashepretends gets around to them. Presumably they’re also meant to stay magically seventeen years old all this time.
So…not Forney, then?
Dang. I hope someone outs this prize soon, I wanna see what this self-styled Goldslinger actually brings to the table. Not much, I’ll bet…
Zilch, I would think.
Question, if LaidNYC is so great at lockpicking, why would he also be a “pussy smasher?” Makes no sense to smash pussies if you could just unlock them.
Of course, the whole “pussy smashing” thing is fucked up on it’s own. If you love pussy so much, why would you want to smash them?
Also…that pesky thing where LaidNYC is talking about having sex with WOMEN as though we’re nothing but life support for our vaginas. Ugh.